This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally intelligent perspective. The user shares personal experiences (like OCD and a childhood trauma), offers empathetic support to others, and engages in complex discussions, which are all behaviors atypical for an inauthentic account. The passion and frustration expressed are consistent with the stated experiences of detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort started with puberty, as I hated the changes in my body. I later realized my feelings were deeply connected to my OCD and depression, not my sex. I took testosterone for a couple of years, but it didn't fix my underlying mental health struggles. I stopped and now I'm focusing on treating my OCD and healing from body dysmorphia. I've come to believe my problem was never being the wrong sex, but learning to live with the one I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was really young, but I didn't understand what was happening until much later. I was born female, and from a very early age, I felt a deep discomfort with my body, especially when I started going through puberty. I hated developing breasts; it felt like my body was betraying me. I didn't feel connected to being a girl, and I definitely didn't feel like a boy. For a long time, I just felt like a mess of confusion and anxiety.
Looking back, I now see that a lot of my feelings were tangled up with other issues. I have OCD, and the constant, intrusive thoughts were a torment. My brain would get stuck on loops about my body and who I was supposed to be. I also struggled with very low self-esteem and depression. I think a part of me saw transition as an escape from all of that pain. If I could just become someone else, maybe I could be happy.
I started identifying as non-binary in my late teens. It felt like a safer way to step away from being a woman without having to fully commit to being a man. But the discomfort didn't go away. I was influenced a lot by what I saw online and by friends who were also exploring their identities. It felt like the only solution everyone offered was to medically transition. So, I eventually started taking testosterone. I thought it would finally make me feel at home in my body.
For a while, it did feel like it was helping. My voice dropped, and some of the changes made my body dysmorphia feel a bit quieter. But it wasn't a cure. The underlying issues—the OCD, the anxiety, the depression—were all still there. They were just dressed up differently. I started to realize that I had been trying to solve a problem with the wrong tool. My problem wasn't that I was born in the wrong body; my problem was that I hated the body I was in, and I had a brain that constantly attacked me.
I stopped taking testosterone after a couple of years. I’m now dealing with some of the long-term effects, and I worry about my fertility. I don't know if I can have children anymore, and that's a hard thing to sit with.
My thoughts on gender have completely changed. I now think "gender identity" is just a collection of personality traits, interests, and styles that we've decided to categorize as male or female. It feels counterproductive. It doesn't free anyone; it just puts us in new boxes. I also feel very strongly about the safety of women and girls. What happened to me as a child, when a man exposed himself to me, gave me this horrible feeling of being dirty and violated. Now, seeing that the law allows men into female-only spaces like locker rooms, and hearing about incidents where that is exploited, brings all those feelings back. It makes me want to cry that we're not allowed to talk about it without being called horrible names.
Do I have regrets? Yes, I do. I regret not understanding my own mental health better. I regret not seeking non-affirming therapy first, which is what ultimately helped me more than anything else. Getting on proper medication for my OCD changed my life and allowed me to see things clearly for the first time. I regret that I was influenced so heavily and that I made permanent changes to my body trying to solve a problem that was in my mind.
My journey wasn't all bad, though. I don't regret the community I found or the people I met. And I don't regret the self-exploration, even though it led me down a difficult path. It led me to where I am now, which is a place of much more understanding and peace. I'm still healing, and some days are harder than others, but I'm finally dealing with the root issues instead of just putting a bandage on them.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 8 | Experienced a traumatic incident that induced feelings of shame and disgust. |
| 13 | Began experiencing intense discomfort with puberty and developing breasts. |
| 19 | Started identifying as non-binary. |
| 21 | Started testosterone therapy. |
| 23 | Stopped testosterone therapy. Began proper OCD treatment and non-affirming therapy. |
| 24 | (Present) Living as a female, focusing on managing OCD and healing from body dysmorphia. |
Top Comments by /u/livikays:
“Gender Identity” is literally just style, personality traits, interests, hobbies, etc. in reference to what is traditionally common for each sex and categorizing it. I still can’t understand how people don’t realize how counterproductive this entire movement has been for everyone.
There’s nothing dumb about this post, everything you’re feeling is completely normal and understandable. Most people that have been through what you’ve been through feel the exact same way. I don’t know what country you’re in, but I live in the US and I know it can be really hard talking about detransition here, but the pain & trauma you’ve experienced is real and people need to hear it regardless how they feel. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this. I’m here if you ever want to talk. I promise it’s gonna get better.
I know it’s really overwhelming but I promise it’s gonna be okay. Even just by posting this, you’re doing good dude, you’re getting your feelings out and this is all just part of the process. Literally everyone does things that we later feel embarrassed or ashamed about. But over time, it gets easier. You got this.
You look amazing I’m so happy to see you happy!! I’m still new-ish to Reddit so I’m confused it says there’s 4 comments on this post but I can’t see any of them. But since you said questions are welcome, since stopping T, has there been any long-term effects?
I worry about the same thing. I finally made a Reddit account for the first time ever only maybe a couple months ago and I was shocked to see that it seemed like for 99% of subreddits, any kind of gender critical talk is prohibited. You will be banned immediately if you dare to ever even suggest that biological sex is real. Once I learned that, I assumed oh I guess I didn’t know Reddit must be a highly regulated site that doesn’t allow any content that’s “taboo” because they just don’t want to “rock the boat”. Imagine my surprise when I saw what they actually allow. As long as it’s directed towards women, it’s all free game apparently 🙃
I know it feels so heavy & overwhelming right now but I promise it’s gonna be okay. Feelings like shame, and embarrassment, and regret, and anxiety, and that constant loop in our heads “Ugh I’m so dumb, why am I like this?? No one else is this dumb, god I’m so crazy” these are all literally normal parts of the human experience! Our brains just love to keep us on our toes apparently. We feel like we’re so awful and so different than other people but in reality guess what I’ve learned, we’re all dumb a lot in our lives!! We all makes mistakes!!We are all literally just meat skeletons on a floating rock!!! I know it’s all easier said than done of course though. I’d love to hear more about your life & situation if you wanna share more
I actually get really emotional about this topic because it makes me feel like how I felt when I was around 8 years old and a man exposed himself to me at a grocery store. It induced such horrible feelings of shame and guilt and that “I’m yucky, I’m dirty” feeling. My mom had to explain to me that the reason “flashers” did what they did was because they got a sexual thrill from making you feel shocked and scared and disgusted, and it was really difficult to process as a child. So the fact that now there keeps being incidents of men using female locker rooms and spas to do that exact same thing and there’s nothing we can do about it because the law allows it makes me actually want to cry. And people make you feel like you’re not allowed to talk about it or you’re a horrible, horrible transphobic person.
When it comes to topic of intersex people, I’ve been reading a lot recently since the Olympics controversy has gotten people talking so much. What do you think about it all?
I ask because when you say that sometimes someone isn’t either gender, but instead both, do you think that they have a “base” sex and then the developmental condition makes it vary but lean one way or the other? Do you think chromosomes determine the person’s technical sex? (I’m genuinely asking because I’ve wanted to have genuine friendly conversation about this topic for a really long time and only recently learned this detrans sub is one of the only subs you can actually talk about it in)
I have OCD too and I know the constant torment of the intrusive thoughts and anxious worries is so painfully brutal. It’s so overwhelming and exhausting, I really feel like no one else can truly understand unless they’ve experienced it themselves. But I promise it’s gonna be okay. Getting on medication literally changed my life. I couldn’t believe how differently my brain functioned. Have you been to therapy or been prescribed medication before?