This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally complex personal narrative about starting, stopping, and reconsidering HRT, which aligns with the genuine, passionate, and often conflicted perspectives found in the detrans community. The advice given is detailed, personal, and pragmatic, which is not typical of bot behavior.
About me
I started transitioning medically because I felt a deep discomfort and hoped becoming more feminine would help. At first, the hormones were an emotional relief, but I always felt like I was faking it in public. I stopped after two years to check my fertility, and the emotional crash was overwhelming. I'm back on hormones now, which has stabilized me, but my view is more complicated. It helped my dysphoria enough to focus on my future, but it also made me realize this path isn't a simple solution for everyone.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and confusing, and I’m still figuring it out. I never felt strongly like a man or a woman; I’ve always just felt like me. My personality has a mix of what people call masculine and feminine traits. I decided to transition medically to try and alleviate a deep discomfort I felt, which I called dysphoria. I hoped that by changing my body to look more feminine, that sadness and pressure would go away.
Starting hormone replacement therapy (HRT) was a big deal. At first, it did help my emotions a lot. Growing up, I’d learned to hide my feelings, especially crying, because it wasn’t seen as acceptable for a guy. When I started HRT, I finally let all those emotions out. I cried a lot for the first few months, and then I felt really stable. Emotionally, it was a relief.
But socially, transition was really hard. Even when people were nice or accepting, I constantly felt like I was faking it. I was always hyper-aware of how I sounded and looked. I’d hear my voice and wish it was a normal female voice. I’d see my hands in pictures and think they were obviously not feminine. I was always comparing myself to other women and worrying that people felt pity for me or thought I shouldn’t be doing this. When I was alone or with close friends, I could be happy with myself. But in public, I often wished gender wasn’t a thing at all, so I could just be myself without this constant pressure.
I also started thinking a lot about the long-term. I realized that even with hormones, everyone ages. While estrogen might keep your skin softer and help with hair loss longer, there are health risks, especially from the testosterone blockers. I felt it was important for people to know that these medications aren’t without consequences.
After being on HRT for almost two years, I decided to stop. I needed to see how I felt without it. The emotional crash was intense. All the control I had built up over my emotions was gone. I found myself crying in the car on the way home from work or getting really upset if someone used a bad tone with me. I didn't want to leave my house except for absolute necessities. The stress and sadness were overwhelming.
Going back on HRT later helped stabilize my emotions again, but the experience of stopping made me reevaluate everything. It made me value what I had and what I had learned about myself. A big reason I stopped was to see if I could regain my fertility. I stopped for six months, got my fertility tested, and it was in the low-normal range. I have some sperm stored, but I’m not even sure if I’ll use it because I’m still trying to understand my sexuality.
Looking back, my main goal was always to improve my life. Transitioning, for me, wasn't about becoming a woman in some perfect way. It was about trying to feel better. I’ve come to believe that there's no one right way to transition. For some people, it's taking hormones, for others it's just dressing differently sometimes, and for others, it's just talking about their feelings. It has to be about what works for you.
I don’t have strong regrets, but I do have a more complicated view now. Transition made some things easier and other things much harder. It helped with my dysphoria enough that I can now focus on other life goals, like building a career or a future for myself. I think it’s crucial for anyone considering this to really think about their future. Where do you want to be in 5 or 10 years? How will transition affect your goals, your relationships, and your health? It’s a big decision, and it’s not for everyone. For me, it was a step I needed to take to understand myself better, even with all the difficulties.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my comments:
My Age | Event |
---|---|
Late Teens / Early 20s (exact age not given) | Started Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). |
After ~2 years on HRT | Stopped HRT for the first time. |
6 months after stopping HRT | Got fertility tested; results were in the low-normal range. |
Sometime after fertility test | Resumed taking HRT. |
(Current) | Still on HRT, focusing on life goals and figuring out my sexuality. |
Top Comments by /u/lilith_linda:
You have all the right to be angry, but try to look the positive side, you didn't make any permanent changes to your body (for what you describe), you're still very young, barely starting to live, you may not see it now, but you will come to understand it
The time you lost is gone forever, grieve it if you need to, but don't get stuck on that thought, not for long.
Set up some goals for you, how do you picture your life in 5 or 15 years? Move towards that, you have the time on your side.
Because even if they look great, people will always have insecurities, so it's more like putting yourself out there to have a second opinion.
Sharing your happiness, just like those pictures of people taking vacations on Facebook, you tend to share the good things and hide the bad ones, it's hard to admit when we mess up or when things don't go as planned.
Even with hormones we all age and deteriorate, it's part of life, feminine hormones will help you to keep your skin soft and your hair from falling for a longer time, but they come with side effects and there is a health risk on taking them (especially T blockers).
You can take them, but be mindful of the long term side effects and the risk for your health.
HRT has worked great for me, as expected.
Socially, transition is a mixed bag, people are accepting or maybe just being nice, but I constantly feel like I'm faking it, trying to be something I'm not, I wish I could picture myself as just being normal but I can't, every time I talk I hear my voice not being what I want, I just want a normal female voice, I see my hands in pictures and they are obviously not feminine, I'm constantly comparing myself to others and thinking how others feel about me, maybe feel pity for me or think I shouldn't do what I do.
I'm happy with myself when alone or with close friends, but sometimes I wish gender wasn't a thing so I could be myself and not feel this sadness and pressure, or just not being trans and fit better on society.
Hopefully it will revert now that you stopped taking it, maybe not completely but to an extent. Eat well, drink water, and avoid direct Sun exposure as much as possible, the sun ages you prematurely, way worst than testosterone.
Good luck girl!!! 🍀🍀🍀
I was on HRT for almost 2 years before stopping, the timeline may be different for you but it is very possible everything will go back to normal, the size of the gonads, and ejaculation go back to normal after 3 or more months, I tested for fertility at 6 months and it was in the low side of the normal range. Be patient and good luck, also going to the doctor is never a bad idea :)
You can always do it later, do it for you, not because you feel forced by any commitment.
There is no hurry to start transitioning now, even if you wait until you're 20 or older, there won't be much difference, testosterone is very fast acting and the changes are irreversible.
Give yourself some time to figure things out, losing a little of credibility is nothing compared with a life of regret, listen to the experiences of others here, transition is not for everyone.
As you said, using it is expensive, even if you manage to store it in the first place IVF is many times more expensive, and surrogacy is out of reach for most people.
I had to stop HRT 6 months to regain fertility, I have some stored, but now I don't even know if I will ever use it as I'm still trying to figure out my sexuality.
Find a goal worth of living your life for it, build something, a family, a business, etc. Acquire new skills, make it your identity, what you have built and what you can do, rather than just your sex.
Men can live frugally while they accomplish their dreams, men are not expected to invest as much as women in their appearance, that unlocks lots of time you can invest on your future or just time for relaxing.
Whatever path you decide to take, good luck 🍀🍀🍀
I don't know how common my experience stopping HRT can be, growing up I used to cry a lot, it is shunned by society, more harshly in men, around the end of middle school I learned to control my emotions (more like ignoring and avoiding others), sometimes still crying at night or just waiting until no one was around.
When I started HRT I let everything out, I would cry a lot the first few weeks or months, and then I got really stable in my emotions.
When I stopped HRT I started to get more sensitive again, this time without the "control" I had growing up, I would cry in my car all the way home from work or when people said something to me in a bad tone. I didn't want to leave the house except for work and minimal grocery shopping, lots of stress and sadness.
Back to HRT, I would cry less and less for the first few months, now valuing more what I have and what I learned.