This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's posts show:
- High Specificity: Detailed, personal, and medically consistent accounts of physical changes (e.g., specific surgeries, hormone effects, timelines).
- Emotional Complexity: A realistic range of emotions, including regret, uncertainty, and nuanced reflection, not just performative anger.
- Internal Consistency: The story and timeline are coherent and consistent across posts made over several years.
- Community Engagement: The user interacts with others by sharing experiences and offering support, which is typical of a genuine community member.
The account exhibits the passion and strong feelings expected from someone who has experienced the harm they describe.
About me
I started testosterone at 20, believing it was the answer to my problems with my female body and low self-esteem. I had top surgery and a hysterectomy, which I immediately regretted for the physical and emotional numbness they caused. After seven years, I quit testosterone because the negative side effects were overwhelming and the benefits had faded. My body has since healed in many ways, and I feel more like myself again, though I live with permanent changes. I now see I was chasing an idea to fix deeper issues, and my biggest regret is the irreversible surgeries.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started when I first learned that regular people could transition, back around 2010. It seemed like an answer to a lot of my problems at the time. I started taking testosterone in 2013 when I was about 20 years old. I was on it for roughly 7.5 years, finally stopping in 2019.
Looking back, a lot of my reasons for wanting to transition were tied up in other issues. I had an eating disorder when I was younger; I was anorexic because I wanted a stick-figure, androgynous body and to stop my period. I also hated my breasts and felt uncomfortable with the changes from female puberty. I think a lot of my feelings were influenced by what I saw online and the idea that transitioning would make me happier. But in the end, getting what I thought I wanted didn’t actually make me happy—it was the chase that felt good.
I had top surgery when I was about 24. I chose a surgeon known for great peri results, but when I met him, he recommended double incision instead. I woke up from that surgery in immediate regret and shock. I felt like a zombie because I couldn’t feel my chest. Later, I realized I actually missed the sensual feeling of having breasts. My scars never lightened much, and I always felt disappointed.
I also had a hysterectomy about four years into being on T. They took my uterus, tubes, and cervix but left my ovaries, which I’m now incredibly grateful for. Waking up from that surgery, I had bleeding for a month and was in a lot of pain. Over time, the social repercussions hit me hard—not being able to have kids became a huge deal-breaker for potential partners.
Being on testosterone felt like being on an antidepressant at first. I felt nothing in a powerful way—unphased, productive, and confident. But the negative side effects built up over the years: my hairline started receding, my skin got bad with acne, my vaginal health declined with dryness and atrophy, and my urine looked and smelled terrible. I started shaving daily and worried about my health.
I decided to stop T because I felt I had reached the maximum benefits and was only dealing with the cons. I tapered off on my own without doctor supervision initially. Since quitting, my body has changed a lot. My head hair has gotten healthier and fuller, my skin cleared up, my genitals are much better lubricated and less irritated, and my body fat has redistributed back to my thighs and butt, which actually makes me feel feminine and attractive. Emotionally, I feel more like I did pre-T—more emotional, sometimes overly so, and my thoughts can get loud and overwhelming. I miss the emotional numbness sometimes, but I don’t miss the physical side effects.
I don’t really know what I think about gender now. I feel like I was chasing an idea that wasn’t real for me. I regret the permanent changes, especially the surgeries. If I could go back, I wouldn’t have done any of it. I’ve come to see that my unhappiness was rooted in other things—low self-esteem, body dysmorphia, and maybe just the difficulties of being a woman in the world. I’m trying to accept my body as it is now and move forward.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 20 | 2013 | Started testosterone |
| 24 | ~2017 | Had top surgery (double incision) |
| ~24 | ~2017 | Had hysterectomy (kept ovaries) |
| 28 | 2019 | Stopped testosterone after 7.5 years |
Top Comments by /u/knology:
Same, it’s like dysphoria in reverse. It feels like nails being hammered in my chest all the time, like my throat closing in all the time like I can’t breathe cuz I’m always on the brink of crying, and like I’m always nauseous and can’t eat, that’s how much I regret it
Yes, signs I knew I was already gonna regret it:
- All my friends had always told me to never get top surgery. They said I had the perfect size and shape breasts and that even if I got older or gained weight, they were such a size and shape they would stay conventionally pretty
- All my friends said I was so lucky I could look like I had breasts or no breasts, depending on which clothes I was wearing
- The dr wanted to do double incision instead of peri, when I'd been hoping for peri
- As soon as the bandages came off, I immediately felt like Kyle from American Horror Story. Basically he's a zombie who gets resurrected. To not feel anything when I touched my chest made me feel like I was a zombie. I slowly re-gained feeling, though I would say nothing is quite as sensual as having big, full breasts played with, in comparison to a flat chest
- My scars have not lightened very much, compared to many other people's. Although, I began working/lifting much sooner than I should have, and didn't use special strips or creams
Mostly I felt pressure to take action cuz time and money. I could finally get vacation from work. I finally didn't have school to worry about. I worried my therapist's letter would expire after a year. I had finally saved enough money. I was slowly losing friends due to us becoming busy adults w full time jobs and kids, and worried I'd never make more friends who could take time off to be my caretaker.
It felt like an opportunity had presented itself, and it became a "now or never" feeling.
The grass is always greener on the other side. It’s easier to idealize someone else’s happiness, and much of what you see online (insta, socials) are the happy highlights not the true struggles. The media also greatly simplifies. I thought I would be happier after transitioning, cuz everyone else was, but once I got what I wanted I really wasn’t any happier
Ooof
Both. As soon as I awoke from surgery my immediate thought was, "I don't want to do this. I changed my mind." I was in such disbelief that the surgery actually happened that I went into shock and couldn't stop shaking. They kept throwing blankets on top of me and I kept saying I was cold. Finally they said I wasn't cold and that I was going into shock, so gave me a methadone to calm down
I was in regret that it'd been double incision instead of peri. The whole reason I even chose that dr was I LOVED his peri results. To meet him in person and have him be like, "Yeah.. you might be better DI" and wake up w huge DI scars was a hit yea..
In time, I was filled w regret. It honestly turned me on to accidentally brush my boobs against something while wearing my labcoat at work. To later accidentally brush them thru the lab coat and not feel their fullness and not be filled w that same sexual excitement was disappointing later on
The hysto was both as well. Waking up and struck w a light period for like a month was a bit of a blow yea. It filled me w regret to feel such physical pain and be bleeding so long. Later, it filled me w HUGE regret to know I couldn't have kids and that future partners viewed that as a MASSIVE deal-breaker
Hormones more gradual regret. It took years for me to think my hair was receding, becoming thinner and frizzier and generally unhealthier. Took years to start getting facial hair. Years for my skin texture to change. And by years I mean like 5-7 years.
I'd say top surgery: Definitely sudden regret, and continued gradual regret Hysto: Some sudden regret, and huge impact of gradual regret esp based on social repercussions Hormones: Gradual regret
I’d say I learned of the concept of transitioning in 2010, like “normal” people could do it, not just celebrities or daytime drama people or whatever
To which I identified with and wanted
In 2013 I began taking T
In 2019 I stopped T, although for at least a year or two I’d been questioning stopping due to declines in health I personally attributed to hormones and surgeries
So yea.. I about fit 7 years yeah
I get that about height having power (5’3”) I was studying to be a teacher and people told me to quit, pick a new major, bc I’m too short and no high schooler will ever obey a short young female. When I tell people I used to be a teacher major but left they say “thank god, you’re too short, they would have eaten you alive.” Now that I’m looking toward management I’m met with the same attitude— you’re too short, skinny, and young looking to be taken seriously
Not mtftm but I’m sure many of us women who did transition once tried to have a flatter chest—
I personally found sports bras to be helpful. Wearing a tight undershirt. Wearing a baggy hoodie. Essentially, wearing layers
I say this as someone who was an A, maybe a small B and regularly read as male doing my advice
Yes my jawline came back. Pre T I had super puffy cheeks “as if I were blowing them out like a squirrel” said one friend. On T, I had a super chiseled Adonis jaw. Off T now, it’s like the middle. Like pre estrogen puberty, before my cheeks blew out like a squirrel, but also not chiseled at all. Friends who don’t know about transition just think I look “more well rested, with healthier and fuller cheeks” is what another friend said
I stopped posting selfies for like a year or two. Maybe 2-3 slowed then have now just used the same profile pic for 1.5 years
I didn’t like my hairline in pics, esp selfies. I feel it’s receding. Also being struck with extra bad bacne/shoulder acne this summer
And getting back with this cis straight dude was like the final icing. At first it was just “oh someday, I dunno I’m scared to bring it up” then after femming it up for him for a summer and realizing not only did I not mind but actually felt physically healthier, have now decided to quit
I coincidentally also have a T apt soon, making it a convenient time to quit
I think you’ve come to the wrong place for support. Generally detrans is filled with stories that begin like this, then turn to “so I did irreparable medical changes, then I regretted it, please help me overcome my regrets.” Most of us thinking we were coming in with healthy mindsets then later crying here saying what were we/the therapist/dr thinking?!!