This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The user's comments are consistent, empathetic, and offer personal advice drawn from lived experience. The language is natural, with varied sentence structure and personal anecdotes. The user also demonstrates knowledge of the community by referencing common arguments ("rEaL tRans") and advocating for the subreddit. The passion and focus on self-love and acceptance align with the expected perspective of a genuine desister.
About me
I started feeling uncomfortable as a woman in my early twenties and thought I must be a trans man, so I lived as one for over five years. I learned that I was trying to fix my internal lack of self-love with an external change, which only made me more lost. I eventually realized I didn't need to fit a stereotype to be a woman and began to appreciate my body and my birth name. I'm grateful I never pursued medical steps, as I found my way back to myself through self-acceptance. While I don't regret the journey, my advice is to focus on self-love and stability before making any big decisions about transition.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender was really complicated, and looking back, I see now that a lot of my feelings were tangled up with other issues. For a long time, I didn't feel comfortable as a woman. I hated my breasts and my body felt wrong. I fell into the idea that I must be trans because I didn't fit the stereotypical idea of a woman. I started to socially transition and lived as a trans man for over five years. I thought that was the only way to fix the discomfort I felt.
A big part of my problem was a lack of self-love. I think that's how a lot of people end up in situations like mine. You look for an external change to fix an internal problem. I was so focused on changing my body and my name to match this new identity, but it just made me more confused and anxious. The further I went into transitioning, the more lost I felt. I wish someone had told me to work on accepting my body and myself first, before adding all those other variables. It just creates a mess.
I eventually realized that I didn't need to be anyone else's definition of a woman. I just needed to be me. It took me a while to stop seeing "the boy" in me and to start appreciating my feminine characteristics. I had what I call "name dysphoria" too, but I even learned to embrace my birth name, even though it's one of those names people always make jokes about. I realized its uniqueness was a good thing.
I never went as far as taking hormones or having surgery. I'm so glad I didn't, because I was able to find my way back to myself without making permanent changes. I started to understand that the grass is always greener. There are busty women who wish they had small, petite frames so they could be androgynous. For me, learning self-love was the key. It's easier said than done, but I started by telling myself one nice thing every day and trying to put good energy out into the world. Over time, that made a huge difference.
I don't regret exploring my gender because it led me to where I am now, but I do regret not addressing my underlying self-esteem and anxiety issues first. Living as a trans person for years doesn't mean you weren't "real"; for me, it showed that being trans doesn't have to be a lifelong thing if it's not right for you. My main advice to anyone questioning is to focus on yourself—your education, self-care, financial stability—before making any big decisions about transition. If you still want it in five years, you can pursue it then with a clearer head.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early 20s | Began feeling intense discomfort with my body and social role as a woman. Started to believe I was a trans man. |
| Early 20s | Started socially transitioning; began living full-time as a man and using a different name. |
| Late 20s | After over 5 years living as a trans man, began to feel increasingly confused and anxious about my identity. |
| Late 20s | Started the process of detransitioning, focusing on self-acceptance and learning to appreciate my female body. |
| 30 | Fully re-identified as a woman, having embraced my birth name and found peace with my body. |
Top Comments by /u/meinkamfert:
IMHO, don’t seek out any surgical changes. PLENTY of women fall into the androgynous category. You don’t need to be anyone else’s definition of a woman. You just need to be you. It took me a while to stop seeing “the boy” in me. I think it’s mostly a mental thing. I started looking at myself in the mirror and pointing out my feminine characteristics and appreciating them. The grass is always greener. There’s busty women that wish they could have small petite frames, so they could be the in-between andro-fashionista.
Honestly, I felt the same until I started embracing my birth name as an adult. I’ve got one of those names EVERYONE makes the same joke about EVERYDAY. But then I realized it works in my favour (Unique quirky names stick out & makes it easier to remember). I’d suggest going by your birth name for awhile. It’s like name dysphoria. Does your birth name have any obvious short hands?
The further you go into transitioning, the more confused you’re going to get. Work on your other issues before trialing anything with being trans. You’ll probably come out the other end of this not trans (not dissing anyone) I would highly suggest working on the acceptance of your body and self first. Adding to many variables will make a mess. And if you start going by a feminine name/ dressing a woman, it’s going to heighten the feeling of gender dysphoria and anxiety, neither of which you need while you’re healing.
I would head toward focusing on you. Saving up money wouldn’t be a bad idea regardless. If in 5 years, you still want surgery, you have the money. If you don’t, you’ve got a nice safety net. I would just focus on yourself (education, self care, financial stability, etc.)
If ifs and buts we’re candy and nuts, we’d all have a merry christmas. You can’t change what happened, but you can stop yourself from doing things like that in the future. (pardon my cliche) IMHO Self love is the most important thing because I think lack of self love is how most people end up in our situations.
I was just (drunkenly) lecturing a friend about this (and I’d love to hear your feedback). I told him he needed to love himself, but it’s easier said than done. So I told him to wake up everyday and say one nice thing to himself, and throughout the day find one stranger to say/do one nice thing for. I feel like over time, you’ll put so much love into the world, you’ll start to feel the world loving you back (karma lul).
Ah, I see your point. My apologies.
Also, I plug this sub constantly when ppl make the argument “well if you were rEaL tRans you would still be TRANS”
like living your life as a trans person for 5+ years isn’t not being rEaL tRaNs, it’s literally showing it’s not a lifelong ordeal if you don’t want it to be.