This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's story is highly detailed, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent over time. They discuss specific personal details (job at Dutch Bros, a fiancé, trauma history, the physical and social effects of HRT) that align with a genuine detransitioner/desister experience. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with someone who feels they were harmed by a lack of gatekeeping.
About me
I was a feminine girl who loved my style, but past abuse and an eating disorder made me hate being a woman. I thought becoming a man would be easier, so I started testosterone at 19 without any therapy, which I now see was a huge mistake. I was on it for over a year and deeply regret the permanent voice changes, especially losing my singing voice. Through therapy, I realized my transition was an escape from trauma, not a true identity. I've stopped hormones, am living as a woman again, and have found a self-confidence I never had before.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was messy and deeply tied to my mental health. I was a very feminine girl growing up and I loved things like long hair, makeup, and cute clothes like leggings and crop tops. But I had a lot of trauma from my past. My mom was emotionally abusive and my dad was outright abusive, especially because I looked like my mom. I developed bulimia and had incredibly low self-esteem. I hated being a woman because I felt like I could never be good enough or pretty enough. I thought navigating life as an unattractive man would be easier than as an unattractive woman.
I started transitioning when I was 19. I didn't have to see a therapist at all to get prescribed testosterone, which I now think is insane because I had a documented history of self-harm. I wasn't in the right headspace to make such a big decision. I knew the changes were permanent, but I don't think that reality really sank in for me. I was just so desperate to escape my past and my pain that I latched onto this new identity. It felt like a way to completely change my life and become someone new.
I was on testosterone for about a year and four months. My voice dropped a lot and I got even hairier. I lost my singing voice, which was really hard for me; the range was just gone. I dressed very differently, just in jeans, shirts, and hoodies. I missed my old feminine style. I even felt jealous looking at my old photos because I saw a girl who looked really good and I wanted her back desperately. I was actually getting ready to schedule my top surgery when I finally started to realize this wasn't what I wanted.
A huge part of my detransition was starting to see a therapist to sort through my feelings. I had to finally face the trauma and abuse that led me to want to escape in the first place. I had unhealthy coping mechanisms and transitioning was one of them. I was terrified to detransition, especially because I work at a coffee shop where we're all very close with each other and our customers. I was afraid people would think I was a man transitioning to be a woman and I'd have to explain that I was actually detransitioning. But my fiancé was supportive; he'd even joked in the past that he'd love me no matter what. My close friends were also incredibly kind and supportive, which helped so much.
I stopped testosterone and my body readjusted surprisingly quickly. Within two months, I was already being read as female again. I had been unknowingly voice training by singing female parts in songs, trying to get my range back. I found a new sense of self-worth and confidence that I never had during my entire transition. I started glowing again.
I don't think I'm trans. For me, it was never really about having a male brain in a female body. It was about trauma, low self-esteem, and using transition as an escape from my problems. I deeply regret taking testosterone. I regret the permanent changes to my voice most of all. I believe no one should be allowed to medically transition until they're at least 18, and there needs to be proper therapy involved to make sure people aren't doing it because of trauma or poor mental health. I'm an example of why that process is so important.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 20 | Was on testosterone for 1 year and 4 months. Was preparing to schedule top surgery. |
| 20 | Stopped testosterone and began to detransition. |
| 20 | Two months after stopping T, was being read as female again. |
Top Comments by /u/lostandconfusedbee:
I think so too, I think I was just so awfully insecure my entire life and figured navigating through life as an unattractive man was an easier path than as an unattractive woman but I’m glad I’ve found my worth and I’m choosing the right path for me with a new sense of self worth
Some of my regulars at work asked me if I was a trans women, all my coworkers would’ve never guessed I had transitioned 😂 I did look like a guy but I have found self love and confidence and I’m glowing now and that’s something I didn’t have during my entire transition
I’m so sorry girlie 🥺 My voice dropped a lot and I was already very hairy before T but I got lucky. I was getting ready to schedule my top surgery when I decided for sure that this isn’t what I wanted. I think we have to remember that women do not owe being conventionally pretty to society. The things that T changes are things that other women who never took it struggle with as well, mastectomies,etc. but women are strong and stunning all in their unique ways and in how they carry themselves! I hope you find peace one day
I think it was a lot of trauma. I had a very emotionally abusive mom and an abusive dad (because I looked like my mom) I was struggling with a bad case of bulimia. I had very low self esteem and self worth, I hated being a woman since I thought I was never gonna be good enough and idk I was in such a bad headspace during the time I alienated myself from my family that I thought I’d I could completely change my identity and life that maybe I would be happier and I was for a little bit (especially since men aren’t held to the same standard as women in regards to appearance) but bad coping mechanisms and lying to yourself only hold strong for so long
I’ve only been off t for almost two months (on it for 1 year 4 months) and I thought my voice was lightening which was wild but I’ve just been unknowingly voice training (singing female parts/ranges in songs and rolling with the voice cracks because I wanted my range back) I definitely sound female and already get read as female It’s wild how are bodies can quickly readjust to things sometimes
Thank you! This was really well worded, I’m gonna talk to my fiancé tonight and I have a therapist appointment at the end of the month that’s coming up where I can hopefully come to a conclusion. I think I really undermined my trauma (I’m sure that’s something we all do at times) and I really should have thought about transitioning more but I have unhealthy relationship with coping mechanisms.. my fiancé has said in the past that he’d still love me even if I detransitioned but I’m worried that it wasn’t spoken very seriously but I have faith that we’re strong enough to overcome it especially if it means me being more comfortable in our skin and having a more exciting sex life haha. I spoke to two friends and they were very supportive and I’m sure a lot of my friends will be and I know that no matter what I do, not everyone will like or support me and that’s just how things are. My friends I spoke to emphasized that the most important thing is being true to myself even if I get backlash for it.
Regardless, being trans takes a huge toll on anyone and I think I’m a really good example that there needs to be more involvement of therapy before medically transitioning is an option, I didn’t even need to speak to a therapist despite having a documented record of self harm
And also, funny enough I was always very feminine, even for a little while after I began transitioning. I miss having long hair and makeup and I miss the fashion. Leggings, crop tops. Lately all I wear are jeans, shirts, and hoodies. I felt jealous of my old photos I looked really good and I’m wanting that girl back desperately
I’m seeing a therapist at the end of the month to sort through my feelings and will probably keep going afterwards during this process. I never want to talk about my past but it’s affected my life so much years later that I cannot keep it all internalized. And thank you! I’ll for sure look at that Reddit. My father was a self proclaimed narcissist
I think it’s all unfair. I believe in letting people do what they want with their bodies as long as it isn’t harming anyone else and I will never shame anyone for their choices but manipulating children into thinking they’re trans when they simply just don’t fit into their expected gender roles, or they aren’t conventionally attractive, or don’t fit in is wrong. They’re kids. I don’t think anyone should be allowed to transition until they’re at least 18. Heck I was 19 and I still ended up regretting it. Their needs to be proper therapy involved to make sure people aren’t dealing with trauma and are transitioning because of that, trauma and poor mental health makes you do unbelievable things. I wish I had seen a therapist who would have helped me navigate through all of that instead of just quickly trying to help me get top surgery (I didn’t even need to see a therapist to start hormones which is unacceptable)
I knew about how it was a permanent change but I thought it was what I wanted and I guess it didn’t really sink in that it was an irreversible effect. I really wasn’t in the right headspace to be given hormones, I didn’t even have to see a therapist to be prescribed them which I think is insane