This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, nuanced, and emotionally complex experiences with detransition, dysphoria, and internalized misogyny.
- Consistent introspection about their own biases and motivations over multiple posts.
- A clear personal narrative that evolves across comments but remains coherent.
- Appropriate passion and frustration that aligns with the stated context of detransitioners discussing harm and stigma.
The account exhibits the hallmarks of a real person reflecting on their detransition journey.
About me
I started as a young girl who felt ashamed of my femininity because of what I saw online, and I began identifying as a trans man in my teens to escape that shame. I took testosterone because I thought being male would feel more free and help me avoid the oppression women face. I eventually realized I could never change my sex and that transition wasn't a real escape from misogyny, so I stopped. Now, I'm a detransitioned female learning to accept my body and unlearn that deep internalized hatred. My biggest struggle is accepting being female in a world that constantly shows me why I wanted to reject it in the first place.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was really young, around ten years old. I got exposed to a lot of "not like other girls" memes and content online. It made me feel like being a "girly girl" was something shameful and inferior. The truth is, I always liked a lot of stereotypically feminine things, like the color pink and pretty clothes, but I forced myself to hide it. I pretended my favorite color was blue and acted as masculine as I could because I was terrified of being seen as a girl. I saw it as something to be ashamed of. This turned into a deep internalized misogyny that I'm still trying to unlearn.
When I hit puberty, I felt really uncomfortable. I hated the changes, especially developing breasts. I didn't feel like the idea of a "woman" fit me at all. In my head, "woman" sounded mature, prim, proper, and maybe even submissive, and I didn't see myself that way. "Boy," on the other hand, sounded free, playful, rough, and silly, which felt more like my personality. I now realize those were just subconscious biases, but at the time, they felt real. I started identifying as a trans man in my teens.
I think a lot of my desire to transition was an attempt to escape the oppression women face. I wanted to opt out of being treated a certain way. When I visualized myself from a third-person perspective, it felt more "right" if I was a man and "wrong" if I was a woman. I was so unhappy that I started taking testosterone. I was happy about the changes at first, like my face becoming more masculine and growing body hair, because it helped me pass as male.
But things started to change for me. I began to realize that no matter what hormones I took or surgeries I had, I could never actually change the fact that I was born female. I also understood that transitioning wasn't a real escape from misogyny; trans men just face a different kind of oppression, and it still finds its way to you. My dysphoria lessened as I worked through these feelings. I stopped testosterone and started to detransition.
Now, I accept myself and my sex, but it's a struggle. It's hard to accept being female when people constantly treat you in a way that reminds you why you rejected it in the first place. The reality of how women are perceived and treated is the biggest hurdle for me. If nobody was looking at me or judging me, I think I'd be a lot more comfortable with my body.
I have some lingering issues from the testosterone. I have hormone levels similar to someone with PCOS, like extra body hair, but I've been told I don't have it. It's one of my biggest insecurities now, and I'm hoping to find a way to treat it, maybe with anti-androgens.
When I look back, I don't regret my transition in the sense that I want to be a trans man again. But I do sometimes wish I had been born a man, purely because of the oppression women face. I also get pangs of jealousy towards transmasculine people, not because I want to be like them, but because I used to think they had successfully escaped being a woman. I know now that isn't true.
I also realized my dysphoria was weirdly specific. It was connected to my role during sex. I would only feel dysphoric if I was in a dominant role, because I subconsciously associated being submissive with being female. It’s funny how these biases work.
My main regret is that I suppressed my true self for so long because of internalized misogyny. I was ashamed of liking feminine things and pretended to be someone I wasn't. I'm finally allowing myself to like what I actually like.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 10 years old | Exposed to "not like other girls" content online, leading me to suppress my feminine interests. |
| Early Teens (Puberty) | Felt intense discomfort with female puberty, especially breast development. Started to identify as a trans man. |
| Mid-Teens | Started taking testosterone. Felt happy about masculine changes like facial shape and body hair. |
| Late Teens | Began to question my transition. Realized I could never change my sex and that transition wasn't a true escape from misogyny. Stopped testosterone. |
| Present Day | Living as a detransitioned female. Working on accepting my body and unlearning internalized misogyny. Dealing with ongoing hormonal issues from taking testosterone. |
Top Comments by /u/kyles_durians:
i have hormone levels similar to those with pcos and other symptoms but its been confirmed that i dont have it so i have no idea what could be causing it 😓 but anyway, i used to feel happy about having a more masculine face and body hair because it helped me pass, but now its one of my biggest insecurities haha. im hoping to find out if theres anything thats causing higher testosterone so i can get it treated .. with anti-androgens hopefully
i accept myself and my sex, but it's hard to do so when other people constantly remind me of why i rejected being female and femininity in the first place. sadly the reality of being female entails being treated a certain way by people. that's the one i'm having trouble accepting 😅 is it the same for you ? or are you having trouble with accepting yourself as female because of only you ? if there were nobody looking at you and nobody to judge you, would you be comfortable with it ?
i forced myself to be masculine and tomboyish because i wanted to be perceived as nothing like a girl. i would commonly see in media that "girly girls" were associated with negative traits. i have always been into a lot of stereotypically feminine things, but i suppressed it in favor of seeming masculine or like a boy. i felt like i was being a different person for years, being ashamed of fucking liking the color pink and pretending my favorite color was blue or some shit. wanting to wear pretty clothes and makeup but not doing it because i was terrified that it'd make me look like a girl. was constantly scared of being perceived as a girl every second i would spend outside because i saw it (for myself) as something so shameful and inferior. all because i was exposed to "not like other girls" memes and content at 10 years old, and it now turned into internalized misogyny that i have to unlearn.
i have not seen a detrans story the same as mine, where we were truly feminine but suppressed it to be seen as a superior "masculine man", but internalized misogyny affects so much of us 🥲
i felt the same about visualizing myself as a man when i identified as trans. like visualizing how i act from the third person, it felt more right if i were a man and wrong if i were a woman. i would've used the exact same "silly boy" description as you did xD
i also felt uneasy about being a "woman." for me, it was because "woman" sounded mature, prim and proper, behaved, maybe even submissive. and i thought of myself as none of those things so it felt weird seeing myself as a woman or thinking that i would become one. "boy" however sounded more free, playful, rough, and silly, and that's how i saw myself so i identified with "boy". though i realized those connections like woman = behaved and boy = rough arent true for everyone. (those connections were subconscious too, like i wasnt literally thinking "woman is behaved, boy is rough" but the biases were so deep in my head that i didnt catch it at the time) and i can be silly as a woman. it might sound wrong or odd since there are preconceived notions about what a "woman" is and what it means to be one, and will probably sound odd to others too, but thats how it actually is. being a woman just means being an adult human female, everything else is biases.
(reposting i forgot to put a user flair oops) sometimes, not in the sense that i want to be a trans man again, but that i sometimes still wish i was born a man. but it doesn't make me want to retransition since no matter what hormones i take and surgeries i go through, i can never change that i was not born a man. even then, my dysphoria is less than before, and my desire to be born a man mostly stems from wanting to opt out of the oppression women face.
i also get jealousy towards transmascs sometimes. i dont know why you're jealous, but for me, it was because i thought they were successful in escaping oppression of women. when in reality they just face a different kind of oppression, and misogyny will still make its way into their lives even if they transition and pass.
how do you feel about your secondary sex characteristics outside of the bedroom ?
it may also be that you subconsciously associate being submissive with female and thats why having female sex characteristics in the bedroom is okay to you. that's not bad, we all have unconscious bias, even if we deny it. and common assumptions surrounding women lead many people to have biases similar to that.
i say that because i was like that ... and funnily, i would only have dysphoria during sex if im in the dominant role.