genderaffirming.ai 

Reddit user /u/lumpydumpy22222's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 19 -> Detransitioned: 22
female
internalised homophobia
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
trauma
autogynephilia (agp)
depression
anxiety
sexuality changed
heterosexual
This story is from the comments by /u/lumpydumpy22222 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal perspective that aligns with the complex and often painful experience of a detransitioner. The user shares specific details about their own transition, family dynamics, and the psychological process of detransitioning, which would be difficult to fabricate consistently. Their views, while strong and sometimes cynical, are expressed with introspection and a clear internal logic that reflects a genuine, lived experience.

About me

I was a tomboy from a young age and never fit in with other girls, which started my journey. I began taking testosterone in my late teens, convinced becoming a man would fix my deep discomfort with being female. I realized transitioning didn't make me happy and that my dysphoria was a symptom of deeper trauma and internalized issues. I stopped hormones at 22 and a huge weight lifted when I decided to just be a masculine woman. I'm now learning to accept my female body and work through my root problems in therapy.

My detransition story

My whole journey with gender started when I was really young. I was always a tomboy and never felt like I fit in with other girls. I didn't understand them, and they often didn't understand me. I felt more comfortable with masculine things and was bullied by both boys and girls at school, but the abuse from boys was worse. My family life was complicated and definitely played a role. I had a difficult relationship with my dad, who was just an asshole, and I cut him off when I was 18. My stepmom pushed a very toxic, feminine ideal on me, forcing me into dresses and things I hated, which only made me feel worse about myself. My mom was more supportive; she didn't really get it but she loved me and just wanted me to be happy, even driving me to get hormones when I was older.

I started identifying as trans in my late teens. At the time, I was 100% convinced it was the right path for me. I had struggled with what I now understand was gender dysphoria since childhood. I hated my breasts and felt deeply uncomfortable with my female body. I thought becoming a man would fix everything. I was also dealing with a lot of internalized stuff; I admired men so much that I wanted to become one. I now realize part of that was a paraphilia I've had since I was a kid, something a lot of other female detransitioners seem to have too. I think for me, it was also tied to a deep-seated feeling that women are seen as weaker and less fun in our society, and I wanted to escape that.

I took testosterone for several years. I never got top surgery, but I did bind my chest. Thankfully, I wore a comfortable binder and didn't cause any permanent damage. While on T, my sex drive was really high, but my orgasms felt subpar. I thought transitioning would make me happy, but it didn’t. I was constantly stressed about passing and being "found out" in public. I only ever felt completely comfortable at home. I made a conscious choice to mostly be friends with cishet people, not the trans community, even when I was trans. Something about the community gave me a bad feeling, like a bunch of walking red flags, and I'm glad I listened to that gut instinct.

My detransition began around age 22. I had a moment of clarity where I realized it was way more rebellious and meaningful to be a visibly masculine woman than just another guy blending into the crowd. I wanted to show other young gender-nonconforming girls that they could be themselves without changing their bodies. The moment I decided to stop lying about my birth sex, a huge weight lifted. I immediately felt more comfortable. It wasn't an easy process; I still have dysphoria sometimes. I don't love being a woman and I probably never fully will—I just begrudgingly accept it. But I’m learning to make the best of the body I have.

Looking back, I see how my gender dysphoria was a symptom of deeper issues. I believe it stems from trauma and a sick society that pushes rigid gender roles. Every single person I've met with gender dysphoria has had some kind of trauma or fucked-up family background. For me, it was a combination of family issues, internalized misogyny, and a specific paraphilia. I also think there's a huge element of social pressure. I realized that no one, not even in progressive spaces, truly sees trans men as real men. They get treated like "cute smol beans," which is infantilizing and not how men are treated. If society treated trans people exactly like their desired sex, I might have stayed transitioned, but that's just not reality.

I have a lot of thoughts on gender now. I think men and women are more similar than different. The idea that we're two separate species is what pushed me to transition in the first place. I reject that. I believe gender is largely a social construct, but that doesn't mean you can change your sex. The real rebellion is being a gender-nonconforming person who doesn't transition. I don't see trans women as women in the same way I am a woman; they're in their own social category. But I also don't hate them. I see most of them as deeply sensitive, emotional boys who got lost searching for acceptance. I have empathy for them, even if I disagree with the ideology.

I do have regrets about transitioning. I regret not tackling the root causes of my dysphoria first. I wish I had found a community like this sooner, where people talked about working through trauma and PTSD instead of just affirming the desire to transition. I trusted the doctors and experts who put me on hormones, and I feel let down by them. They should have looked deeper into my family dynamics and trauma history instead of just giving me what I asked for. I became cynical and bitter after detransitioning, seeing how naive I was to believe I was on the "right side of history."

My sexuality also shifted through all of this. I'm heterosexual, but I struggled with what I now understand is autogynephilia (AAP) – being turned on by the idea of having a male body. I think this is an extreme version of heterosexuality for some women; I loved masculinity so much I wanted to embody it. Getting into a healthy, trusting relationship with a man who made me feel safe actually helped lessen those feelings a lot.

Overall, my detransition has been about finding a balance. I still present very masc and androgynous, but I'm trying to find a way to do that while still being seen as female. It's a struggle. I've found a good therapist who doesn't just affirm but actually helps me work through my issues, which has been crucial. My advice to anyone is that you can be exactly who you are now, with all your same interests and style, but in your original gender. You don't have to change anything else.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
Childhood Felt like a tomboy, disliked dresses, experienced bullying. Felt early signs of body discomfort.
Teens Struggled with gender dysphoria, hated breasts. Developed AAP tendencies.
19 Began identifying as transgender and started testosterone.
19-22 Lived as a transgender man. Experienced stress about passing.
22 Decided to detransition. Stopped testosterone.
22-24 (Present) Process of detransition. Working on root causes of dysphoria with therapy. Learning to accept being a masculine woman.

Top Reddit Comments by /u/lumpydumpy22222:

94 comments • Posting since June 23, 2024
Reddit user lumpydumpy22222 (detrans female) explains that she sees trans women as a distinct social category, not as women in the same way as natal females or as men, despite acknowledging their biological sex.
61 pointsJul 10, 2024
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I will never see a trans woman as a woman in the way that I am or a woman or my mother is a woman or any human being with a natal vagina and a uterus and two x chronosomes is a woman, but, I don't quite see them as a man either, even though I know fully well that they are biologically male. 

They're in their own social category. An other. They've made themselves this way, and the happiest trans people are the ones who accept that, not try to convince themselves that they see truly indistinguishable from the opposite sex. 

Reddit user lumpydumpy22222 (detrans female) comments on the visibility of transwomen in lesbian and LGBT spaces, stating it makes pride events feel unwelcoming.
53 pointsJul 24, 2024
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It's insane how even though the T is supposedly a minority, they seem to take up a LOT of space and visibility in lgbt spaces.

If i were any part of the LGB I'm not sure how I'd deal right now, but I'd certainly feel like pride events really weren't for me anymore.

Reddit user lumpydumpy22222 (detrans female) comments on the pattern of trans people forming friend groups primarily with others who share their trans identity, rather than with cisgender people.
50 pointsJul 29, 2024
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It's kind have noticed a pattern where mtfs, and I'm even talking back in the old days before all of this trans stuff blew up recently, tend to gravitate towards eachother and don't know how to befriend cis women. They want to be one of the girls but can't figure out so they end up being friends with other mtfs because they have more in common anyways. You'll see the same with ftms, just packs of Aidens and Olivers moving together lol

Reddit user lumpydumpy22222 (detrans female) explains her sympathy for "period envy" in trans-identified males, comparing it to her past desire to experience male-specific pain like being hit in the balls as a way to belong, while also affirming that biological males should not speak over women about the issue.
49 pointsJul 1, 2024
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I agree that biological males should not speak over biological females over periods.

That being said, and as a biological female, this is my true, honest opinion- I do understand and sympathize with "period envy". It's easy to immediately dismiss someone envious or curious about having a period and say "uh, hell no you fucking don't, that shit hurts!" But when I was trans, and i desperately wished I were male, there was certainly a part of me that wished I knew the pain of getting hit in the balls- and not because I'd think the pain would be pleasurable, but because it's a common shared experience between men. It is something that males can talk about, laugh about and signifies their belonging to the male sex. Likewise, having a period is a shared experience between biological females and can be a bonding experience to talk about, there is even some art embracing the fact that we bleed. Much like how giving birth fucking hurts, but as biological females it is a painful experience that solely belongs to us. If you are a male that wished deep inside you were female, I could understand why you'd also desperately wish you could share in our experiences with pain and childbirth. Just like how when I wanted to be male, I knew a part of being male meant knowing the pain of being kicked in the testicle, and understanding that as long as I didn't know that pain I could never truly fully belong 100% in male spaces (along many other reasons)

That all being said, it's not a healthy thing to be so completely envious of periods that you will speak over women about it! And, while I sympathize with the envy, I also really fucking sympathize with the biological female who would feel offended by the mere idea of it. It's very normal for even people who've never once thought about transitioning to be curious about the other sex in this way, wondering what it would be like to give birth or have periods. But if it completely envelops your mind in envy, it's a sign of very clear distress. The goal should eventually come to terms with your sexed body, not yearn for the painful experiences of the opposite sex. 

Reddit user lumpydumpy22222 (detrans female) comments on the frustration of people who present entirely as women but demand not to be called one.
45 pointsJul 17, 2024
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"I look like a woman, act like a woman, talk like a woman, walk like a woman, use woman pronouns, but DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A WOMAN. you're supposed to magically know that I don't want to be called one despite every part of my presentation suggesting otherwise!!!!"

These people genuinely live in a different world. 

Reddit user lumpydumpy22222 (detrans female) explains the frustration with the lack of a middle ground in how transgender people are treated, arguing they are mentally distressed people who deserve help and empathy, not either affirmation of a "delusion" or being treated as "freaks."
44 pointsAug 7, 2024
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I can definitely relate. I think it's because I see the humanity in transgender people, but I see them as very mentally distressed people who deserve help. When I see people lacking empathy for mentally struggling people and calling them horrible things, I feel strongly offended for their behalf.

I don't believe the morally correct thing to do is to "affirm" a transgender person's delusion, but I also don't think it's okay to treat them as freaks who deserve to be locked away in a asylum forever. And it is very rare to find people who are in the middle ground like this. People either treat them as degenerates and Undesirables or just want to affirm their delusions. Nobody is treating this in a healthy matter and it is frustrating  

Reddit user lumpydumpy22222 (detrans female) criticizes adults over 30 for treating HRT as a "cutesy, light hearted" decision instead of understanding its serious gravity.
42 pointsAug 24, 2024
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It's even worse when you see like 30+ year olds talking like HRT is this cutesy light hearted thing. I can genuinely understand why 15 year olds wouldn't understand the gravity of it, but, when I see fully grown adults falling for this shit... my god.

Reddit user lumpydumpy22222 (detrans female) explains why there are more FTM than MTF detransitioners, suggesting men are often quieter about their struggles while women are more social and likely to seek community.
38 pointsAug 19, 2024
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So the other commenters have some good points but I think another reason we don't see as many mtftm detransitioners is because men tend to be more quiet about their struggles... women are more social in that way in they're far more likely to share and reach out to find community. 

Reddit user lumpydumpy22222 (detrans female) explains why she believes trans women retain physical advantages in sports due to male puberty's irreversible effects on skeletal structure, heart size, and body size, stating it's only potentially fair if puberty was suppressed.
37 pointsAug 1, 2024
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An estrogenized male may be a weakened male but even 20 years of estrogen doesn't change body and skeletal structure or the size of the heart and ribs. Even though estrogen will weaken the body, if you are biologically male you still will simply have an advantage because you can't just wave away going through a male puberty. The only time I can maybe see it being fair is if the male puberty was suppressed through blockers.

Reddit user lumpydumpy22222 (detrans female) explains how the trans community's shift away from its "old school," grounded members derailed its path to widespread acceptance.
31 pointsJul 17, 2024
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The trans community was absolutely on track to being accepted because the old school transpeople were absolutely more grounded in reality and just wanted to live and be left alone, but then just as the community was approaching the victory line they all decided to collectively shit the bed lmao. And all of us reasonable ones saw that, and left the community, which kind of only made matters worse lol.