This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor. The user's story is highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent over time. The language is natural, with personal anecdotes, self-deprecating humor ("lol"), and a clear, evolving perspective that reflects a genuine process of reflection and healing common among detransitioners. The passion and criticism align with the expected viewpoint of someone who feels harmed by their experience.
About me
I transitioned for 11 years because I thought my social anxiety and hatred for my birth name meant I was a boy. I had surgeries and took hormones, but I eventually realized it was all a response to the discomfort of female puberty and society's narrow view of women. My mental health only improved when I stopped focusing on gender and built a disciplined life filled with art, work, and purpose. I don't regret my past, but I see it as a difficult detour away from myself. Now I'm healing my relationship with my female self and finally finding peace.
My detransition story
My whole transition started because of my social anxiety. When I was a kid, I was incredibly shy, and I grew to hate hearing my birth name. The only time I ever heard it was when a teacher would call on me in class, which would send a huge surge of anxiety through me. I became conditioned to feel upset whenever I heard that name. I wanted to change my name long before I even knew what being trans was, and later, I used that feeling as "proof" that I was really a boy.
I ended up transitioning for 11 years. That included a year on hormone blockers, seven years on testosterone, and two surgeries—a double mastectomy and a hysterectomy. It took me all that time to finally realize that my desire to transition really stemmed from that early anxiety and name discomfort, not from being born in the wrong body.
I also really hated my breasts and felt incredibly uncomfortable with the changes of female puberty. I think a lot of my feelings were tied to the way girls and women are sexualized and treated in society. I’ve always been a more androgynous, masculine girl, and I felt like I wasn't a "real" girl because of it. If society was more accepting of girls who look and act like me, I seriously don't think I ever would have transitioned. We don't need a hundred new genders; we just need to expand what it means to be a man or a woman.
I used binders for about six years before my surgery, and it caused permanent damage. My ribs actually changed shape, and I had respiratory issues for a long time afterwards. Having the mastectomy at 19 solved the binding problem but came with its own set of consequences.
My mental health was a huge factor throughout all of this. I struggled with severe depression and anxiety that were very treatment-resistant. I tried over twenty different medications, including hormones, and nothing helped. The only thing that truly worked for me was developing strict self-discipline. I filled my time with art, music, and working hard at my jobs. I went back to school to have a positive goal to work toward. I had to stop being a directionless, mentally ill person and become someone with purpose. That discipline, and finding security in my own behavior, is what finally pulled me out of that pit. I am happier and more accomplished now than I have ever been.
I don't really talk about my detransition much. I'll just throw in a casual "oh by the way, I'm a girl again" if it comes up and then move on. I hated talking about being trans when I was living as male, and I don't enjoy talking about detransitioning now. It's just a part of my past.
I don't regret my transition because it led me to where I am now, but I see it clearly for what it was: a long, difficult detour away from myself. I'm finally healing my relationship with my birth name. When my mom recently texted me asking why I don't start using it again and told me how much she loves it, it made me happy instead of angry, which is how I would have reacted just a few years ago.
I’m a lesbian, and I feel like my experience has given me a better understanding of butch lesbian culture—the way some women might play with terms like "boyfriend" without ever wanting to medically transition. That’s a real part of our culture that feels like it's been taken out of context by the trans community.
My advice to anyone questioning is to treat your depression first. Don't make any rash decisions. Give yourself time, practice mindfulness, and find hobbies to throw yourself into instead of fixating on gender. It’s a waiting game, and gaining control over your own life makes a world of difference. We deserved better as young girls, and we deserve to find peace now.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| ? | Started to hate my birth name due to social anxiety. |
| ? | Started using binders. |
| ? | Began taking hormone blockers. |
| ? | Started testosterone. |
| 19 | Had double mastectomy (top surgery). |
| ? | Had a hysterectomy (bottom surgery). |
| ? | Stopped hormones and detransitioned for the first time; retransitioned after 6 months. |
| ? | Detransitioned for the final time. |
Top Comments by /u/malcoze:
I think subconsciously a lot of FTM people transition for this reason. They might not realize it but the little microaggressions you face as a young girl and woman take such a toll, and transitioning looks from the outside like an escape from that. I never even thought twice about all the little ways I was sexualized as a young girl until detransitioning and really analyzing why I wanted to transition in the first place.
Workplace discrimination, social isolation, sexualization & infantilization are commonplace for pretty much every woman in Western society, unfortunately, and I think we tend to block it out of our minds because you get so used to it. Or because if you think too much about it it leads to a lot of heartache lol
Really long-winded way of saying "Yes"
I mean I understand the he/him lesbian thing for maybe a different type of person lol... Like as a lesbian I've def known butch women or studs (**specifically not trans or trans-identifying in any way) who refer to themselves as thsir gf's "boyfriend" or who people sometimes refer to with he/him pronouns (not exclusively) because of the intricacies of the way lesbian identities interact with each other.
I'm not sure how to explain it in a better way haha but trans-identifying people seemed to have taken this part of les culture way out of context and made it something it's not. Like no, I'm not looking for my butch gf to use hormones or try to be a man socially lol the only people who want that are other trans-identifying people
YOUR LAST SENTENCES!! This is so fucking true. I have always been a more androgynous/masculine girl and if that was something that was more accepted in society I seriously believe I never would have transitioned. Girls like us are made to feel like we aren't really girls and it confuses so many of us into thinking we have to alter ourselves in these extreme ways.
We don't need 100 more genders, we need to expand our ideas of what "man" and "woman" are. But right now it's like god fucking forbid a woman have short hair she must be a man or a they/them lmfao
I know right! We are literally just girls who aren't even trying to be men, we're just existing. One of my girl friends was literally told "omg girl we need to get you some hormones!" by a trans guy just because they think she's kind of a tomboy (and I mean she's not really, she just likes moshing and hardcore music which makes her masculine apparently??). I know it's just a little comment and she doesn't have interest in that kind of thing but it's stuff like that that makes me furious. We deserved so much better as young girls and we deserve better now.
And I'm right there with you in rewiring my brain! We've got this girl 🫂💓
I've heard this from a lot of men before, that the trans community is the only place where they've experienced that kind of support (because our society is so lacking in emotional support for men, and the confines of male societal expectations are so suffocating).
And it really does come off as a "righteous struggle" at first... until you claw your way out of the hole it put you in haha
This is the one. As another commenter said the bar to br considered "trans" is so low in these communities, and the people within them have such a strong drive to "crack the eggs" in their lives. It's such an appealing rebellion from the norm, and so easy (in theory). People who are looking for community and people looking to play oppression olympics both end up following this path... Thank you for your comment. Do you feel that the trans community is a "cult" as some people say?
Treat your depression first and foremost. You need to be at way lower levels of emotion in order to handle this issue. For me personally medication did not help and I have taken over 20 diff meds that were supposed to treat this (incl. hormones). The only thing that truly helped me was strict discipline and rigorous study.
My path obviously won't help everyone, but tossing in my 2 cents in hopes you'll be receptive. Keep yourself busy, sober, well-fed & hydrated, fit, and working toward some kind of positive goal. Transition is not one of these positive goals. Every empty moment I filled with art and music, I worked my ass off (and still do) at my jobs, and I started back at school again, for something to work toward.
No longer acting like a directionless, substance abusing, mentally ill trans person in my daily life completely fucking changed things for me, and that's coming from someone whose mental health problems were (& are) really treatment resistant. But I don't need anyone else's treatment to be happy, I need discipline from myself & to be able to have security in my behavior. No matter how hard it was in the beginning, I was able to claw myself from that pit and become an actual person. I am more happy and accomplished now than I have ever been.
I think some of the dt men in this community will be able to give better advice from a more similar perspective, but I can tell you that in my opinion yes it is possible to detransition and be okay with life, I think we on this subreddit are proof of that.
I wasn't really ready to fully detransition the first time I came off of hormones but it was that experience that made me realize living as my birth sex isn't so bad.
And maybe an unpopular opinion here but yes it is also an option to transition without hormones, whatever makes you happy. Just as long as you're really confronting where that desire comes from and what it means to you.
Here's one study that shows 97% of participants had at least one negative health effect from binding.These include skin & soft tissue damage, respiratory & musculoskeletal injury and GI issues.
I can also speak on my own experience, I used binders for 6 years or so and my ribs have actually permanently changed shape. The same happened to my friend who also used binders for a long time, although it affected them worse than me. I had a lot of respiratory issues for years after and luckily after awhile my body was able to readjust, maybe partially due to age (I was only 19 when I had a mastectomy).
This is typical of being 17, IMO. It's an age that comes with a ton of self-discovery and - if you're unfortunate enough to have parents that are unsupportive - there's a lot of frustration because you can't act on all of the changes you want in your life. It really does suck, and when I was 17 it genuinely felt like the end of the world, but you'll honestly have so much more healing when you have enough control over your life to wear what you want, act how you want, and discover yourself, gender completely aside.
It is a bit of a waiting game. Getting out of school, getting to work, saving money, and moving out were all steps that lifted a little (or a lot lol) of the stress. And you'll probably find it has nothing to do with gender identity, but everything to do with self-discovery. Or maybe that's a bad way of putting it, it does have to do with gender expression, e.g. being a girl who wants to wear more 'boy's clothes' and not having the freedom to do so.
The best thing you can do for yourself, as you seem to already know, is NOT making rash decisions or uprooting your life for the trans philosophy. Doing your best to practice mindfulness, self-care, and the beginnings of discipline will go a long way. Find hobbies or books you can throw yourself into instead of gender ideology. I'm sure it's absolutely everywhere at 17 (because it was for me too back in 2018) so just do your best not to apply it to yourself.
Me and plenty of other ladies on here are happy to help, and my DMs are always open if you need advice or have questions!