Therapy has been politicized, which influences what a therapist feels free to say. My point is that some of your blame might belong on those who push transgender political policies, particularly in the area of diagnosis and treatment. To lead you towards an alternative to transitioning might be construed as reparative therapy which could lead to losing their license.

The few detransitioners that I have known were mtf, but eventually transitioned again. One had transitioned back to male for nine years and transitioned again because her daughter had only known her as a woman and basically disowned her as a man, but took her back into her life when she began living as a woman again. Family that has been supportive of transition seems to have a hard time understanding why they detransition.

Edit: Some of us tend to take family on an emotional ride.

I was on a few years. Been off a few months. My muscles seem a little harder (might be my imagination?), body hair is returning (not real happy about that), and my male organ hasn’t changed much. It does respond a little like it once did, but at best it’s half of its former glory, but when there is no stimulation it’s still shrunk as small as ever.

I am with you. My Adam’s apple is not an issue but I know that people sometimes can tell, although anyone who gets the nerve to ask is usually not sure. The things that helped my confidence has been mastering my voice, and realizing that cis-gender women are not as perfect as the airbrushed models in the magazines. Actually, there are cis-gender women with more masculine body features than me and lower voices than mine. Realizing this helped me relax. When I stopped worrying what other people thought I became more confident and relaxed, that’s when I started getting accepted wherever I go. At some point we owe it to ourselves to accept who we are and enjoy life. Hugs

Our small town HS is known for its teens drinking, partying and the girls experimenting with lesbianism. Kids have a huge impact on each other, especially when they are keeping things secret from their parents. Teen suicides keep going up. I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t the next phase in teen experimentation, especially if these kids were not showing earlier signs.

Common since seems to be in short supply, these days, along with the willingness to show grace towards people who don’t line up politically. Debate and civil discourse have given way to hate and cancel culture. Both parties used to have people whose viewpoints crossed political divides, now there is a fear of being ostracized if you don’t toe the line 100%. Just today I explained to my son my frustration with Christians who don’t bother to learn anything about trans people and wrongly talk about bathroom issues as though a hairy buff guy was going to put on a dress so they can molest women in a bathroom. I am equally frustrated with this push about sports, which doesn’t seem to have any consideration for how long someone has been on hrt and what the effects have been so far. I have transgender friends who are embarrassed to call themselves transgender because of the political pushing that is causing a lot of people to have a bad taste in their mouth towards us. No one should have to feel obligated to back 100% of the liberal agenda to identify as liberal.

Just three months off of hrt after five years on it. Elections happen more naturally, but so far I am not half the size that I was previously, and certainly not as hard. I have never heard of semen production returning. Once it’s gone it’s gone. My arm and shoulder muscles are returning. Body fat is reverting, including my face, which is looking more chiseled again. Body hair is growing fast again. Personally, I like the female version of me much better.

I am a committed believer, and the sacrificial love of a husband and dad has been my primary reason for not having transitioned. I am as also an empath and tend to put the needs of others before my own anyway. I tend to take it literally when Romans 12:10 says to prefer one another. Two of my therapists have observed that I feel responsible for how others feel so I try to guide circumstances so that they are happy with the outcome. That being said, I started praying about this when I was ten, riding my bike to a park to hide and ball my eyes out, begging God to stop thinking of myself as female. I was wearing my sister’s clothes whenever I was home alone, and continued that through HS. I was afraid that I would go to hell. After coming out to my wife seven years ago, and seeing the hurt that this has caused her, I just wish that I had had some clue as to what was going on before we married so that I could have saved her all of this grief. I don’t wish our children away, but I hate what this is doing to everyone. It’s getting to the point that letting my wife out of our marriage seems like the most loving thing I could do for her. I am not sure that she will heal as long as she is married to someone that she doesn’t trust, and who she knows doesn’t see themselves as a man.

I was 50 when I came to terms with who I am, and thought that the best thing for everyone was for me to transition in another town. I have been through the thoughts of ending it all, and that still happens at times, and I wonder why I couldn’t have just been a normal male like everyone else, but this is who I am. I will observe that having had to work through this has brought me to a place of having grace for people that I probably wouldn’t have had otherwise. So now I pray for guidance for both my wife and I, peace over our marriage and family, open or closed doors and wisdom to know the difference. I also pray that God helps me to let others have their own feelings and reactions. I tend to not be transparent about how I view things, what I am feeling, etc because I want to give them the answers that they want to hear.

I don’t think we should make any hormonal changes without a doctor, to begin with. I come from a mtf perspective, oddly enough it’s similar to what you are facing, and getting estrogen levels to appropriate levels is the first big hurdle. The second hurdle is patience. Estrogen will give you positive effects in one area before you see it’s effects in another area. If, in say a year, you aren’t seeing the progress that you want then hair transplant is the choice that is left. I have added 10,000 mcg of Biotin. You might try adding that.

I didn’t have laser. That will definitely be a wait and see for you. Libido might require doctors assistance and a prescription? Right now I am thinking that going on with transition might be better for me, since I have wanted SRS for a lifetime anyway.