This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments demonstrate a consistent, nuanced, and personal perspective. The user offers practical advice (CBT, self-acceptance), shares what appears to be lived experience ("something I still struggle with"), and displays a deep understanding of the community's concerns, including the distinction between sexual fantasy and identity, and the option to manage dysphoria without medical intervention. The tone is passionate but reasonable, which aligns with a genuine detransitioner or desister.
About me
I started feeling a deep discomfort with my female body as a teenager, especially when I developed breasts. I thought transitioning to male was the answer to my depression and anxiety, so I took testosterone and had top surgery. I eventually realized I was using transition to escape from trauma and internalized homophobia, and that my old problems were still there. I stopped hormones and now I'm learning to accept myself as a woman through therapy, even though I regret the permanent changes. My journey taught me that my true goal was always self-acceptance, not changing my body.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I felt a deep discomfort with my body, especially during puberty. I hated developing breasts; it felt alien and wrong. I also struggled with depression, anxiety, and very low self-esteem. Looking back, I think a lot of my feelings were tied to trauma and a deep unhappiness with myself, not necessarily with being female.
I found a lot of community and answers online that pointed me toward transition. I started identifying as non-binary first, but that quickly shifted to identifying as a trans man. I was influenced by what I read and by the friends I made in those spaces. It felt like the solution to all my problems. I thought if I could just change my body, the internal pain would stop.
I pursued medical transition. I took testosterone for several years and I got top surgery to remove my breasts. For a while, I did feel better. The initial high of taking action and the physical changes gave me a sense of control. But eventually, the old feelings of depression and anxiety came back, even stronger. I realized I had been using transition as a form of escapism, trying to run away from my problems instead of dealing with them.
A big part of my confusion, I now believe, was related to my sexuality. I am attracted to women, and I think I had a lot of internalized homophobia. The idea of being a lesbian was uncomfortable for me back then; it felt easier to think of myself as a straight man. I also had a problem with porn and sexual fantasies that involved being male. I confused those fantasies for a genuine desire to live as a man. I now know there's a huge difference between a sexual fantasy and actually living your day-to-day life as another gender.
I also suspect that I am autistic and that I have OCD. The way I obsessively fixated on gender and the idea of being trans feels very much like an obsessive thought pattern, not a true identity. My brain latched onto "transition" as the answer and wouldn't let go.
I decided to detransition. I stopped taking testosterone. It was a difficult and embarrassing process, worrying about people saying "I told you so," but I knew it was what I needed to do for my health. I don't regret transitioning in the sense that it was a path I had to walk to learn these hard lessons about myself. But I do deeply regret the permanent changes to my body, especially my top surgery. I am now infertile, and that is a serious loss that I have to live with.
I've benefited greatly from non-affirming therapy, specifically CBT, which has helped me learn to accept myself and cope with my dysphoria in healthier ways. I've learned that there are many ways to be a woman, and that detransitioning doesn't mean I have to conform to a feminine stereotype. I still have dysphoria, but I am finding ways to manage it without medical intervention. My goal now is self-acceptance.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started puberty; began to hate my developing breasts and feel intense discomfort with my body. |
| 16 | First started exploring gender identity online, influenced by what I read. |
| 17 | Came out as non-binary, then shortly after as a trans man. |
| 18 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 21 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 24 | Realized transition wasn't solving my underlying issues; began to question my decision. |
| 25 | Stopped testosterone and began the process of detransitioning. |
| 26 | Started therapy (CBT) to address underlying trauma, anxiety, and depression. |
Top Comments by /u/lingwalters:
i dont think its bad if the person doesnt regret it, and is happy living as their chosen gender. i just think there are other ways of dealing with gender dysphoria that dont require medical intervention, and that those options should be considered before medical transition. i think a lot of young people are medically transitioning before they are mature enough to make life altering decisions.
you shouldn't let concerns of hearing "i told you so" stop you from doing something thats important to you. it may be embarrassing to "come out" again, but it will be worth it, if this is what you want to do. your family may not understand, but gender identity is not fixed and can change over time. there shouldnt be shame in changing your mind. that said, you should try to make absolutely sure that this is what you want, to spare yourself another "i told you so" situation, if possible.
i feel like you might have OCD or something. these unwanted thoughts about being trans are really disturbing you. it sounds more like you are obsessing over whether or not you are trans, rather than obsessing about wanting to be a woman. i think maybe you should seek treatment for OCD.
if it did turn out that you were actually "trans" what would that mean for you? having gender dysphoria doesn't mean you have to transition, there are other ways of dealing with it.
i dont think youre trans. if you never thought you had gender dysphoria, or arent sure if you have it, you probably dont. if the trans stuff youre reading sounds awful to you, transition is probably not for you.
having a few gender swaping fantasies, doesnt make you trans. there is a huge difference between a sexual fantasy, and living your day to day life as a female. i used to work as a sex educator, and i know that its quite common for masc straight guys to be into pegging, crossdressing and femdom. thats why there is so much porn in these categories. its just not something they usually talk about, because of the stigma. it doesnt mean they want to actually be a woman.
it definitely seems like youre bisexual, but you don't have to put a label on your sexuality if you dont want to. in our society, there is a lot of stigma around men being gay or bi, but its nothing to be ashamed of. it may take time to gain some acceptance of your sexuality, but you can get there.
these thoughts that being trans means you'll end up having bottom surgery are pretty illogical. most trans women dont get bottom surgery. even if you are trans, it doesn't mean youll be castrated.
a lot of members of this group have found better ways than transition to deal with their dysphoria. even if it turns out that you are experiencing dysphoria, you dont have to transition.
so even if the worst case scenario happened, and it turned out that you are in fact "trans" it doesnt mean you have to do anything about it.
no one is going to convince you that you arent trans, but all the "evidence" youre giving, of why you might be trans, are not indicators that someone is trans... being close to mom, enjoying knitting as a kid, gender swap fantasies, being gnc... those are all pretty common in guys, and dont mean someone is trans.
i think its good that youre seeking treatment, with someone who seems trustworthy. youre very vulnerable right now, and i think the wrong doctor could be a bad thing.
i think most people who detransition or desist still have dysphoria, but just find healthier ways to cope with it. self acceptance is difficult and something i still struggle with. you can try therapy... cbt can be really helpful. i suggest getting some books on cbt and trying some of the exercises. there are many ways to be a woman. detransitioning doesnt mean that you have to start wearing dresses and having long hair.