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Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments display a consistent, personal narrative of medical detransition (cessation of testosterone), emotional regret, and practical advice for others, all of which are highly specific and align with common experiences shared by genuine detransitioners. The tone is passionate and supportive, which is expected given the context of the subreddit.
About me
I started identifying as trans at 16 because I was deeply uncomfortable with my female body and thought transitioning would solve my depression. I took testosterone for two years and planned for surgery, which I'm now relieved I never had. After stopping hormones, the hardest part has been coping with the shame and regret over the permanent changes to my body. I've come to realize that you can't change your sex, and that my real issues were separate from being female. Now, I'm focusing on moving forward by getting back to my natural cycle and finding new ways to feel comfortable as a woman.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and now detransition has been a difficult lesson. I started identifying as trans when I was very young, around 16. I was deeply uncomfortable with my body, especially when I went through puberty and developed breasts. I hated them and wanted them gone. I also struggled a lot with depression and anxiety, and looking back, I realize I had OCD-like thoughts where I would obsess over my gender and body.
I think a lot of my feelings were influenced by what I saw online. I spent a lot of time in online communities where transitioning was presented as the only solution for anyone who didn't fit perfectly into gender stereotypes. I also had friends who were transitioning, and it felt like the right path for me, too. I believed that if I changed my body, all my other problems would disappear.
I socially transitioned first, changing my name and pronouns. Then, when I was 18, I started taking testosterone. I was on T for about two years. I never got top surgery, but I desperately wanted it and was planning for it. I'm so relieved now that I didn't go through with it.
Coming off testosterone was a big decision. I've been off it for several months now. Physically, the first few weeks were okay. I had some hot flashes, a bit of nausea and dizziness, but nothing too severe. I’ve been feeling some strange sensations in my uterus, which is confusing but I’m hoping my body is just figuring things out on its own since I didn’t have a hysterectomy. I’m not taking any estrogen; I want to see if my natural cycle returns by itself.
Mentally, stopping hormones wasn't the hard part. The hard part is dealing with the shame and regret. I feel like a fool for participating in what I now see as a medical experiment. I feel a lot of fear about what I’ve done to my body permanently, like my deepened voice. I’ve been working on my voice by following YouTube tutorials and practicing, and it has lightened up a bit, which gives me hope.
The biggest change for me was a shift in my thinking. I had a harsh realization that even though I might not like being female, I will always be female. I realized that you can never truly change your sex. Testosterone and surgeries can alter your appearance, but they don't change the fundamental reality of your body. How you like to present yourself—your clothes, your hair, your makeup—doesn't make you male or female. If a woman likes masculine clothes and short hair, she's still a woman. I wish I had understood that sooner.
Telling my friends and family that I was detransitioning was scary, but it went better than I expected. I just told them honestly that I had made a mistake, that I was too young to really know what I wanted, and that I regretted it. I asked them to call me by my birth name again. They were all very supportive and actually seemed relieved.
Now, I’m trying to move forward. The first few weeks after my decision were really rough, with a lot of crying and panic. Journaling helped me a lot; I wrote down all my thoughts unfiltered. I’m trying to focus on other things, like getting exercise and spending time outdoors. I’m even experimenting with makeup and shaping my eyebrows to feel more feminine in a way that feels right for me now.
My thoughts on gender now are simple: it’s not something you need to focus on so much. Getting HRT or surgeries won't cure underlying issues like depression, anxiety, or OCD. My advice to anyone questioning is to explore why you feel the way you do in therapy first. You can keep your trans identity socially while you figure things out, but don't take hormones or get surgeries unless you are 100% certain and have accepted all the permanent effects. What’s done is done, and you can’t go back, but you have the power to move forward and work with what you have now. It does get better.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Started socially transitioning, changed name and pronouns. |
| 18 | Started taking testosterone (T). |
| 20 | Stopped taking testosterone. Realized I had made a mistake and began detransitioning. |
| 20 | Came out to friends and family as detransitioned, switched back to birth name. |
Top Comments by /u/kaldoreii:
One harsh thing that made me realize that "questioning my gender" is kind of dumb, is that even though you might not like being female, you will always BE female. You will never become male. And a male can never become female. No matter how much HRT or surgeries you go through. It's just something that you ARE and you can't change that.
How you like to present yourself, like clothing, makeup or lack thereof, hairstyles, accessoaries etc, does not make you male or female. If you like masculine clothes, then wear that. If you like short hair, then have that. That does not take away from you being female and/or a woman. My advice is don't focus so much on your gender, get some help for those OCD-thoughts, and focus on other things. Getting HRT or surgeries won't cure your other issues.
I honestly just told them that I made a mistake. I was too young to actually know what I wanted, and I regret doing it. Just told them that this is a process, I am going to change back to my birth name, and I want you to call me that from now on, but if you mess up, it's ok and I understand. No harm done.
They were all very happy for me, and I actually think they are all a bit relieved. :)
The fact that you already have changed your mind and detransitioned before should be an indicator. I'd say that you can keep your trans identity SOCIALLY, while you figure things out. But for your own sake, don't take hormones unless you feel 100% certain. And look up all the PERMANENT and irreversable effects. If you feel uncomfortable with them, don't do it! Go to therapy, and work out if there are other underlying issues that is causing this.
If you decide to identify as a woman, you don't have to become barbie. You can still wear mens clothing and have short hair, if that is what you want.
The first few weeks were really rough for me too. Lots of crying. And panicking. Something that helped me a lot was to journal. Journal every day, and every time I felt bad. Just write down your thoughts, and be completely unfiltered.
Allow yourself to feel sad, angry and grief. But also, occupy yourself with other things. Try to get in some exercise, spend time outdoors.
What is done is done, you can't go back. You can only move forward and work with what you have right now. It will suck for a bit, but you have the power to change that.
It will get better eventually. <3
Thank you so much for the insight. I will keep that in mind when I'm talking to the doctor! And yes, it's so individual, from what I gather. Really makes it all so frustrating, when there are no real definitive answers to all my questions... I feel like a fool for participating in this medical experiment.
As someone else said, shaping my eyebrows (it's an ongoing process for me, I am scared to pluck too much haha) helped me look more feminine! You already LOOK feminine though. But if you want to enhance that even further, maybe think about thinning your eyebrows just a little bit?
I am experimenting with makeup myself right now, it's so hard! My tip for you is just that - experiment! Try out colors you like and you think might suit you, and just go to town with it. :)
I have been off T for a little over a month now. So far, I haven't really felt anything at all. Very small things, like hot flashes (rarely), nausea and dizziness. But they aren't constant, it just happens for a bit, and then it goes away. I am also starting to feel som kind of ~activity~ in my uterus, but I have no idea what it is.
Mentally I am doing well, I have not experienced any mood swings or brain fog. But that might be because I am in a stable place mentally, detransition aside. The only thing I feel is shame and regret for putting myself through this, and I can feel fear for what I've done to my body, but that has nothing to do with going off T.
I myself am not taking estrogen, I want to try and let my body work it out on it's own, since I haven't had a hysterectomy.
I'm just following tutorials on youtube, and playing around with my voice as much as I can, until I can get professional help in the future. It has helped for me, my voice has lightened a lot! I still have a long way to go, but for now it does feel better and better. :)