This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user demonstrates a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally intelligent perspective across multiple posts over a year. They share personal experiences (ED from porn, OCD from religious trauma, having a boyfriend) and offer tailored, empathetic advice that reflects a deep understanding of complex issues like addiction, trauma, and identity. The language is natural, passionate, and varies in tone, which is not typical of automated systems.
About me
I never felt like I fit in as a teenager, and I hated the changes my female body went through during puberty. I thought I was a trans man because of what I saw online, and I started taking testosterone hoping it would fix my unhappiness. My depression and anxiety didn't get better, and I realized I was trying to escape my real issues with self-esteem and trauma. I stopped hormones when I understood my problem wasn't with being female, but with my own mental health. Now, I'm focusing on therapy and learning to accept myself as I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been messy, and looking back, I see now that a lot of my feelings were tangled up with other problems. I never felt like I fit in, especially as a teenager. I hated my body when I went through puberty; developing breasts felt wrong and foreign to me. I now realize this was more of a general puberty discomfort and body dysmorphia than a true gender issue, but at the time, I didn't have the words for that.
I started identifying as non-binary, and then later as a trans man. A lot of this was influenced by what I saw online and by my friends. I'm gay, and I think there was some internalised homophobia there too. I didn't want to be seen as a lesbian, and transitioning felt like a way to escape that label and the discomfort I had with my female body. It was a form of escapism from my own low self-esteem and depression.
I ended up taking testosterone for a while. I thought it was the solution to all my problems. But my mental health didn't really get better. I was still deeply unhappy. I had a lot of anxiety and my OCD, which is tied to religious trauma from my childhood, was still raging. I also had a real problem with porn that warped my idea of sex and relationships, making it hard for me to connect intimately with my boyfriend. I was seeking validation from strangers online instead of dealing with my own issues.
Eventually, I realized I had made a mistake. I don't think I ever truly had a problem with being female; I had a problem with myself. My depression and trauma were the real issues, not my gender. I regret transitioning because I let doctors and online communities convince me that changing my body was the answer, when what I really needed was to work on my mind. I stopped taking hormones and detransitioned.
I've benefited from stepping away from all that. I've been working on loving myself, and I've found that non-affirming therapy and techniques like DBT have helped me more than anything else. I've had to learn to cope without seeking constant validation from others. My thoughts on gender now are that it's a very personal thing, but I believe everyone should be 100% sure that their depression or trauma isn't related to their gender identity before they make any permanent changes. It's too easy to be misled when you're in a vulnerable place.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Around 13-14 | Started experiencing intense puberty discomfort and hated my developing breasts. |
| Around 17-18 | Started identifying as non-binary, influenced by friends and online communities. |
| 19 | Began identifying as a trans man and started taking testosterone. |
| 20 | Realized my mental health issues (depression, OCD, trauma) were not improving and were the root cause. Stopped testosterone and began detransitioning. |
| 21 (Present) | Focused on therapy, self-acceptance, and healing from body dysmorphia and other underlying issues. |
Top Comments by /u/khshkhs:
you gotta stop posting and wallowing in your pain. i know it hurts but there are better ways of learning to cope than seeking validation from strangers, and that goes for dating too. work on how you love your self, and the other things fall in line as time goes on.
i have an ED from porn. not sissy porn but in this situation i dont think that the fetish is really the only issue. can you get off at all to anything except that? if not, its time to cut back.
no doubt at all you need to go nofap. thats what im doing right now to hopefully help my sex life. my boyfriend has never been able to make me cum and i KNOW its because of how ive conditioned my pleasure receptors through porn. you need to stop. no nut november helped you, obviously. so im not really sure how to beat around the bush. if you want this to improve you need to re wire your fucking brain, and nofap helps with that.
the thing about sexuality is that its extremely malleable. it doesnt set. you can be fifty, watch enough heavy kink porn and now thats all you cum to. but fetishes are known to change these things. me personally i have a non con kink that makes vanilla, loving sex..... uninteresting to me. the deeper into this shit we go the harder it is to get out. you need to relent. try getting a therapist. if you can, it will help you. maybe even a specialized sex therapist. but you have to want this, and you have every reason to want it.
in religion, the first thing i was told to direct change in my life was to WANT to want the change. its so easy to live life in the gutter, jts so easy to want out, but its so hard to want to put in the work to want to get out. its so sexy, easy, edgy to be in that fucking gutter. so the first step is to get out of the headspace and into one thay says, "i want to live a better life" or else all your attempts at making a better life will fail. because deep down you havent learned to want it. youre doing it for someone else, or something. you have to do it for you, because you need it, because it will make your sex life better, because it will make your emotional life better.
looking at your posts you have a lot going on. i have OCD from religious trauma. i understand. sadly in these situations no one will be able to help you to the degree you desire. you have to love yourself enough to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and decide you will get through this and these things will pass. research dbt, there are self help workbooks you can get pdfs of for free online. that is one place off the top of my head you can start.
another thing, if you are christian, you should know your god isnt a vengeful or evil god, and that all he wants for you is to see you be your best self and love yourself. god does not hate trans people and would never punish someone for doing what they feel is best for them, even if they were wrong and realized it wasnt what was for them. god does not hate people that watch porn. he doesnt want to hurt you for watching it. god "dislikes" porn because it is not healthy for our mindsets and degrades how we feel about ourselves especially if we already have low self esteem or identity issues. it sounds like you have a bad relationship with your religion as well.
i dont vouch for religion personally but if that is something you like i would reach out to a church with lgbt support or womens support groups.
Everyone should be 100% sure their depression or trauma isnt related to their gender identity before transitioning. Its fucked that it can be so easy sometimes for these kids to transition, or even mislead adults. And the fact that the doctors are included in the pied pipery, is the worst and most fucked part
needing validation from strangers isnt healthy at all. going to someone you trust for help, sure. idk why you feel the need to tell me you do substances about it i do too. what do you want me to say "oh youre right, develop a bad habit because it is different than the substance one" because then you have a dependency on people... which is why seeking relationships when youre like this is dangerous. it creates codependancy and toxicity and malice in your relationship and turns people away with you. it doesnt really matter. a therapist will tell you the same. build your relationship with yourself and learn to appreciate the small things, you are still a beautiful girl just in a different way than before. you have grown and garnered experience from your transition and detransition. use that to propel goodness. whether you think it will feel good or not, whether it is what you want right now, it is the right move to heal. i hope you understand that.
maybe he was. i am not religious. but i know the truth about the christian god, and he is not ever trying to harm you as punishment. you havent fucked yourself up for any period of time. its just a hormone. its changed some of your features, and you should learn to love those changes or at least understand they came from a place of trying to heal you, because though you may change more while your E is replenished you will be different. but theres nothing wrong with that.
im gay and my friends are lesbian lol theres nothing homophobic about knowing what is associated with lesbians and avoiding it to avoid looking like one. im not a lesbian. dont want to look like one. i am not homophobic. not everything is a hate crime
but theres a difference in the two. is there no way to legally seperate them? one alters your childs body permanently, destroys their bone density, halts any ability to go through a normal puberty. the other keeps her safe, not pregnant, and possibly from suffering from extremely painful menstruation.
why can more people not see a difference in these breaks from consent