genderaffirming.ai 

Reddit user /u/kanelbulle_and_cum's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 20 -> Detransitioned: 28
female
low self-esteem
internalised homophobia
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
trauma
depression
influenced online
influenced by friends
got top surgery
now infertile
retransition
became religious
started as non-binary
anxiety
benefited from non-affirming therapy
autistic
ocd
had religious background
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account does not show clear red flags of being inauthentic. It appears to be a genuine person.

Explanation:

The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and evolving personal viewpoint. The user shares specific personal details (OCD, ADHD, age, crocheting), offers empathetic advice, and shows internal reflection (e.g., "My own personal opinion is a bit harsher..."). The language is natural, with varied sentence structure and personal anecdotes. The passion and strong opinions are consistent with a genuine detransitioner/desister who has experienced harm.

About me

I started presenting as male in my early twenties, heavily influenced by online communities and my own struggles with mental health. I took testosterone and had surgery, believing it was an escape from my unhappiness, but the relief was only temporary. I realized I was running from my problems, including trauma, neurodivergence, and deep self-hatred, not from being female. After stepping away from those online spaces, I found healing through therapy that addressed my root issues and by connecting with other women. I am now detransitioning, learning to accept my body with its scars, and I see my past actions as a painful form of coping.

My detransition story

My journey with gender started from a place of deep discomfort and confusion. I was diagnosed with OCD as a child and ADHD as a teenager, and looking back, I believe I am also on the autism spectrum. These conditions played a huge role in my experience. My mental health was always a struggle, marked by anxiety, depression, and very low self-esteem.

I began to present as male in my early twenties. I was heavily influenced by what I saw online and by the friends I had at the time. It felt like an escape from myself and the things I was struggling with. I hated my body, especially my breasts, and I believed that changing my appearance would fix the deep unhappiness I felt. I took testosterone for several years and eventually got top surgery.

For a while, I thought it was the solution. But the relief was temporary. I started to realize that I had been using transition as a way to run from my problems instead of dealing with them. I engaged in hookup culture, seeking validation for the body I had created, but it only left me feeling more empty and alone. It never filled the hole inside me.

My turning point came when I stepped away from the internet and those online communities. I started going to therapy that wasn't just about affirming my transition but about digging into the root causes of my pain. I discovered that a lot of my discomfort was related to trauma, my neurodivergence, and a deep-seated hatred for myself, not because I was born female. I also had to confront some internalized homophobia that I hadn't dealt with.

I found a lot of healing through my faith. Letting Jesus into my life helped me make sense of things, but I had to learn to be kind to myself and not swing from one extreme to another. I started doing simple things like joining a crochet club to be around other women in a supportive environment. Getting out of my own head and focusing on community and helping others was crucial. The intrusive thoughts that had plagued me for so long began to get quieter.

I now see my transition as a form of self-harm, a way I tried to cope with unbearable pain. I don't believe it's a sin; I think it comes from a place of suffering, much like suicide or euthanasia. But I do have regrets. I regret not addressing my underlying mental health issues first. I regret the permanent changes I made to my body, and I am now infertile because of the hormones I took. I am learning to accept my body again, with all its scars and imperfections.

Today, I am detransitioning and living as a woman again. My thoughts on gender are that it's often a symptom of deeper issues, not the cause. For me, it was about escapism. I benefited greatly from non-affirming therapy that helped me work through my OCD, trauma, and self-esteem issues. I am on a path of healing now, learning to love and respect the person I am.

Age Event
Child Diagnosed with OCD
Teen Diagnosed with ADHD
Early 20s Began socially transitioning, influenced by online communities and friends
Mid 20s Started taking testosterone
26 Had top surgery
Late 20s Stopped testosterone, began detransitioning and non-affirming therapy

Top Comments by /u/kanelbulle_and_cum:

13 comments • Posting since December 26, 2021
Reddit user kanelbulle_and_cum (desisted female) comments on a post about post-transition intimacy, advising against seeking validation through hookup culture and emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance and meaningful relationships.
24 pointsJun 27, 2022
View on Reddit

I'm so sorry. What he said was not nice at all.

I also engaged in hookup culture seeking for validation after what I had done to my body.

But let me tell you, it won't fill the hole you have. You need to seek meaningful relationships, you can start by being friends with yourself :) treat yourself. Compliment yourself... I hope you find someone who accepts your body, with each scar, each "imperfection"...but first you need to accept yourself.

Reddit user kanelbulle_and_cum (desisted female) explains that no woman genuinely finds the "sissy" fetish attractive and advises seeking therapy to find its root cause for a meaningful relationship.
17 pointsMay 4, 2022
View on Reddit

Very brave of you to admit this.

I can just tell you that no woman likes a "sissy".

There are some who pretend to, for money. But no woman finds it hot. If you ever want to have a meaningful relationship with one, you need to go to therapy and find the root cause of this fetish.

Reddit user kanelbulle_and_cum (desisted female) comments on the link between gender dysphoria and other conditions, citing her own OCD, ADHD, and being on the spectrum.
16 pointsJan 7, 2022
View on Reddit

I'm not a profesional, but:

I am diagnosed with OCD since i was a child, and ADHD as a teen (am pushing 30 now and I am AFAB presenting female now)

So yes, I think it is kind of related. My therapist says I'm on the spectrum too.

This might sound harsh but I haven't met a trans woman who wasn't very traumatized or was narcissistic, or a trans man who didn't have either undiagnosed OCD (I recognize the symptoms bc that's what I have) or was severely traumatized or all of the above AND on the spectrum.

Reddit user kanelbulle_and_cum (desisted female) explains what she looks for in a male partner, stating it's stability, ambition, and a funny personality—not a "Chad"—and that she would lose all respect for a partner who enjoyed being degraded in drag.
15 pointsMay 4, 2022
View on Reddit

I uhhhh don't really agree with your incel vocabulary, I don't think all women like "chads".

I have dated women too, but what I looked for in men is: stability, ambition, funny personality...

I make more money working from home than my current partner does getting his hands dirty in a dangerous job, and even though he doesn't feel conventionally attractive, I think he is very handsome, but he does not look like the meme depiction of a Chad.

It would just make me vomit if he liked to be degraded while dressing as a clownish drag queen. I would lose all respect for him and see him as mentally ill.

Reddit user kanelbulle_and_cum (desisted female) encourages Spanish detransitioner to share her eloquent story to help address the lack of detransition voices in Spain.
14 pointsApr 7, 2022
View on Reddit

If cou are comfortable with it, I think you should spread your story in Spanish too.

There are not enough detrans voices talking about this in Spain.

Pareces una persona muy elocuente y tu historia merece ser compartida. Espero que a partir de ahora te sientas bien contigo misma ❤

Reddit user kanelbulle_and_cum (desisted female) advises against making a public detransition announcement unless it feels right, suggesting to talk to a therapist and delete social media if your job doesn't depend on it.
12 pointsDec 26, 2021
View on Reddit

Only do it if it makes you feel good. If you have a therapist, talk to them about this. If you are asking if it is a good idea, it's bc you probably have doubts about it.

You do not owe an explanation to anyone. You do not have to perform for anyone. Be yourself, and honestly, if your job doesn't depend on it, delete social media.

Reddit user kanelbulle_and_cum (desisted female) comments on a detransitioner's post, advising grace, community, and therapy while cautioning against religious extremism.
9 pointsSep 14, 2022
View on Reddit

Congratulations for letting Jesus into your life.

But now, give yourself some grace. You seem to have suffered a lot, and as others have pointed out, it seems like you are in desperate need for community.

Now please, be careful and don't go from one extreme to another. Give yourself the same kindness you would give others, that is the Christ way.

Religion shouldn't cause you stress, it should just be a way to make sense out of things and lead your way. That's it.

Take care of yourself, find the community you need and please, go to therapy. You can be masculine woman, or keep pretending to be a man if that makes you more comfortable. Just be kind to yourself and others ❤

Reddit user kanelbulle_and_cum (desisted female) comments that being trans is a mental health issue, comparing it to dyeing one's hair and stating it is not addressed in the Bible.
6 pointsSep 14, 2022
View on Reddit

Dyeing your hair doesn't give you a pass to pretend to be someone else.

People don't say "I was born with the wrong hair color" , or " I identify as brunette and whoever points out my blonde roots is misshairing me"

There's no mention of being trans on the Bible because there are very few mentions of mental health or mental illnesses.

Reddit user kanelbulle_and_cum (desisted female) comments that unbearable gender dysphoria makes transition a non-sin, similar to suicide or euthanasia, and shares that therapy helped them overcome it.
4 pointsSep 14, 2022
View on Reddit

I don't think it is sin if you transition because dysphoria is so unbearable. I think the same about suicide or euthanasia. Pain is so unbearable, that you would do anything to stop it.

Of course, some people don't share my opinion.

You need to be nice to yourself and others, and a way to do so is to go to therapy, learn where this dysphoria comes from, work on yourself, and get healthy.

I have almost completely overcome my dysphoria that way.

Reddit user kanelbulle_and_cum (desisted female) comments on a parenting post, advising the best thing for their kids is to get away from the internet and stop visiting transition-affirming subreddits.
4 pointsJun 1, 2022
View on Reddit

You are a better parent than most already, because you want to do what's best for them and are giving it a lot of thought.

But I think the best you can do for your kids is getting away from the internet, or at least stop visiting subreddits that affirm your need to transition.