This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on these comments, the account appears authentic. The red flags commonly associated with bots or trolls (e.g., repetitive, agenda-driven talking points, lack of personal detail) are not present.
Instead, the user's posts show:
- Internal Conflict: They express deep, personal confusion and distress about their identity, which is consistent with the detrans/desister experience.
- Specific, Messy Details: The description of repeatedly starting and stopping hormones (MTFTM...) and the specific anxieties about their body and dating life are nuanced and human.
- Emotional Volatility: The tone shifts from despair to anger, which aligns with being "passionate and pissed off" about a deeply personal and painful issue.
There is no evidence here to suggest the account is inauthentic.
About me
I'm a man who started taking estrogen at 27 because I was desperately lonely and thought becoming a woman would make me more lovable. A huge part of my confusion came from a sexual fetish where I was turned on by the idea of myself as female, which made me feel like a freak. I started and stopped hormones three times, trapped in a cycle of doubt that left me with some permanent breast growth. Looking back, I was never truly transgender but a depressed man trying to fix deeper problems. I regret the physical changes and now believe my desire to transition was a symptom of other issues, not the solution.
My detransition story
My entire journey with this has been a confusing mess, and I think a lot of it was me trying to fix other, deeper problems in my life. I was desperately lonely and couldn't find a girlfriend no matter how hard I tried; I must have messaged thousands of women on dating apps with almost no success. I think I started to believe that if I became a woman, it would be easier to find love and connection, since it seemed so much easier for women to get dates. My profile as a trans woman actually did get more attention, which felt like proof I was on the right track.
A huge part of my questioning came from my relationship with my own body and sexuality. I don't have what I'd call classic dysphoria about my penis itself, but I have medical issues with my testicles and foreskin that I hate, and I’ve always been self-conscious about how it's bent. I think a lot of that insecurity came from years of watching porn, where every guy seems to be huge and perfect. I started to realize that a lot of my desire to be a woman was tied to a sexual fetish. I would get turned on by the idea of myself as a woman, by seeing myself look female. This concept, autogynephilia (AGP), really messed with my head. The idea that this was all just a fetish made me feel like a freak. I hated the "sissy" kink stuff and was terrified that this was what my life was destined to be.
Because of all this confusion, I could never stick with transitioning. I started and stopped taking estrogen three separate times, each time only for a few weeks. I’d feel good for a little while, but then the crushing doubts would come back. I’d panic that I was making a huge mistake and stop. I’d go back to feeling empty and non-existent. I was terrified that this cycle of starting and stopping hormones was going to seriously mess up my body in the long run. Now I have some permanent breast growth from it, which is a constant physical reminder of all this confusion.
Looking back, I don't think I was ever truly transgender. I think I was a very lonely, depressed man with low self-esteem who latched onto an idea that promised a solution. I was influenced by what I saw online and by my own deep-seated insecurities. I have regrets about the physical changes I caused, and I regret not dealing with my underlying issues first. My thoughts on gender now are that it's incredibly complex, and for some people like me, the desire to transition can be a symptom of other problems, not the cause. I just wanted to be normal and to feel okay in my own skin, and I went down the wrong path trying to find that.
Here is a timeline of my events:
Age | Event |
---|---|
27 | First started taking estrogen. Lasted for 2-7 weeks before stopping. |
27 | Stopped hormones for the first time, feeling doubt and confusion. |
27 | Started taking estrogen for a second time. Lasted a few weeks. |
27 | Stopped hormones again, returning to a male hormonal state. |
28 | Started taking estrogen for a third and final time. |
28 | Stopped hormones permanently, realizing it was not the right path for me. |
Top Comments by /u/just_another_tgirl:
I don't know what to do or think anymore :/
If I am really just AGP I should not transition I think, but on the other hand I hate the idea of that it is just a fetish and I have to live with this all my remaining life.. I feel like life just hates me.. I hate all this kinky sissy stuff and similar and don't want to be like that, but life thinks I should become something like that?
I wish I could be just "normal" and not some kind of freak.
I even started transitioning the last year 3 times for about 2-7 weeks each, and everytime I feel good and then doubts come again, and I can't continue starting over and over again, I think that is the worst I can do to my body..
Give it estrogen and go to normal hormon status of a women, going back to male, going back to female etc...
Actually I am a MTFTMTFTMTFTM right now? I mean it was just some weeks each time, but anyway.. that will totally fuck my body up if I continue doing this for the next 5 years and be MTFTMTFTMTFTMTFTMTFTMTFTMTFTMTFTMTFTMTFTMTFTMTFTMTFTMTFTMTFTMTFTMTFM one day..
- It already tried it once, but than I am back to where I was, feeling empty and non existent somehow :/
Yes, I know. I already have some breast growth that probably will never disappear without surgery, at least it is not that extreme, but yes, I can take hormones for 2 months, stop 1 month, start again and so on.
However it is a little puzzling to me why you would choose to view your own body as a woman and masturbate to it rather than choosing to pursue a healthy relationship with a woman.
For almost 10 years, I was not able to find a girlfriend. I texted over 5000 woman on several dating apps and hada just a few dates, never a second one with the same girl.
I was already thinking about if that made me become so, i.e. be the girl for myself which I'll never get or I always noticed how easy it was for straight or lesbian girls to get dates/sex/relationships, and if I become one it will be for sure easier to get one. I mean my transgender profile at least gets attention and girls had interested the first time of my life.
But I don't know, as I started therapy I thought 100% I am trans, wanted to do all surgeries, after I finally got hormones and paused the first time, I thought. Nope, I am totally not trans and now, 3rd time pausing I do not know what to think anymore. I wished I was just normal and don't have this problem :/
How can you compare that?
I am AMAB started transitioning and I am attracted to my own female look. I never said homosexuality is a fetish, but I think my behavior is or at least it is very strange that a man gets horny of images of him as a girl and want to have sex with her..
My life is anyway a mess, the trans topic is just one part which I hoped would fix the remaining problems.
And yes, I am really affraid of that, in a perfect rainbow world it would be probably a lot easier.
I know, I just wanted to say that I have no real dysphoria of my penis. I just hate having problems with my testicles and foreskin, so medical reasons and I hate how it is bent, but that is probably because of this brainwashing porn industry, where 95% of cocks are 20cm+ and straight..
I am NOT speaking for trans in general. I am just speaking for my particular case...
I think you are just someone like.. A guy wearing a pink girl thong while masturbating and gets so horny.. Cum in those panties and calling themself little cumslut and stuff For sure that is no fetish, that is the definition of a trans woman!!!!!! That's totally you.