gender dysphoria is most commonly the result of misogyny and usually related to some sort of trauma. it's not the same as trans ideology. i experience it myself and there are ways to deal with it other than transition. i am certain that i won't retransition, because i'm working through my gender dysphoria in therapy, and because i recognise that i am female no matter what.

that's exactly how i felt. in a room alone with no other people, I'd want to be male. i had to ask myself why, learn that 'feeling like a male' isn't a real thing, unpack my dysphoria in therapy, and start understanding that whether i passed as male or not i would still be female. dysphoria is horrible, and transitioning is admittedly easier than working through it, but imo it's worth it to be at peace with yourself. your two options don't contradict here - you will have to find a way to be okay with yourself and your sex, whether you choose to transition or not

you shouldn't have to force anything. you do NOT have to "look or act" like a woman to be female. your sex won't change whether you transition or not (i did, and regret it, you might not). you never have to be anything other than who you are.

T carries so many health issues that can mess you up and providers often pressure people into it. i was in exactly your position, came to detrans subs asking the same question years ago, and i couldn't find an answer that made sense to me. everyone was saying I'd always be a girl, but i didn't feel like one! i didn't want to act/dress "like a girl", be seen as lesser and weak, mocked by boys for "wanting to be a boy. i definitely didn't have some innate sense of gender that told me i was a girl. what i mistook for a "male feeling of gender" was actually just dysphoria about being female, and wishing i WAS a man. now i know that nobody really feels like a man or a woman, it's based on stereotypes, and there are so many other options to heal my sex dysphoria and reconcile with my body. whatever you decide, i wish you the best, and please make sure you have a support circle around you while you go through this <3 what helped me most was being around other detrans and masculine women, in a space where i won't be judged or "treated like a woman". maybe you could find something similar?

full disclosure - i was, and still am, severely dysphoric, so what would have been best for me might not be applicable to your sibling.

i was diagnosed with GD at that age, and people throwing she/her in my face just solidified my stubbornness, triggered my dysphoria and made me retreat further into the same "accepting" online spaces where your sister likely picked up her trans identity.

what would actually have helped is if somebody had sat me down and said 'okay, i understand what you're feeling is very real, i understand you don't want to be a woman', and asked me what being a woman meant, asked me what being a man meant, and gently encouraged me to understand that the only difference between male and female human beings should be our bodies, and everything else is a result of restrictive gender roles that i didn't have to conform to.

arguing back against your sister or saying anything she could percieve as 'transphobic' will likely drive her deeeper into the trans mentality and even damage your relationship; personally, what would have helped me is someone validating my feelings but encouraging me to question and understand what gender actually meant, instead of repeating buzzwords i'd heard online about some deep-rooted spiritual identity.

encourage her to express herself however she wants, but to think more critically about the world around her and what these concepts actually mean. let her know that you'll always be here for her and support her no matter how she wants to express herself or who she wants to be, and try to gently question the rhetoric she's being fed online without butting heads or directly challenging her identity.

it's more than likely something she'll grow out of, but social media seems to compound the identity phases every teenager goes through into something much more serious - restricting her internet access or telling her to get off the phone will probably do more harm than good, instead try to provide her with more opportunities to do stuff offline (hang out with her, go out shopping or to the movies etc, invite her to run errands with you or do crafts) so she doesn't feel the need to bury herself in online communities all the time.

i'm wishing you and your sister the best <3

the experience of "dysphoria" is real, or as you called it, extreme sex based distress. i don't see what the problem is with the word dysphoria itself. the problem is that people are being convinced dysphoria is innate and can only be solved with transition.

yes, that's true... but the solution is to teach people HRT and transition is NOT the cure to dysphoria. telling people dysphoria doesn't exist to begin with doesn't help, denying people's real emotions makes them more likely to reject your viewpoint.

yes, they've definitely become less prominent! the key for me was working on my feelings of "standing out", for being a lesbian and disabled, being around other gnc woman who'd also felt like outsiders their whole lives and realising it was ok to feel that way. at first my detransition followed the same patterns as my transition, shifting goalposts and never looking how i wanted "enough", but unpacking the cause of it really helped. tldr; i was in the same situation as you at first. almost a year later, i feel ten times better

diy HRTer here... T gel is pretty hard to get hold of illegally, it's more likely they'd have gone the injection route, but it definitely sounds like you have reason to be worried. this is really sad and i hope your friend works out their issues before lifelong damage is done...

i was unable to speak for years due to medical mutism. i promise it isn't the answer. i could tell you more about the experience of living as mute to scare you out of it (happy to answer anything if you're curious btw) but i suspect that won't help since you're just looking for another way out. high school really isn't all it's chalked up to be, which is impossible to see when you're still in school but i promise people who hit their peak now will just struggle later on. you just have to get through high school. another form of transition won't fix your insecurities - let your emotions settle, come to terms with your body and voice as it is and then revisit the idea if you need to. i wish you the best <3

thank you, your comment is really kind. sadly genderGP isn't even NHS, it's a company working illegally from Spain because they were shut down in the UK. my carer is absolutely furious but i'm not sure what i can do, i can't undo the damage from testosterone but losing money too really sucks