This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally intelligent perspective that aligns with a genuine detransitioner/desister experience. The user discusses personal history (starting T, family dynamics), complex feelings about medicalization, and a developed philosophy on gender and butch identity that shows deep personal reflection, not scripted talking points. The tone is passionate but reasonable, which is expected given the sensitive topic.
About me
My journey started when I was young after I became obsessed with a transgender YouTuber, which made me think transitioning was the answer. I took testosterone for over a year and liked some changes, but I grew worried about my health and had a sudden realization that I didn't need to be a man. Now, I'm detransitioning and understanding myself as a butch lesbian, which for me means being a woman who rejects forced femininity. I'm keeping the deeper voice and facial hair from testosterone because that is part of my womanhood. I've learned that being a woman isn't a performance, and I finally feel like I'm just being myself.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and I’m still figuring a lot of it out. It started when I was really young, around 10 to 12 years old. I found a transgender YouTuber who I became completely obsessed with. They were a female who transitioned to male, had blue hair, and made a lot of videos about adult toys and prosthetics. I watched their "Trans 101" playlist, listened to their podcast religiously, and I even named my cat after one of theirs. Looking back, I have no doubt that consuming so much of that content was the main reason I started my own social transition so young. It felt like I had found an answer.
I went on testosterone for over a year. I liked some of the changes it gave me, like a deeper voice and some facial hair, but I also had complicated feelings about it. I’ve always had natural hormone imbalances, so the effects of T sometimes felt similar to that, which was a strange feeling. I am worried about potential health issues in the future, and that’s one of the big reasons I don’t plan on continuing hormone therapy.
My social presentation was never a huge issue for me because my friends and partner were always very accepting. They knew I was just figuring things out, and that was okay. My family, on the other hand, was never affirming. I thought about changing my name to something like 'Alex' because it’s close to my birth name, which I never liked for unrelated reasons, and my family already calls me 'Al' or 'Ali' sometimes.
Everything changed for me after that year on T. I went from being perfectly content to live my life as a trans man to… not. It was a sudden and frightening shift. I realized I didn't need to be a man to be myself. This realization made me understand why some people in the trans community can be hostile toward detransitioners. It reminds me of how some Christians talk to people who leave the faith—using a "no true Scotsman" fallacy. They say you were never really trans to begin with because if they admit you were once like them, they have to ask themselves the uncomfortable question: "Could I detransition, too?" And that’s a scary thought.
Now, I’m beginning the process of detransitioning. But for me, detransitioning doesn’t mean going back to performing a stereotypical kind of femininity. I’ve come to understand myself as a butch lesbian. Being butch isn't about wanting to be a man or be seen as masculine. For me, it’s about rejecting the stereotypical femininity that was forced on me and choosing to be wholly myself, even if that means people see me as aggressive or masculine. I still enjoy some stereotypically feminine things! Butches are still women, and we experience misogyny, often in specific ways because we are seen as a threat to the patriarchy for "stealing" masculinity from men.
I still have some facial hair from the testosterone. I still have a somewhat deep voice. I still won’t shave my body. And honestly? That is womanhood for me. It always has been. The only thing I might change about my appearance is to make myself more visibly a female butch so other women know I’m safe. I didn’t crawl out of the box of forced femininity bloody and bruised just to climb back into it. Detransitioning doesn’t mean you have to trade your blue hat for a pink bow. You can just take off the hat.
I think a lot of medical transition, including some surgeries, is just a medical way of dealing with insecurities created by external circumstances. I’m generally against that. It’s still cosmetic surgery, and "gender-affirming" isn't a magical excuse that makes it okay to encourage plastic surgery for body insecurities. I believe you should always seek therapy for body insecurities before relying on expensive and potentially dangerous surgery as a solution. Cosmetic surgery should be discouraged in favor of mental health services, unless it’s for a genuine quality-of-life improvement, like a breast reduction for back pain.
I don't have huge regrets, but I do have a lot of complicated feelings. I liked some effects of T, but I’m worried about the future health implications. I don’t regret the journey because it led me to a much healthier understanding of myself as a butch woman. I’m finally learning that being a woman isn’t a performance I need to put on. It’s just about being.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 10-12 | Discovered and became heavily influenced by a transgender YouTuber, which led to my interest in social transition. |
| 16 | Started testosterone (HRT). |
| 17 | After over a year on T, I realized I needed to detransition and stopped hormone therapy. |
| 17 | Began identifying as a butch lesbian and started the process of social detransition, embracing my female identity without conforming to feminine stereotypes. |
Top Comments by /u/lemonglass600:
not to name names, iykyk, but my favorite trans youtuber as a kid (10-12) was an FtM with blue dyed hair who did a LOT of adult toy and prosthetic reviews. their videos were my favorite thing for quite a while, i showed my supportive grandmother their trans 101 playlist and listened to their podcast (it had bees and limes in the logo, in case anybody’s trying to jog their memory) every time an episode came out.
this person was later accused of abuse related to giveaways and treatment of their friends, a lot of stuff i don’t fully remember. funnily enough, one of my cats was named after one of theirs.
i have no doubt watching so many of these videos was the main reason i started social transition so young.
you’re not wrong, that IS the proper medical way of looking at it. that doesn’t mean i don’t like the effects it’s had on me specifically, especially considering i’ve felt the same way about my completely natural hormone imbalances before i started HRT.
am i worried about potential issues in the future? yes, that’s one of the reasons i don’t plan on continuing it. do i still like what it’s done thus far? yes, i do. these ideas coexist and i’m navigating them with as much care towards myself and my desires and needs as i can.
i hate to make the comparison, but it really does remind me of how christians talk to people who leave the faith. ‘you just didn’t have enough faith, you just went to the wrong church, you weren’t raised right, you were never REALLY christian to begin with.’
it’s a no true scotsman fallacy through and through. the fact of the matter is if they have to consider that you were once like them, they’ll have to ask themselves… could i detransition, too?
and that’s an uncomfortable question! just like it is for a christian to ponder that they, too, could want to leave their faith at some point. no one wants to think that they might be wrong. they’d rather pretend that anyone who changed their mind was never really ‘like them,’ that they’re somehow special and immune to change.
the fact of the matter is, any day you could realize that transition wasn’t right for you. i realized after over a year on T, with very little warning. i went from being perfectly content to live my life as a trans man to… not. and that was frightening. i think that’s what they’re scared of.
ohhh yeah, don’t i know it. you should see my family, it’s receding hairlines all the way down.
i don’t think my social presentation matters much in fairness, none of my family is affirming and my friends and partner are VERY accepting of changes to my identity. they know i’m just figuring things out the same way they are, and that’s okay.
was thinking about changing the name i go by at least, since it’s VERY masculine. i was thinking about an ‘alex’ name, it’s close to my birth name (which i still don’t like very much, for unrelated reasons) and my family tends to call me ‘al’ or ‘ali’ so it fits well.
hello there! i want to start off by saying we seem to have a lot in common with our transition experience, at least from this post. similar age, similar timeline, somewhat similar family situation. to be clear i’m also just beginning the process of detransition. if you want to talk about any of that, i’m more than happy to chat, send me a message any time! i noticed most of these comments are feminization tips, so here’s what i can tell you beyond that:
you don’t have to change in any way you don’t want to. if you still want to be ‘masculine,’ you can. there’s nothing about it that makes you any less of a woman. women with pcos and beards are women. women with buzzcuts who work manual labor are women. women with deep voices who speak crassly are still women. the truth is, being a woman isn’t a performance you NEED to put on, although that’s what we’ve been taught. you can just be. that’s the only requirement. everything else is your preference, and your choice.
i still have some facial hair, i still have a somewhat deep voice, i still won’t shave my body, and honestly? that’s womanhood for me. it always has been. if i do anything to change myself it’ll be for my comfort and mine alone, not anyone else’s perception of me. the only exception would be making myself more visibly a Female Butch so other women know i’m safe. i’m not going to detransition just to go back into the box i crawled out of bloody and bruised the first time, you know? pretty much everything about you could stay the same, if you wanted it to.
detransitioning doesn’t have to mean taking off your blue hat and trading it for the pink bow again. you can just take off the hat. i hope that makes sense.
it’s all medical ways of dealing with insecurities created by external circumstances, which i’m generally against. i really don’t care if it’s technically ‘gender-affirming’ because it’s still cosmetic surgery no matter which way you cut it. sure, non-trans people can experience ‘gender dysphoria’ in that they can have insecurities related to how they are perceived as men or women. that’s not a good reason on its own to go and get surgical procedures. gender isn’t some magical excuse that makes it okay to encourage plastic surgery.
you should always seek therapy for body insecurities before relying on expensive and potentially dangerous surgery as a solution. unless it’s something that would genuinely be a quality of life improvement, i.e. breast reduction for back pain, cosmetic surgery should be discouraged at every turn in favor of mental health services. end of story.
hi, butch here! i think it's important to recognize, especially as you unpack gender-based biases, that butch and femme aren't just replacement boxes for male and female. they're not new genders with their own set of roles, they're just descriptors of how different lesbians might move through a gendered world.
i'd put it this way: i don't call myself butch because i WANT to be seen as masculine, or because i WANT to be 'manly.' i call myself butch because i reject the stereotypical femininity pushed on me and choose to be wholly myself, even if that means people perceive me aggressive and/or masculine. even if it means men are disgusted by me, hell, ESPECIALLY if men are disgusted by me.
i'm still just as female as someone who identifies as femme, and i still ENJOY stereotypically feminine things. butch isn't another box you have to squeeze yourself into, it's freedom from those boxes. femmes do the same thing in the opposite direction, saying 'i won't let men dictate how i'm meant to dress and behave, the way i appear and act is entirely by choice, not social pressure to appeal to men.'
if you really want to be like butches, embrace the things you like, regardless of the gender norms associated with them. lots of butches really enjoy crafts, actually! i wish i could find it but i think there's an old comic of two 'hypermasc' butches falling in love over knitting and cats. these are things we enjoy, too. we're not men. we're women just like you, with interests just like yours! with high pitched voices and long hair like yours!
trying to cram into the box of masculinity won't serve you, only accepting yourself wholly for who you really are can do that.
just realized i should add onto this, butches are still TREATED as women. we experience misogyny in many of the same areas, but also in different ways, usually through vehement disgust at our stereotypically 'masculine' features that are supposedly to be respected. specifically BECAUSE we are still seen as women. from a patriarchal standpoint, women shouldn't be masculine, it's unnatural, it 'steals' something from men, it should be 'corrected.'
this is why some straight men are attracted to butch lesbians specifically because they want to 'fix' us. they target us for assault because we 'threaten their manhood.' WE ARE LIKELY TARGETS. the patriarchy is not sympathetic to us. it sees us as a threat.