This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments show:
- Internal consistency in their personal story (e.g., timeline of being on/off T, specific physical and emotional challenges).
- Complex, nuanced views that evolved over time, including self-reflection on trauma, mental health (BPD diagnosis), and internalized misogyny.
- A supportive and empathetic tone toward others, which is consistent with a genuine support community member.
- Acknowledgment of the difficulty of detransition, which aligns with the expected passion and frustration mentioned in the prompt.
The account does not display the repetitive, agenda-driven, or simplistic language often associated with inauthentic accounts.
About me
I started transitioning in my early twenties because I felt lost and thought being a man would give me a clear identity. I was on testosterone for a year and a half, which gave me permanent changes like a deep voice and body hair that I now struggle with. I later realized my dysphoria came from trauma, internalized misogyny, and a personality disorder, not from being born in the wrong body. I've detransitioned and now see that being a woman just means I'm female; it doesn't define my personality. While I regret some permanent changes, the journey helped me finally understand and accept myself.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated. Looking back, I see now that a lot of my feelings were tangled up with other issues I hadn't dealt with. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, which explains a lot about my unstable sense of self and why I latched onto the idea of being trans so strongly. It gave me a clear identity and a sense of direction when I felt completely lost. I also think my upbringing in a Christian environment played a big part in causing my dysphoria, feeding me ideas that I’ve since recognized as internalized misogyny.
I never felt like I fit in with other women or related to female stereotypes. I have more of a "bro" type personality, and I mistook that discomfort with gender roles for being transgender. I now realize I'm just a neurodivergent woman with a dominant personality and some trauma. Watching a TV character who was similar to me, Reagan in Inside Job, was a huge moment of clarity. It made me feel seen and understood for the first time, and I realized I wasn't a man—I was just me.
I started my transition socially and then medically. I was on a pretty high dose of testosterone for about a year and a half. The physical changes were significant. I became very hairy, and now, even though I've been off T for over a year, that body hair is permanent. It’s a constant struggle to manage; I get terrible ingrown hairs when I shave and I’ve looked into at-home laser removal, but it's a lot of effort. My voice dropped permanently, too. I still get mistaken for a man on the phone, and people often ask for my pronouns because I look female but have a deep voice. I’ve learned to accept it, and sometimes I even find it fun to confuse people. I joke that my transition was the biggest prank I ever pulled.
I didn't have any surgeries, but I did have my fallopian tubes removed for personal reasons unrelated to transition. I've never wanted children, so I don't regret that specific decision, and I know that for anyone who does become infertile from hormones or surgery, there are other ways to become a parent, like adoption.
My thoughts on gender have completely changed. I don't really believe in gender identity anymore, at least not for myself. To me, being a woman just means I'm female. It doesn't define my personality, my interests, or who I am. Your gender really only impacts what bathroom you use and who you have sex with; the rest is just you as a person. I kept the masculine name I chose during my transition because I like it, and I think the idea of "boy names" and "girl names" is stupid.
Do I regret transitioning? It's complicated. I absolutely regret some of the permanent physical changes, like the facial hair and the voice. But I don't regret the journey itself. When I started, I was suicidal, and transition gave me something to hope for. It was a path forward that helped me start thinking about my issues. I learned so much about myself and about gender roles that I might not have learned otherwise. I came out of it with a much better understanding of myself.
Detransitioning was hard, especially telling my mom after all the effort it took to get her to accept my transition. But she was surprisingly supportive. Being part of this detrans community has been a lifesaver. It's a safe place to talk without judgment. I still support trans people and their right to transition, but I hate how it's often advertised as an easy, one-size-fits-all solution. It's not. It's a major medical decision with lasting effects, and it should be a last resort for severe dysphoria. If you can work through your issues with therapy and self-love, you should. I wish I had realized sooner that my problem was depression, trauma, and internalized misogyny, not that I was born in the wrong body.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early 20s | Started socially identifying as transgender and began living as a man. |
| 23 | Started testosterone therapy. |
| Around 24.5 | Stopped testosterone after approximately 1.5 years. |
| 25 | Received diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. |
| 25 | Officially detransitioned, resumed living as a female. |
| 26 (Present) | Over a year off testosterone, continuing to adjust and accept my body. |
Top Comments by /u/lilkittysparrowboy:
Honestly, I'm just so glad there's a safe place here to talk about detransitioning. Everyone in this sub has been amazing in all my interactions and it's really nice to not have our support community overrun with anti-detrans propaganda and militant alphabet soupers.
I mean, even now, in the middle of my detransition, I support trans people and their right to transition wholeheartedly. I just wish transition wasn't advertised like this exciting, easy, one-size-fits-all, end-of-your-troubles miracle. I wish that I had realized I was depressed, traumatized, and a victim of internal misogyny, and not trans, a lot sooner.
While I am still a staunch LGBT ally, as well as someone who fully understands the "trans issues," it really hurts when the trans community pretends I don't exist, that I wasn't hurt by their "break all the eggs" motto, and treats me like I invalidate their existence and am the enemy.
Oh, well. I'll keep on loving and hope that someday I learn to think harder before making these kinds of choices about my body and health. Thanks for being here, r/detrans.
I hear you. Please give yourself some time. You're hurting a lot but it will get better. I'm over a year off T and my voice has softened a ton, my features have gone back a lot, everything feels so much more normal and doable. You're at the beginning of this journey but there is an end in sight. It will all be okay.
It sounds like you are struggling with some other body image problems and that the changes from T are just your current fixation. Try to love yourself separately from your appearance. I promise you don't look as badly to others as you do to yourself.
You are having a hard time, and that's okay. Mental health is a tough one to get a hold on. Please try to be patient and kind to yourself while you're figuring things out.
It'll be okay. ❤️❤️❤️
Aw geez... It is, isnt it? I hadn't thought of it quite that way. Now that I think about it, it's a lot scarier than I realized. I kind of feel like we're going to end up with another episode of witch-hunting, maybe something like the red scare. Report your neighbors for not being woke enough, or something. Idk.
I think you need therapy to sort some things out. Not all straight men think like that. There's nothing wrong with not wanting certain kinds of sex, but your reasoning screams distrust and trauma.
If you're attracted to men but convinced that all straight men are perverted, misogynistic assholes, that's the problem here.
Yes, there are straight men who like being pegged. You also need to talk to a professional about your fear of men and your gender issues.
Yes. I am now diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, characterized by a lack of stable identity and wild mood swings. No wonder I was willing to latch onto something like gender transition to feel like I had direction and knew who I was.
I still don't know who I am, but I now realize that changing myself like that isn't the solution.
Watching the first season of Inside Job and realizing that all the reasons I had for thinking I was trans were Reagan's personality traits.
Made me realize why I felt so out of place.
I'm not a man, I'm just a neurodivergent women with a dominant personality type and trauma.
The character made me feel seen and understood in a whole new way and gave me a lot of insight as to why I felt the ways I did.
I relate to your post a lot. I think you made the right decision going off T. You can always transition later if it turns out it's a good idea for you, but it's a lot harder to detransition if it turns out it's a bad idea for you.
I feel a lot of gender identity confusion personally because I don't relate with other women or with what the stereotypes or beliefs of society say women are. I think women are great, and I have a lot of respect for the women in my life, but I just don't relate. This wasn't a good enough reason to do to my body what I did. I have a lot of regrets about transition and I wish I could have accepted myself as a gender non-conforming female earlier. I don't need hormones or surgeries for it to be okay that I'm more of a "bro" type personality.
And if anyone tries to use my boobs or round face as an excuse for treating me like a female stereotype, I have no problem laying into them to let them know just how wrong they are, and how fucked up it is to stereotype people based on their anatomy.
Transition is a last ditch effort to try to treat agonizing dysphoria. If you can get through your gender issues without transition, you should. Transition is not easy and not very reversible and it does have long term health effects. I hate how it's advertised as an easy-peasy one stop shop for euphoria. That's not how it works.
I can't recommend therapy enough. Even if you don't want to do therapy, PLEASE take the time to learn to love yourself as you are. The body is not an apology.
To me, it's not about whether I feel like I'm a woman, it's more that it's not worth risking my health to take hormones. Being a woman isn't about anything, really. It mostly refers to biological sex, and in some cases a trans woman's identity. But to me, being a woman is just that I'm female and further than that, gender doesn't really factor into my identity.
Don't overthink it. It's just really not as big of a deal as a lot of folks make it out to be. Your gender really only impacts the bathroom you use and who you have sex with. The rest of your personality and identity has nothing to do with gender.
It definitely sucked to tell my mom that I was detransitioning after all the effort it took to get her to take my transition seriously in the first place. But I eventually sat her down and explained why I had wanted to transition in the first place, why I no longer wanted to, and why I think it's still important to respect trans people even if it turned out that I wasn't one.
She was surprisingly supportive and understanding. I was very lucky. I hope it goes well for you too.
Hey. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot.
I want to try to comfort you.
As a woman, I've been hurt by men. But I've also been hurt by women. People are cruel sometimes, but there are bad eggs in every bunch. It's popular right now to act like men are bad. There are some problems with certain men, but it's hardly reflective of the whole group. Some of the best, sweetest, most beautiful, kindest, and genuinely most wholesome people I've ever known are men. Some of the most evil snakes I know are women.
Try to focus on not generalizing. It sounds like you're using this negative generalization of men to hurt yourself. Please try not to. Being a man or a woman doesn't change what kind of a person you are. You can be a beautiful, loving person as either.
You are more than stereotypes, more than the hateful anti-men ideas being pushed online. I wish there wasn't so much acceptance for hatred towards men online. It's not okay. It's affecting men and male-bodied people. You are not bad because you are male. Being a man is not a bad thing.