This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "lulu893" appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments show:
- Personal, consistent detail: The user repeatedly shares specific, traumatic personal experiences (PMDD, being trafficked) and a coherent, evolving philosophical perspective (influenced by Eckhart Tolle) that ties into their detransition narrative.
- Complex, nuanced views: Their stance is not a simple caricature; they acknowledge "true healing through transitioning" for some while critiquing medical practices, which reflects the complex reality of the detrans community.
- Emotional authenticity: The tone ranges from passionate anger to empathetic support, which aligns with the warning that detransitioners can be "passionate and pissed off" due to personal harm.
The one minor anomaly is a single comment posted twice verbatim, but this is a common human error and not a significant red flag on its own. The overall history suggests a real person sharing their genuine experiences.
About me
I started identifying as non-binary in my late teens to escape the feeling that being female meant being a victim after my trauma. I now believe my dysphoria was a mix of my severe PMDD, autism, and trauma, not a true gender identity. I took testosterone, which helped my PMDD by stopping my cycle, but I regret the infertility and other permanent changes. A profound spiritual awakening helped me realize my true self has no gender and I found peace within. My journey taught me that true healing comes from addressing the root causes of pain, not from changing your body.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was really young. I was molested at age nine and then later trafficked in my late teens. Those experiences made me feel like being female was synonymous with being weak and a victim. I wanted to escape that feeling more than anything. When puberty hit, the discomfort was intense. I hated the development of my breasts; they felt like a target, a symbol of that vulnerability I was trying to run from.
I also have PMDD, a severe hormonal disorder, and I suspect I am autistic, as my brother is diagnosed and there's a high rate of co-occurrence. The PMDD caused extreme mental and physical anguish every month, making my teenage years a nightmare. I now believe that a lot of what I thought was gender dysphoria was actually the result of my PMDD, my trauma, and my neurodivergence all mixing together. I was diagnosed with PMDD very late, at 29, after years of being misdiagnosed and trying different medications that never worked.
I started identifying as non-binary in my late teens. It felt like a way out, a way to not be a "girl" anymore. I think for me, it was a form of escapism. I was deeply depressed, had very low self-esteem, and was anxious all the time. The idea of transition offered a clear solution to all my problems. I was also influenced by what I saw online; it felt like a community that understood my pain.
I took testosterone for a period of time. While it did alleviate some of the horrible PMDD symptoms I had—because it stopped my cycle—I now see that this relief was mistaken for confirmation that I was on the right path. The hormones made me angry and volatile, and I wonder if that chemical change in my brain made me more radical in my views at the time.
I never got surgery, but I wanted top surgery desperately. I hated my breasts that much. Looking back, I am so grateful I never went through with it. I benefited greatly from non-affirming therapy, though I didn't realize it at the time. A real turning point for me was reading Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now." It helped me through a very dark, suicidal time and led me to have what I call an "ego death" after an eight-month-long "dark night of the soul." It made me realize that my true self, my consciousness, has no gender. The hand pointing to the moon is not the moon.
I have serious regrets about my medical transition. I am now infertile, which is a profound loss. I also worry about the long-term health complications from taking cross-sex hormones, especially given how sensitive my body is to any hormonal changes. I don't regret the journey itself because it led me to where I am now, but I regret the permanent changes I made to my body based on a misunderstanding of my own pain.
My thoughts on gender now are that dysphoria is a real feeling, but it's a symptom that can come from many different places—trauma, hormonal disorders, internalized homophobia, or autism. I think we need to be able to talk about all of these things, like autogynephilia in males, without being called hateful. There should be way more informed consent and exploration of these other issues before any medical steps are taken. I think true healing comes from finding peace within yourself first, not from a place of fear or desperation.
I’ve come to believe that a lot of this, especially for young people, can be a social contagion. I saw it in my own life—the need to belong and the powerful influence of online communities and friends. I think we need to be able to say, "Grow up all the way first," without being accused of bigotry.
Age | Event |
---|---|
9 | Molested; began to associate being female with weakness. |
Early Teens | Puberty began; intense discomfort and hatred of breast development. PMDD symptoms began but were undiagnosed. |
Late Teens | Trafficked; intensified desire to escape being female. Began identifying as non-binary. |
Late Teens/Early 20s | Started taking testosterone. |
29 | Finally diagnosed with PMDD. |
29+ | Stopped testosterone. Underwent a "dark night of the soul" and found peace through mindfulness and Eckhart Tolle's teachings. Realized my true self is beyond gender. |
Top Comments by /u/lulu893:
You can be detrans and still need to dilate, bc you've had surgery and don't want consequences of not dilating. I for one am fine with anyone who's questioning their transition bc we certainly aren't allowed questions in other places.
Why would you do the same bs that's done to us to someone else?
I can't count how many times I've been called a terf, or how many times I was told I was "never really trans" or never suffered from dysphoria bc of my viewpoints. They're MY opinions, and their existence does not negate anyone else's identity.
Deep down I know the root of a lot of this is stemmed from mistaking gender identity with our actual identity. Underneath everything we are consciousness, and consciousness (or pure awareness) has no gender.
I often wonder if giving out hormones makes some people turn into activists. I have PMDD and any kind of hormonal treatments I received before learning about my diagnosis wreaked absolute havoc on my body and made me ANGREE all the time. I would've been much more willing to engage in this sort of thing while taking them... Makes me wonder how many others have the same/similar reactions to taking synthetic hormones and go off the rails/become radicalized from them.
Thank god. You sound like me at 15. Honestly after all the shit I'd been thru no one could tell me nothing that I didn't want to believe anyway. But you have some sense 🙏 if you still feel dysphoria later, in like early adulthood, that's when I would give a genuine approach to doing anything about changing your body. Grow up all the way first, that's what most of us detrans will tell you. And it's always from a place of love and understanding, not internalized transphobia as many of our denouncers would have you believe.
I have PMDD and suspect I'm on the spectrum, bc my brother is a diagnosed autist and PMDD&autism have a high percentage of co-diagnosis. I also suspect pmdd was the culprit of most of my gender dysphoria from early onset of puberty thru high school, plus being molested starting at age 9 so wanted to escape being female and "weak". So many issues.
This is precisely why I immediately go check out anything censored by powers that be, in any/every level of society. Been doing so for awhile now, but I often find the censored person/entity has discovered a truth that's harmful to the power structure that keeps the powerful in place. The mod is silencing you bc it's their own insecurity driving them, not the truth.
"You don't cut out a man's tongue unless you fear what he has to say"
Read Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now". It brought me back from the brink of suicide and helped me find my true self, beyond name, beyond gender, beyond form. I don't normally recommend books like this but... You're ready for it. You're exactly ready for it.
As a survivor of CSA, as well as being trafficked in my late teens, this is where my mind goes. I know for the majority, the push for these policies are mostly from good intentions, people reading about trans kid suicides and not wanting to lose their baby, but I've seen first hand the evil individuals who will find whatever loopholes they can to enact their predatory desires. I try to retain some self awareness and keep the bias of my trauma in check but I can't see an end to this road that doesn't lead to policy that allows for further sexualization, mutilation and molestation of minors. I'll get pushback like "nobody's advocating for genital mutilation" or "puberty blockers are completely reversible" and other nonsense. The parents advocating this think they're defending their children, while the predators who support them are licking their chops for the feast.
Gigantic red flag. They are conflating feelings of gender dysphoria with the anxiety of even hearing the risks involved bc they have been brainwashed to believe that surgery is the only way out of the dysphoria.
You need to help them find peace first. If they can come to a place within themselves that makes the decision to move forward from a place of peace instead of a place of fear and desperation then they can feel more comfortable with hearing the risks which is absolutely mandatory for anyone undertaking a life changing surgery. They won't be ready at this time no matter how set they are on surgery.
You get revenge. By making your life into something so gd amazing that it won't matter who cast you out for what. They were never your real friends, as much as that may hurt to realize. You found yourself despite your intense crisis of identity. Now you get to live your life authentically with no boundaries or rules other than the ones you set yourself.