This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The comments display a highly personal, emotionally raw, and internally consistent narrative of medical transition, regret, and detransition. The writing style is human, with emotional depth, personal reflection, and occasional grammatical errors that are consistent with passionate, real-time posting. The user identifies as a female desister/detransitioner and describes specific, lived experiences (e.g., voice changes, shopping with mom, military background) that are not the hallmarks of a fabricated account. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the warning about the harm and stigma detransitioners face.
About me
I started transitioning at 22 after a traumatic childhood and military service made me hate being female, and I was quickly prescribed testosterone without any real therapy. I was on it for over a year, and while I liked some changes at first, I deeply miss my original voice and the connection to my mom it gave me. My life got much worse because I was trying to escape my pain by becoming someone else instead of dealing with my trauma. I regret the permanent changes and that I never got proper help to see my body wasn't the problem. Now, I'm almost 24, detransitioning, and finally in therapy to rebuild and accept myself.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. It started because I was at my absolute lowest point. I had a really abusive childhood with a lot of verbal, physical, and sexual trauma, all because I was female. Later, when I joined the military, my femininity felt like a weakness that was constantly punished. I could never measure up. I had a long history of self-harm and an eating disorder since I was 14, and I was using weed and alcohol to cope with my PTSD instead of getting real help. I saw myself as the problem, and I thought if I could just change my body, all that pain would go away.
I was 22 and really struggling to adjust to civilian life when I decided to transition. I asked the VA for a gender therapist, but instead I got a psychiatrist who, after only two hours of talking, prescribed me testosterone. There was no real therapy, no one digging into my past trauma or my mental health struggles. The medical system and the online communities I was in just gave me a green light. They offered blind encouragement, telling me I was "valid," but they never taught me to actually think through my feelings or deal with my trauma. HRT was treated like a drive-through solution, not a last resort.
I was on a low dose of testosterone for 6 months with little change, and then a regular dose for another 9 months. My body changed in ways I thought I wanted at the time. My voice dropped, my face became more square and thick, and my body shape changed. I hated my breasts and was happy to see them go, but I had no idea how much I would miss the little things later, like the sound of my own voice. I’ll never get confused for my mom on the phone again, and that breaks my heart. I didn’t realize how much that connection to her, that part of her legacy, meant to me until it was gone.
My life didn’t magically get better like the trans propaganda said it would. It got way worse. I almost committed suicide so many times. I was pretending to be happy, lying to myself and everyone else. I was trying to escape my pain by becoming someone else, but you can’t run away from yourself.
I finally realized I had made a huge mistake. I’m almost 24 now and I’ve been detransitioning for a little while. I have a lot of regrets. I regret not getting proper therapy first. I regret not understanding that my issues weren’t with my body, but with how I viewed it because of my trauma and how society treated me. I regret the permanent changes: my voice, the way my vulva has changed, my fertility. I’m praying for my period to come back, but I know some things will never be the same.
Now, I’m trying to rebuild. I’m going to therapy and working on my voice. My mom helped me shop for women’s clothes for the first time in years, and it was both relieving and saddening. I felt like I saw where I belonged, but I was also ashamed of what I had done to my body. I’m trying to be thankful for what my body can still do, like letting me walk into a store. I’m focusing on enjoying things not connected to gender, like food and my hobbies.
I’m trying to accept that this is my journey. However long it took and whatever steps I took, I have to own it. I’m aiming for a future where this is just a bad chapter I rarely remember. I’m moving forward, one foot in front of the other.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Struggled with self-harm and an eating disorder. |
| 22 | Was prescribed testosterone after only a 2-hour appointment with a psychiatrist. No prior therapy. |
| 22 | Started a low dose of testosterone. |
| 23 | Switched to a regular dose of testosterone (was on T for a total of 15 months). |
| 23 | Realized I had made a mistake and began the process of detransitioning. |
| 24 | Currently detransitioning, going to therapy, and working on accepting my body. |
Top Comments by /u/justanerd95:
I ask myself this everyday,but then I remember that I did what I thought was best. The power of outside forces and thoughts is incredible.l, especially when we're young. We're social creatures.
I didn't stop out of fear, shame, disgust,resignation,faith in my self, there's a lot of reasons we may not ever know.
I think it's good for us to analyze enough to know the why/how of our correct situation, but then we must move on. We have to! We can't stay dwelling there. Believe me I haven't completed most of that. I only recently realized how ignorant I was being last month. But the cost has already been paid my body. There's only so much I can do about that. I keep going to therapy, working on my voice, praying for my period to come back and give me back a fraction of natural female beauty. But that won't happen over night.
Regardless of how far our journeys take us astray, we always have a chance to correct course. So find a new destination, set your sails, and leave it behind you. Go to therapy, work on accepting and mitigating what you have. Keep sharing your stories so we can save oothers society is trying to kill us, trick us to doing this to ourselves under false pretense and promises . The medical field is disgusting.
My voice will never get confused for my mother's on the phone again... did I know how much that would brake my heart down the line? I had no idea the little things like that mattered. Because I made the trans decision at my lowest, at my most unhappy, ignoring that maybe I could've changed my own life, seeing only the pain. So now I have to accept that I can never sound like her again, that part of her legacy is lost to me. It hurts so much to type about even now, but I do because you're not alone and because others don't know the cost of transitioning . Its not worth it, it never was.
You can't run away from yourself
Yeah the online community can be pretty toxic. Blind Encouragement is not good, it doesn't teach you to think through your feelings or explore them. It doesn't tell you to go to therapy and deal with trauma. I.had a super abusive childhood with verbal/physical/sexual trauma due to being female. In the military my femininity was punished again time after time. I.could never measure up and had a history of self abuse. I wasn't on medication for my PtSd and was using weed and alcohol to cope with my trauma. Despite all this Dr's and the lgbt community gave me the green light with NO THERAPY before hand. I was 22 and struggling hard to adjust to civilian life, I.saw.myself.as the problem and it just spiraled too fucking fast. I needed therapy and time, not freaking drugs and being told I'm all valid. I.actually requested a gender therapist from the VA, instead I.got a psychiatrist who gave me T after 2hrs and no therapy.
They aren't giving us the care we need, hrt should be the last resort, not a fucking one stop DRIVE THROUGH!!! What is.wrong with this country!!?!
Not if they don't do their fucking jobs! Shitty therapist who don't look into your past enough, Dr's who aren't invested in their work. There are tons and tons of us !!! The trans media hides our stories and bullies.detrans people
Hey I'm going through the same thing! I was 6months on low.dose with little change and then 9months on regular dose like you. Can we chat and trade stories:! If.love to meet a sister like me
My bad, which pronouns do you prefer? Well that is a lot to swallow friend. I sympathize with you and am rooting for you. Who knows what is.possible, the future is.happening now with all kinds of new inventions. Eventually.there.will be more.options!! Keep finding.other dettans guys
I didn't realize I was running away from myself either. The sad thing is, well meaning people don't know and can't know why we thought it was what we needed. They just tried to do the right thing. But the Dr's and therapist are not being diligent in their jobs. They're not being thorough and in a years all this shit will come out. We're survivor's and we're doing our best.
I see I was trying to escape my pain by being someone else. Now I have to rebuild the body I am left with, deal with my voice, change my name and all my papers back. Its feels bad, but also you should feel good about being honest with yourself finally. However long it took, whatever steps you took, its your journey, own it. Look into implants, see what's possible . Or just be flat chested.
Right now, I hate my shape, the squareness and thickness of my face. The low tone of my voice, the way my vulva has changed. But there's only so much I can do.
Other Detrans people always say be okay with the time passing back the other way. That's what I'm clinging to. Praying to, hoping on. This time I'm gonna make the future the way I want, not try to change myself. Cause my life didn't magically get better like the trans propagandist say , it got worse. Way worse I almost committed suicide so.many.Times,.and yet stilly past self kept going!? Why? Because I refused to get therapy, I pretended I was happy, I.lied.to myself and others. I DID THAT all.by myself. And it.sucks I.wish I.could.take it.back.but I.can't Maybe one day, this will all.be a bad.chapter in my life that I rearly remember. That's what I'm aiming for, one foot in front of the other.
I'm pretty new here myself so I don't know, but try googling around
thinking that is good advice. I'm gonna stop looking at mirrors. My mom helped me shop for some girl clothing yesterday and it was the first time in years I wore cloths that fit me! It was relieving and saddening at the same time . I felt so lost, ashamed at what I've done to my body, but happy because suddenly I felt like I.saw where I belonged! There was a box for me that fit okay after all. My body has a lot of healing ahead of it, and I have a lot of work, but I'm trying to be content with just being alive right now. Enjoying things like food and my hobbies, stuff not connected to gender, sex, presentation, or anything. My body let me walk into the store because my legs work so I'm being thankful for that and leaving it there
Take it easy and take it slow. Chart your feeling a for at least a year. Make new friends, go new places. See how other people live without transitioning. Talk to multiple therapist , explore all your thoughts. Be careful of jealousy because the grass isn't greener on the other side. Watch documentaries about male life, learn about mens issues. Get into feminism and examine all sides of the spectrum It sucks to not all have the answers right away, but please believe me, if you rush and make a mistake the consequences are lifelong Don't let this world bully or push you into something you're unsure about. Your body and mind are so so.precious and still growing and developing. Get to know different women and other cultures, not all women like their breast, or.genitals, or want others to see them. YOU'RE NORMAL.AND SO ARE THOSE FEELINGS Chart down the things you're too scared to talk a about, chart the things you don't understand and don't like. Examine where these thoughts.come from and who might have influenced them.
I was a lot like you and these other detransitioned women. Being a gender nonconforming girl can be difficult, but its who we are. We can accept and love put bodies without changing them, I wish someone had told me this when I was your age. I'm almost 24 and a veteran whose detransitioning after 1.5yrs on T. I miss all the things I used to hate about my body. Things will never be the same for me. Transitioning doesn't make you automatically happy, you just trade one set of body image issues for another. I've been a bulimic and a cutter since 14, but issue wasn't my body. It was how I viewed it. How society taught me to view it. How my abuse and the abuses against me made me view it. You're so much more than your body, its just your way for getting around. PM me if you have questions and best of love to you
This just made me feel a lot better, thank you all so much I'm feeling more hopeful. My voice is cracking nigh and low right now, but on one hand I think that's good because it means it didn't settle fully low, maybe it can raise again...I'm hoping some other changes aren't as "permanent".... if anyone would like to talk privately please DM me Thank all of you again so much it really really means a lot and helps more than I can ever express