This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments display a consistent, deeply personal narrative with specific medical and emotional details (e.g., surgery regrets, dosage adjustments, childhood trauma) that would be unusual to fabricate consistently. The tone is passionate and nuanced, aligning with the expected perspective of a genuine detransitioner/desister.
About me
I was a shy, fragile boy who was badly bullied, and I thought transitioning to female was the answer to my deep unhappiness. I lived as a woman for eight years and had surgeries I now deeply regret, which didn't give me the peace I was searching for. I've come to understand my real issues were childhood trauma and social anxiety, not being born in the wrong body. Now I'm detransitioned, living as a gender non-conforming male, and finally working on loving myself. My journey taught me that you must look inward at your past before making any permanent changes to your body.
My detransition story
My entire journey with transition and detransition was a long and painful process of trying to solve the wrong problem. I was born male, but from a very young age, I was shy, fragile, and soft. I lacked confidence and was bullied terribly all through elementary and middle school. The mental pain was so bad that I eventually dropped out. I now see that a lot of my issues were not really about gender dysphoria, but were rooted in childhood trauma and abuse. This trauma manifested as me wanting to segregate from myself, chronic avoidance, procrastination, and really bad social anxiety and depression.
When I first encountered online trans forums, I felt an immediate connection. It felt like an answer. Looking back, I think I knew on some level that transitioning was a very tempting way to run away from my core issues. But I couldn't resist it. I ended up convincing myself and everyone around me that I was a trans woman and that I was born that way.
I lived as a woman for eight years. I took hormones and had surgeries, including bottom surgery. None of it gave me the peace and comfort I was desperately seeking. I really regret the bottom surgery. I think miserably about my original genitalia. I'm now stuck with a constructed vagina that I absolutely hate. It was not worth the time, blood, tears, and money. After surgery, I tried to have sex multiple times and it was never comfortable, even though I dilated as much as I was supposed to. I eventually stopped dilating completely because of the pain and discomfort.
I started to detransition about two years ago. I've been on testosterone gel for over a year now. When I first started T, I had some issues like needing to pee a lot at night because of prostate changes, but I adjusted the dose and it got better. Being on testosterone is much better for me. When I was on estrogen, I had terrible mood swings, no sexual pleasure, and no energy. Now I'm more stable and have a sex drive again, which feels weird to navigate without a penis, but I've gotten used to it.
I've come to understand that my problem was never that I was a woman trapped in a man's body. I think gender roles and expectations are nonsense. I just never liked male socialization and the behavior associated with it. I now identify as a gender non-conforming male. I probably always belonged in the non-binary or GNC camp.
I don't regret transitioning because it led me to where I am now, but I deeply regret the surgeries. I'm now working on making peace with myself, learning to respect myself as a whole person, and loving me for me. My best friend has been an incredible support through all of this, always lifting me up. He recently gave me a book by Viktor Frankl about finding meaning in life, which has been helpful.
My blunt message to anyone considering this path is to ask yourself if living as a trans person is what you actually need. You need to explore within yourself to see if there are things in your past that influenced your sense of being trans. You have to live for yourself, no matter what. But please, really think before any permanent surgery.
Event | My Age |
---|---|
Experienced bullying and dropped out of school | 14 |
First encountered trans forums and felt a connection | 19 |
Started living as a trans woman and began hormones | 20 |
Underwent bottom surgery | 22 |
Realized transition wasn't solving my problems and began to detransition | 26 |
Stopped taking estrogen and started testosterone gel | 27 |
Current age, living as a gender non-conforming male | 28 |
Top Comments by /u/justme12345678900000:
Imma post op 4+ yrs, detrans for 2 y and I really really regret this surgery. I always think miserly ab my original genitalia. now I'm stuck with this constructed "vagina" that I absolutely hate. my blunt message to u: plz don't do it. It's not worth your time, blood and tears (not to mention your 💲). you will have much better chance with dating as non-op. edit: I've tried to have sex (PIV) multiple times and it wasn't comfortable even tho I dilated as much as needed. (I decided to stop dialitions at all bc of the pain and discomfort.)
Gender roles and gender expectations are horse shit (excuse my "French"). I can relate to most of what you have written (except of the fa** word). I, as well, don't like men socialization and the typical behavior associate with that.
I transitioned to a woman 8 years ago and have had a lot of medical procedures along the line. None of those were helping me to achieve the peace and comfort I was seeking. After a lot of internal work, I can safely say that my problems were not rooted in gender dysphoria per se - they were actually related partly to traumas and abuses I exposed to as a child which manifested as self segregation, chronic avoidance, procrastination, social anxiety and depression.
As a child, I was very shy and obnoxious. Physically, I was fragile and soft. Mentally, I was very timid and lack of confidence. I suffered from bullying throughout my elementary + middle school years until I couldn't endure the mental pain and dropped out. The decision to transition I made after I encountered by a trans forum and I felt a lot of connection even tho subconsciously i knew that going through transition was a tempting way to run away from my core issues but I wasn't able to resist that and eventually I convinced myself and all of the ppl around me that I'm a TRANS WOMAN and I WAS BORN WITH IT. sigh
After a lot of years going through this path, I came to the conclusion that I'm not really trans. Probably, I belong to the NB/GNC camp and eventually always was. Now I'm working on making peace with myself and learn to respect myself as I am as a whole person and love me for me.
I hope you will find your inner peace & love. We are here with you. ♥️
Surprisingly my best friend visited me today and gave me a book called "Yes To Life In Spite Of Everything" by Viktor Frankl.
From the description: "Just months after his liberation from Auschwitz renowned psychiatrist Viktor E. Frankl delivered a series of talks revealing the foundations of his life-affirming philosophy. The psychologist, who would soon become world famous, explained his central thoughts on meaning, resilience and his conviction that every crisis contains opportunity."
I'm definitely going to read it and hopping to feel better.
tysm
edit: I'm SO grateful for my best friend who's always lift me up and he is my dearest friend in the whole world! I love u sm Jordan!
And of course Thank you everyone for your help and insight.
u need to ask yourself if living as a trans person is what u actually need. if there is no other way to be happy with yourself. explore within yourself maybe there are things in your past that influenced your sense of being (trans).
for your family, i think ur parents are worried ab u. the world is still mostly not kind to trans ppl. maybe they have other reasons why they don't support your decision. my family members are fairly religious and don't really accept my transition so I know how u feel.
no matter what will happen next, u need to live for yourself, trans or not. best of luck 🖤
I'm a post op detrans mtftm and I'm on testosterone for about a year now (t gel, 25 mg a day). When I started taking T, I had the need to pee a few times in the night due to a prostate enlargement (considering the shrinkage of the prostate by years of taking Anti Androgens + Estrogen and ofc going through SRS). To solve that, I had to decrease the T dose so my body will be able to adapt the changes, then I increase the dosage and that's it. Also, in the beginning when I got horny it felt kinda weird bc u know... I dont have a dick but I've gotten used to it. It's hard (no pun intended;) to explain. I remember when I was on E, I had mood swings, no sexual pleasure, no energy... now I'm more stable and have more sexual drive. To answer your question: Testosterone is better. For me, at least.
As a GNC male (post op) I can relate to your concerns. It seems that you have the wisdom and resilience to go about your life as u see fit. I don't have a specific advice 4 you but I'll glad to give you a big hug (in your permission ofc ;) and wish you the best.