This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments show:
- Personal, empathetic engagement over a two-year period.
- Consistent perspective focused on offering comfort by comparing a detransitioner's experience to other medical conditions (e.g., cancer, PCOS).
- Plausible personal detail (mentioning facial hair from PCOS without having been on T) that aligns with the definition of a desister.
The tone is passionate and supportive, which is consistent with a genuine member of the detrans/desister community.
About me
I started identifying as trans at 18, believing it would solve my deep discomfort with my female body and my struggles with depression. I took testosterone and had surgery to remove my breasts, which brought relief for a while, but my underlying mental health issues never truly went away. I stopped everything in my mid-twenties and was filled with regret over the permanent changes, especially losing my breasts. I now see I was a woman trying to escape pain and societal pressures, not a man. I'm learning to accept my altered body and live authentically as a female, focusing on healing my mind instead of changing my body.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition has been complicated and deeply personal. I started identifying as non-binary and then as a trans man in my late teens, around 18. I think a lot of it came from a place of deep discomfort with my body, especially during and after puberty. I really hated my breasts and felt like they sexualized me in a way I couldn't handle. I also struggled with depression, anxiety, and very low self-esteem, and I now see that transitioning felt like a solution, a way to escape from all those feelings. I spent a lot of time online, and I was definitely influenced by the communities I was in and by friends who were also exploring their gender.
I took testosterone for several years and had top surgery to remove my breasts. At the time, I was absolutely convinced it was the right thing to do and that it would fix my problems. For a while, it did make me feel better. I felt a sense of relief from the intense body discomfort. But over time, I started to realize that the underlying issues—the depression, the anxiety, the feeling of not being comfortable in my own skin—were still there. They had just changed shape.
I began to detransition in my mid-twenties. Stopping testosterone was a big decision, and it brought a lot of new fears. I worried about my voice being permanently too low, about my body not becoming soft or feminine again, and about the permanent changes from surgery. I felt a lot of regret about my top surgery, especially. I was sad that I had made a permanent change to my body for a reason that no longer felt true. I mourned the loss of my breasts and felt like an important part of my female body was gone.
I’ve had to work really hard to reframe how I see my body. I think about women who have had mastectomies for breast cancer and how they are still completely women. That perspective has been helpful for me. My body tells the story of my life, including this difficult chapter. The self-harm scars are a part of that story, too—proof that I went through some dark times but made it through.
I don’t think I was ever truly a man. I think I was a woman who was deeply uncomfortable with the expectations and sexualization that came with being female, and I was also dealing with mental health struggles that I mistakenly thought transition would solve. My thoughts on gender now are that it's incredibly complex, and for me, medical transition was a drastic solution to problems that needed psychological care instead.
I do have regrets about physically transitioning, specifically about the permanent surgeries and the fact that I am now infertile. I wish I had dealt with my underlying mental health and self-esteem issues first. But I also try to have compassion for my past self. She was doing the best she could with the pain she was in and the information she had at the time.
Now, I am learning to live as a woman again. It’s a process of accepting the permanent changes, like my deeper voice and my flat chest, and integrating them into who I am now. I’m focusing on my mental health and building a life that feels authentic to me, without needing to change my body to fit in or feel okay.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 18 | 2017 | Started identifying as non-binary, began social transition |
| 19 | 2018 | Started testosterone therapy |
| 21 | 2020 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy) |
| 25 | 2024 | Stopped testosterone, began detransition |
| 25 | 2024 | Currently living as a female, working on acceptance |
Top Comments by /u/keylimepie1123:
Hey… (please excuse formatting, I’m on mobile) I went and looked at your account and honestly your voice doesn’t strike me as too low/changed by T. Like while it might be lower than it would have been for you specifically before T, it sounds well within cis female limits. Your face looks soft (very pretty!). Being softer and having more curves is something that as you are off T longer is definitely possible for you. Also, plenty of cis women are not overly curvy or soft, and that doesn’t make them any less beautiful. I’m really sorry about your chest as I recognize a certain importance of breasts in terms of traditionally female sexuality. I’m sorry that the choices you made for a past self do not align with your current self— all we can do is have compassion for our past selves. You can, if you like, undergo breast reconstruction surgery, and while sensitivity might be different, it would give you curves that might make you feel more comfortable. And again, even breast reconstruction/augmentation is well within the norm, whether for breast cancer survivors, trans women, people who just want larger breasts… while you are so incredibly valid in your sadness surrounding the choice to have your original breasts removed for a reason that no longer applies, there are options for you to have breasts again and plenty of people make that same choice for different reasons, but functionally end up with the same result that they find satisfying. You are not ugly and you do not look like a man, although I know that my telling you has no bearing on how you might feel. Your ex boyfriend sounds like an absolutely toxic person. Your body hair, your choice. I personally know (and know of) lots of hairy women, even women with beards who have PCOS or other natural hormonal variations, that again, functionally, end up creating physical changes similar to some of the effects of T. I myself have a significant (noticeable) amount of facial hair despite never being on T due to PCOS. People who truly love you won’t care, but if you want to shave it for yourself, you can, as I sometimes do. Whatever YOU want, but if someone makes you feel badly about it, that’s on them. You are not so far off the norm of biological female-ness that you were destroyed. (Even bottom growth— cis women can have large clits or go on steroids for, say, bodybuilding, and end up with changes in that region— maybe looking up porn about larger female anatomy would help in that regard.) and self harm scars are a mark of making it through some shit. When I see people with those kinds of scars, I see someone who at some point wore their struggle on their skin, and I respect their bravery in showing that and in having made it through some really dark times. You are a beautiful soul doing the best you can in this life, and you deserve love and respect. I am glad this person is an ex boyfriend for your sake. You deserve better, and better is out there. Please feel free to DM me to talk more. I am sending good vibes your way. 🫶
I relateeeee to this so much. I am in the same boat. I hope it is possible. Some things I like about being female include: won’t go bald, have wider range of clothing options, get closer (platonic) relationships w women than I would otherwise... idk, some of these feel shallow or insufficient sometimes, but it’s something. Would be happy to talk more with you if you want! Feel free to message me.
To make you feel perhaps a bit better: I know a cis guy who lost his testicles due to an accident when he was 17 and also there’s a YouTuber named Furious Pete who had cancer and had to get his removed so he’s on T now. So it’s like, a part of your history and your situation is different/unique but that’s ok.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this :( I know it sucks and I am sending a virtual hug. ❤️
One thing I think of sometimes is women who had breast cancer and had their breasts removed. And how they are still women despite that (aka are women who have no breasts bc of surgery for different reasons than transition) and some get reconstruction, some don’t. I saw this one woman who had no nipples and she got a really beautiful tattoo of flowers in their place.. I don’t know if this particular perspective is helpful but I hope it is! No matter what your body is yours and yours alone and it tells the story of your life and keeps you alive ❤️
Hey there,
I found this: https://www.fertilitysanantonio.com/the-use-of-clomid-in-men/
Looks like 25 mg/day is standard, or 50 mg every other day. It might just take some time to see effects (this site says 3-4 months) I’ll keep looking around a bit to see if I can find more detail for you.
Edit: the site below recommends 25 mg/day as well. If I were you, that’s what I’d go with!
https://txfertility.com/fertility-treatments/clomid-for-men/