This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's comments are highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and contain specific, consistent details about their detransition/desistance journey (e.g., surgical history, emotional processing, specific product recommendations). The passion and frustration expressed are consistent with a genuine individual who has experienced this difficult path. The advice is supportive, detailed, and mirrors common themes found in the community.
About me
I started feeling incredibly uncomfortable in my own skin when I hit puberty, and I hated developing breasts. I found online communities that labeled my feelings as dysphoria, which led me to identify as a trans man and pursue top surgery and testosterone. Over time, I realized my desire to transition was rooted in low self-esteem, and I deeply regret having bottom surgery. I have since detransitioned, had breast reconstruction, and completed voice therapy to help me live as a woman again. Now, I understand that I needed to change my mindset, not my body, and I finally feel at peace.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started because I just felt so uncomfortable in my own skin, especially when I hit puberty. I hated developing breasts; they never felt like they belonged to me and were just incredibly uncomfortable. I spent a lot of time online and found communities that made sense of those feelings by calling them dysphoria. That led me to identify as non-binary first, and then later as a trans man. It felt like I had finally found an answer.
I ended up getting top surgery in June of 2022. At the time, it felt like the right thing to do. Being flat-chested was a huge relief; it felt like I had finally fixed a big problem. I also took testosterone for a while. But after some time, my perspective on everything began to slowly change. I started to realize that a lot of my desire to transition was wrapped up in a harmful view of myself. I had really low self-esteem and I think I was trying to escape from being me.
I don't regret the journey itself because it taught me so much and made me who I am today, but I do have some specific regrets. My biggest regret is having bottom surgery. That's something I deeply wish I could reverse, and if I could, I would go to a million doctors to try and find a way. It's a permanent reminder of a choice I made when I was viewing myself and my body through a distorted lens.
Processing that regret has been like going through all the stages of grief. I've had to cry and scream "why" at the sky. What has helped me is to acknowledge the decisions I made without getting stuck in the sadness. I tell myself that I've been a woman longer than I was living as a man, and now I can just let my body be without having to constantly inject anything to maintain an identity. I've made up for what I felt was lost time by living and presenting as a woman every single day.
After I detransitioned, I got breast reconstruction. I wanted to feel feminine again and I love wearing clothes like v-necks that show a little cleavage. It was important that my reason for getting reconstruction was about what I wanted for myself. My insurance in New York covered the reconstruction and even voice feminization therapy, which helped a lot. I can't remember the last time I was misgendered.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's a very personal and complicated thing. For me, "being trans" wasn't the harmful part—it was the way I viewed myself that was harmful. I needed to change my mindset, not my body. I'm finally in a place where I feel fulfilled and at peace with myself.
Age | Year | Event |
---|---|---|
- | June 2022 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy) |
- | - | Took testosterone for a period of time |
- | - | Had bottom surgery (phalloplasty), which I later regretted |
- | - | Stopped taking testosterone and began socially detransitioning |
- | - | Underwent breast reconstruction surgery |
- | - | Completed voice feminization therapy |
Top Comments by /u/lesbianabratz:
First off, what you tell yourself makes a huge difference about how you feel about your body. I know it’s going to sound stupid to you but you do have to change your mindset because I felt this way too. I thought that saving up was shameful, I wanted to kill myself and end the mistake there. But, out of nowhere I got this job that had this insurance that magically covered the procedure. I don’t know where you live but I am in NY, and I am positive that if you have medical insurance you can definitely get some of it covered or even the entire thing.
Here is the bra that I was using until I got my surgery. Lervanla Sujetador de silicona... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CMT312LD?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
what state do you live in? i was able to get breast reconstruction and voice femininization therapy covered by insurance and i don’t remember the last time i was misgendered. (nyc)
i was in your shoes too but i will say, for most people it can take up to maybe 2 years, especially if u took testosterone for a long time. just like the first time, transitioning will take a while. please be patient and don’t let this blind u from any possible opportunities and beauty of the world.
the way i have handled it is by acknowledging and accepting the decisions that i made. in order to process regret you have to go through all those stages of grief and not get caught up in anything.
obviously take ur time to cry and scream WHY into the sky.
i feel like i have made up for my lost woman time by living and presenting as a woman everyday. like you said, you have your whole life ahead of you.
what has really helped me is telling myself that i have been a woman longer than i have been a man and now i won’t have to keep injecting myself to keep up with something. you can quite literally just sit back and let your body work.
regretting bottom surgery really sucks tho and if i were in your shoes i’d try to reverse things as best as i could. i’d go to a million doctors and i’d consider a million options.
but at the end of the day, you’ll believe anything you tell yourself. please don’t sink too deep into this hole of regret, you deserve to be happy and thrive.
yeah. different perspectives definitely matter because “being trans” never felt harmful to me, it’s just the way i viewed myself that was the harmful part. i will always cherish and look back on that experience because it made me the cool person i am today. it was part of my path and journey as a human being and i probably wouldn’t have felt so fulfilled without it.
hey!! i just recently got reconstruction and was feeling a little similar. i got top surgery june 2022 and i was really worried that i’d regret the surgery—because like you said, shit was comfortable 😩
i think a lot of us can agree that boobs are fucking uncomfortable and that first time i felt the underboob sweat again i contemplated everything.
for me it was the versatility of being able to be flat chested whenever i wanted and have fillers whenever i did. but now that i have reconstruction i wouldn’t wear a binder (i don’t think i can anyways)
for context, i am really fem presenting and i love showing a lil cleavage, v necks and all that shit. i got boobs again because i wanted boobs. i think it’s worth asking yourself WHY you want boobs, and if it’s a reason having to do with anything about how YOU feel and what YOU want, then act accordingly to YOU.
i hope my perspective gives you some insight and if you go through with the surgery i hope things are well and that you are safe.