Hello, I am AGP and transitioned and then detransitioned. I think a lot of the reason AGPs go through with it is the shame of being a man turned on by feminisation. Adjacent concepts in erotic material are often femdom, cucking, etc. These are embarrassing and difficult to explain erotic proclivities. It’s much easier to just “become the girl” and finally your sexuality makes sense with your gender.

Of course, when you transition you go on hormone drugs and these drugs reduce your sex drive. Additionally, if you choose to have some kind of “bottom surgery”, this will leave you with very little libido indeed. This can sometimes be the trigger point for detransition as the transition is no longer fulfilling a sexual purpose. With no sex drive, you are just living as a sexless trans woman for no discernible reason. You are easily upset by anti-trans sentiment, you put effort into looking “like a woman”, but it doesn’t make you happy, etc. There are many unpleasant realities in being a trans woman. You may face discrimination, social rejection, poor romantic and sexual outcomes with partners.

Personally this was kind of the case for me, but at the time I was convinced I wasn’t AGP and that it was pseudoscience. With testosterone running through my system, I’m able to say that I was in denial and AGP scenarios are once again erotically appealing to me.

Maybe the reason transition is seen as the only option is because it’s become socially acceptable, even encouraged. You’d be lauded for your bravery on Twitter, have hordes on other trans women saying how stunning you are, support networks, community, finally a place you can belong! Compare that to living a life of an AGP man. You feel humiliated and ashamed of your fetish. Your romantic and sexual prospects may seem diminished because of your secret sexual proclivities. If you are discovered, you are shamed. There is a great deal of shame among cross-dressers. Oftentimes they will binge (buying lots of feminine attire) and purge (become disgusted with themselves and swear off this fetish and throw away all their clothes, toys, whatever).

In a way transition and detransition is the ultimate binge and purge. I can’t say I’m particularly happy with my sexuality as a man. I can say that I have been happier and physically healthier having detransitioned. There is some hope and ambition in my life where previously it was a dead-end. In transition I was hollow. Now, as a man, I may be ashamed and anxious, but I am a whole, real person once more.

No suggestions for you really. Supposedly repression doesn’t work and it will strike you down at 60 when you’ll be very sorry you didn’t transition when you were a lithe twink of twenty. Some level of acceptance seems to be the best thing. Incorporating little things into an otherwise vanilla sex life. Of course, it’s a slippery slope and many married men end up having to pretend they’re a lesbian in bed with their wife to cum. Then they might try pegging, actual cross dressing, then suddenly he refuses to be on top. Then he’s asking her to go shopping with him for clothes. Then, bam, he’s at the gender clinic too.

I’m sorry for the depressing and long post. I have no desire to transition again but I also have little optimism for my sex life. All the best.

It’s not that they convinced you of something, it’s that you wanted to believe and so were less critical. It’s a nice fantasy to believe that all the problems about hating yourself and your body are caused by a medically legitimate condition that is having a booming social movement right now. I wanted to believe too. It’s easy to delude yourself when you desperately want a way out of self hatred.

I think it’s insane that people remove sex from the equation. I hear that gender and sex are completely removed from one other and that makes no sense to me. In my opinion, gender expression is how we express our sexuality. I don’t think the persistent trope of men only doing things for sex is a myth. If you take this view, though, and apply something like AGP — it’s very difficult to have your gender expression match your sexuality because your sexuality is messy and there’s that internal struggle between thinking “I’m similar to other straight men and should pursue that expression” vs. my strange erotic interests.

So, everything is because of sex. All transition has, at least something, to do with sex. It’s not useful to get caught up in thinking “this is only for sexual reasons” - so is almost everything on some level.

To my knowledge you seem HSTS if we’re gonna use that model. Supposedly there is some kind of AGP that occurs in otherwise HSTS people. Idk that much about it. It makes sense to me that you would want a vagina. HSTS find straight men attractive and your perception of penis + vagina = straight sex (desirable) versus penis + anus = gay (unappealing as you don’t want to be seen as a gay man) makes having a vagina enticing.

It’s hard, though. Some might diagnose it as a societal problem and say if homophobia didn’t exist, then you’d be alright being a gay man. I don’t know if that’s true or not or it comes down to the incongruence of being masculine while being the receptive partner. Obviously masc/masc porn is very popular. Some guy on YouTube says most gay men actually have AAP because masculinity is attractive to them so much that they try to become what they love. It’s hard out here for a twink.

Food for thought. My transition was not surface level about sex, but that libidinal desire manifested in a deep way that strongly changed me and led to my transition eventually. And I think all MTF transition is sexual and probably most FTM as well (including to avoid being sexually attractive to men, often from from trauma).

This might seem stupid, but I’m scared to join Facebook groups in case trans or especially woke friends see it. I don’t want to deal with that tension, you know. Plus I don’t want to out myself to people who didn’t know I transitioned.

People can see you’re a member, can’t they?

That’s alright, thanks for not taking it as too much of a slight. I would point out that bisexuals and asexuals are categorised as AGP in the typology and I too slept with men. But fair enough, all good. Of course I understand what you’re saying and it’s very hard. Maybe that’s why I was so depressed when I was trans — because I started believing more and more “terf” rhetoric and feeling ashamed of those trans women who I felt were egregious examples of those things you point out. It’s hard, definitely. I don’t know what you can really do. Trans people often congregate and as I’m sure you’re aware, the online trans community is very strong and eager to excommunicate those who have the “wrong views”. Once that sense of community goes, it’s pretty alienating as you question the nature of transness and the point of it all, etc.

I have to say, I think you will always get chasers or those who are desperate. I’m sure you’re a lovely person but having had relationships with a fair amount of straight/“straight”/bi cis men, most of them only want trans women because they’re GAMP/AGAMP/AGP (the kind of chaser who might seem like an “egg” or want you to penetrate him, live vicariously through you), guys who think trans women are an easy lay compared to cis women, or guys who think it’s a novelty. Well, I suppose it’s possible that you would meet a man who loved you for you and once you revealed yourself as trans, he might stay. But you would have to have a perfect SRS result, be quite duplicitous about your former life, pass perfectly, etc etc. Any man who has a romantic or sexual encounter with a trans woman that he knows is trans, is to some degree a chaser IMO. Maybe women are more open, but then you run into the trap of having to be a transbian and all the baggage that that entails. Plus there’s the no kids thing.

But I am a guy with no balls and some small tits and a weird history now, which surely is even more unappealing lol. So what are you gonna do, hey...

I’m not sure. Hopefully, yes. For me or others who know transition won’t work, maybe yes. But someone who never tried transition might see it as a step towards transition if they are not fully aware of how AGP works (and maybe if they are). It would be arousing but eventually the novelty might wear off and they might want to “progress” things more and more. And the validation this kind of sex provides might lead them to the conclusion that they are indeed trans because this feels so right.

It’s hard to say. It seems to be a good compromise for some people if they’re aware of their condition and a slippery slope for some others.

Personally, the idea of being treated that way while I look like a man is not all that appealing. I think this is because we (either society at large or AGPs) seem unable to conceive someone being both masculine and submissive. It goes against cultural stereotypes and feels wrong to my brain. There’s a reason that in sissy porn captions read like “submit” “become a girl” — these ideas are somewhat synonymous to the AGP (or male in general, maybe, just they wouldn’t be erotically interested in the idea). It’s hard to separate them.

Because, above all, this is a type of heterosexuality. In prison, the common trope of becoming someone’s bitch comes to mind. The receptive partner is feminised/emasculated so the active partner doesn’t have that “two men, ew!” response natural to male heterosexuality. There has to be a man (active) and a non-man (passive, feminised, devoid of masculine signifiers of appearance and behaviour).

Sorry I went off the rails a bit there. It’s because answering these helps to clarify my own thoughts. Are you in that situation or just interested? Happy to talk more if you like.