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Reddit user /u/littlelunacy's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 16 -> Detransitioned: 22
female
low self-esteem
internalised homophobia
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
depression
influenced online
influenced by friends
homosexual
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account "littlelunacy" appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.

The comments display:

  • A consistent, nuanced, and evolving personal viewpoint over two years.
  • Self-reflection, personal anecdotes (e.g., changes from testosterone), and empathy for others.
  • A writing style with natural variations in tone, sentence structure, and the use of emojis, which is atypical for bots.
  • Passion and strong opinions, which are common and expected in this community given the subject matter.

About me

I started as a young girl who felt betrayed by my changing body during puberty and found what seemed like an easy fix online. I was heavily influenced into thinking I was a trans man, which was really just a way to escape my low self-esteem and internalized homophobia. My turning point was realizing this was a rejection of myself and that I needed to learn to accept my body. I stopped testosterone and now see myself as a gay woman, making peace with who I truly am. While I have some regrets, I see my transition as a difficult detour that ultimately led me back to myself.

My detransition story

My journey with all of this started with a deep discomfort during my female puberty. I felt a real sense of betrayal by my changing body, especially my developing breasts, and I hated the new kind of attention I started getting from men. It felt like my body was becoming something I didn't sign up for. At the time, the internet offered what seemed like a simple fix: the idea that this discomfort meant I might be trans. I now see that as very deceptive.

I started identifying as non-binary and then later as a trans man. I was influenced heavily by what I saw online and by friends who were on similar paths. I think a lot of my struggle was rooted in low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. I was running from myself, using this new identity as a form of escapism. I also see now that I had a lot of internalized homophobia; it was easier to think of myself as a straight man than to accept being a gay woman. I took testosterone for a while, and while I never had surgery, I desperately wanted top surgery because I hated my breasts.

A big turning point for me was realizing how much this was tied to a rejection of myself. I started to question the whole idea of being "born in the wrong body." I don't believe that anymore. I think what I experienced was a severe dissociation from my body, which is a sign of mental distress, not a true identity. I began to understand that the real challenge wasn't to change my body, but to learn to accept it because it's the only one I have. This was a hard road. It meant facing my demons and admitting that I had been hurt and felt unsafe for being different. It meant surrendering to what is and stopping the fight against my own nature.

I benefited from stepping away from gender ideology and focusing on radical self-acceptance. I've had to work hard on not needing outside validation to feel okay about who I am. I still struggle sometimes with feeling like I have to look a certain way to be a "real" woman, especially since I have a more androgynous look. I have to remind myself that women can look all kinds of ways. I also have some regrets about taking testosterone. It changed my body permanently; my breasts lost their natural lift and never fully recovered, which I'm pretty bummed about.

Now, I see myself as a gay woman. I've made peace with that. My perception of myself is what matters most now, not how others see me. I don't regret transitioning in the sense that it led me to where I am now, but I see it as a detour that was based on a misunderstanding of my own pain. The real work is the journey back to yourself.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

My Age Event
Around 12-13 Started female puberty; felt betrayed by my body and hated my developing breasts.
Around 16-17 Heavily influenced online; began identifying as non-binary, then as a trans man.
19 Started taking testosterone.
22 Stopped testosterone after years of questioning and realizing it was a form of escapism.
22 to Present (mid-20s) Working on detransition and self-acceptance; identifying as a gay woman.

Top Comments by /u/littlelunacy:

17 comments • Posting since May 26, 2022
Reddit user littlelunacy (desisted female) comments on the use of 'OFAB' terminology, questioning why the commenter doesn't just say 'female' for clarity.
74 pointsOct 20, 2022
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Out of curiosity, why are you using this terminology? Why not just say female? I get that the word woman has become utterly confused and dysfunctional but female makes it pretty clear who you are talking about without continuing to validate the rest of it with terms like ofab...

Reddit user littlelunacy (desisted female) explains that feelings of transphobia after detransition may stem from trauma, describing it as a defense mechanism involving splitting, shame, and aversion.
32 pointsApr 13, 2023
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You have been traumatized by the ideology, more than likely. A symptom of trauma is often aversion, sometimes disgust etc. Black and white thinking is a symptom also, good and bad, now trans to you could be "bad." This is calling splitting and it's a defense mechanism. If you have shame around having gone down this road, then it could be hard for you to feel fully, to have compassion for yourself and forgive yourself, so maybe you employ splitting in defense. This is pretty normal and it happens to me too

Reddit user littlelunacy (desisted female) advises a person with doubts to postpone top surgery, urging them to wait until age 25 to fully mature and avoid a permanent, drastic decision.
21 pointsMay 17, 2023
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because this is the "in" thing, it's cool for all the kids to do. plus OP has lived awhile as trans and having to undo it IS tough, that's true. but it is much better to live in reality and not do something drastic. OP, please, please for the love of God put this surgery off. Wait until you turn 25, revisit it then if you must, but don't do it now. You haven't fully matured and life is still largely confusing for most at this stage. Give yourself time to settle in to your body. Your friends will understand if they are true friends. Be honest with everyone that you are experiencing doubt and that you just need time to figure it out. Please don't do this to yourself.

Reddit user littlelunacy (desisted female) comments on the push for trans acceptance, arguing it puts LGB people at risk and questions if they are being manipulated by media and those in power.
19 pointsJul 28, 2024
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This is exactly it. The more they insist on pushing limits, the more actual lgb people that just want to LIVE.... are at risk. Now that you see it, you can't unsee it. And it just makes you wonder..... why are they pushing SO HARD? Are the LGB people being manipulated by the media and those in power, and to what cause? It feels like a sick joke to me, all of it

Reddit user littlelunacy (desisted female) advises against breast removal surgery for purely aesthetic reasons, encouraging self-love over surgical alteration unless the breasts are causing physical pain.
16 pointsApr 16, 2024
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I'm going to give a bit of a different response here. I would offer that.... if your breasts are causing you physical pain suffering, then it might be practical to get a reduction. However, if they are not, I would encourage to continue to sit with them and really consider why you want to remove perfectly good organs that are not otherwise causing you discomfort. I will never be an advocate for surgery just for the hell of it, because you are uncomfortable with the aesthetic of something and want it to be different... that's not really a great reason imo. At the core of the issue, is self worth and I implore all of us to continue working on self love and loving ourselves exactly where we are instead of altering something just because we can, and sort of chasing a never ending outside job that serves to cover up an inside issue. Again, this is only if your breasts aren't hurting you. If they are, then please, do what will bring you to homeostasis! But if they aren't, and you just don't like the appearance, sit with it a bit more. Again, this is just advice from a friendly stranger. Good luck!!!

Reddit user littlelunacy (desisted female) comments that men who like masculine and androgynous women do exist, sharing her own experience with an ex-boyfriend and encouraging others not to worry about presentation.
15 pointsMay 11, 2023
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They are out there! My ex boyfriend was really into my androgynous look and I've had a few others. It's something I have anxiety about too at times. I have this notion that men only want "feminine women" but it just isn't true. I actually prefer men that are androgynous as well, so it would only make sense that there are men who prefer the same! Try not to give it too much power. The person for you will be into you regardless of presentation.

Reddit user littlelunacy (desisted female) comments that transgender identity is a sign of mental distress, citing a disconnect from innate sex and a correlation with autism.
15 pointsJul 8, 2022
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Sorry but I respectfully disagree. Mentally well people don't "seem" to experience such a severe disconnect from their innate sex. Also, there seems to be a relationship between autism and being transgender as well, autism being a neurodevelopmental disorder and definitely considered a mental disorder. Just as an example.

I certainly don't intend to offend anyone here. But I really do see the transgender identity as a sign of mental distress in some shape, form or fashion. Thank you for sharing your insights, though. I am still considering what you've said even though I am firm on my belief. You haven't gone unheard so thank you for sharing this with me.

Reddit user littlelunacy (desisted female) explains how societal pressures and online rhetoric lead young women to transition, arguing that gender dysphoria is a sign of dysfunction and that true trans people are a rare minority.
14 pointsMay 26, 2022
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Came here looking for this one. Puberty sucks for everyone but girls especially come to really feel betrayed by their changing bodies and the attention they start to get. That kind of resentment plus the internet telling them their is a simple fix and thats how we wind up here. Very deceptive stuff going on. But yeah, I am extremely doubtful now because TRULY trans people used to be a very tiny minority of the population. And its a mental disorder! Its a sign of dysfunction to feel that strongly dissociated from your own body. And now suddenly everyone is trans? I call bullshit. Some folks are deceiving themselves and hiding under the label for various reasons.

I no longer subscribe to gender ideology, I really just don't buy that you can be born into the wrong body but that's my own opinion. I think you can experience dissociation from it but i don't think people are born WRONG. Either way instead of completely rejecting your body I think the challenge is to grow to accept that body because it's yours and it's the only one that you will ever have. But that's my two cents

Reddit user littlelunacy (desisted female) comments on the high correlation between Autism and perceived gender dysphoria, arguing true dysphoria is a disorder requiring help, not immediate hormones and surgery.
14 pointsJun 4, 2022
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I agree. I respect that label much more than someone insisting that they are something they aren't.

OP this post was very insightful, thank you. I think if more people were honest with themselves they would have stories similar to yours. It also seems to me that people with Autism seem to really struggle with what they think is gender dysphoria. There is a very high correlation there. But we all need to do more questioning and get to the bottom of the dis-ease. TRUE gender dysphoria is a disorder and you need help to move through it, not to get hormones and surgery with the bat of an eyelash.

Thank you for sharing this! 🙏🏾

Reddit user littlelunacy (desisted female) explains that transitioning stems from self-rejection and argues for radical self-acceptance of one's given body.
11 pointsDec 15, 2023
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In my opinion, it has to do mostly with a rejection of one's self, rejection of one's femininity. trans women are similar in that they reject their masculinity. it makes me really sad cause, like, this is the one body that we were given, the one body that has kept us safe all these years and enables us to do things and to think etc. and strong reactions against it just.... can't be good, it doesn't bode well. I really think that trans people need radical self acceptance, for who they really are truly in the skin that they have. anything outside of that constitutes loss imo. I don't think it's normal to hate one's self so much, it's disharmonious and points to DIS-ease or a lack of ease, illness.