Well, a lot our sexual compulsions come from traumas or ideas, sometimes it's just about what you got used to...

I don't know if this will help you, but, it helped me, there was a time in my life when I went down the rabbit hole of dark fantasies & it became a bit of an addiction, the difference here is that I felt just wrong & I cut it at the roots.

I distanced myself from porn completely, although it's smt I just had started having a problem with, smt like a few months.

I think you need to reprogram yourself a little bit. Look at the subreddits for people struggling with porn.

For a while you might feel like nothing can get you off, but let me tell you give it some time & you will get horny at nirmal stuff again.

Maybe you will always have a little thing for darker fantasies, but hey sometimes I wanna fly-kick some people in their mouths & I know there will always be a part of me who is itching to do that, but us it really wise ? Just because I want, doesn't mean I should.

There are things, like heroine for example, that you can't have a healthy relationship with...

That's not what the trans community is saying & you know it. If anybody, any- BODY can do anything, why swap sex genitals & hormones. Makes no sense & what you saying is not the full truth.

There is very little religion in what I am talking about. There no religion in me. I find the idea of sexually being transitioned is unnecessary if you can do, be, date, think whatever you want whatever your body is why change your body... Sterilize yourself? Be in so much pain. Yes I think some people can benefit for it. But SRS HRT ARE NOT THE HOLY GRAIL FOR ALL GENDER NON CONFORMING PEOPLE.

IT IS NOT and this community right here and why people detransition. It is not okay to push it as if passing will solve all your problems because it will not.

I hope she can find some measure of comfort. Im GNC for sure, even my hormones are not normal for women, i still don't think srs or hrt would help me in any way. Accepting my body & that i am different mentally/internally & accepting it has done wonders for me. I barely have any dysphoria. For someone who's been previously suicidal that's fucking huge.

That goes in way deeper. But i thought it would be nice to share the image.

I have gone through something similar, i could never do SRS or HTR because my health is already very poor. So i had to find other ways to cope.

And I did. Long journey, and for everyone there's a different central issue. I came from a somewhat conservative and very gendered expectations of me I never met.

The sole fact I was not* interested in makeup made people assume that I was lesbian. Granted I'm bi, but it's not like I hate men. I just want to illustrate that despite my long hair, just never wearing makeup (people told me many times I should or I would never find a man). And wearing "neutral" clothing like a white plain tshirt, jeans and flat shoes, made people automatically assume I was a butch lesbian.

So I think that might have contributed. The fact I was really not going for sexy, flowery pink clothing like a barbie. Most women my age in my environment were like barbies tons of makeup, little tight clothing and high heels and I was like, chill people, this is a university not a fucking beauty pagent.

That whole universe of exaggerated feminity was alien to me and I just felt really, really displaced. My hobbies didn't help either. I was somewhat muscular before it was cool.

I had many other issues, but ideology wise I think that helped pushing me over the edge into dysphoria cliff

this is my perspective as somebody who worked on mental health for over a decade, I want to say right of the bat that i largely agree with you & I think we are still not well equipped to deal with trans people's mental health

In medicine/psychiatry & psychology there is this concept of "harm reduction". That is when treatment keeps failing & for example you know the patient will do risky behavior again & again. You just beg them to cope the best way possible: harm reduction

That's why we offer free condoms, we offer free hypodermic injections, we offer treatment we inform people of what to do during/in case of OD, we ask them to be with someone... We ask them to check with the doctor & not go bellow X weight, we ask them to not cut unsanitarily at least. This is not intended to be a cure. It's health care admitting that some people will just go on and harm themselves even MORE, if they don't get relief in some way, fear they might try to kill themselves if we take away their maybe only coping mechanism no matter what it is so they don't die.

The problem here is that this ideology is all NEW to us, we have barely any decent body of research on transgender psychology. We don't have say a questionnaire that someone can fill so we can know how severe it is or to minimally guide us in treating such people. So instead of using the whole medical transitioning option as HARM REDUCTION we have been pressed to accept it & deliver it as a FIRST CHOICE ALTERNATIVE. That is what is fundamentally wrong with the approach.

Do you see the problem now? The whole medical thing should not be a first choice & this problem is ideology driven.

I firmly believe because it's an ideology issue it can be cured by ideology. The basic idea is "if you act like a male, think like one, feel like one & wanna look like one you should transform into one (not possible) best next thing then is to surgically fake yourself into looking like that."

But

There was a time where being gender non conforming person was okay, masculine women wearing suits, feminine men wearing makeup be oming dancers, or joining the army, being lesbians or not, could exist in peace with the knowledge they were just a bit different from other women. But isn't that solely based on stereotypes? Of what men or women "should" be or act like. It's incredibly sexist to think that you must be of another gender to be able to do certain things (except menstruate, produce female or male gametes because those are not social!)

I'd say take a guy like Pete Burns, he is a very GNC person, but he never said he was a woman and he thought that people who thought he was/should be addressed as a woman were wrong. He didn't say it himself but he was a GNC man, he became addicted to make up but hey, he had lots & lots of traumas, but he never really you know did SRS. You'd think someone like him would surely want that. But if he was already living like that for so long what's the point in SRS? He became bankrupt & addicted to plastic surgery, he should have had therapy, he admitted he had a problem he should had been treated with more care.

But yet again we are confronted as health practitioners with a person who is very unusual, with cases where there is no literature & with the notion that plastic surgery is an okay way to deal with problems, and a media that photoshops everything.

I think trans people, just like anyone else should be treated with respect but when it comes to risky (health risking) behaviours, harm reduction & not attempting to change said risk behaviors is NOT TREATED LIKE A FIRST CHOICE.

we need to uphold the oaths of health care, we need to uphold the safeguards,

We need to take care of ill patients as ill patients. & People need to stop throwing out "transphobic" tag on doctors & health care professionals that don't accept right away that what a patient wants is whats is best for them.

Trans people have a lot to sort in their own heads and should not be exploited as guinea pigs or tools to win political & ideological battles. Specially not vulnerable & confused teenagers...

We are going to look back at 2019 and we are going to say it was a regretful time, were patients were misunderstood & mistreated.

It wasn't even that way, i commented, the i weeks later i get a ban. Somebody just literally stalked me, went to my profile & went through all communities I follow actively or not. Made a prejudicial judgement & i got banned.

It was not like i went posted smt & then enraged the OP or anyone in the thread, nobody was offended at my opinion i didn't even get downvoted. I said smt along the lines of "you should always seek help if you have unresolved traumas because that might play a role in your dysphoria" literally this kind of comment can come from even the most hardcore trans person... & Its a far cry from smt offensive or that would warrant a ban. Just nosey ass people being TRIGGERED by the slight bit of reason...

The fact that we need to have this post fixated here, & the way there are so many comments just begging for respect for other peoples choices, speaks volumes about the mainstream "trans community" mentality and hoe pushy and toxic some of "our" people can be.

Day after day I'm more and more upset at te lack of respect for other's choices & suffering, I don't understand this, if you're trans you know how hard it is, to feel dysphoria, to feel unwelcome on your own skin & alone in the world.

It's cruel & unnecessary. If you have nothing to say... Just keep it shut

I can tell you first hand that being smart, being intelligent, even working on a field that demands it & uses it all the time. It will not save you from existential confusion.

It won't save you socially, you can be a maths genius (I'm not) but you can still fall in ideology traps. If you're very above average on intelligence you will already feel very alienated in school, among people in general because you see the world differently & you will be confused by the strict gender roles expected from you.

You might then fall into the trap of, im X sex, but i have so many uncommon interests and thought for a Male/Female, I know I'm different, so maybe I am trans.

I know a guy, who is a physicist he works with dark matter & his ability to solve mathematical puzzles is not from this world, growing up he always hung out with girls because he was not a macho dude, he was always thinking, didn't like sports, liked to have nice grades, didn't want to be a "cool" bad boy thing that seems cool when you're young, to this day, he still has issues with his gender, but I would not say his problem is identifying with men, truly he cannot identify with almost anyone because there are not many people like him.

But relationships, friendships, sex, dating will always be hard for him, because he is so "over" what most people struggle with that I can only imagine it's hard for him to relate to people hung upon feelings, because he can always see things very logically. I only found out he even had these struggles because I told him about my own and he said he also struggled to fully identify with a gender. It can't obviously speak for him, but I believe i know more or less why he feels the way he feels.

If he has grown up amongst gifted people like himself, he would have had another idea about gender roles, I hardly find any super smart guy who is a macho, super masc wall of muscle type, or a gifted woman who is a bimbo/overly concerned about looks. And while I'm trying to not be judgmental of the people who are this way, it's an oversimplified, overrepresented way of being A or B. This leaves a whole for that slice of the population that is very smart and has unusual ways of thinking...

Just like you need special schools or programs for people who have low intelligence, and understanding that they see the world differently, like might be naive or too trusting of people & need some extra guidance there.

I think gifted people need, really, some special attention on how to integrate themselves in society in a better way because they also are not neurotypical. They need people around them to be more understanding for their differences. While you can say one group has very obvious struggles as the world is not build for them and they're at disadvantage in society, you cannot say necessarily that the other group (the gifted) have it easy. They might be "book smart" but have nearly as much hardships in the same areas as people with mental delays have : relationships, mental health, friendships, finding work, socialization.

It's jus the other side of the same coin, which is, neurotypical, a person with a 60IQ is as non Neurotypical as somebody with a IQ of 140. They're not your average person and equally the world was not built for them. The classical, society, rules, and school system was not built thinking of either the people with 140 IQ or 60 IQ.

Just like when factories making cars don't often think of "how's a midget going to drive this" they don't think about "how are the tallest people will be comfortable/able to drive this?"

Sadly that is the world & these people are often alone trying to figure things out on their own & it can be tougher than most people think

It is nearly impossible for me to truly understand your situation since I'm not male, but being bi, I think I can if I try really hard be aroused at my own naked body (but I think it's just your average naked-sex link in my mind kind of thing) that being said.

I can't really offer much insight with the AGP part, because I was ftm. I have high sex drive & sometimes that gets a bit crazy, these days I'm a pretty vanilla person but when I was younger it was a bit more complicated. For me things did change.

I have to give you some background in order to have things make sense. i have experienced a variety of very serious traumas, which resulted in PTSD or even CPTSD. I don't know if this is anything that could help you, but, for me solving the PTSD was key in reducing some compulsions as well as other symptoms directly related to the PTSD and traumas. Even some of the dysphoria I now know were related to trauma and not something I was born like, it was smt I was forced into.

No amounts of trying to dissect this online will be able to help you as much as you really need. Here is the problems with trans people, most of us are seriously lacking in mental health, most of us are list, hate our own bodies, to the point of suicidal ideation.

I think you need some professional help, I think you have already done what is humanly possible for someone in your situation, the rest is smt that needs to be a process guided by a professional in psychology. I don't want to sound like I'm being negative, talking down to you.

But I think if you have already done so much, I think now it's time to seek a professional help.

I like to look at tit & hey i got them right under my chin & I can jiggle it.

I used to have enormous dysphoria while gorwing up, getting said breasts

Now i like to put some humor flakes on it, why am i hating on breasts just because they're on me?

I don't have any health or time I can't transition & much less be part of the community.

Call me whatever I'm better off now mentally, than many people now addicted to surgeries because they never get "there".

There is a place in your mind is a thing that you want but is it real. Same as i may hate somebody but should i act upon my desire to bitch slap them?.

You gotta make choices in life & can't just think about the future.