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Reddit user /u/maadcitys's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 16 -> Detransitioned: 21
female
low self-esteem
internalised homophobia
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
influenced online
puberty discomfort
anxiety
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.

The user demonstrates personal, nuanced, and emotionally charged opinions consistent with someone who has lived experience. The comments show a consistent perspective, use personal anecdotes, and engage directly with others in a supportive yet argumentative manner, which aligns with the passionate nature of the community. The one call-out post is a specific warning about another user, not a reflection on their own authenticity.

About me

I was born female, and my discomfort started when my body began changing during puberty. I was convinced by online communities that transitioning to male was the only solution, so I socially transitioned and took testosterone for two years. I stopped when I realized how predatory that rhetoric was and began to accept that I would always be female, which was a difficult but freeing truth. Now, I live my life comfortably being seen as male, and I’ve even found peace with my body and can enjoy wearing women’s clothes again. My journey taught me that it's crucial to make these big decisions for yourself, not because of pressure from others.

My detransition story

My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and looking back, I see a lot of things more clearly now. I was born female, and my discomfort started around puberty. I really hated the changes in my body, especially developing breasts. It felt like my body was betraying me, and I had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem. I think a lot of this was tied to a deeper discomfort with growing up and the expectations placed on me as a young woman.

I found a lot of my initial feelings and ideas about transition online. The communities I was in were very supportive of the idea that if you felt bad, you were probably trans. No one really encouraged me to question it deeply or explore other reasons for my unhappiness. I started to believe that transitioning was the only way to fix the way I felt. I socially transitioned to male and eventually started taking testosterone.

I took testosterone for about two years. My voice dropped and I grew some facial hair, which I still manage by shaving and using makeup to cover the shadow. Even on T, I never stopped getting my period, so I had to always be prepared for that. I never got any surgeries. The idea of top surgery was appealing because I hated my breasts, but the reality of the permanent scars and the potential for things to go wrong always disgusted and scared me. I especially never wanted bottom surgery; I saw the results and knew it wasn't for me. I'm glad I listened to that instinct.

A big turning point for me was stepping back from the online communities. I realized how unhealthy and predatory a lot of the rhetoric was. It pushed people toward permanent changes without any real counseling about the downsides or regrets. I started to accept that no matter what I did, I would always be female. That was a hard truth to face, but it actually made me feel more comfortable with myself in the long run. It made everything seem much clearer.

I don’t regret taking testosterone because it gave me a voice I'm comfortable with, and I stopped when I felt I had reached a point that was right for me. I don't fixate on my body the way I used to. The crippling dysphoria I felt about my vagina has lessened a lot. I'm satisfied just being seen as male in my daily life, and I've even found a way to enjoy wearing women's clothes again sometimes, which was something I never thought I'd do.

I think internalized misogyny played a part in my initial desire to transition. I had a hard time seeing a future for myself as a woman that I wanted to be part of. I also believe that for some people, what gets called gender dysphoria can be linked to other things, like an overexposure to pornography, which can create unrealistic fantasies about being the other sex.

Now, I just live my life. I don't strongly associate with the trans community anymore, but I also don't fully identify as a woman. I guess I just am who I am. My main advice to anyone is to take a step back and make sure any decision you make is for you, not because of pressure from any community. Don't make drastic choices when you're young and still figuring things out.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
13 Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and my developing female body.
16 Socially transitioned to male after being influenced by online communities.
19 Started testosterone injections.
21 Stopped taking testosterone after two years, feeling my voice and appearance were where I wanted them.
22 Stepped back from trans communities and began to accept my female sex while maintaining a male social role.

Top Comments by /u/maadcitys:

7 comments • Posting since June 15, 2022
Reddit user maadcitys (questioning own gender transition) explains their experience with testosterone, noting periods continued but were manageable, and discusses prison placement risks and the permanence of medical transition.
15 pointsSep 15, 2022
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All of these are extremely important points to consider. As someone who's transitioned (exclusively hormonally bc surgery always disgusted me), I'll give my two cents

  • In the two years I took T, my period continued, yet I never had an issue with sudden periods in public and/or lack of sanitary napkins. I always kept track of my flow schedule and wore one just in case on the 1-2 days leading to my period. If I really felt like it was going to be spontaneous, I always brought a small one in the zipper of my wallet or something as stupid as it sounds. However, YMMV, it's a tricky situation and people differ in terms of how sudden their flows pop up, so it may still be a big issue for you.

  • If you're arrested you'll more than likely be sent to a women's prison, or if you're in one of the states that sucks up to Transgender laws, iirc you can explicitly state you're uncomfortable being put in a men's prison.

The last one is a big one, the biggest question, I feel. It's a total leap of faith because it will alter your appearance and voice near-permanently. It'd be good to focus on thinking this one more through, and given how apprehensive you are, currently desisting sounds like a good route, and the safest route for you.

Reddit user maadcitys (questioning own gender transition) advises against transitioning due to AGP, suggesting it's rooted in pornography overexposure and is an unrealistic fetish.
8 pointsSep 7, 2022
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No, I'm sorry. Stop watching porn / indulging in sexual content that enables this, and then see how you feel. I think a lot of AGP may be rooted in overexposure and active indulgence to pornography. And anyway, it's pretty self explanatory as to why you shouldn't base your entire identity on an unrealistic fetish. You more than likely would not get the results you wish for.

Reddit user maadcitys (questioning own gender transition) advises caution against further surgery and community influence, urging acceptance of biological sex and self-exploration after regretting top surgery.
7 pointsJun 15, 2022
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I think what's healthiest for you is to take a step back from the community, you seem way too deep into it like a lot of people are. Fundamentally nowadays, it's got deeply unhealthy, predatory, and damaging rhetoric, and it's also the reason no one tried intervening or properly counseling you when you got top surgery. You also need to accept that you're always going to be female no matter what you do, which is hard, but it'll make you a lot more comfortable with yourself and make everything seem much clearer, whether you continue transitioning without phallo or you decide to detransition. If you regretted top, I really don't fuckin recommend getting phallo no matter how ashamed of being a "dickless" you are, it's better than a mutilated arm scar and potentially living with something that's not even close to a cock. In fact, I probably wouldn't recommend phallo to anyone. You really don't need that to be a trans guy, in reality it's all about appearances. For me, I don't care or fixate on my vagina as much as I used to from crippling dysphoria, and I'm satisfied just being seen as male. Maybe you'll get there, maybe you won't, but it's vital not to make any more drastic choices just yet.

Either way you have to make sure it's not impacted by any community, especially one you outright despise. You don't have to directly associate or engage with them, you can literally just live your life. Although I'm still a trans guy, what helped me feel better about my birth sex was getting to a point about a year on Testosterone where I was comfortable enough with my voice and stopping indefinitely, as well as buying women's clothes again and dressing up occasionally but- that may not be for you. Maybe the concept of femininity still irks you, maybe you have some form of internalized misogyny like a lot of trans men and that's another part of why you feel conflicted and aimless. I don't know. Point is, your life is not over, don't feel ashamed at the poor planning for your top surgery, you were way too young. It's not on you, it's on the fact that it's so horrifyingly accessible to young teens and although you may feel intense loss and regret, it doesn't make you a lesser person or woman desu

(Sorry for reposting, did not have a flair I've just been a lurker to see if others feel the same way and don't really use Reddit lmao)

Reddit user maadcitys (questioning own gender transition) warns about a user spamming the sub with channerspeak and copy-pasted messages, advising others to ignore them.
4 pointsSep 25, 2022
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Hey guys this is the same poster whos been spamming this sub with channerspeak and copy-pasting his own messages into threads as of late. if you see them ignore them, don't know why he is doing this when we all already know our sex is unchangeable :P just dont want anyone who is very confused about themselves taking advice from someone who could possibly be meanspirited

Reddit user maadcitys (questioning own gender transition) criticizes aggressive comment on troubled teen's detrans post, calling it unhelpful virtue signaling.
4 pointsAug 22, 2022
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You're very weird for virtue signaling on a clearly troubled young individuals post on this subreddit. People need advice, not to be told shit like this. It solves absolutely nothing to be aggressive and accusatory about someone's internal misogyny and quite frankly it makes you look plain stupid.

Reddit user maadcitys (questioning own gender transition) calls out another user for using an alt account to copy-paste disruptive comments, telling them to leave the detrans support subreddit.
4 pointsSep 25, 2022
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this you? https://www.reddit.com/r/detrans/comments/xmxdvy/considering_retransitioning_having_a_hard_time/iptfvly?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

please go back to /lgbt/ this board is meant as a support system, we dont need people making alts to copy paste the same shit over and over. In addition have no idea what you think im projecting about

Reddit user maadcitys (questioning own gender transition) explains how to conceal facial hair and green shadow for light skin tones, recommending regular shaving, a good foundation, and using a light under-eye concealer like Milk Makeup.
3 pointsAug 15, 2022
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I'm the same as you with the same skin tone. honestly it never really goes away but shaving regularly and using a very good foundation works. sometimes (this sounds weird but it works) I even use an under-eye concealer for my upper lip because it feels lighter than foundation and blends right in. the brand I use is milk makeup if that helps?