This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments display a consistent, deeply personal narrative of detransition, complex trauma, and co-occurring conditions like BPD/DID over a four-year period. The emotional tone is raw and specific, focusing on personal regret and medical harm, which aligns with the known passions and grievances of genuine detransitioners. The language is nuanced and shows internal conflict and reflection, which is difficult to fake consistently.
About me
I was born male, and my journey started from a place of deep unhappiness and trauma, not a stable identity. I lived as a woman for seven years after taking estrogen and having surgery, believing each step would fix me, but it never did. I now realize my drive to transition was a symptom of my mental health struggles, including BPD and DID, which created a shifting sense of self. I've recently started to detransition, stopping hormones and accepting that I am male, though I deeply regret the irreversible changes. I’ve learned that true healing comes from addressing the underlying trauma, not from changing your body.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition is deeply tangled with trauma and mental health struggles that I didn't understand at the time. Looking back, I believe a lot of my desire to transition came from a place of deep unhappiness and a need to escape from myself, rather than from a clear, stable sense of being a woman.
I was born male. My journey started with a lot of confusion about my identity. I think I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and a key part of that is a shifting sense of self. I could easily adopt new identities and was heavily influenced by the people and ideas around me. I also have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) from childhood trauma, which made everything even more complicated. Different parts of me had very different feelings about gender. One part of me held a lot of trauma and was very focused on medical transition and gender dysphoria, while other parts of me didn't really care about being male or female; they just wanted a normal, quiet life and to heal from the trauma.
I started taking estrogen and lived as a woman for seven years. I was "stealth," meaning people I met didn't know I was trans. I even got surgery—I had my penis removed. I now see that injecting alcohol into my testicles was a form of literal self-harm, but at the time, I thought it was a step I needed to take. I wish that the therapist I saw for a few months during that time had stopped me and asked harder questions. I wish someone had said, "Hold up, what you're doing is extreme and might be a sign of something else that needs to be addressed." But no one did. They just affirmed everything.
I had a total of ten surgeries, thinking each one would finally make me happy and fix what was wrong. But it never did. I learned the hard way that if you aren't happy before surgery, changing your body won't create that happiness. It just created new problems and didn't solve the old ones.
Now, I realize I am probably just a cisgender male. A big moment of clarity for me was realizing that without a doubt, I would take my original genitals back in a second if I could. That was a huge sign that my transition was a mistake for me. My feelings about gender change day to day, and I'm still figuring it out, but I'm leaning toward accepting that I'm male.
I’ve recently started the process of detransition. Just a few weeks ago, I reached out to some family doctors in my area to ask for help. I found that if you explain you want to do it in a healthy way to avoid physical health issues, they can be receptive. I'm stopping estrogen and will need to manage my hormones going forward.
I don't regret my journey because it led me to where I am now, but I deeply regret the irreversible changes, especially the surgery. I lost 16 years of my life to this. I think my drive to transition was a symptom of deeper issues: trauma, a need for acceptance, and a lack of self-esteem. I encourage anyone questioning their gender to look deeply into any hidden trauma they might have and to seek therapy from someone who will challenge you, not just affirm you. For me, figuring this out had nothing to do with gender affirmation and everything to do with finally addressing my mental health.
| Age | Date | Event |
|---|---|---|
| ? | ? | Started taking estrogen (MTF transition) |
| ? | ? | Underwent surgery to remove penis |
| ? | 2025-01-23 | Realized I am probably a cis male after 7 years of living as a woman |
| ? | 2024-12-22 | Contacted family doctors to begin medical detransition |
Top Comments by /u/krone6:
I'm a bit biased, but I encourage people early in figuring themselves out being trans or not to look into any hidden trauma they may not realize, as it can drive your desires and make you think you're in control when you may not be.
You may think you want that surgery or to change something major about you, but deep down that may just be a symptom of something simpler: acceptance of yourself or from others.
If it means anything, our situation is nearly identical so I'm glad to be able to follow this thread for information. 7 years in mtf, stealth, post surgeries and am probably a cis male.
What I've learned is if you're not happy now, a surgery won't do anything about that. After 10 surgeries I've learned that lesson the hard way.
100% agreed. For some reason the trans community struggles to comprehend some people simply want to live their life and pass, that's it. I did the same as you recently and experienced the same effects as you have. Life has started to feel "normal" again (quotes as normal is subjective in this case).
I wish the therapist I saw for 4 months as I injected alcohol into my testicles told me there may be something to discuss and perhaps trauma I didn't know I had to cause me to get a botched surgery to remove the penis because of said unknown traumas.
If only *anyone* at any point said "hold up, I think you're trans and we need to talk. You're doing X things that are literal self-harm and that might be a concern for something else. Maybe transition is still for you, but let's still figure this out"
Pretty much what I'm going through too due to childhood trauma and losing 16 years of my life. I think I'm a female, but that's a huge maybe as each day makes me question such a thing and wonder what'd happen if I went through puberty and life without that trauma (DID and BPD). That, and the fact without a doubt I'd take my prior genitals without second thought backs such stuff up.
I'd assume yes based on what I understand and experience (and the others in the system). For example our traumaholder is very medical and trans-oriented because of gender dysphoria stuff whereas the others like me are on the other end of the spectrum and just want to have a normal'ish life in some way and move beyond trans stuff. Male, female, we don't care as much as just fix the trauma at least.
Yes, family doctors can assist in detransition as it's (in my opinion) essentially doing the reverse with hormones. I've done exactly this weeks ago by reaching out to some family doctors in my area and asking if they assist with detransition. Managed to find a few, surprisingly. I've also quickly learned if you tell them your focus is on doing it in a healthy way so you don't suffer physical issues then they'll be more receptive to such a situation.
If you suddenly develop gender dysphoria or a feeling of discomfort out of the blue when youve never felt it during puberty or childhood, i would definitely suggest you to go to regular therapy (avoid gender affirming therapists, you need someone to challenge you) and talk about the possible roots of that sudden dysphoria.
Expanding on this for the author: Literally, what happened here with us, and turns out there was a lot of trauma that was hidden, so a big yes to therapy to figure stuff out.
Sure you don't have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? A key characteristic of it is shifting or lack of self and identity, able to adopt and be influenced by factors around them. I have it and what you describe is relatable in the sense of "becoming another person".
Throwing this out just in case it helps you or someone lurking.
I'm with you there as something similar may be happening with us. I'm on estrogen but feel maybe I'm a boy, but I also like aspects being a girl brings so I just keep going with it. Your brain might figure itself out over time and that's why I am hoping mine also does.