This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The user's narrative is highly detailed, emotionally complex, and internally consistent over time. They describe a personal, multi-year journey with testosterone, surgery, detransition, and the specific social and emotional challenges that followed. Their language is nuanced, shows self-reflection, and includes very specific, non-clichéd details (e.g., choosing a unisex name as a contingency, the awkwardness of dating post-mastectomy, the specific timeline of their sex drive returning). The passion and criticism they express are consistent with the genuine anger and hurt that can result from this experience.
About me
I was born female and started questioning my gender as a teenager, heavily influenced by online communities and my college LGBT club that told me I was trans. I began testosterone at 18 and had a double mastectomy at 20, but I started to feel completely alienated from myself and knew I wasn't a man. A botched surgery led to a crisis that made me stop everything and begin my detransition. I lost many friends and now live as a gender non-conforming woman, though my deeper voice and appearance often make people mistake me for a trans woman. I regret my transition and am still working through the bitterness and permanent changes.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was complicated and, looking back, I feel like I was influenced by a lot of things I didn't understand at the time. I was born female, and as a teenager, I started feeling really uncomfortable. I never had a strong sense of who I was, and when I found online communities like Tumblr around 2012, I was surrounded by people who said that if you questioned your gender at all, you were probably trans. This idea, that I was finally finding my "true self," really appealed to me. I also went to a college with an LGBT club that was mostly trans people, and when I talked about my feelings, they all just told me, "You're trans!"
I started identifying as a trans man, and shortly after I turned 18, I began testosterone injections. I was on T for three years. The changes happened fast. My voice dropped, my face got oily, I broke out with acne, and I became really irritable and moody. I started passing as a man very quickly and lived "stealth," meaning no one knew I was trans. But I started to feel alienated from myself. I looked like a man, but deep down, I knew I wasn't one. I hated the way men treated me and each other; it felt like I was lying to everyone, including myself.
When I was 20, I got a double mastectomy. The results weren't great aesthetically, so I had a second surgery to correct it, but it was botched really badly. That crisis actually led to me starting to question everything, which eventually led to my detransition. I stopped testosterone in 2017.
After I stopped, it took a long time for my sex drive to come back, maybe a year. I also had a hard time with my therapist when I started expressing doubts. I’d tell her that the label of being a man didn't fit me anymore, and she would insist that I just had a narrow view of manhood and that I was definitely trans. It felt like she couldn't even entertain the idea that I might not be trans.
A big part of my realization was that I started feeling drawn to women, but not as a man. I wanted to be around them as a woman myself. I realized I identified with women more than I ever thought I did before transition. I also think internalized issues played a role. I had a lot of sexual fantasies about being a man or having a penis for as long as I can remember, and I was really into yaoi and BL content. I think things like autoandrophilia might have been a factor for me, even though it's a controversial topic.
When I decided to detransition, I lost a lot of my trans friends. At first, I told people I didn't regret transitioning because I was trying to keep those friendships, but it didn't work. The truth is, I do regret it. I'm bitter about it, which I know isn't healthy, but I can't afford therapy to work through it. It's frustrating when people say that detransitioners were "never really trans," because I absolutely had dysphoria, and I've mostly gotten over it since detransitioning. The hypocrisy in the community bothers me a lot.
Now, even though I know I'm a woman, it's still hard. The testosterone made permanent changes. I have a deeper voice and a more masculine appearance, so people often assume I'm a trans woman. It feels like being misgendered, just in a different way. I'm a gender non-conforming woman—I have short hair and masculine traits—and society seems to have a hard time accepting that a woman can look like me. Sometimes I feel pressure to just call myself nonbinary to make it easier for others, but I know I'm a woman.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teenager (around 14-15) | Started feeling discomfort and questioning my gender. |
| Around 2012-2014 (ages 16-18) | Heavily influenced by online communities (Tumblr) and college LGBT club that affirmed I was trans. |
| 18 | Started testosterone injections. |
| 20 | Had a double mastectomy (top surgery). |
| 20 | Had a second, corrective chest surgery that was botched, leading to a personal crisis. |
| 20 | Stopped testosterone after being on it for three years. This was in 2017. |
| 20-26 (Present) | Process of detransition and learning to live again as a woman. |
Top Comments by /u/kanalisieren:
On the female side of things, while I wouldn't say it was a primary reason to transition, I had a lot of sexual fantasies about being a man or just having a penis. I've had those kinds of fantasies for pretty much as long as I remember, and I was really into yaoi and BL and that sort of thing (like how a lot of trans women like anime and hentai). But yeah, autogynephilia and possibly even autoandrophilia are real things, and are worthy of a bit of research. Though as VaperCapers says, it's very controversial on all sides.
This honestly just kind of hurts. Does this person really think that I either made my experiences up or actually went through them only to further someone's political agenda? Like maybe I'm just in a bad spot right now, but this... sucks. It's not even funny like I usually find outlandish claims like these.
I've had similar thoughts. While I haven't had any actual hookups, I do usually note in my Tinder/whatever profile that I've had a double mastectomy and thus have no breasts. I usually go for a bit of a sardonic tone, like "if you like boobs, you might want to look elsewhere..." Stuff like that. I mean, it depends on your personality and how you like to present yourself, but I definitely just recommend being upfront and honest about it before you actually get in bed with him.
Not Reddit, but Tumblr back in 2012-2014. I had barely considered transness until I found Tumblr, which had (has?) a huge trans population. And like you said, that idea that if you have any questions about your gender whatsoever, you are definitely trans, was very pervasive. Around that time I also went to a college with an LGBT club that was mostly trans folks, and after talking to them about my various feelings, all I ever heard from them was "You're trans!! You're trans!!!"
Add that together with the fact that I've never had a firm grasp on my sense of identity, and the promises that transition means you're finally becoming your "true self" were pretty much what did it for me.
I also detransitioned with the help of radical feminist stuff (even though I don't really subscribe to it anymore), and I just didn't mention that stuff to my friends. I think as soon as you say anything related to that or gender critical or anything, they will drop you immediately. But when I just said something like "I realized I'm not a dude," they were like 'yeah ok gender is fluid, I'm glad you found yourself.' That sort of thing.
That said I still lost a few friends but it's bound to happen with an insular community like the trans community.
I was able to live stealth for the majority of my time as a transgender man, and I hated the way men treated me and each other. Eventually I found myself drawn more and more to women, which was odd because before I was trans I thought it was difficult to relate to other women. But eventually I realized that I identified with them more and more and wanted to be around them, not as a man, but as a woman. Suddenly being trans didn't make sense anymore.
That's the sad thing though, is my last shot of T was in 2017. I was a pretty androgynous girl growing up, and the T just pushed me squarely into manly territory.
But yeah, talking to people is so awkward when they don't immediately know what to call you... I just don't talk about it unless people bring it up, which is also extremely awkward.
I was actually on T for three years as well before I detransitioned. I felt the exact same thing, alienated from myself, looking so much like a man but knowing deep down inside that I wasn't. I don't want to say that it's going to be the easiest thing to do because I think that's a lie, but it's absolutely worth it. It's been about another three years since I desisted and I'm feeling more like myself than I ever had when I was on HRT.
I know I don't post much in this subreddit but if you need someone to chat with, let me know.
Interestingly, when I began expressing my doubts about being transgender to my therapist, she insisted that it was just because I had a narrow definition of what a man is (I was FTM). Whenever I tried to express that I didn't feel like the label fit anymore, she would always shut it down and tell me that of course I was trans.
I don't doubt that she had my best interests in mind, and was perhaps trying to talk me out of what she assumed was negative self-talk or something, but it really gave the impression that she couldn't suggest that if I was feeling that way, then maybe I wasn't trans after all. It was as if no matter what she had to affirm my transness.
I don't know if that answers your question exactly but it might be worth noting.
If I'm being honest, this sounds way over-the-top. I don't think people are going to take it seriously.
It's well-written, don't get me wrong, but I feel like it reads too much like it's trying to shock and disturb the reader. I don't even know what this is supposed to represent, which is maybe because it's out of context, I'll admit.
If you're writing a personal essay, I'd shift to something more stark and grounded in reality. If you're writing a fictional piece that's meant to evoke dark feelings, then this current writing style is more suited to that.
I really hope this doesn't come off as too assholeish because I really don't mean it to be, it's very evocative and the metaphors are good. I guess it really just depends more on who the audience is and what your intent is.