Do you ever take a step back and really think about the situation that you're in critically? Do you realize--like really think about the fact--that you are a male getting distressed by the fact that simply pumping hormones into your body doesn't make you female? Your body was never meant to "look" female, regardless of what hormones you have in your veins, because you are literally male. You are the antithesis of femaleness, and always will be, no matter if you can or cannot fool the average person into thinking otherwise. Go easy on yourself; you have expectations of your body that are so out of the realm of possibility that they are bordering on delusional.

There is nothing wrong with your body--in fact, it's working just as intended despite everything you are doing to actively harm it. I get that you don't want to be you. I get that you want to be somebody else. But you aren't somebody else. For better or for worse, you are you. And you happen to be a male of the human species, just as I happen to be a female. Why does it really matter, though?

No, and I don't think you should feel envious either. I know what it's like to transition "successfully". I passed VERY well to the public, but at the end of the day, I was never male. No matter what I did to my body, I was still a TRANS man.

Nothing could change the fact that I was born female. Nothing could change the fact that I was not socialized as a man. Nothing could change the fact that my life had been fundamentally different from a cis man's.

It feels like I wasted six years of my life chasing an unobtainable reality. Six years living a lie, living in fear, and pumping my body full of hormones at the expense of my health. Six years being somebody I simply wasn't and never was. Living in ignorant bliss while I neglected the actual roots of my problems. You should not envy trans people.

My recommendation is to really try to unpack why it is you want to be female. What does being a female/woman mean to you? Why is it better, in your mind, than the body you currently have? What would be different about your life if you transitioned and passed? Once you have answered those questions, ask yourself "Is my body the problem or is society the problem?" as well as "Is my body the problem or do I just think I'm unattractive?"

When I unpacked why I wanted to be male, everything fell apart for me. I realized that my body was never the problem in the equation. My body was not why I was unhappy. I was unhappy because of what being female--a state of being that is inherently neutral--meant to me and meant to society. I was unhappy because I was gender-nonconforming and, because of society, I had something against being a masculine woman. That idea was scary, even gross at the time. Now, I embrace that role because I can't really change it. I will always be a masculine female, and there is so much beauty in it as there is in being a feminine male.

Your dysphoria may not be caused by the same things mine was caused by, but it is at least worth asking yourself these questions to try to get to the body of your dysphoria. After all, dysphoria is a symptom, not a sickness in and of itself. I wish I knew this.

I think many of us have felt or feel the exact same way as you. Personally, I feel that I could have written your caption myself. While we have experienced and currently do experience so much pain, for what it's worth, we have come really far; our bodies have healed so much from what happened--proof that our bodies want us to move forward. Proof that, in a way, they forgive us. It's all about learning to forgive yourself

I know how you feel. I had such a cute face and now I feel like it's been corrupted by hormones that should have never been in my body. I have discoloration from acne and facial hair now, even if my face has slimmed quite a bit in the last months of being off of T.

I just can't get over how I could have had my old face and body--which were perfectly beautiful and healthy--but I hated them so much that I was willing to do anything to get rid of them. I cannot understand why. All I want is to be able to get back what I had. I want to be me again.

I see who I used to be in the mirror sometimes. Just glimpses. My boyfriend says he can see that person too, underneath it all. But it still hurts to not know whether that person will ever fully come back. Will the old me ever dig their way out of the grave I buried them in?

I partially transitioned b/c I was gender nonconforming and shamed for it. I felt I had to be a man to wear men's clothes or "act like a man". Shaming people for being GNC is part of the problem actually! If we lived in a society where cross-dressing was not shamed AND not seen as an indication of being a different sex or wanting to be a different sex, I genuinely think I wouldn't have transitioned. There is a huge difference between being accepting of people wearing whatever they want and feeding into the delusional that one can change their sex via self-harm.

Why post your voice here if you don't want honest feedback? Do you only want honesty if you like what people have to say? Or do you want people to lie to you? You asked a question about your voice and you received an answer that was not at all rude. Instead of taking it with grace, though, you completely lost your cool. Perhaps if you had been a bit nicer to the one person who was thoughtful enough to comment, others would have commented too. Your behavior is completely inappropriate and has no place on this sub.

I have also noticed that some people pass less as they get older. A youthful look--usually meaning more fat around the face and neck and more buoyant skin--can hide the bone structure and give the appearance of androgyny. As one gets older, this fat usually goes away entirely or settles differently and can sometimes accentuate one's sex more. I think this is especially common for trans women, though that has just been my experience.

Being a non-passing trans person has its unique challenges, especially in today's world. The truth is, though, that even at our most-passing, we are still hiding the truth of our bodies and our pasts. If we don't, the illusion that 1) we are the opposite sex and 2) transition can make us the opposite sex are destroyed. And what's left is a person that--despite altering their body in every way possible to be the opposite sex--is in essence the same as they always were. This is something that a lot of trans people, even trans people who continue with their transition, come to terms with at some point in their lives. It seems like right now, you are realizing the limits of biology, and that can be an absolutely heartbreaking, earth-shattering experience. I am so sorry for all of the turmoil you have been through as of late, and just know that there are many people in this sub with similar experiences.

If you don't pass and it's really causing you this much grief, my advice would be to stop transitioning or at the very least stop trying to convince people that you are a cis woman/female. Be open about the fact that you are a trans woman or stop identifying with any one gender at all. Gender is bullshit, anyway. The only objective and unchanging thing about you is the fact that you are male, so why not just identify with that?

I became free when I realized that it doesn't matter whether people say he or she. The labels of he or she are just that--labels. You exist as a person independent of those. Furthermore, I want to remind you that it is society's problem that you feel uncomfortable being whatever they (and you) think being a "girl" is. The truth is that there is no one way of being a girl; girls can be masculine, feminine, or something in between.

You are female, and your body is beautiful and perfect the way that it is. It is yours, after all. It may be hard to appreciate the little things about it (especially as it is growing and changing) but one day I promise you will wake up and realize there is nothing wrong with you.