This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this user account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, nuanced experience: They share specific, non-clichéd details about their own history with gender, body image, and detransition/desistance (e.g., discomfort with breasts being visible, past internalized misogyny, jealousy of male sexual experience).
- Consistent but evolving perspective: Their views on gender identity, social norms, and medical transition are complex and show internal reflection over time, not just repetitive talking points.
- Empathetic engagement: They offer tailored, thoughtful advice and ask clarifying questions to other users, indicating genuine interaction.
- Appropriate passion: The tone is often passionate and critical, which aligns with the stated context of detransitioners who may be angry or harmed by their experiences.
The account exhibits the hallmarks of a real person sharing their genuine perspective as someone who has desisted or detransitioned.
About me
I'm a woman who, as a young girl, started pretending to be a boy online to talk to my crushes. I later thought my discomfort with my body was gender dysphoria, but I realized it was actually a fear of being sexualized and a deep dread of pregnancy. I also resented being a short woman because I felt patronized and dismissed. I ultimately understood that my personality and interests have nothing to do with my female body, and that I was struggling with internalized misogyny. Now, I accept my body as it is and live comfortably as a woman who rejects feminine stereotypes.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was really young. I had crushes on girls and couldn't understand why, so I started pretending to be a boy online to talk to them and have online girlfriends. When I discovered terms like genderfluid and trans, I started to think that must be what was going on with me. I also had a lot of internalized misogyny because I was taught to look down on women for being weak and vain, so I wanted to be anything but a woman.
For a long time, I thought the discomfort I felt with my body was gender dysphoria. I'm female, and I've always felt crazy uncomfortable when the "bulge" of my boobs is visible. I don't wear bras most of the time so they're flatter, and I wear thick, patterned material to cover them up. I used to think this was dysphoria, but I realized I just don't want people looking at my sexual bits. I don't even feel discomfort about having boobs themselves; I just don't want them to be seen. This feeling is tied to a lot of things, like being catcalled or made to feel like my chest was an "inappropriate body part." I hated being noticed.
A huge part of my discomfort was also related to pregnancy. It’s the biggest source of my distress. I find it horrifying and unfair that I have to risk my health and my life for nine months, and deal with postpartum, just to have my own children, while a male doesn't have to. Pregnancy has always felt dehumanizing and like a punishment to me for being female. I felt a lot of disdain for my breasts and my period, and a lot of jealousy towards men. I still do.
I also struggled with how I was perceived because of my height. As a short woman, 5'1", it feels patronizing just existing when I am literally beneath everyone else. It made me feel like a teeny, dismissable side character, and when you try to put your foot down, people laugh at you because it's seen as "cute." It made me feel resentful, especially towards men who, as taller and stronger individuals, seem to be taken more seriously by default.
My thinking on gender has completely changed over time. I realized that my interests, personality, and style preferences have nothing to do with my body. My biggest victory was realizing I could love the body I was in and also love everything else about myself. My breasts had nothing to do with my fashion or my hobbies. The idea that "girls wear pink dresses and have long hair" and "boys like hoodies and have short hair" is a social concept that came full circle and led to the erasure of masculine girls and feminine boys. It's depressing and regressive.
I think the line of thinking that there must be "more to being a woman than just chromosomes" is what has caused so much turmoil. There are people with XX and XY chromosomes, and everything after that—behavior, personality, fashion sense, the way you present—is societal. It's extrinsic, not intrinsic. There are butch women and feminine men. Even the words "masculine" and "feminine" are traits that have been gendered by society, not some law of nature.
I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I only transitioned socially for a period, and I ultimately desisted. I don't regret exploring my feelings, but I do regret ever thinking I needed to change my body to fit a social idea. I benefited from stepping back and realizing that my personhood and internal self does not change, no matter what. It helped me to identify more with my name rather than my gender. Instead of "I am a woman" or "I am a man", I told myself, "I am [my name]" or "I am a person."
Now, I believe that if you need to take hormones or have surgeries to feel comfortable, there isn't anything wrong with that if it makes you more comfortable—cis people do similar things every day. But I think it's crucial to deeply examine the biases you have against the words "man" or "woman" and what images or connotations come to mind that make you uncomfortable. The healthcare system can be broken and corrupt, and there should be more caution, but adults ultimately have to take personal responsibility for their choices.
My journey was about untangling internalized misogyny, discomfort with puberty, and a deep-seated fear of pregnancy from the concept of gender itself. I'm at a place now where I accept my body as it is and understand that my worth isn't tied to how others perceive my femininity or lack thereof.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| ~10-12 | Started having crushes on girls, pretended to be a boy online to talk to them. |
| Teen Years | Discovered terms like trans and genderfluid, thought they explained my feelings. Felt intense discomfort with breast development and puberty. |
| Early 20s | Socially identified as not-a-woman for a period (non-binary/transmasc). |
| 22 | Began to desist after deep self-reflection, realizing my discomfort was with social perceptions and pregnancy, not my sex itself. |
| Present (24) | Live comfortably as a woman who rejects stereotypical femininity. |
Top Comments by /u/lowrcase:
I dunno about this. While I think gender-affirming surgery shouldn’t be encouraged so readily by medical professionals, you are paying the doctor to do a cosmetic procedure and you shouldn’t sue them for getting what you asked for.
The exact grounds for refusing to sterilize women is “what if they regret it and sue us?” so I’m uncomfortable with the precedent this is setting. Grown adults can make their own choices about their bodies.
Plenty of cis women get masectomies because they want to reduce their risk of breast cancer. Or because they just want to. Plenty of cis people get nose jobs, and as long as it’s not botched, they can’t sue just because they regretted it.
There is some level of personal responsibility that should be taken here.
I will say that while I was always depressed, the popularity of self-harm awareness— even when it was people talking about how they struggle with it, or how they’re trying to stay clean— only influenced me into self harm. I probably never would’ve cut if I never learned about it.
It genuinely concerns me how many children under the age of 11 are identifying as non-binary. Of course they don’t feel like a “man” or a “woman” yet, they’re children. They haven’t even reached puberty yet. I really do feel that this is rooted in people not conforming to stereotypical standards — I don’t connect with other girls/boys, so I must be a different gender. It’s extreme.
It’s not ok to be different anymore, there’s just a new box you get shoved into if you’re anything but typical.
I do think there will be a time in 20-30 years where many transitioned people will detransition. This comes with age, healing, and social / interpersonal maturity. It’ll be interesting to see what the gender narrative is when the pendulum swings back to the middle.
I agree. I think the best stance a parent can take is a neutral one. "I'm not telling you who you are or that what you're feeling is wrong. I believe you. I will always support you and love you. But let's sit down and talk this through."
And of course, parents should not let children physically transition until they're 18... but I think "social transition", if a child is passionate about it, is ok to allow because gender exploration is a normal, healthy way to figure out your feelings. It's better than letting your kid fester in bitterness and resentment -- a lot of times, this makes them dig their heels in.
You don’t need to detransition, and you don’t need to pass either. One thing I’ve noticed in trans AND detrans spaces is that the transition timeline (before and after photos) always correlate very tightly with following gender norms. From feminine to masculine to feminine again, or from masculine to feminine to masculine again. For you, it sounds like you feel at your true self when you present femininely. There’s nothing wrong with that. You can have a feminine name, a feminine style, feminine hair, feminine makeup, feminine social structures, and you don’t have to pass to enjoy those things.
I understand the innate human desire to “fit in”, and an incredibly difficult hurdle to jump when you simply don’t fit in. I do think self love and self acceptance is your first step, as well as detaching yourself from restrictive labels and identities.
Also, a quick question, how come you only want to date cis straight men? Is it for validation purposes? I believe you would feel more validated and in-tune by dating another LGBT+ male, whether they’re bisexual, gay, trans, nonbinary identifying, whatever. Not asking you to change your attraction preferences, just be open minded to other male partners that will have more in common with you.
The healthcare system is broken and corrupt. It’s honestly fucking insane to me how cosmetic surgeries are pretty much free-for-all but hysterectomies are shunned. It is absolutely misogyny.
I don’t know anything about where you live (I’m assuming the U.S.) or your financial situation, but have you considered “medical tourism”? It might be cheaper and easier to buy a ticket, hotel, and surgery in another country than it is to pay in the U.S.
I’m always so confused what people think opposite sex hormones are gonna do for them. If you’re on T, you’re going to get a patchy beard, body hair, a deep crackly puberty voice and the fat in your body will redistribute to the stomach & arms. When you get older, you’re going to bald. If you’re going on E, you’re going to get flabby breasts with no structure, your jawline is going to disappear, and you’re going to gain fat more easily. You’re also more susceptible to anxiety and depression.
I don’t understand why people think opposite-sex hormones are going to make them look like pretty androgynous anime characters. They won’t.
I've always hated it when men rub how physically stronger they are in my face. They love showing off just how easy it would be for them to kill me. It definitely made me feel inferior and unsafe -- I don't know why I thought transitioning would give me a leg up.
If cis men are so tough, why don't they go wrestle someone their own size or something? What's so masculine about being able to "dominate" someone literally half your size? Like yeah, I could wrestle a toddler, I'm not gonna brag about it??
No, that isn’t really the point of the sub… the point is for detransitioners to talk about their experiences and support one another. There are many different ideologies in this sub, some are anti-trans, some are still pro-trans but realized that they themselves are not trans.