This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account does not show clear red flags of being inauthentic.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and personal perspective. The user shares their own background (abusive stepdad, religious upbringing), offers empathetic advice, and expresses complex political and philosophical views. The language is natural, with varied sentence structure and personal reflection that is difficult for bots to replicate.
While the user identifies as "not trans" and questions why more trans girls don't detransition, this aligns with the stated purpose of the subreddit and the passionate, critical viewpoints often found there. There is no evidence suggesting this is a bot or someone falsely posing as a desister.
About me
I was born male and my journey started with a difficult childhood where I was bullied for not being a masculine boy. I almost embraced a trans identity because it seemed like an answer for why I felt so different, but I realized I was just running from society's expectations of men. What I really needed was to process my past trauma and find self-acceptance outside of gender. Through meditation and spirituality, I learned that I can be a whole person as a sensitive man without changing my body. I am now at peace, grateful I avoided medical steps, and I've rejected the idea of transition altogether.
My detransition story
My journey with all of this is complicated and I’m still figuring it out. I never fully transitioned medically, but I came very close to identifying as trans and it was a confusing time in my life. Looking back, I think a lot of my feelings were rooted in a difficult childhood and not fitting into the stereotypical box of what a boy should be.
I was born male, but I was always a more sensitive kid. I had an abusive stepdad and I got bullied a lot for not being masculine enough. I remember in 7th or 8th grade, I just decided to say "fuck it" and started doing my own thing, like growing my hair long and writing poetry. I identified more with my mom. If I had been born a few years later, or if I hadn't had the strict religious upbringing I did, I think I might have been pushed to embrace a trans identity. The idea was tempting because it seemed like an answer to why I felt so different. But what I really wanted, more than anything, was just to be myself, without anyone telling me that boys can't cry or have long hair.
A lot of my struggle was about not meeting society's expectations for my sex. I never hated my body in the way some people describe body dysmorphia; I just hated the roles and stereotypes that were forced on me. I think I internalized a lot of homophobia from my religious background, even though I'm heterosexual. I was running from the idea of being a sensitive, emotional man because I was taught that was weak or wrong. It was a form of escapism.
I benefited a lot from stepping back from all the noise online and in certain communities. I noticed that a lot of people who detransition seem to be females who started testosterone in their teens, and it made me wonder about the different pressures we face. For me, finding a different way to process my past was key. I explored things like Buddhism, meditation, and spirituality, which gave me a "meta-story" to understand my life without needing to change my body. It helped with my anxiety and depression.
I don’t regret exploring these feelings because it led me to a place of greater self-acceptance. My biggest realization was that I don't have to be a woman to be a whole person. I can be a man who is sensitive, who cries, and who writes poetry. Strength isn't about gender. History is full of incredibly strong women, and I realized that transitioning wouldn't have given me some magical key to confidence or success; those are things you have to build within yourself, regardless of your body.
I never took hormones or had any surgery, so I avoided serious health complications and I'm not infertile. For that, I am incredibly grateful. I see the stories of people who have permanent changes and my heart goes out to them. Waking up to the reality that you can't change your sex must be earth-shattering. My journey was primarily social and internal, and in the end, I chose to reject the idea of transition altogether. I am at peace with the body I was born in.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12-13 (7th/8th grade) | Decided to reject masculine stereotypes, grew hair long, embraced more feminine interests. Felt intense social pressure to conform. |
| Throughout teens | Struggled with depression and anxiety due to bullying and an abusive home life. Felt disconnected from traditional male roles. |
| Late teens/Early 20s | Explored trans identity online as a potential answer to my feelings of being different. Ultimately rejected it. |
| Early 20s | Found benefit in non-affirming therapy, meditation, and spirituality (Buddhism) to process trauma and find self-acceptance. |
| Present | Accepted myself as a male who doesn't conform to masculine stereotypes. No regrets about not transitioning. |
Top Comments by /u/mayoayox:
I'm glad you're able to get this off your chest. This is a message for a lot of people. They need to hear it before they start permanently changing their bodies. Waking up to the idea that you never will be a real woman must've been earth-quaking for you, but it's a truth you have to encounter and face and hopefully overcome. Keep fighting the good fight. I wish you the best of luck, and hopefully you're story, or as much of your story as you desire, is heard by people who are where you were 20 years ago.
Off topic but I've noticed a lot of people in this community in general seem to be girls who started their transition or started taking T when they were in their mid to late teens.
Is that observation on point or am I biased? Why dont more trans girls have this problem after they transition? Also, do trans girls take estrogen the same way trans guys take T?
Have you tried like, buddhism or something like that? Or some kind of wellness spirituality or meditation?
I guess I'm just trying to say you might need some kind of meta-story to help you process your past. I get what you mean about hate groups and insider clubs and all. I call those 'ungodly cliques'
Possibly true. The powers that be are doing everything they can to make sure the upcoming right-wing nationalist response to post-modernism doesnt take any stromghold on culture.
Edit to say I'm not a nationalist. I just understand why far right nationalism is a natural response to post-modernism.
It's a type of nihilism that says, "the whole world is going to hell in a handbasket,"-- which I believe is true,-- "so I'm going to make sure I get ahead of everyone else." Extend this extreme selfishness (or self-preservationism) to the family, then to the group, then to the local community and finally to the nation and you have extreme nationalism. Some call it evil, some call it noble, I say it's not that different than any other man-made ideology that people cling to, a la intersectionality or Marxism or laissez-faire capitalism. So. I get how maybe it seemed like I am condoning 'nazism' but really I'm just making an observation.
I just want to encourage you. I hope this is encouraging, anyway. Idk if it will be, but bear with me.
You dont have to be a man to be strong. History is full of strong women. And you really have a choice to be strong without doing anything to your body; transitioning will not necessarily make you a stronger person.
I dont know what your goals are, but if its something like you want to be a business owner or an engineer or something, heres the thing. There is a glass ceiling. You are gonna have people that dont take you seriously because you're a girl.
But listen, fuck'em. Girls can do anything boys can do. And you may have to be really good before people take you seriously, but 1) that's pretty much true for everybody, male and female, and 2) you're gonna be really talented when you get there! That's the goal. Let the haters motivate you. Break that glass ceiling!
I think of strong women in history like Margaret Thatcher and there is really a special type of strength and influence women have that men could never have, and if you transitioned I think you'd be giving that up without getting a lot of the real benefits of being a man. (many of those benefits arent societal. They're learned during early childhood, they're things that a father is responsible for teaching his children. You can learn those things without being a boy, and you can be a boy without having learned any of those things.)
I know that looks like a bunch of word vomit or babble and maybe I just dont know what I'm talking about but I hope something in there is encouraging.
Im not trans but I did have an abusive stepdad and growing up I was always more sensitive. I got bullied a lot, but sometime in 7th or 8th grade I just said fuck it and started doing my own thing.
If I hadnt had the religious upbringing I had had, or if I had been born 5 years later, maybe I would embrace a trans identity (cause growing up I always did identify more with my mom). But instead of trying to be a boy or trying to be a girl, all I really wanted growing up was to be myself, and God damn them if they think boys cant cry or have long hair or write poetry.
Freaked me out at that part of the recording so good job lol.
Stupid question maybe but why dont detrans people just switch hormone treatment? Like could OP start taking estrogen instead to help become more feminine again?
Also, i know 110 is pretty far down there so good job OP for getting to your goal! Sounded good to me.