This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments span four years, showing consistent, nuanced views on gender dysphoria, detransition, and being a gender-nonconforming woman. The writing is complex, personal, and engages with the topic's emotional and philosophical difficulties, which is typical of a genuine individual with lived experience. The passion and criticism of "transgender ideology" align with the expected perspective of some detransitioners/desisters.
About me
I was deeply unhappy and thought my depression meant I was born the wrong gender, so I pursued hormones and surgery to become a man. I believed that medically transitioning would fix me, but the relief I felt after my surgery was only temporary. I eventually realized my discomfort was more about puberty and struggling to accept myself as a masculine woman. I now understand myself as a gender non-conforming woman and have made peace with that. I regret permanently altering my body for what was a temporary solution to a much deeper problem.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was deeply unhappy and looking for a reason why. I felt miserable all the time and latched onto the idea that my depression was because I was born in the wrong body. It felt easier to blame my feelings on gender dysphoria because it gave me a clear path forward: get hormones, get surgery, and then I'd finally be happy. It gave me an external goal to focus on so I didn't have to look too deeply at my own internal state.
I started by identifying as non-binary, which felt like a less scary first step. But eventually, I moved towards identifying as a trans man. I pursued a medical transition and got top surgery. For a while, I thought it had fixed me. But the relief I felt was temporary. After the excitement of achieving that goal faded, I was left with the same underlying misery I had before, plus the permanent changes to my body.
Looking back, I see now that a lot of my discomfort was related to puberty and the development of a female body. I hated my breasts and felt incredibly uncomfortable with the changes happening to me. I think I also had a lot of internalized homophobia to work through; being a masculine woman felt impossible, so becoming a man seemed like the only way to be accepted.
I’ve come to understand myself as a gender non-conforming woman. It’s not a typical relationship with womanhood, and I’ve made peace with the fact that I’ll never quite fit in. I’m happy presenting as this kind of woman now. I generally avoid using labels and I'm fine with letting people assume what they want about me.
I do have some regrets about my transition, specifically about getting top surgery. I permanently altered my body for what I now see was a temporary solution to a deeper problem. I wish I had explored other ways to treat my dysphoria and depression first, like different kinds of therapy. I believe it does a disservice to people to not explore all options for treating dysphoria, just like we offer therapy alongside medication for depression.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 19 | 2017 | Started identifying as non-binary, began social transition. |
| 21 | 2019 | Pursued medical transition, started identifying as a trans man. |
| 22 | 2020 | Underwent top surgery. |
| 24 | 2022 | Began to detransition, reconciling with being a gender non-conforming woman. |
Top Comments by /u/marimachadas:
The argument about whether or not people are as satisfied as they self report tends to go nowhere because people can get very personally offended by the idea. A lot of times I bring up the fact that in addition to desisters who weren't satisfied by medical transition there are also people (trans-identified or otherwise) who would like to transition but can't for various reasons and people who reach the end of what medical transition can provide and still experience dysphoria over things they can't change. Even putting aside beliefs on transgender ideology, it does a disservice a wide variety of people to not explore other kinds of dysphoria treatment. It doesn't invalidate depressed people to offer therapy as a treatment option besides or in conjunction with medication, so why should other options for treatment of dysphoria be demonized?
Sometimes people feel miserable and like something must be wrong with them and latch onto an external reason to be able to look forward to tangible things that will "fix" them. It can feel easier to blame the depression symptoms on gender dysphoria, because if that's the reason for your depression then once you get hormones/surgery/etc you'll be happy. If you always have an external goal of getting the next gender affirming procedure on your list, that's something with relatively clear steps to follow to get there and you don't have to reflect too deeply on your internal state. Not that everyone who identifies as trans is just depressed, but the common trans narrative that the person felt miserable and then transitioned and was so much happier sounds very enticing when you're always miserable and don't know why.
If your boobs are that small you could just stop wearing bras and I doubt people would notice. If you're worried about your nipples being visible, buy reusable nipple pasties. I have a larger chest than you describe and I don't wear any sort of bra or nipple covers and have never had issues. If it has nothing to do with gender why does spending thousands of dollars and fighting to get approved for surgery and dealing with the waiting times due to everyone else wanting top surgery seem worth it? Surgery isn't the only solution here.
I'm a gnc woman, so although I've reconciled with my birth gender it's not a typical relationship and I'm still breaking a lot of norms. I've made peace with how I'll never quite fit in and I'm happy presenting as this kind of woman. I generally avoid using labels unless explicitly asked and I'm fine to just let people assume what they want about me since my relationship to womanhood isn't so straightforward.
Any relationship in which you're being guilted to change isn't worth your time. Even if he isn't leaving, this is setting up a relationship dynamic that puts the pressure on you to limit yourself to changes that are palatable to him, and that isn't a mentally healthy way for you to figure out what you want your life to look like. If you talk to him about how this is hurtful and unfair to you and he doesn't change his behavior, I would recommend leaving him. There will be other people in your life who love you, and the relationships you develop will be more meaningful if you allow yourself to grow however you see fit and find people who respect the person you are.