This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments demonstrate:
- Personal, detailed, and consistent narratives about their own 5-year medical transition and subsequent detransition.
- Emotional complexity and introspection, including regret, anger, and hope, which align with the stated passion of the community.
- Practical, nuanced advice that reflects a deep understanding of the physical and social realities of both transition and detransition.
- A consistent timeline and history that is referenced across multiple posts over more than a year.
The account exhibits the hallmarks of a genuine individual sharing their lived experience.
About me
I started feeling lost and uncomfortable with my body when I was 17, and after studying gender, I transitioned to male at 22. I was on testosterone for five years and had top surgery, which I now deeply regret because it left me with a body that doesn't feel like my own. I realized my desire to transition came from depression and not liking myself, not from a true discomfort with being female. The social experience of being a man never felt right, and I missed the connection of female friendships. Now, ten months after stopping hormones, I'm learning to accept my changed body and find my way back to living as a woman.
My detransition story
My whole journey started when I was around 17 or 18. I felt really lost and uncomfortable with my body and my life. I had always been a bit of a weirdo, and everyone encouraged me when I started thinking I might be trans. I’d always admired androgyny and did a degree in gender studies, so it felt like a natural path. I came out as a trans man around 22 and started testosterone soon after.
I was on T for about five years. During that time, I had top surgery, about 7 months after starting hormones. I pursued it really harshly because I couldn't stand the thought of growing chest hair on my breasts; I thought I’d feel like a freak. Looking back, I wish I had just gotten a reduction instead of a full mastectomy. I miss having functional nipples that look like they're part of my body. Now I have to live with that for the rest of my life.
While living as a man, I realized a lot of my desire to transition came from a place of not liking myself. I struggled with undiagnosed OCD and depression, and I think I used transition as a way to escape my female self and my problems. I wanted to be a new person. I also think body dysmorphia played a big part, not true gender dysphoria. I never had an issue with being female or feminine things growing up; it was more about feeling awkward and lost.
The social part of being a man is what really made me start to detransition. I felt like I was lying or undercover when I was with groups of men. I missed female friendship and being one of the girls. Being in all-female social circles made me realize how much I missed that connection. Physically, being masculine was okay for me—I passed 100% as a man and was even a good-looking one—but socially, it never felt right.
I stopped testosterone in January of this year, when I was 28. It’s been about 10 months off it now. My period came back within a month, and my hips and fat redistribution came back pretty quickly. My voice is still deep, but I’m learning vocal techniques that trans women use to raise their voices. My facial hair is still there, but it’s growing slower, and I’m getting laser hair removal. My clit doesn’t get as engorged as it did on T, but it hasn’t shrunk all the way back to how it was before.
I’ve come to believe that gender is largely a social construct. The ideas of "being a man" I was holding onto were really about escaping my own issues. I don’t regret the journey entirely because I learned a lot about myself and the world, but I do regret my top surgery. If I could go back, I would tell my younger self to wait and work through my mental health issues first.
I don’t think I’ll ever fully look or feel like I did before transition, and that’s hard. I worry about being harassed again as a woman, but I’m trying to find other ways to deal with that besides taking testosterone. It’s a process, and I’m trying to be kind to myself and give my body time to heal.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 17/18 | Started feeling lost and uncomfortable with my body, began considering I might be trans. |
| 22 | Came out as a trans man and started testosterone. |
| 24 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 28 | Stopped testosterone after 5 years and began detransition. |
| 28 | Period returned within a month of stopping T. |
| 28 | Noticed fat redistribution and hip changes within months of stopping T. |
Top Comments by /u/kaelpops:
i'm sorry you were allowed to have surgery and hormones that young :( it must be unimaginably difficult to have to refigure yourself out when puberty was so confusing. if you need to talk about experiences please always come back to this sub, we're all here for you. You're very young still and i get the frustration of being seen as a trans woman but once you're off hormones for awhile, things can really seem to change 'back' in some positive ways. can i ask if you're still on T or how long you've been off?
why does it just feel like trans people are constantly feeling defensive over their validity in the eyes of the Community or themselves because we're over in our corner? can't they spend their time cracking down on nazis or pedophiles or something more important and let us discuss how 'miracle treatments' have existed in repetitive continuity through modern time and could parallel how uneducated medical professionals are treating transition? or some other completely hypothetical civil discussion within our own space? do they even remember how unaware of lgbtq+ issues the average person is? we're in Deep deep territory with this stupid turf war and it affects basically nothing and no one at large. anyway, bye trans people who are on their path to their own happiness completely separate from my own. no one asked you l o l
i feel like since detransition it's been hard to trust myself to make decisions for myself. your doubt and worry makes total sense to me; you just recently stopped T and it was a decision you obviously thought would be forever and permanent and now that you're going back on it, how can you know whether you'll regret this decision too or want to go back to male again, is that it?
there's no rush of course. covid is making everything difficult to parse. luckily for beard purposes, despite the dysphoria mine is causing me as well i'm finding comfort in it being suddenly very socially encouraged to wear masks and cover that part of your face. take advantage of this and do your best to feel out social situations still to reassure yourself you're making the right decision this time around before you do anything permanent. no one can judge you by smth they can't see.
Of course a therapist is a good idea as well. Just know you're totally not alone in having wildly uncertain thoughts about this wildly undocumented, emotionally and physically uncomfortable process. you're doing better than you think 🤞
idk how to make a text and image post or if you even can on reddit, my bad.
Around 6 months off of T i noticed that there was a fuzzy layer of shorter hairs growing in over my whole head. It took awhile for them to grow long enough for me to show off appropriately, but I realized these are not just baby hairs and are an entirely new layer of hair coming in. I started growing my hair when I stopped T and haven't had it cut or dyed or anything since so this is a good showcase of what may happen to your hair thickness back on estrogen. The rest of my hair is grown halfway down my chest right now.
I wanted to post this especially because I've seen some antsy detransitioners here that think 2-3 months off of T without changes means they're never going to happen and they're doomed from T. Of course everyone is different, but this post is a reminder to give yourself time! It will be a year or more before this layer of hair is grown to my current length, and things do take time.
You didn't mention your age now but it sounds like you're going to have plenty of time to grow back into your estrogen and your adult female body! even without breasts, it'll all come back to you. i hope it happens sooner rather than later, but it's great to know your parents are supportive and enthusiastic as well. you can focus on healing now!
just don't let the new perspective you've gained about your old appearance being beautiful fall short of reassuring yourself now that you can still be beautiful. your bones didn't change underneath the hormones, your estrogen-plumpness will come back but your face is still the same. be kind to yourself! makeup and growing your hair back in will do wonders :)!
implants aren't entirely the only way to have reconstruction. i saw a cool surgery posted about on here awhile back that was entirely done with fat grafts! i can't remember what it was called but i've spent time googling double mastectomy reconstruction for breast cancer patients and found some varying options. most of them seem harsh though especially when you're doing reconstruction with no breast tissue
I realized that I was never 'a man' because i came to believe that gender really is a construct and the ideas of 'being a man' i was grasping onto we're really a means to escape my own physicality as a woman and to escape my present environment in life because i was struggling with self acceptance and undiagnosed OCD and depression. i was medically transitioned (and relatively happy!) for 5 years before stopping T. in the end it was being introduced into all-female social circles and missing being one of the girls. physically being masc and being read male was ok for me, i was never super triggered by my appearance either way because i like androgyny and clearly i've had dysmorphia either way BUT it was the social aspect of transition that sealed the deal of detransition for me
as soon as i saw this news i kinda ran over to this sub. i obviously know nothing about elliot but it struck me as really strange that after being a strong butch woman for so long that they'd come out as trans. it feels wrong and idk what to think about my feelings in that way. i don't want to be dismissive of trans people in any way because i believe transgenderism is real but. this one has me feeling like i need to roll my eyes.
No definitely not, and i don't understand its pervasiveness because trans people love butlers theory of performativity where gender is regarded as a social construct, but then claim they were born the wrong gender. If it's a social construct then it's not something you're born with. 'born with' ideology, in sexuality and gender both, in my opinion, are largely just defence mechanisms against a society that is willing to permit what they see as intrinsic 'defects' of the mind but would never be open enough to accept people skewing their concept of normality if they believed those people had a choice to not do that.
yeah for sure...i mean i kinda feel crazy and i don't have a ton of mental health issues (ocd and depression probably played a part) but still, idk how i was so sure i was a man for 4 years and all of a sudden realized i was just masking all my issues with this. super weird and makes it kinda hard to trust your own mind and decisions but i feel you on needing to be high 24/7. i hope you're looking into therapy and medication 🤞 just know you're not actually crazy or out of your mind or anything; culture also has a huge role to play in our misguided decisions to transition and not all of your conclusions are a result of your own mind going on the fritz