Yeah I think maybe some clueless straight ppl won’t be able to tell and do that annoying bathroom bs and side eye and crap, but I’d clock you as one of my KIND in a millisecond. Other lesbians knowing you’re female is what really matters in the first place, right? I mean, testosterone or not there will always be a group of heterosexuals whose minds are blown by a woman with short hair who dresses pragmatically.

Honestly I think Kalvin Garrah is a trender too. If I’m real here. He has good points because he basically copies what Blaire White says. I think he is probably decently intelligent, but he is young and pretty much parrots what Blaire says on her videos. I don’t think Blaire will regret transitioning ever, but It’s hard to tel with teens like Kalvin. I could see him going either way

But there’s a detrans woman who had phallo who recently came out as detrans. Idr her name but should look her up.

There was a boom in female transition that surpassed the boom in male transition. Transitioners used to be predominantly male, and that’s changing. Why? Well...first off, I know m/f are both highly unhappy w their bodies now, but teenage girls do this thing in puberty. Like rebelling in weird ways. There are teenage girl trends, and they arise out of...I don’t really know. At one pt it was anorexia, another cutting (I fell into that category and will always have gigantic gash scars in my arms), and now it’s transitioning. Being a teenager sucks, but being a teenage girl? Phew it’s a time. Like imagine if you used to play sports all the time as a kid but all the sudden you get fat growing all over your body (which isn’t “attractive “ in our culture and you start bleeding out of your junk a week out of every month...but like hardcore bleeding, you feel like shit most of the time, even if your social life is perfect (which let’s be real...it isn’t for most teenagers).

The social stuff of male puberty sucks, but add the physical pain and all that of female puberty, plus the psychological shit of knowing that you’re always going to be significantly smaller and weaker than half the population, who can rape you if they want, whether you fight back or not. That’s a feeling of true powerlessness.

Suddenly you can’t be what you wanna be, or at least that’s how puberty felt to me. Guys and girls are basically the same, but female puberty makes us weaker with respect to body weight, and males usually get stronger (like as a kid I could do 3 pull ups no training, as a woman I trained my ass off to get ONE, and on T I got 5 zero training and 16 with training).

The part I’m guessing at is the physical detransition part. I never want to go back to my old body, but I’m in a detrans forum because I accept myself as a woman. I just...”am not like other girls....” physically. Hahaha.

Anyway, at some point, around age 25 is often mentioned, girls become women and become more okay with things, more regulated hormones, more accepting of reality.

I don’t fall into that category, but lesbian sexuality and severe loneliness from being gay (when most of my butch friends transitioned) play into my transition .

Detrans is complicated, but most detrans people I’ve seen transitioned as teenagers, and being a teen girl SUCKS. Also most teenage transitioners seem to be hetero or bisexual, and if we are honest here gender and sexuality are sooooo heavily linked in our society that it’s infuriating when TRAs pretend we don’t pair the two, that gender and sexuality have NOTHING to do with each other. As if 98% of the population being interested in the opposite sex is somehow not correlative at all.

As someone who feels threatened by “ex gays”, which some of these people weren’t ever gay in the first place imo (or still “struggle with gay feelings” aka are gay), I can understand why they would feel threatened. To be honest, I feel worried about my right to ingest male sex hormones as a 30yo butch woman due to some of the anti transition stuff that exists. But just because T didn’t work for one person doesn’t negate the fact that it healed my migraines when no other drug could (among other healing properties). Sometimes people have adverse reactions to antibiotics, and those shouldn’t be invalidated simply because they work for other people.

I think it’s nuanced and ridiculous to expect humans to always know themselves. I do not support children transitioning for this reason...if adults with fully developed frontal lobes can make mistakes, why would a kid not be even more prone to it?

But the reason this fear is there is because our culture sees zero nuance in shit. It’s either left or right, on or off, correct or incorrect. If people could accept that transition is complicated, works for some, doesn’t work for others, and is a vital healing part for part of some people’s lives (partial transition, quitting HRT after x amount of time and being happy with both the decision to start and stop HRT ), then maybe people wouldn’t be so threatened. This seems more of a cultural issue than a trans one.

Edit: also I do believe there are some bullshitters on this forum who have an agenda. I also think there are a number of genuine, real people here telling their truths. I choose to focus on those who are genuine and take people with a grain of salt when they seem a bit too politically motivated. I don’t like that the word “TERF” is thrown around so loosely, but people fear what they don’t know. We are a tribal species. Us vs them is the perfect way to divide people.

I did want to note that it’s 1. Okay to grieve hair loss, and 2. It’s also something you can grow to accept as a part of you with time.

While I’m not personally bald (at this point of my life), I did some irreversible damage to my body as a teenager from cutting. The scars cover my arms and I still see people stare at them 12 years later, but they’ve simply become a part of me. I used to lose sleep over how bad the damage is done to myself was, that I’d never be able to wear short sleeves again, etcetc, and now I go around in tank tops and just live. Some people ask about them, ask if I still cut even (weird because they’re so faded), but they will always be these giant, raised patches of my skin that people will notice, something that has the potential to impact my employment, etc.

I just wanted to say that grief is normal but also that one day you will likely be able to accept yourself as you are. In my opinion the hair loss probably doesn’t look super noticeable from the front, and if people only judge you by the hair on your head, fuck em anyway. All I wanted to say is that you’ll be okay, and I hope you’re able to love yourself one day.

Some of them yes. I’m waiting for it. That milo Stewart chick who changes her nam, gender, etc in a daily basis? Absolutely. I feel bad for the bullying she’s gotten. She clearly isn’t trans and very clearly took T because people were being assholes saying she wasn’t actually trans. I imagine she took it to “prove” how trans she is but will regret that....and the fame she got. Ugh I feel bad for that person.

You’re allowed to take whichever path you want. I’d probably take a few years off and be honest during interviews that something personal happened and you needed to go through a grieving process. You’d be surprised how many ways people live their lives and move through career wise. There’s always this one dominant sort of formula (bullshit) presented, and just like marrying a person of the opposite sex, buying a house, having 2.5 kids, growing old and dying with the prince or princess charming of your dreams is this generally bullshit path that people actually think is realistic, so is the post doc thing.

I was in PhD school for a few years, dropped out, worked in food service for a year, and somehow got a management position in my field. Now I’m studying to be in IT. I may fail at that and end up somewhere I never would’ve predicted. The thing is, our society tries to control too much stuff, and we suffer because of unrealistic expectations. You would be surprised how accepting people can be.

People are wrong all the time. This isn’t the end of the world, the end of your life, any of that. It may feel as such, but I recommend counseling and maybe (if you can find them) detransitioned friends. Or honestly any friend or person that is willing to accept you for who you are. I’d like to be your friend.

Honestly, lesbians are the most body positive group out there. Idk if you’ve seen cari Stella on YouTube, but she’s got a low voice and is gnc//is dating a woman she’s super happy with. Lesbians get so much shit for being ugly in the first place (while simultaneously being fantasized about), that I don’t think we really have time for bullshitting around. Women care about the soul more often than the body (even tho we get accused of fetishizing vaginas lolno), and I can def say the women I’ve been with have been super surprised that I was so into them because of the insane body shaming they’d experienced. It’s like so many of us have no idea we are beautiful because some assholes told us we were ugly bc we aren’t what “women should be.” Women don’t need to be any type of way, and if anyone knows that it’s other lesbians.

Edit : I had my first kiss, gf, etc when I was 19. I was so ashamed of my virginity, but it was so worth it.

I appreciate this forum because it isn’t an echo chamber. As a scientist myself, I find it frustrating how pretty much anything can be “supported by science.” From the inside out, I can tell you science, at the very least produced in America, is corrupt by $$$.

Sorry you have to read some of these comments. It’s weird to make a post and have ppl talking about you instead of to you. This isn’t the same, but when I was a teenager I permanently altered my body in a way I regretted for a long time, knowing people would see said alterations for the rest of my life. Again not the same, but severe scars all over my arms from cutting (not those generic tiny ones; it was like a game I played with myself...how deep could I cut? In the moment the deeper I could cut the stronger I was, the better I handled pain.)

Anyway I’m 30 now and the scars will always be here (and I catch people eyes gazing up my arms a lot), BUT I wanted to say there’s hope. I no longer regret that. I was worried about employment, and it’s fine.

Even as a butch woman with scars all up her arm, I’ve been able to be pretty successful as a scientist (I picked this career to be in the background/not customer facing, but more because of panic attacks than scars).

Anyway what I’m trying to say is that you will probably go through some regret for a while, but over time you will likely forget about it (for the most part). If you work at making good friends/relationships with the people around you, how you appear physically to others stops mattering quite as much (in my experience).

I wish you the best. DM me if you’d like to talk