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Reddit user /u/loveincautionn's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 17 -> Detransitioned: 20
male
low self-esteem
internalised homophobia
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
trauma
depression
influenced online
serious health complications
now infertile
started as non-binary
anxiety
sexuality changed
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The user's story is highly detailed, emotionally complex, and spans a long period, which is consistent with a genuine detransitioner/desister experience. The narrative includes personal health details, evolving motivations, and the psychological struggle of detransitioning, all of which are difficult to fabricate convincingly.

About me

I was a feminine boy who was bullied for it, and I escaped into online communities that convinced me I could only be accepted as a woman. I started hormones at 17 after a doctor pressured my parents, and for a few years, I loved the initial high of living as female. But I fell into a cycle of seeking validation from men and ignored serious health problems caused by the estrogen. By 20, I realized I was forcing myself to be someone I wasn't and quit hormones to reclaim my male identity. Now, I'm learning to love my natural body, and while I regret the years I lost, I'm finally happy just being myself.

My detransition story

My journey with gender started when I was a kid. I was always a really effeminate boy, and I got bullied for it constantly, especially after I hit puberty and started wearing makeup and skinny jeans. Growing up gay in a super religious town was hard. The bullying got so bad that my own family started getting harassed because of me. I felt like a burden.

I spent a lot of time online to escape. From around age 13 or 14, I was watching feminine boy YouTubers, then drag tutorials, and then I found trans women influencers like Gigi Gorgeous. I started to worship them; they represented the ultimate level of femininity. I fell deep into this world on YouTube and, later, TikTok. It became a 24/7 echo chamber that constantly pushed the trans narrative. Looking back, I see that I didn't have any real dysphoria about my body before I found these communities; I was actually happy as a boy. But I learned to hate my body from societal expectations and the influence online. I started to believe that if I became a woman, everyone would finally accept me. The straight guys I had crushes on would want me, and the bullying would stop. I think a big part of it was also internalized homophobia; I wanted to erase my gay identity.

By the time I was 17, I was convinced I was transgender. I begged my parents for a year to let me start hormones. The doctor I saw was a big influence; she told me I "passed" as female even before I started and she sugarcoated all the risks. She used scare tactics on my parents, asking them, "Do you want a dead son, or an alive daughter?" That's what finally got them to sign the approval forms. I was so determined I didn't even read the paperwork about the health risks. I just didn't care.

Starting estrogen felt like a high. Taking those pills was the highlight of my morning, like candy. For the first couple of years, it felt like the right decision. I loved it. I had a full women's wardrobe and was living as a woman. The hormones gave me A-cup breasts and completely killed my sex drive. To cope with having no libido, I told myself I was asexual. I also experienced serious health issues that I ignored, like urinary problems and back issues. I had bipolar-like episodes when I abused the dosage, once taking 14mg of estradiol which caused a terrible three-day episode.

Socially, things were tough. I worked a retail job where customers were often repulsed by me and misgendered me. But the bigger issue was my personal life. I got caught in a really bad cycle on apps like Grindr, posting NSFW pictures and seeking male validation. It was addicting, but it tore me down. Men used me, and it made me feel manic and alone. I realized that a lot of the trans women I knew were deeply insecure and even misogynistic, putting down cis women out of jealousy, and I had acted the same way.

Around the time I turned 20, after three years on hormones, things started to change. I felt like I was growing out of being trans. My body started to feel like it was rejecting the estrogen. I didn't want breast augmentation or bottom surgery anymore. I started to envy men and felt a new kind of dysphoria about not being male. I realized I had been forcing myself to have bottom dysphoria just to feel "trans enough." My sexuality shifted, too; I realized I wasn't actually attracted to men and was instead attracted to women. I was tired of being seen as a girl. I felt like I had been playing a role, and it was exhausting. The main reason I decided to stop was for my health. I learned about the long-term risks like osteoporosis and depression from low testosterone, and I knew I was likely infertile.

I quit hormones cold turkey at age 20. The first few months were really hard. I had bad mood swings, insomnia, anxiety attacks, and the worst hormonal acne of my life. For the first three months, people still called me "she." It was embarrassing and I isolated myself completely out of shame. I had to slowly change my appearance—growing out my eyebrows, growing facial hair, and cutting my long hair into a more masculine style. I sold my feminine clothes and bought a masculine wardrobe. I started working out, which helped a lot. Building chest muscle made my remaining breast tissue look less obvious. I also started taking vitamins like Fish Oil and Zinc to help my body recover.

Going back to my birth name felt strange at first because I was so detached from it, but I gave it a new meaning and now it feels completely natural. I love having body hair and a natural smell again. I love feeling fertile and having a healthy sex drive. Waking up happy in my natural body is the best feeling. I feel like I'm finally connecting with people as my real self.

I do have regrets. I regret the damage I did to my body and the years I lost chasing an ideal. I believe the medical industry and online communities manipulated me when I was vulnerable. Transitioning felt like being in a cult, and detransitioning was like escaping one. I now see that for me, gender ideology was a form of escapism from trauma, low self-esteem, and depression. I don't think medical transition is the right answer for most people, especially young, confused teens. I’m learning to love myself without any labels. It’s still a journey, and some days are hard, but I’m in a much better place now.

My Transition/Detransition Timeline

Age Event
13-14 Started consuming trans-related content online (YouTube).
17 Started socially transitioning and began taking estrogen hormones.
17-20 Lived full-time as a woman. Experienced health issues from HRT.
20 Stopped hormone therapy (HRT) cold turkey. Began social detransition.
20 (4 months after stopping HRT) Testosterone levels returned to normal range.
20 (6 months after stopping HRT) People consistently recognized me as male again.
21 (Present) Continues to recover and build a life embracing his natural masculinity.

Top Comments by /u/loveincautionn:

59 comments • Posting since January 8, 2022
Reddit user loveincautionn (detrans male) explains how misogyny in some trans women, stemming from gay male and drag culture, manifests as jealousy-driven bashing of cis women and claims of superior appearance.
123 pointsJul 10, 2022
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one thing trans women love doing is bashing on cis women, out of jealousy and hurt. the amount of social situations i’ve been with other trans girls, almost all talk about how they look better than cis women, and “pass” better than a born woman. it’s misogyny that stems from the gay male community/fem and drag culture. growing up as a gay guy before transitioning, it’s the same thing. so many gay guys talk down on women proudly like it’s nothing. it’s alive and more need to about it.

Reddit user loveincautionn (detrans male) explains his view that trans ideology operates like a social contagion or cult, citing misinformation and gaslighting in online MtF spaces and his own realization of the underlying misogyny and insecurities after stopping HRT.
63 pointsJan 24, 2022
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It feels like escaping a cult because a lot of people treat trans ideology like a religion. I read a research article comparing modern trans ideology to a “social contagion” which is true, there is too much misinformation and gaslighting within the MtF online spaces. I look back in my old trans spaces, and find their posts questionable. I acted the same, and didn’t realize how destructive my behavior was until I stopped HRT. Then I saw through all the misogyny and insecurities a lot of trans women have. I don’t know why I looked up to these people..

Reddit user loveincautionn (detrans male) explains why he recommends getting an orchiectomy and resuming testosterone therapy, stating that while most trans surgeries are unhealthy, life gets easier after the questioning phase.
60 pointsJun 22, 2022
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Most trans related surgeries are no good for your physical health, but a orchiectomy is something many men go through. Find a doctor that understands your situation and get back on T. I’m still working on the social connections myself, but life does get easier from here. The questioning era is the hardest part mentally.

Reddit user loveincautionn (detrans male) explains how gender clinics are fast-tracking medical transitions, citing reduced HRT requirements and rapid surgery approvals, and links "rapid onset dysphoria" to social media echo chambers.
56 pointsMar 19, 2022
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A lot of the gender clinics are literally becoming factories, putting patients on a conveyor belt. I’ve seen the 2.5 years on HRT requirement to get MTF surgeries decrease to 1 year. I saw a friend get approved for a breast aug 6 months after starting HRT. Another is going in for SRS after 13 months. The increase in social acceptance and gender affirming practices contribute to this. When “being trans isn’t a choice” is constantly pushed to young people they start believing it, and don’t allow themselves to question anything. I believe rapid onset dysphoria is a product of social media. Confused teens download apps like TikTok and find themselves in a echo chamber of trans content. When your self image is fragile the trans ideology sucks you in.

Reddit user loveincautionn (detrans male) questions the ethics of gender-affirming care, arguing it manipulates vulnerable people to create lifelong patients for financial profit.
56 pointsJun 13, 2022
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I’m convinced the medical industry is reeling us in to make money. Does gender affirming therapy actually help people, or does it manipulate vulnerable people to get the prodecures and medication they are selling us to become life long patients? They don’t care about us, they care about the financial benefit.

Reddit user loveincautionn (detrans male) explains how they lost almost all their friends during their transition, but found strength in the support of family and a childhood best friend, viewing the loss as a sign of personal growth.
55 pointsSep 4, 2022
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Everybody left my life except for my childhood best friend and my family. At the same time, it’s a good thing that we have lost friends, because we have outgrown our old mindsets and we are becoming better versions of ourselves. More friends will come.

Reddit user loveincautionn (detrans male) explains that many young, effeminate boys who are always online rush into MTF transition at ~15 to avoid masculinity, often pressured by older trans individuals, and predicts a future wave of detransitioners.
43 pointsJul 8, 2022
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in my experience of the trans community we were very effeminate boys from a young age, and a common is that we were always online. i think around that age puberty started hitting us and we realized we would only grow more masculine. in my experience in the teen mtf community a lot of us rushed into hormones from the advice of older mtf. i started questioning around 19 and i think a lot more will detrans as well, if they aren’t too overpowered by the opinions of others. i would have detransed earlier if I didn’t care so much about the reaction.

Reddit user loveincautionn (detrans male) explains his reasons for detransitioning, citing health risks from low testosterone, feeling he "grew out of being trans," and a shift in his sexuality that made being seen as a woman no longer work for him.
39 pointsMar 14, 2022
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The main reason to detransition was for my health. Low testosterone increases your risk of osteoporosis, depression, infertility etc. I developed a lot of health issues that I ignored on HRT.

This might be a hot take but I feel like I grew out of being trans. I wanted to fit into society and I was tired of being treated badly as a fem gay boy. I started transitioning at 17 and one day I just didn’t feel like a woman anymore. I wanted SRS for years, but I started discovering my sexuality recently and being seen as a girl wasn’t working for me. I’m not really interested in men anymore, so I was tired of attracting guys and women seeing me as one of them. I started to envy men and that caused a new wave of dysphoria. My situation is so complex that I can’t summarize all of my reasons.

Reddit user loveincautionn (detrans male) comments on the realization that natal sex is inescapable, discussing a debate over an all-female gym and trans women.
37 pointsJul 10, 2022
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there was an all-female gym opening, and there was a big debate about allowing trans women. at that moment i realized we will never have the same experience, or be seen as a born woman. i think a lot of MTF who have gone far into transition are starting to realize they will never be women, but it’s such a controversial topic in the community.

Reddit user loveincautionn (detrans male) explains how social media exposure and teen self-consciousness can lead to fascination with and pursuit of medical transition.
32 pointsJul 30, 2022
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almost everybody feels self conscious with themselves at that age, and they are very impressionable. stan twitter is super lgbtq and trans people have a strong presence on social media. tiktok also has a huge role. back when i started hormones as a teen youtube was my drug of choice. you get so fascinated that you want to become them.