This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake persona.
The comments display a consistent, detailed, and emotionally resonant personal history spanning decades (1980s feminism, breast cancer, adult children, legal career). The user expresses complex, nuanced opinions that align with the stated perspective of an older feminist and desister who is critical of gender ideology. The tone is passionate and personal, which is consistent with the warning that detransitioners/desisters can be "very passionate and pissed off." The account does not exhibit the repetitive, shallow, or scripted patterns typical of inauthentic accounts.
About me
I'm a woman who started exploring transition because I felt trapped by female stereotypes, not womanhood itself. My journey was deeply impacted by my two adult children, who transitioned and cut me off after I couldn't accept that people can change their sex. Having survived breast cancer, I'm now very cautious about hormones and reject the idea of "gender" in favor of our biological sex. I've learned that true freedom is being yourself without any labels, whether that means wearing a dress or pants. While I regret the pain this has caused my family, my own difficult past helped me find my center.
My detransition story
My journey with all of this is complicated and has really been about trying to find where I fit. Looking back, a lot of my initial push to transition came from a deep discomfort with the stereotypes and expectations placed on me as a woman. I was an old-school feminist back in the 80s; we fought for the right to just be ourselves, however that looked. It was about freedom from stereotypes. So it’s been horrifying to see this modern movement that seems entirely built on enforcing them, especially seeing men dressing in these stereotypical female outfits and claiming to have experiences like periods.
A big part of my story involves my children. Two of my adult kids decided they were trans. They are both survivors of sexual abuse from their paternal grandfather, and I believe that trauma played a huge role in their decision. When they announced it, they turned a lot of hatred on me because I don't believe a person can actually change their sex. It’s been incredibly painful. They haven't spoken to me in years, and it’s even affected my relationship with my other children, who are afraid to go against them. Mother's Day came and went without a word from any of them. It’s a common but very sad story.
I had my own brush with the community a long time ago. Back in 1983-84, I was involved in the gay and lesbian community, and honestly, they were some of the most messed-up people I’d ever met. I moved away, and after some life changes, I decided I was done with it by 1986. I went back to heterosexual relationships, got married in 1990, and I’m still married. That experience taught me a hard lesson about finding out who your true friends are and learning to be true to yourself without needing outside approval or labels. It was a painful lesson, but an important one.
I’m also a breast cancer survivor, so my view on hormones is very cautious. The only hormone therapy I allow myself is a small amount of natural progesterone cream. Otherwise, I avoid all phytoestrogens. Reading about other people's experiences with HRT makes me cringe, knowing what these powerful hormones can do.
My thoughts on gender are simple: I think we need to stop using the word "gender" and instead talk about "sex," which is our biological reality. When you do that, you exit the trap of stereotyped behavior and outside expectations. You can just start being you, however you want to be. For me, that meant eventually getting comfortable with things I never thought I would. I never did the mani-pedi thing back in my 80s feminist phase, but now I find it relaxing. I started wearing a little makeup first to take care of my skin, and then because it’s creative and fun. After my breast cancer reconstruction, I couldn't wear pants for a while, so I wore dresses. Now I just wear whatever I feel like that day. The point is, you don't need to be anyone but yourself.
Do I have regrets? I regret that this ideology has torn my family apart. I regret that my children are caught in something so destructive. For myself, my time in the GLB community was a mistake, but it was a learning experience that ultimately helped me become more centered. I don't regret transitioning socially in that sense because it led me to where I am now.
I believe there will be a huge wave of lawsuits coming from all of this, similar to the thalidomide lawsuits. The doctors, psychologists, and counselors who pushed this on vulnerable people better have good malpractice insurance.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| ~20 | 1983-1984 | Was involved in the gay/lesbian community. |
| ~22 | 1986 | Left the community and moved back to heterosexual relationships. |
| ~26 | 1990 | Got married. |
| 60+ | 2010s | Underwent treatment and reconstruction for breast cancer. |
| - | 2010s | Two adult children transitioned and cut off contact. |
| 60+ | 2020 | Reflecting on my experiences and supporting others in detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/merinw:
I am a lawyer. I will be retiring soon but I foresee a huge wave of lawsuits, like the thalidomide lawsuits from that failed experiment. Lawyers will make bank. All these physicians, psychologists, mental health counselors and their ilk better have good malpractice insurance.
I had that experience coming out in the gay/lesbian community back in 1983-84. The most effed up people I have ever met in one place in my life. I ended up moving a longs ways away and with some other life changes and another move, by 1986 I decided Zibwas done with it. Went back to straight, got married in 1990 and still am. I have had great compassion for people in the G/L community over the years. When my youngest two adult children announced they were trans, both sexual abuse survivors at the hands of their paternal grandfather (my ex’s father), and the hatred they then turned on me because I don’t believe in actual transformation (as in like really turning into the opposite sex) that was it for me. I steer a wide path. They haven’t spoken to me in several years. Mother’s Day was Sunday and not one of my four children in called, did anything. The older two, heterosexual, are afraid to buck the younger two. It is a common story, sad to say. You are fortunate to get out.
I love reading your story and I wish I could share with my daughter but she cut me off when she decided with no discussion with me she was FTM. Since she was 34 at the time, she was old enough to grant me some respect but alas that did not happen. I just wish she could see how so many are detransitioning. She lives in the PNW, an echo chamber, so that is not likely to happen. We all old feminists fought for women to be free of stereotypes. Imagine our horrified view of this movement - totally based on stereotypes. Especially men LARPing in stereotyped female get ups. Invading our spaces. Pretending they have periods. I am so grateful for you sharing your journey!
Your type of lawsuit would likely be on a contingency basis. The expenses would be fronted by the law firm, then deducted from the award before the lawyer split the remainder with you. Most splits are scaled percentages, based on when the settlement occurs. It would be worth your time to at least talk to a lawyer before ruling this out. Choose one that does a lot of medical malpractice/personal injury.(Note: I am a lawyer, but I do not practice in this area of law)
When you stop using their words: “gender,” and use “sex” to describe your DNA, you exit the trap of stereotyped behavior and outside expectations. Then you can start just being you, however you want to be, and stop allowing others (who don’t have your best interests in mind) to decide for you, how you want to be. Over time, you may decide to do some things that feel fun and comfortable to you. As in, I never did the mani/pedi thing back in my early 30’s 1983 feminist phase (oh hell no). Now it is relaxing and I do it regularly. I eventually began wearing some makeup. First to take care of my skin (I didn’t want to look like an old shoe at 60- and I don’t), then a little other stuff because it is creative and fun. I avoided dresses, but after breast cancer and reconstruction using my abdominal muscle, pants were not comfortable for several years. Now I just wear what strikes my mood. Modern feminism is frightening and I avoid it. Back when I was interested in feminism, it was about being free to be yourself, however that is. That is a great way to live. I think stereotypes are toxic. I want you to know you don’t need to be anyone but you, how ever that is. And that is just fine. And, p.s.: Don’t worry about your boobs. There are a lot of good solutions now due to breast cancer being out of the closet. Find a good plastic surgeon who will talk to you about reconstruction. Get Care Credit so you can finance it. Take it one day at a time. We all fuck up in our lives. It is how we learn. By the time you get to be my age, you are a stellar student in the Screw up School of Learning. It’s all good. It’s what we are here to do. Hugs, Little Sister! ,
As a breast cancer survivor, I cringed reading you brief words about your HRT experience. The only hormone therapy I permit myself is daily small amounts of progesterone cream from wild yams made by Pro-Gest. It helped getting through menopause and still helps. Otherwise I avoid phytoestrogens. Re legal - you have nothing to lose but a consult fee to talk to an attorney to find out if your rights were violated. If you have a case. Virtual hugs- you deserve many fir all you’ve been through!
I had the same experience in the 80’s with the the GLB community when I went back to het relationships (for many reasons). You find out who your true friends are. You get more centered about being true to yourself. You quit defining yourself through labels and outside approval.
It is actually an awesome life lesson, just painful as fuck to experience.
I admire your courage and know many others do too.