This story is from the comments by /u/manouxoxo that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user provides a highly detailed, personal, and emotionally complex narrative of their medical detransition (stopping testosterone, starting estrogen, dealing with a hysterectomy), psychological journey, and relationship. The story is internally consistent over two years, with natural emotional progression, specific medical details, and reflections on deeply personal topics like sexuality, trauma, and identity that are difficult to fabricate convincingly. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the genuine pain of someone who feels they were harmed by their transition.
About me
I am a woman who started taking testosterone at 18 and had a hysterectomy at 20. I now see my transition was a mistake driven by mental health struggles, internalized homophobia, and discomfort with puberty. I deeply regret my hysterectomy and a botched top surgery, which have left me with permanent loss and health complications. After stopping testosterone, I reconnected with my emotions and my true self as a lesbian woman. I am now at peace and rebuilding my life, but I live every day with the consequences of my choices.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition has been the most significant experience of my life. I am a woman, and I was born female, but for a long time, I didn't understand or accept that. I started taking testosterone when I was 18 years old and was on it for seven years. I also had a hysterectomy, which removed my uterus and ovaries, when I was 20. I began to detransition at 25, and now, at 26, I am finally at peace.
Looking back, I think my decision to transition was a mistake. I had a lot of mental health issues, including depression and low self-esteem, and I believe I was influenced a lot by what I saw online. I never felt comfortable during puberty; I hated my breasts and my developing body. I now understand this as a form of puberty discomfort that I misinterpreted. I also realize I was dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia and misogyny. I am a lesbian, and I think a part of me was trying to escape the difficulties that come with being a gay woman in this world. I thought life would be easier if I were a man.
Being on testosterone changed me. My face became more masculine, my skin got rough, and I grew a beard. For the first few years, I couldn't cry at all. My emotions felt flat, and my empathy felt diminished. It was like my true self was hidden. My libido also changed drastically. Before testosterone, I was asexual; I had never had sex or felt the need to masturbate. On testosterone, I had a high, physical sex drive that felt like a need, not a mental desire. I enjoyed it at the time, but it wasn't really me.
The biggest regret of my entire life is my hysterectomy. I had it done mainly to change the sex on my birth certificate. My organs were healthy and functional, and I willingly had them removed. Now, I have to be on estrogen for the rest of my life, probably until I'm 40, because my body can't produce its own hormones. I am dependent on pharmaceuticals, and I’ve increased my risk for health complications like breast cancer. There isn't a single day that goes by where I don't think about this loss. I cry about it. I will never be able to have children, and that is a profound grief.
I also had top surgery, but it was botched. The surgeon used a new method that didn't work, and I was left with only half of my breasts. This, combined with my deep voice and beard, makes it hard to fully see myself as a woman sometimes, but I am working on it.
I stopped testosterone suddenly on March 22, 2021. The withdrawal was difficult; I had a week of exhaustion and headaches, followed by weeks of hot flashes like menopause. But the most amazing thing was getting my emotions back. I started crying again, feeling deeply, and reconnecting with my empathy. It was like waking up.
I started on estrogen gel in April 2021, and the changes were surprisingly fast. My skin became smooth again, my face started to look more feminine, and people began to call me "madam" again. It felt like my body was desperate to return to its true state. My libido vanished immediately, returning to my natural, asexual state.
This journey hasn't been just physical. My girlfriend, who I met when we were both living as men, is also detransitioning. We have spent countless hours talking, working through our internalized lesbophobia and misogyny. We’ve had to learn how to see each other, and ourselves, as women again. It’s been a challenge, but having her by my side has been invaluable.
I’ve come to believe that what I thought was gender dysphoria was actually caused by other things: societal misogyny, internalized homophobia, and a deep discomfort with the pressures of womanhood. Through meditation, self-analysis, and even learning to interpret my dreams, I met my inner self and realized I had been living a dream for eight years. I always dreamed of myself as a girl, even while on testosterone. My unconscious never let go of my true identity.
Now, I am rebuilding my life as a woman. I am learning to be proud of who I am—a lesbian woman. I am reconciling with femininity and trying styles I had rejected for a decade. I am finally peaceful. While I don’t regret the personal strength I gained from being perceived as a man, I deeply regret the permanent changes I made to my body. I truly believe that if I had waited and worked on my mental health, I could have reached this point of self-acceptance without any medical intervention.
| Age | Date (if known) | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 18 | Started testosterone. | |
| 20 | Had a hysterectomy (removal of uterus and ovaries). | |
| 25 | March 10, 2021 | Understood I had made a mistake and needed to detransition. |
| 25 | March 22, 2021 | Took my last dose of testosterone. |
| 25 | April 18, 2021 | Started estrogen therapy. |
| 25 | Began to socially detransition, telling people I am a woman. | |
| 26 | Living as a woman, continuing laser hair removal, and working on self-acceptance. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/manouxoxo:
The journey has been long. It still is. Getting rid of that beard. Working on the voice. Accepting being a woman. Accepting being a lesbian. Dealing with the "no boobs". But at least, at the very least...
- I have my girlfriend besides me, detrans too
- I have dealt with the hysterectomy (it comes back now and then)
- my face is like before
- I get called madam Everytime
- life is so good being my true self, it generally erases everything ....
If you wanna talk, I'm here. ❤️
2022 shall not be a detransition's year. That was 2021. Now I intend to enjoy my life as a woman. To build a life as a woman. I never could do that. At 17, I fell in transgenderism and was never able to learn being a woman. Society sucks for women, that's really true. But I'm a woman and want to show it to the world. Not be ashamed. Happy 2022 to y'all. 💖
If you're French, come PM, we have a Discord to share!
I was on T for 7 years. I understood my "mistake" at my 25th birthday. My 18th birthday was the day I took my first testosterone's shot.
It seems like my birthdays are a thing!
Today is my birthday.
This one is pretty calm and happy.
I'm 26 years old and I've never been more peaceful of all my life.
My girlfriend is detrans too. We discussed a loooot this past year. Now, we can say our detransition is way more behind us than in front of us.
If you want to discuss about some subject, come PM or ask here.
I hope everyone goes on and on. Take your time but never forget why you decided to detransition. It's worth it.
<3
I went to the garage for my car and it's the first time I get called madam. It seems so crazy to get called madam after only 4 months stopping T and 3 months on E. My body want its true self back, quickly. I'm ready for it, more than I thought. I'm finally in peace with my womanhood. I am a woman and it's just that. I didn't need to be a guy to be who I want to be. I'm the same. Just a woman.
If you're French, come PM, we have a Discord to share!
I was on T for 7 years. I understood my "mistake" at my 25th birthday. My 18th birthday was the day I took my first testosterone's shot.
It seems like my birthdays are a thing!
This is now 1 year and a half since I understood I was a woman.
My girlfriend is detrans too.
If you want to discuss about some subject, come PM or ask here.
I hope everyone goes on and on. Take your time but never forget why you decided to detransition. It's worth it.
<3
Thank you ! I feel good finally. It's tough of course, with the beard and the voice and everything. But I can say since 2 weeks that my face is like before and it's so comforting... Lot of work has been done in 6 months, with my misogyny, my lesbianity, my femaleness, my relation to children, ... And it's not finished at all. It's good to be able to go on. It seems like my 8 years as a guy were 8 years of nothing, of no evolution, of depression. I begin to understand who I really am. Thanks for asking. ❤️
Seems like I post every month, sorry for the spamming but I'm changing so fast, I need to show it so old trans like myself can see that it's never too late to detransition. 4 months off T and 3 months on E. I told almost everyone I was a girl. Still telling it to my patients. Feeling so alive, so real, so plainly myself. Hope everyone is doing well.
Years passing by, I was becoming so ugly. My face wouldn't stop getting fatter, my skin was becoming awful... I simply couldn't see myself in a mirror anymore. Today I can tell "of course : I couldn't see myself in mirrors, because it wasn't myself". But at that times, I wasn't aware of that, of course. The ugly side helped me thinking about "stopping testosterone". It was only a matter of time until I would stop my shots.
But what helped me understand I was a woman, was for the most part that : I started to listen to myself. My unconscious. My inner me. I learnt how to analyze dreams. I meditated. I learnt Marseille tarot. And truly, I met my inner self. My real self. That part took years, in fact. About two years where I actively worked trying to understand who I was and why I was so socially phobic, so socially disabled... Two active years following one passive year where the work had begun whithout me thinking about it.
I'm sorry if it's a mess, hard to understand or repetitive. 😅
I stopped testosterone before accepting I was a woman. It took me some months to get to the point where I switched to female pronouns and told I was a woman.
Today it's like an old dream. A dream of 8 years, but a dream anyway. For 8 years, I kept dreaming of myself as a girl. My girlfriend has been on T for 3 years but dreamt of her as a male so I won't tell "it's the thing to know". But I want to point out that my unconscious never let go of my femaleness in my dreams !
There's so much to tell... But learning to get closer to their inner oneself is, in my opinion, a truly wonderful and peaceful way to get to detransition. But that's my opinion.
💖
Thank you 🤭 Completely ! I had to make my clients respect me because it had become terrible 😱 When I was perceived male, they respected me naturally. That's when I understood that we think men know how to make themselves respected and not women, but that's the contrary... We have to be strict more than men. And men can be funny at work, but we can't. Thanks for your question !
It took me some months but I'm currently achieving being proud to be a woman, to be part of womanhood, to be a lesbian... I think it lightens my face and we can read my confidence.. it's hard, really, I didn't think it would take so long but misogyny and lesbophobia are really something. Anyway, thank you !