This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user demonstrates:
- A consistent, nuanced personal narrative about desisting.
- Emotional depth and self-reflection on their motivations (internalized misogyny, trauma).
- Knowledge of community-specific discourse and terminology.
- A writing style that includes passion, sarcasm, and humor, which aligns with a genuine person engaged in a difficult topic.
The account exhibits the passion and strong opinions expected from someone with this lived experience.
About me
I was born female and started identifying as male in high school because I wanted the freedoms my brothers had and was trying to escape trauma and my discomfort with being a lesbian. I realized my dysphoria wasn't about my sex but was a way to avoid dealing with those deeper issues. I stopped identifying as trans and returned to living as a woman, which for me meant dropping the whole concept of gender identity. The real answer was in confronting my trauma and learning to accept myself. I'm now comfortable being a woman who doesn't conform to stereotypes, and I finally feel clear-headed.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was really about me trying to solve other, deeper problems by changing my gender. I was born female, and for a long time, I was convinced I wasn't.
A lot of it started when I was younger. I grew up with older brothers, and I saw that they had different freedoms and were treated more like whole people. I wanted that for myself. I think that was a big part of it—internalized misogyny. I saw how girls and women were treated and I didn't want any part of it. I also had some childhood sexual trauma that made me want to disconnect from my body and being female. On top of that, I'm a lesbian, and I struggled with a lot of internalized lesbophobia. I didn't know how to be a woman who loved women, so I thought becoming a man would be an escape from that discomfort.
I started identifying as trans in high school. Everyone knew me as trans back then. I socially transitioned, meaning I used a different name and pronouns and asked people to see me as male. I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I'm really lucky for that now.
Over time, I realized that my obsession with gender was covering up those real issues. My "dysphoria" wasn't really about my sex; it was about my trauma, my low self-esteem, my feelings of inadequacy, and my inability to accept myself as a lesbian woman. I came to understand that my desire to transition was a form of escapism.
I desisted, which means I stopped identifying as trans and went back to living as a woman. For me, detransitioning was about dropping the ideology of gender identity altogether. I don't believe in it anymore. I think what we call "gender" is really just stereotypes and expression, and it should be one of the least interesting things about a person. Every woman has in common that we were born female and socialized as girls to varying degrees, and that's a real, material experience that male people don't share.
I don't regret exploring my identity because it led me to finally understand myself. But I do regret ever believing that changing my gender was the answer. The real work was in dealing with my trauma and learning to accept myself. My family pretty much ignores that whole period of my life now; they act like I was never trans to begin with, which is its own kind of weirdness.
I feel more clear-headed now. I'm comfortable saying I'm a woman, and that doesn't have to mean I conform to every stereotype. I can just be me.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Around 14-15 | Started socially identifying as transgender (male) in high school. |
| Around 22-23 | Began to question my transition and started exploring the root causes of my dysphoria. |
| 23 | Officially desisted and stopped identifying as trans. Returned to living as a woman. |
Top Comments by /u/juggerknotted:
The trans woman telling you not to use xyz while insisting her experience is the same as cis girls is... Definitely proof she's a trans woman lmao. Okay, that's mean. In all seriousness, none of those terms are bad. And socialization is definitely a thing. I know that because I grew with older brothers. I wanted to be them because I saw they had different freedoms, were treated more as their whole person, etc. And also there's nothing wrong with your views and beliefs changing over time, granted that you don't lash out on the people you care about. (Also I honestly feel more open around radfems online tbh, I've seen a fair few detrans and ssa people who are capable of seeing us as capable people).
LMAO just look anywhere (also, weird that you're using a new account and this is the first thing you say). Literally, anywhere. Especially tumblr. MtFs love centering themselves in FtM discussions and accusing them of either not being inclusive or being "evil TMEs who don't give a shit about transfems." FtMs (and FtM-aligned people) cycled through so many terms on that webbed site trying to find an appropriate word without being vilified for it (even though the words are literally just misogyny + lateral transphobia).
I feel lucky in the fact that detransitioning is more "smooth", but that's honestly because the people who most rewarded me for it are no longer around. My family... They're pretty good at ignoring what they don't like. To them, I'm just getting more comfortable in my skin because I was never trans in the first place (despite everyone knowing otherwise in hs years lol). I just feel like it'll be a pain once I have to reveal that the name I'm using is still not my legal one because that one just sucked.
I desisted (socially detransitioned) because I'm cis and found the root of my obsession with gender. Internalized misogyny, internalized lesbophobia, childhood sexual trauma, and a general feeling of inadequacy in comparison to my brothers whom I grew up seeing the girls I liked, like.
Honestly it sounds like you want to escape womanhood but can't go all the way because you still like superficial gender stereotypes. I mean this in the most polite way possible: why is the idea of being a feminine boy more gratifying than being a conforming girl? How do you view your body, and how do you view the women around you?
Your experiences are up to you. Plenty use mtftm or ftmtf because they paint a clear picture if the concept of "gender identity" is still an important part of their life. Plenty of detrans people abandon the idealogy altogether, though, for great reason.
Every woman has in common that they were born female and grew up socialized as such (to varying degrees). MtFs don't have that in common with us. And yeah, dysphoria sucks smeg, but in reality your "gender" (expression) should be one of the least interesting things about you.