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Reddit user /u/magiruuvelvet's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 23 -> Detransitioned: 28
male
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
depression
influenced online
anxiety
benefited from non-affirming therapy
autistic
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

The user's story is highly detailed, internally consistent, and spans a long period with specific, personal experiences (e.g., 4 years on HRT, tapering off medication, changes in German legal gender markers, interactions with therapists in Austria). The narrative of a gender non-conforming autistic person who transitioned due to social pressure and internalized stereotypes, only to find HRT harmful and detransition, is complex and nuanced. The expressed anger is directed at specific pressures and ideologies, not at individuals, which aligns with the passion of someone who feels they were harmed. The account shows a clear and logical evolution of thought over time.

About me

I'm a feminine man who started transitioning because I was depressed and didn't fit society's rigid expectations for males. I took hormones for years, which made me feel sick and worsened my mental health. I finally realized my problem wasn't my body but the pressure to conform, so I stopped the medication. Now I've detransitioned, I still present femininely, and I'm at peace with myself. My energy is back, the mental fog is gone, and I've learned to embrace being a gender non-conforming man.

My detransition story

My journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated, and it took me a long time to understand what was really going on with me. I was deeply unhappy and depressed, and I think a lot of that came from being an autistic, effeminate guy who was bullied and didn't fit in. I was heavily influenced by what I saw online in transgender communities, which pushed me to start questioning my gender. I developed a severe obsession with the whole concept of gender and stereotypes. Because I was feminine, people often thought I was a woman, and I think that constant misgendering somehow started to feel like gender dysphoria.

I was on hormone therapy for almost four years. I took estrogen and cyproterone. It made me feel sick. I had constant brain fog, terrible executive dysfunction, felt weak all the time, and had no motivation. My mental health suffered really hard from it; it made my depression and feelings of depersonalization much worse. It was a constant fight with myself. I never had a goal for what I wanted to look like; I just took the hormones because it felt like what I was supposed to do. I hated how the medication made me feel, but I ignored that feeling and just forced myself to continue.

During that time, using she/her pronouns and female language in German always felt unnatural and caused me mental distress, but I ignored that too. I also procrastinated on any surgery plans because I knew, deep down, I didn't want to lose my parts. Society's rejection of feminine men and my own depression were the real reasons I transitioned, and that's a horrible reason to do it. HRT doesn't magically solve your problems if you weren't happy to begin with.

I decided to detransition because I finally realized that my problem wasn't with my body, but with society's narrow boxes for what a man can be. I stopped believing in gender stereotypes. Being feminine doesn't make you a woman, and being masculine doesn't make you a man. I learned it's okay to be a gender non-conforming man. I tapered off my hormones over a month, and it took about three months for my testosterone to come back to healthy levels. I had mood swings and some physical changes like my body hair growing back faster and my skin getting oilier. My energy and motivation came roaring back, and I started feeling like a new person. The brain fog cleared up, and my mind felt clear for the first time in years.

I never had dysphoria towards my specific body parts. The only dysphoria I had was social anxiety from being a feminine man. Now that I’ve detransitioned, I still present very femininely. I love my long hair and wearing feminine clothes; men's clothing is boring and doesn't suit me. I'm the same person, I just accept my birth sex and stopped medicating myself. My gender dysphoria has mostly vanished since I stopped hyperfixating on gender. I embraced my true, natural effeminate self.

I don't really have regrets. The experience, as hard as it was, helped me figure out who I am. It taught me that I don't need to permanently alter my body to fit into outdated standards. I do have some permanent changes from HRT, like breast growth, but I've made my peace with it. Sometimes I miss being flat-chested, but most of the time I don't mind. I'm just moving on with my life.

I had to stop seeing my old gender therapist because she was toxic and got mad at me for detransitioning. I found a new therapist who specializes in trauma and anxiety, and he's been much more helpful. He's not an affirmative therapist; he actually helps me introspect, which is what I needed. Fuck affirmation therapy; it's useless.

My thoughts on gender are that it's a social construct, a set of ideas about masculinity and femininity that are used to cage and restrict people. In a perfect world, these roles wouldn't exist, and everyone could just express their personality without fear. I'm much happier now that I've accepted that and stopped caring what other people think.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
23 Started questioning my gender after being influenced by online transgender communities.
24 Began hormone replacement therapy (Estrogen and Cyproterone).
28 Realized HRT was making me mentally and physically unwell and began tapering off.
28 Officially stopped all hormones and began my detransition.
28 (4 months post-HRT) Testosterone levels returned to healthy range; energy and mental clarity returned.
29 Began seeing a new therapist specializing in trauma and anxiety, not affirmation.

Top Comments by /u/magiruuvelvet:

26 comments • Posting since December 1, 2021
Reddit user magiruuvelvet (detrans male) explains why their gender therapist disapproved of their detransition and rejection of male stereotypes, advising OP to find a new therapist and embrace gender nonconformity without hormones.
55 pointsJun 2, 2022
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I recommend to get a new therapist ASAP. My former gender therapist hated the idea that I detransitioned and at the same time don't commit to male stereotypes again. Embracing gender nonconformity is liberating.

Depending on what you mean with "woman activities", I see nothing wrong with having feminine interests/hobbies as guy, just don't force it if it feels wrong to you. Don't need to take hormones for that. I hope you get the idea.

Reddit user magiruuvelvet (detrans male) explains his reasons for detransitioning, including distress from female pronouns, procrastinating SRS to keep his parts, and societal pressure due to gender non-conformity and depression.
30 pointsJan 21, 2022
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Some things I have noticed since my detransition which I tried to ignore as much as possible back then:

  • It felt very unnatural to use she/her pronouns and female gendered language (my native language is German) when talking about myself, it always caused me mental distress, even after 4 years in, and I ignored it. I also hated when people refer to me as she/her.
  • I also procrastinated SRS like crazy as I wanted to keep my parts. Society kinda pushed me into transitioning due to my gender non-conformity and I suffered from depression back then which is an horribly wrong reason to transition in the first place. If you weren't happy before, HRT won't magically solve all your problems.

I'm glad I realized this on my own, because people around me just continued to force the trans label onto me, specially my gender therapist, they got mad at me when I decided to detransition, I stopped visiting them.

I start to feel better about myself everyday since my detransition. Thankfully I can still produce hormones on my own. I stopped caring what other people think about me.

Reddit user magiruuvelvet (detrans male) explains how online communities led them to mistakenly identify as agender, arguing that some trans spaces reinforce stereotypes and push HRT as a universal solution instead of accepting gender non-conformity.
21 pointsJan 16, 2022
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Internet influenced me heavily to the point were I started to get extremely obsessed about gender and gender stereotypes. I only started to "question my gender" after I was sucked into the transgender community. It's a mess how many of them define their gender ONLY based on stereotypes. Sometimes I think this trans thing only exists to reinvent outdated gender roles and to invalidate gender non-conforming people calling them "eggs" or "trans in denial". Many trans people are so pushy towards HRT it's insane. I mean I respect when someone wants to take HRT for the rest of their lives, but don't push others into this madness when they never asked for this. Alternatives exist and should be discussed. I learned it the hard way that it is OK to be gender non-conforming and that I don't need to permanently alter my body to fit into outdated "standards". Some people may need HRT, and that's OK, but it's not a universal solution which works for everyone.

For additional context: I never had dysphoria towards specific body parts. I also prefer to be gendered male. The only "dysphoria" I had was caused by social anxiety. I was afraid to express myself as a femboy. Being on HRT for some time at least helped me to figure this out, so it wasn't a complete waste.

Reddit user magiruuvelvet (detrans male) explains that gender stereotypes are not binding, encouraging others to embrace their true, gender nonconforming selves rather than forcing themselves to act according to their sex assigned at birth.
21 pointsMar 29, 2022
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You don't need to look or act a specific way because of your sex. It's all just stereotypes and society's expectations about how man and woman should be. Just be your true natural self. As a gender nonconforming guy myself I stopped giving a shit about gender stereotypes. I embraced my true self. I can act however I want and I can dress however I want, my biological sex doesn't restrict me how I can express myself.

Don't force yourself to "act like your agab" just because of sexist gender stereotypes bullshit. If you feel brave enough, embracing gender nonconformity is fucking liberating. I do the same.

Reddit user magiruuvelvet (detrans male) explains that after detransitioning, nothing changes about their personality or style, only their acceptance of their birth sex and the end of their dysphoria.
21 pointsMar 10, 2022
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I was asked the same questions and I was like: nothing changes, I'm still the same person and I do whatever I want and dress however I want and style my hair however I want. Besides the fact that I accepted my birth sex and stopped medicating myself and that my gender dysphoria mostly vanished, nothing really changes.

Funny how the people who caused my transition in the first place are now triggered because I don't stick to any gender norms.

Reddit user magiruuvelvet (detrans male) argues that "crossdressing" doesn't exist and clothing is just gender-neutral fabric, advocating for an end to gendered fashion labels.
18 pointsApr 29, 2022
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Maybe unpopular opinion, but there is no such thing as "crossdressing". It's just fabric. There is no such thing as man and woman clothes, only masculine and feminine clothing if you want. It's ok to dress fem as man. It's ok to dress masc as woman. Clothes are not gender locked and we should stop pretending that they are.

Reddit user magiruuvelvet (detrans male) explains how being misgendered while presenting femininely as an autistic person with ADHD led to an obsession with gender, a transition he hated, and his current confidence as a feminine man who rejects gender stereotypes.
16 pointsJan 7, 2022
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I'm autistic and have ADHD. Can't tell for sure if that lead to my transition, but I developed a serve obsession to gender back then. Due to presenting feminine I was constantly misgendered as female which I think manifested as gender dysphoria somehow. Even was on HRT for 4 years and hated every aspect of HRT. Now that I detransitioned I still present feminine, with the difference that I'm confident in doing it now and correct people when they misgender me. I don't believe in gender stereotypes anymore. Being feminine doesn't mean you are a woman, as well as being masculine doesn't make you a man.

Reddit user magiruuvelvet (detrans male) explains how accepting his natural effeminacy and rejecting sexist gender roles allowed him to embrace his true, gender non-conforming self.
13 pointsApr 13, 2022
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Glad I'm not the only one thinking this. I accepted my natural effeminacy and express and present in a very gender non-conforming way and it makes me happy and feel good about myself. That's just who I am and I can no longer deny that fact. I embraced my TRUE self and stopped giving a shit about sexist gender roles.

Reddit user magiruuvelvet (detrans male) explains how toxic masculinity and the rejection of feminine traits in men led to his transition, and how detransitioning after 4 years of HRT by rejecting gender stereotypes eliminated his dysphoria.
10 pointsJan 23, 2022
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I can relate to this. What I have noticed from my own experience is that toxic masculinity and the idea that man can't be feminine seem to contribute to the idea to transition into a woman. I got dysphoric towards my feminine body too when I was on HRT so I stopped it. Never could relate to trans woman, but can't really relate to man either. What helped me is to stop hyperfixating on gender and just accept and embrace myself regardless of my sex. Once I understood that everything is just gender stereotypes, I understood that I don't need to change my sex (which is impossible anyway). It's fascinating, once you stop fixating on something, everything starts to clear up on its own. My dysphoria just vanished and my mind is clear again.

Estrogen made me feel like literal shit, that made my decision to detransition easier. I was on HRT for 4 years. I am more energetic and happier on Testosterone. I also don't want to be dependent on medication for the rest of my life.

Reddit user magiruuvelvet (detrans male) discusses his ambivalence about detransition, deciding to focus on living life rather than obsessing over regret.
9 pointsFeb 16, 2022
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I also jump back and forth. Should I regret transitioning or not?? They say time heals all wounds so I decided to just go on with life and stop obsessing over it. Get distracted, do whatever makes you feel good about yourself.

I sometimes miss being flat chested, but at the same time I don't mind having breasts now. I don't know, it's just so weird sometimes. And tbh who gives a shit?