This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake persona.
The comments show a consistent, nuanced, and personal viewpoint over several months. The user identifies as a straight, gender-conforming woman who holds gender-critical beliefs. She repeatedly shares a specific personal medical story (seeking treatment for fibroids) to argue against the use of certain drugs. The writing is complex, emotional, and contains detailed anecdotes, which is not typical of bot behavior. Her passion and anger are consistent with genuine, strongly-held beliefs on this sensitive topic.
About me
I'm a woman who almost made a huge mistake when I was younger because I hated the narrow expectations placed on girls and wanted to be strong like my brothers. My journey showed me that my discomfort wasn't with being female, but with the idea that I couldn't be a tough, independent woman. I am now deeply concerned that dangerous medical treatments are offered to young people who are simply uncomfortable with puberty, just as I was. I found true peace by accepting myself and working through my issues instead of changing my body. I am now happily heterosexual and finally comfortable in my own skin, and I regret that I didn't learn to love my own strength as a woman sooner.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started a long time ago, not because I wanted to transition, but because I saw so many others going down that path and felt a deep need to speak out about the dangers. I never medically transitioned myself, but I came very close to making a huge mistake when I was younger because I was deeply uncomfortable with the expectations placed on me as a girl.
When I was a kid, I hated everything girly. I wanted to be like my brothers—to play rough sports, lift weights, and play with their Hot Wheels cars. I felt small and weak and thought being a boy was the only way to be strong and have the freedom I wanted. I even went through a phase where I genuinely wanted to be a boy. Thankfully, no one pushed me toward that. My family just let me be me. I tried playing football and baseball, but I was terrible at them. I eventually found my own path in gymnastics and music, which became my career. When puberty hit, I wasn't immediately interested in boys, but that changed later on. I realized my discomfort wasn't about being in the wrong body; it was about not fitting into a narrow idea of what a girl should be.
I see now that my early feelings were a mix of puberty discomfort and low self-esteem. I didn't like the changes happening to my body, especially the development of breasts, because it felt like I was being forced into a role I didn't want. I thought strength and validity were masculine traits. It took me a long time to understand that I could be a strong, cursing, bike-racing, independent woman and still be a woman. I benefited from not having therapists who affirmed a trans identity; instead, I was just allowed to explore who I was without labels.
My views are shaped by my own experience and by what I've seen happen to others. I am deeply concerned about the medicalization of gender non-conformity, especially for young people. I had large fibroids and asked my doctor about Lupron. He refused to prescribe it to me, a 45-year-old woman, because the side effects—like bone loss, depression, and weight gain—were so severe. He said it was a dangerous drug. The fact that this same drug is given to children to stop their natural development is, to me, criminal. It halts their growth and can cause irreversible damage.
I also have strong opinions about surgery. I’ve spent a lot of time in online communities trying to warn people, especially young women considering phalloplasty. You are trading a functioning, healthy body part for a non-functioning imitation. Lifelong testosterone use comes with serious health risks, and a hysterectomy is a major surgery with its own consequences. I’ve said it before: as a straight woman who appreciates men, I would never be seriously involved with a man who had a surgically constructed penis. And from my conversations with gay men, they feel the same way about transmen. This isn't about hate; it's about the reality of sexual attraction and function.
I believe many people are pushed into transition by internalized homophobia, a desire to escape trauma, or because they are influenced by online communities and friends. They are sold a fantasy that surgery and hormones will solve their profound unhappiness, but it often just creates new, worse problems. You can’t solve a mental health crisis with a physical alteration. True peace comes from accepting yourself, with all your pain and complexity, and working through it.
I don’t regret not transitioning. I regret that I ever thought it was a solution. My only regret is that I didn’t learn to love my own strength as a woman sooner. I am now happily heterosexual and mostly comfortable in my own skin, even with all the annoyances that come with being female, like perimenopause. I believe in a world where people can be whoever they are without stigma—where a man can be sensitive and a woman can be tough—without having to change their bodies to fit in.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | Wanted to be a boy to do "boy" activities like sports. Felt small and weak. |
| Puberty | Experienced discomfort with breast development and female expectations. |
| Teen Years | Explored own interests in music and gymnastics. Realized attraction to boys. |
| 45 | Consulted doctor about Lupron for fibroids; was advised against it due to dangerous side effects. |
Top Comments by /u/littlerbear:
It's not transphobic to discuss the realities of SRS surgery, life-long hormone therapy, and the painful dissonance that comes when the world doesn't/won't/can't conform to your fantasy. That's called reality, and that's the majority of what I've seen discussed here.
It's also not transphobic for people to examine their reasons for transitioning and then decide that transition was a mistake. These are people who accepted themselves as trans people, immersed themselves in that identity and found that it didn't fit. Many have opted to get therapy and/or work on their own to establish an identity not centered on gender. Nothing transphobic there either.
Lupron was also given to women to shrink fibroids. When I asked my gynecologist for it, he wouldn't give it to me. He said it would cause premature menopause that might not abate once I went off the lupron; also said it would cause depression, bone loss, weight gain, and however much my fibroids shrunk when I was on it, they'd grow right back once I stopped it. Basically, it would be a lot of pain and suffering for no gain. Anyone giving this to kids is a criminal.
The NBC article debunking it isn't much better. They mention that lupron was given to men with prostate cancer as a palliative drug. Why would anyone give children a drug of last resort for people with advanced cancer? So while lupron may not have caused the deaths, it's still a powerful hormone blocker that was previously only given to people who were dying. Doesn't sound like something children should even be in the same room with; forget about putting it into their bodies.
Giving drugs to children that are judged by medical professionals to be too dangerous for adults is not ethical. Stunting children's growth and impeding their brain development is not the road to good mental/emotional health and self-acceptance. Maybe kids who are suicidal about anything need to be hospitalized and put on anti-depressants instead of being given drugs that will cause demineralization of their bones. Maybe the medical profession needs to establish a protocol of best practices to deal with severe depression/suicidal ideation/self-harm in kids with GID and gender dysphoria that doesn't involve stopping their physical and cognitive development. Maybe they won't kill themselves once they learn that there's a lot more to them than their body and other people's perception of them. Maybe if the OP was taught, by family and therapists that girls can be and are very strong, she'd feel better about her biological reality. Here's a little story: I wanted to be a boy when I was little because I wanted to hunt, play football, baseball. and basketball like my brothers; I didn't want to be tiny little sister. (I was a bit small for my age.) Anyway, no one 'transed' me as I played with my trucks and asked my brother to teach me to lift weights and how to play with his Hot Wheels cars. When I realized that I couldn't throw a football to save my life, thought basketball was boring, and baseball was damn near intolerable. I decided to take gymnastics. Then I started playing music and have made it my profession. I was given a chance to try these things though without anyone making any assumptions about my gender identity. Fast forward to puberty I wasn't attracted to boys for a while, then it hit one day like a meteor. I fell in love with a boy that I was in love with for 4 years. Here I am happily heterosexual, gender-conforming for the most part (I curse like a sailor and want to start bike racing next year; I also curse like a sailor on my bike) , and mostly comfortable with my female identity although I could seriously do without perimenopausal hot flashes.
I frequent Gender Critical, consider myself a radfem and have no hatred of trans people, feminine men or masculine women. My objections to SRS are that the surgeries frequently have less-than-desireable results and can leave people sexually dysfunctional or non-functional for the rest of their lives. SRS also, in many cases, doesn't alleviate the dysphoria and in some cases makes it worse. In other words, it can create more problems than it solves. My other objection to trans ideology is that it erases women while attempting to co-opt our biological reality. A neovagina is not the same as an actual vagina; a phalloplasty penis is not the same as a real penis, breast implants are not breasts, transwomen do not and cannot have periods, etc. If transitioning helps someone feel better about themselves, go right ahead; you deserve to be treated with respect like any other person. As a woman, I don't want to be 'othered' out of my identity, I don't want to have it redefined by people who are not women or who don't want to be women. Trans people are trans people. I don't want anyone to have dangerous surgery that won't help them; I don't want anyone to take medications that will harm them.
The OP's ex-wife made this decision based on what she believed would be best for the child. Even the OP acknowledges that his transition would have been confusing for the child. Despite wanting to be in his child's life, he respected his wife's wishes and kept his distance - this was the honorable choice. Wanting to re-connect with his daughter, now that she's an adult, has allowed his daughter to get old enough to make this decision for herself, show a great deal of maturity and courage. We can acknowledge the OP's strengths without pointing the finger at his ex-wife.
You also have no idea what the OP's parting with his ex-wife was like. Keep in mind that his wife entered into a relationship with a man, who she more than likely, assumed would remain a man for his entire life. The ex-wife had a lot of shock, pain, betrayal, sadness, anger, etc. to work through all while raising a child. She's a very strong person, deserving our admiration.
Calling Lucretia a prostitute makes you sound like you have some issues that need addressing.
Keep your healthy body. Testosterone can cause a lot of problems for women. As for phalloplasty - I can tell you as a straight woman and an appreciator of penises, I would never get seriously involved with someone who had a man-made dick. The gay guys I know also don't want to be with transmen.
You do not have to be 'girly'. I never was. I spent my teen years in band t-shirts and bermuda shorts. I had my cute clothes, but they were only deployed on special occasions. I called my catholic school uniform with the heavy polyester skirt 'the five-day penitentials'. I've gotten 'girlier' over the years, but I've also gone bike touring/camping for weeks - lots of sweating, no showers, lots of dirt - I love it. I also cuss like a sailor all the time. I swear more than my BF who's a construction worker.
I repeat: you do not have to be girly. What you do have to be is yourself. In order to learn who you are, you need to have your sensorium clear and not muddied up by cross-sex hormones or a lot of fantasy about how 'you can be a boy too.'
If you like softer, feminine men, they exist and may very well love to be romantically involved with you. All my BFs have been 'girlier' than I am, and they're straight. Case-in-point my construction worker - he loves cologne, sweet-smelling shower gel, he's vain about showing his very pale legs, he manscapes and even clippers his armpits. I shave nothing and never will. My point is, you can have the kind of partners you want by being a healthy strong, interesting, woman.
What do you like to do? Do you play an instrument? Play a sport? Are you into art? Writing? Spend time thinking about stuff that has nothing to do with gender. Center yourself on what - besides gender/genitals makes you who you are.
True. A surgeon said I'd be better having a hysterectomy for my fibroids than I would be taking lupron to shrink them. He cited depression, weight gain, bone loss, incontinence; wouldn't prescribe it. I had another procedure which shrunk them quite a bit. I think it's telling that a surgeon wouldn't give it to me because the side effects would be worse than having a major organ removed. Giving this to kids is absolutely criminal.
I agree. Transition is a blind alley for a lot of people. For some it even makes things worse - they hated the body they had, now they're in a mutilated body that gives neither them or anyone else pleasure. I can't imagine the stress and discomfort of worrying about how people perceive you all the time and basing your acceptance of yourself on what you imagine other people are thinking about you.
Anyone selling transition as a solution is unethical.
People transitioning does not make me feel bad. Everyone is entitled to live the way they want to live. My concern is that vulnerable people are making themselves subject to very risky surgeries and dangerous drugs. The fact that some people have good experiences does not change the fact that many people suffer great harm to their bodies and spirits.
As for trans people in women's spaces - I still get to decide who I do and do not share space with.