firstly, i'm so sorry. the numbness and pain from surgery isn't really talked about in most trans circles i've seen or been in.

i know it's probably not ideal but... have you ever thought about finding a surgeon and asking them to basically close it up, just leaving you with the external appearance? so you dont have to deal with the pain anymore.

for most, cautiously. enough so that i made anonymous accounts to be able to process my feelings without fear of someone writing a "callout" on me. i don't associate with the "trans community" anymore because i cannot stand some of the ideas they push, not to mention the dogmatic, no differing opinions attitude. i'm particularly angry at adult trans people that push for minors to have access to medical transition.

most of my friends though, especially close friends, are trans or non-binary. i view them as my friends. i've talked about detransition stuff with some of them and they've all been completely supportive. i've even talked about being against or critical of minors medically transitioning, and they've understood where i'm coming from, if not agreed.

i don't think trans people are inherently bad or deviant or perverted or anything like that. there are sexual predators that are trans/non-binary, yes, so what? most trans people are not predators. just because some cis women are predators, does that mean all of them are, or that you should assume they are? no.

overall i guess i view most trans people as misguided, or manipulated. heart is in the right place. i just wish the overall sentiment from the "trans community" wasn't so hostile towards detransitioners or being against minors medically transitioning... dissenting opinions. the trans flag hurts a bit to see these days.

MTFs/transfems can't get a period or actual period symptoms, for a few reasons. it has to do with multiple hormones (not just estrogen) and the shedding of uterine lining, uterine cramps, males just do not have uteruses, thus no way to experience those things.

just fyi - breasts aren't just fat tissue and it's important for everyone, especially people considering removing them to know. female breasts are fat, but also glandular tissue, milk ducts and more, and a lot of nerves. many have erogenous sensation, and top surgery can, will, and does often kill it. this is something i wish was better explained to me before i did it to myself.

combination of negative side effects from transition, bad surgery outcome/intense regret, finally starting to consistently pass as male and realizing i hated it, and exposure to the reality of gender, sex, and misogyny. frustration with the homophobia/lesbophobia and misogyny in the trans community (and broader "queer" community)- i am not attracted to males, i am a lesbian and not the kind who happily has sex with "female penises". this position does not fly in the "queer" community and especially not the trans one. i tried to find ways to say it nicely but people just ignored it. got really sick of my boundaries not mattering.

i'm sorry for all you've gone through and are still going through, you should be proud of yourself for making it this far despite it all.

if it's any comfort, coming from a detranser on the 'far left', not all far left LGBTs (or far left in general) will abandon you, and there is growing support for us- desisters and detransers.

i hope the best for iran, that the protesters will be safe, that the regime falls, and that the women and children there are finally safe, too.

i'm female so obviously not the same situation, but, my life was greatly worsened by top surgery, i still want reconstruction because having something that at least looks like breasts is important to my psyche. surgery got me into this pit, and unfortunately it's also pretty much the only way out (only way to have breast-like things part of my body again). i understand why people don't feel the same, of course, it's a very personal thing.

obviously can't really speak to the detrans male experience, but, from a detrans female experience, I wonder if any might take it just for its mental and physical effects/effectively as a medication, and not because they think it affirms any gender feelings they might have?

also not speaking to the soundness of that. i don't want to infringe on adults' autonomy but i wonder what kinds of self injury are acceptable these days.

I was on it for about the same amount of time, have been off it for a year and like 2 months now. was also on nexplanon BC the whole time I was on testosterone. had it removed last month.

I saw a planned parenthood gyno because I started bleeding irregularly and heavily for weeks about a month after I stopped testosterone. not the same person that prescribed my testosterone. she prescribed low dose of another hormonal birth control, fucked up my mental health and I stopped it quickly.

didn't see another doctor for a while because depression and bad experience with previous one. current one is nice, good, I like her. she ordered an ultrasound and pretty comprehensive labs. my fertility is (or looks like it will be) okay despite the testosterone and birth control. i still have plenty of eggs. buuuut i think the bleeding did take a bit of a toll on me. also emotionally i am all over the place. (edited to fix a word and add a little bit more info at the end.)

TLDR; was on it about the same amount of time, been off it for longer plus had hormonal BC the whole time. my fertility is/looks like it'll be okay.