This story is from the comments by /u/kitsandkats that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments demonstrate:
- Personal Narrative: A consistent, detailed, and emotionally resonant personal history of experiencing gender dysphoria as a teen, social transition, and subsequent desistance over a 15-year timeline.
- Complex Argumentation: The user presents nuanced arguments, uses personal experience to support their views, and acknowledges the perspective of the person they are addressing.
- Emotional Investment: The language is passionate and conveys strong personal conviction and concern for others, which aligns with the stated experiences of detransitioners and desisters.
- Consistency: The story and stance remain consistent across multiple comments made over several months.
About me
My gender confusion started when I was 14, and I was completely convinced I was a boy for two years. I'm so thankful that medical intervention wasn't available to me as a teenager, because I now see my dysphoria was a symptom of trauma and internalized misogyny, not a need to be male. The therapy that saved me wasn't affirming; instead, it helped me uncover the real reasons I hated my body. Now, fifteen years later, I am a happy and confident woman who sees that my discomfort was about escaping the difficulties of being female. I believe we need to help young people understand the root of their pain instead of rushing them toward permanent medical changes.
My detransition story
My whole experience with gender started when I was about 14. I was diagnosed with what was then called Gender Identity Disorder. For two years, I was completely convinced I was a boy. I used a different name, dressed as a boy, and was "out" to everyone at school. I was the only trans kid I knew back then; it wasn't a common thing. I begged my therapist for hormones and surgery, I was so sure it was what I needed.
Looking back, I'm incredibly grateful that medical intervention wasn't an option for someone my age in my country at that time. If it had been, I would have taken testosterone and it would have ruined my life. What I needed wasn't to change my body, but to understand my mind.
I was influenced a lot by adults I met online in forums and chatrooms. They told me I was brave and that hormones and surgery were the only way to be my true self. I now see that as a form of grooming. They didn't have my best interests at heart. I also had a lot of other issues going on. I had internalized misogyny—I thought I "wasn't like other girls." I had also been sexually abused, which I've since learned is very common in girls who develop gender dysphoria. I hated my body, especially going through female puberty, but that discomfort wasn't because I was meant to be male.
The turning point was the therapy I received. It lasted for two years, and the therapist wasn't "affirming." She didn't just tell me I was a boy. Instead, she helped me explore why I felt this physical revulsion towards my body. She helped me uncover the trauma and the societal pressures that were making me uncomfortable with being a woman. That therapy was essential. It saved me from making a terrible, permanent mistake.
Fifteen years later, I am a confident and happy woman. I have no regrets about not transitioning medically, but I do have regrets about the social transition. It was a confusing and difficult time that I put myself and my family through unnecessarily. My thoughts on gender now are that it's often a symptom of other problems, especially for young people. For me, it was about trauma and trying to escape the difficulties of being a young woman in a society that has messed-up views on women. I don't believe children can truly understand the lifelong consequences of medical transition, and I think we will look back on this era of giving hormones and surgeries to minors as a horrific medical mistake.
I have a daughter now, and my experiences shape how I view this issue as a parent. I believe in providing mental health support to help kids understand the root of their feelings, not just affirming a identity that might be based on pain, trauma, or social influence.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder (GID). Began living socially as a boy. |
| 14-16 | Underwent two years of exploratory therapy to address the root causes of my dysphoria. |
| 16 | Realised through therapy that my dysphoria was linked to trauma and internalised misogyny, not to being transgender. Stopped identifying as male. |
| Present (approx. 30) | Living happily and confidently as a woman. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/kitsandkats:
I firmly believe you should stop these physical medical "interventions".
I was his age when I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria. This was around 15 years ago, and back then no medical interventions were allowed in my country until the age of 18. After two years of counselling, I realised that there were other issues which caused me to experience gender dypshoria and think I was trans. Your child doesn't understand what he's going through, even if he insists he does - he's simply too young. He might be gay. He might not. I firmly believe that allowing adolescent children to have medical interventions like this is deeply harmful.
It's also important to note that it is a social trend right now. It's cool to be trans among certain social groups, and to tell someone they might not be trans when they say they are is taboo, which is such a bad thing. If he regrets his choices, he won't be able to freely express that without being shunned (as some people on this subreddit will tell you).
It always devastates me to read things like this, I'm sorry if this isn't coherent, your post touched a nerve. If I had been given puberty blockers and hormones as a young person, it would have ruined my life, as it has ruined the lives of other people on this subreddit. We also don't know the long term health effects.
On another note, let me ask you this - would you allow him to make the decision to get a tattoo at 14? To have scarification performed? Any kind of permanent body modification? If not, why wouldn't you allow it?
The comments in this thread from this subreddit may help you. It's a similar situation to yours, although this child was being given medical interventions already.
We have found a great therapist who is neither affirming, nor non accepting- but rather helping to uncover what issues are behind this. This has only been going on for 5 weeks.
This is already the best thing for your son. A therapist with an open mind was essential to me at his age.
I suffered from gender dysphoria for a period during my adolescence. This was ~15 years ago. What helped me was having counselling (which lasted two years) from a person who did not immediately affirm that "yes, you are transgender" - they helped me explore why I was feeling this physical revulsion towards my sex charasteristics, and it turns out the answer was not that I was transgender. It helped me to understand a lot of things about myself.
Basically, I think you're already doing the right thing with the therapy. A conversation about the internet and social media, and limits placed on its use would also be a good thing - I'm not advocating total invasion of his privacy, but an open dialogue about what he's looking at and who he communicates with needs to be possible between you. I was groomed online in the mid-2000s when I sought advice from adults on forums and chatrooms about what I was feeling. You don't want him talking to them when he needs to talk - you want him talking to you.
I have a daughter, and I do consider her when I think about these things.
I don't think gender dysphoria is comparable to cancer, and I don't agree with medical interventions for children for GD. There's no way to know which children are "actually" trans and which aren't. If I had had medical interventions at 14/15, I'd be in a hell of a mess right now, but at the time I'd have been all for it - I begged my therapist for it. It wasn't available to me then. I'm glad it wasn't.
I didn't use permanent body modifications as an example because I believe that to be transgender is some kind of aesthetic choice. I was highlighting that children don't always know what is best for them and are restricted from doing many things as a result. If a child had severe body dysmorphia, believed they were hideous and disfigured when they are not, and was insisting they wanted a ton of plastic surgeries, would we give it to them? Or would we provide mental health assistance for that child?
I feel happy being called male as of now but the thought of transitioning and then realizing it wasn’t my gender I had a problem with, but society or some other trauma, scares me.
These were realisations I had in therapy, when I was suffering from GID as a teenager 15 years ago and living "as a boy" - social transition which lasted two years, I never had HRT or any other medical interventions because it was (fortunately) rarely offered to children back then where I am from. Who knows, if I was a teen now they'd probably suggest disastrous medical interventions on the basis that I "knew I was supposed to be a boy" - I was so sure!
It's not you. It is society, and its treatment and perceptions of women. The biggest rise in people identifying as transgender is in teen girls/young women, for these reasons. You do not need to change your body because of fucked up societal attitudes - and even if you do attempt to appear male with hormones and cosmetic surgery, you won't ever be male and the vast majority of people will never see you as male, even if they are polite to your face and call you "he".
I know this is not what you asked and probably not what you want to hear, but please understand, everything I have written here is intended to help you. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
It is my strong belief that minors like yourself should not be given medical interventions of any kind for gender dysphoria. I was 100% sure of myself too, when I was in my mid-teens and living as the opposite sex. New name, 'out' at school, the whole works. Back then, children were not given hormones or surgery. I would have jumped at the chance to be on T. I was the only child I knew with what was then called GID. Other kids at school hadn't even heard of transgenderism. I was the only 'trans kid' at the LGBT youth group. Adults on the internet told me how brave I was for being my 'true self'. They groomed me, told me I needed hormones and surgery to be happy. I had a lot of internalized misogyny (I "wasn't like the other girls"), and I'd also been sexually abused (very common in girls suffering from gender dysphoria).
Fifteen years later, I am a confident and happy woman, and I am so glad that I'm not your age now. I lived 'as a male' for two years. I saw a therapist who helped me to understand the root of my issues - and the answer was not that I was "really a man." Today, you'll be told to find a therapist that is "gender affirming", rather than someone who actually has your best interests at heart. Adults online will "validate" you, and a lot of them won't have your best interests at heart either. A lot of them are either very unwell, or have ulterior motives. I speak from experience.
If I were your age now, I'd have been put on T, like you have been. The body's endocrine system isn't something you should just play around with. The path you are on is a dangerous one, and I truly believe that one day we will be looking back at these medical interventions for minors and talking about it as a horrific medical mistake, like the lobotomy, or other similar discredited procedures.
I would be happy to discuss this with you further, if you wanted to, but I think I've said enough for now. I have no interest in upsetting you, or causing you distress. I genuinely hope you find peace with who you truly are, and that this road you are going down does not cause you permanent harm.
Thank you for reading my reply, and for your mature and considered response. I'm not questioning whether you have gender dysphoria, or whether the process was rigorous enough to determine that you do - what I disagree with is the treatment offered. I believe talking therapies are all that should be offered to minors, and that HRT and surgeries are an adult decision.
You're clearly an intelligent, thoughtful person. I sincerely hope whatever you choose to do makes you happy in life, and I wish you the best of luck.