This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
Reasons:
- The comments show consistent, nuanced, and empathetic engagement with complex personal struggles.
- The user shares a specific, plausible personal detail (being from Mexico) and references their own non-medical desister perspective.
- The language is natural, with minor grammatical inconsistencies that are typical of a non-native English speaker, not a bot.
- The passion and advice given are consistent with a genuine member of the detrans/desister community.
About me
I'm from Mexico, and for ten years I believed I was supposed to be a woman, which was an exhausting and lonely experience. I was terrified that medical transition would leave me isolated, but I also feared staying as I was would do the same. Learning from others about the permanence of surgery was a major reason I never went through with it. I no longer identify as a woman and have come to see myself as a man, which is about more than just the body. While I regret the years I spent feeling lost, I'm now focused on moving forward with my life.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started a long time ago, and looking back, I think a lot of it was about not feeling comfortable with myself. I never had any surgery or took hormones, but for about ten years, I lived with the idea that I was supposed to be a woman. This thought was constant and exhausting; it felt like I was pretending to be something I wasn't. I spent a lot of time in therapy trying to figure out why I felt this way, and I made some small progress in understanding myself.
A big part of my struggle was the fear of ending up alone. I thought that if I went through with a surgery, I might face loneliness, but I also felt that if I didn’t do it, I might be alone anyway. It felt like a no-win situation for a long time. I was deeply unsure about what the right path was for me.
I spent a lot of time online, in forums like this one, reading about other people's experiences. I remember being attracted to the idea of being with a post-op transgender woman, because it felt like we would be on a similar journey. It didn’t feel like a lie to me at the time; it felt like finding someone who understood. I also spent a lot of time thinking about the roles society forces on us, like the idea that pink is for girls and blue is for boys. I came to believe that it's up to each person to decide what applies to them, and that the strict binary way society sees things is a real problem.
Through all of this, I never went through with any medical procedures. I learned from others here that surgeries like vaginoplasty are permanent. Once you remove the penis, it’s gone. You can’t get that growth back; the only option to reverse it would be a major reconstruction surgery, like a phalloplasty, and even then, you might lose sensation. Knowing how final it all is was a big reason I never moved forward.
Now, I don't identify as a woman anymore. I see myself as a man, and I believe that being a man isn't defined by what's between your legs. It’s something much deeper than that. It took a lot of personal work to deconstruct these ideas, especially coming from a very traditional, machismo culture here in Mexico.
I do have some regrets about spending so many years of my life stuck in that uncertain state, feeling like I was in the wrong body. It was a painful and lonely place to be. But I don't regret ultimately deciding not to transition medically. I'm trying to focus on the small victories I've had along the way and move forward with my life as the man I am.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18 | First began to experience feelings of discomfort with my gender and started to question my identity. |
| 18 to 28 | Lived for a decade with the persistent idea that I was supposed to be a woman, but did not pursue any medical interventions. |
| 28 | Actively participated in online detransition communities, seeking and offering support. Solidified my decision to not pursue medical transition and began to reconcile living as a man. |
Top Comments by /u/lalorys:
Hi, friend.
First of all, you are not alone.
I have always believed that repentance is valid, you are valid (today and always). But, the idea of committing suicide will not solve any of your problems, unfortunately, you will leave more for those around you.
I know it's hard to face your reality. But, I also know that nothing and no one can destroy what you are right now. And, I also know that there are many people who are interested in listening to you, understanding you and assimilating you.
I believe that, instead of focusing on the "negative" of your situation, you should focus on everything you have achieved as a human being. All your little victories you've missed. I can't tell you that I understand your situation, because I still don't have any kind of transition, but I can tell you that I understand you when you feel that it's not "my body"
As I told you, in previous paragraphs, you can go back to being a man. Everything is valid as long as you consider that it is the right thing for you.
From my perspective, I believe that a man is not defined by a piece of meat between his legs. It goes further. All this, through a great personal deconstruction and a very "machista" social circle.
Cheer up and the best vibes.
Greetings from Mexico :)
Hi, friend.
There is a sociologist (Max Weber) who talks about the relationship and the roles established by society. Somehow, it states that human construction is a reproduction of the environment.
The point is that many times we reproduce what the environment dictates, an example of this is: "Pink for girls, blue for boys". Where am I going with all this? Ultimately, it is you who makes sense of the environment, and it is up to you to decide if they are applicable to you or to a particular situation. What I do consider a problem is the heteronormity and binary nature of many societies.
Hi, friend.
First of all, I want to tell you that you are not alone.
Have you tried to change Psychologist? Have you talked to him about your doubt? Also, you can opt for other options, thank God it is no longer a requirement to have a feminine appearance to continue with hormones.
Hi, friend.
I get the point. And maybe because of my age (28), I don't have a complete picture of what it means to have a surgery of this type.
Changing my mind was also an option for about 10 years, it's tiring to pretend to be something I'm not and I know that surgery would not give me what it should. But, I am also aware that the current situation I am in is complicated. The idea does not come out of my head, I already went to therapy to identify the situation, and I am having small victories on the subject. And, one of them is the possible loneliness that my decision entails. I mean, if I somehow get the surgery, I could face it. And if I don't get it, it's also likely that I'll end up alone.
Hi, friend.
I'm afraid what, it's not possible to do anything about it anymore. Remember that, as a biological man, our members grow as we get older and it reaches a point where it is already definitive. Unfortunately, surgery (as you should know) mostly removes the penis, leaving only the useful parts for vaginoplasty.
So, any procedure that you want to carry out to recover some of what was lost, involves the reconstruction of the penis. Let's say you're faced with a trans guy situation, only your clit won't believe it and some sort of sensation might be lost in the process.
Hi, friend. 😀
I have asked myself the same question, and I have come to the conclusion that yes, I'm attracted to post op girls. Don't misinterpret my comment, but somehow I'm on the same journey as you.
I have read a lot in this forum and I have tried to draw on the personal experiences of those who kindly share their modus vivendi. So personally, I don't think I'm living in some kind of lie, since I would be with a person with similar goals as mine.
Greetings.
Hi, friend.
I'm afraid what, it wouldn't be possible to do something about it, you would probably have to resort to phalloplasty to recover some of what was lost.
In this same forum, I found a guy who asked something similar, but the answer was negative, since at some point in your life, the member growth process occurred and at the time of the surgery it was eliminated in a total percentage. That is, your clitoris (glans) will not grow again by hormonal and/or surgical means.
I hope I've helped. And I wish you a lot of light in the decision you make, it will be the right one for you.
Greetings