This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account "merpderpderp1" appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user's comments are highly detailed, emotionally consistent, and demonstrate a deep, nuanced, and personal understanding of the detransition experience, lesbian identity, and the underlying social factors like internalized misogyny and homophobia. The perspective is complex, critical, and evolves over time, which is characteristic of a real person processing their own experiences and beliefs. The language is natural, and the user offers specific, empathetic advice to others, which is not typical of a bot or troll.
About me
I grew up in a small town and never saw examples of lesbians, so I thought my crushes on girls meant I must be a boy inside. I later realized this was a trauma response to sexism and internalized homophobia, not an innate identity. I considered medical transition but saw it worsen the lives of friends instead of fixing their real problems. I found my answer in self-acceptance as a butch lesbian, learning that womanhood is vast and includes me. I am now happily married to a woman, comfortable in my skin, and grateful I never medically transitioned.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was really young, but I didn't have the words for any of it back then. I grew up in a small, conservative town where being gay wasn't talked about. I didn't even know what a lesbian was. I had crushes on girls, but when I'd daydream about them, I always pictured myself as a boy. It wasn't that I wanted a penis; it was because in all the stories I knew, the boy was the one who got the girl. The female characters were boring and poorly written, and in real life, the men seemed to be respected more. My brain made a simple, kid-logic connection: I knew I was a full person, an equal to boys, and since girls were treated as less, I must be a boy inside. That's how I made sense of my feelings.
When I played pretend with friends, I was always the boy character. It felt natural. As I got older and started having sexual feelings, that idea stuck around sometimes. I’ve come to realize it wasn't some innate "gender identity"; it was a bunch of things I'd internalized from a sexist society. I'm a lesbian, and not having any examples of what that looked like messed with my head. I thought the discomfort I felt with femininity and the way I was expected to be as a girl meant I wasn't a girl at all.
I started reading online and found communities where this feeling had a name: gender dysphoria. For a while, I thought I might be a trans man. I considered taking testosterone and getting top surgery. I saw transition being sold as a cure for this deep discomfort. But something always held me back. I started to notice that a lot of the people talking about transition online seemed to have similar underlying issues: internalized homophobia, past trauma, autism, or a deep discomfort with puberty and their body that came from societal pressures, not from some innate truth.
I began to see that my desire to transition was a trauma response. It was a way to try and escape the sexism I experienced and the shame I felt about being a lesbian. I saw friends of mine transition, and it often seemed to make their lives worse, not better. One of my best friends, a gay man, transitioned and became completely consumed by it. He developed serious problems with alcohol, became deeply misogynistic, and we're not friends anymore. Watching him convinced me that hormones and surgery don't fix the real problems; they often just add new, serious health complications on top of everything else.
I realized that trying to become a man was a cowardly way to try and opt out of the difficulties of being a woman. It felt like I was betraying other women by saying I was too good to deal with the sexism they all face. True strength, I decided, was in accepting myself as a butch lesbian and fighting against sexism, not running from it. I started seeking out older butch lesbians as role models and building strong friendships with women. Seeing them live confidently and unapologetically was healing. It showed me that womanhood is vast and includes women like me. Femininity does not equal womanhood.
I never went through with any medical interventions. I'm so grateful I didn't. I'm now in my early twenties, married to a woman, and finally comfortable in my own skin. I dress in a masculine way, and that's just how I am. I don't regret exploring my feelings, but I deeply regret ever buying into the idea that I was born in the wrong body. The solution was always self-acceptance and therapy, not transition. I believe the trans movement is a harmful result of a hyper-individualistic, sexist society, and it's causing a lot of damage, especially to young, gay people. My advice to anyone questioning is to log off, find good therapy, build real-world connections, and learn to love yourself as you are.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | Felt different, imagined myself as a boy in fantasies and play, due to internalized homophobia and sexist messaging. |
| Teen Years | Discovered online trans communities and began to question my gender, considering I might be a trans man. |
| Late Teens / Early 20s | Realized my feelings stemmed from internalized homophobia and sexism, not a true transgender identity. Decided against medical transition. |
| Early 20s (Now) | Found self-acceptance as a butch lesbian. Built a life I love, understanding that womanhood is not defined by stereotypes. |
Top Comments by /u/merpderpderp1:
What I'm going to say is controversial, but it's the truth.
To be real with you, the large majority of the "lgbt" community is just straight and bisexual people with some serious mental illness and a need to be a victim. The actual gay community, and the actual lesbian community, you know, actual gay people that know eachother in person and probably don't have Twitter accounts, tends to be much more grounded and not agree with trans bs at all. Average gay and lesbian people tend to come from all sorts of backgrounds and aren't unified by any common political beliefs although we're a little more likely to be leftist. Remember, the dumbest people tend to be the loudest, especially online.
If you're bisexual but have no intention of ever having a relationship with a woman, why do you want to have anything to do with the lgbt community anyways? The answer is that it's entirely made up of people that fit that same description and similar ones, and not normal same-sex attracted people in functional same-sex relationships. The lgbt community becoming this is what led to it being overrun with bad politics and terrible takes about trans issues and everyone's sexuality being a sliding scale (aka everyone being bisexual).
If it was the LG community it would actually be focused on human rights for gay people instead of being focused on trans issues, convincing everyone sexuality is fluid, and bathing in victim mentality. The problem was always people shoving their way in and wanting to be part of the party, and the boundaries of who belongs being expanded far beyond what it ever should have. The lack of gatekeeping and letting straight people under the trans and "queer" labels and bi's that have never and never will be in a same-sex relationship running the show IS the problem and has been ever since everything went to shit and was no longer about gay rights.
Anyways, gay rights is politics so the whole reason the community was formed in the first place was political. So the argument should be that the community isn't focused on the right politics, not that it shouldn't be political at all. Of course, as someone who has barely any reason to have vested interest in gay rights in the first place, it makes sense you would wish for politics to not be involved at all.
They admit that they do it because they want a "normal" relationship with a man. They're completely open about the only reason they consider themselves a transsexual: internalized homophobia.
No, as a gay person, I do not think that hsts trans is somehow better and not a part of the problem and that agp's are the bad guys. Upholding and reinforcing homophobia and essentially identifying yourself as a "reformed" homosexual is gross. It's just conversion therapy, liberal edition.
Take that L off the LGBTQ bcuz the lesbians be supportin'. Typically, in general, homosexuals are going to be more supportive of detransitioning while trans people/people with various identities that they attach to their gender instead of just their sexuality, like a lot of the people who just call themselves queer, will react negatively. This is because they feel that detransitioners undermine the very black and white narrative that they tell themselves.
Honestly, the L & the G need to flee.. the "community." I would say the B also but let's be real, in general they're way more likely to support the narratives that undermine the concept of homosexuality, like the idea everyone's sexuality is "fluid." This idea of absolute fluidity and change runs counter to the existence of heterosexuality and homosexuality, but very much supports the concept of gender transition and how everyone is supposed to be attracted to every sex as long as the person identifies correctly..
My friend that also displays every marker you listed no longer talks to me because I tried to talk him out of srs. The black and white thinking because of autism + all of the untreated trauma made it impossible to talk to him about it. Honestly, have the conversation with him, be brutally honest, and if he stops talking to you, that's the end of it. You don't have to stay friends with this person and comfort him through the suffering he's choosing for himself. Even if you really, really care about him, staying friends with him probably isn't the healthiest option for you.
Going through this with my friend with both of us in our 20's was really painful, we went from best friends to me barely being able to talk to him without him saying something super misogynistic and off-putting, or getting drunk and rambling self-hate. Srs was the last nail in the coffin of terrible decisions he was making that I couldn't bear to witness. I cannot imagine dealing with a friend going through this at 16. All you can do really is beg them to explore the actual root of their issues in therapy and then back away for the sake of your own mental health and stability because this is all too much for highschool.
You are concerned whether you are actually transgender, but the issue is that no one is "actually" transgender. If you transition, you are transgender. This idea that there are true transgender people and there are people who are mistaken and go through a process they didn't need isn't even close to the truth. No one who makes the decision to transition "needed" to transition, they just wanted to. They felt like it was right for them and made that decision without knowing how they would feel about it in the future. It's an unnecessary risk that is being pushed on people as an easy solution for complicated problems.
There is no cure for gender dysphoria other than lots of therapy and working on learning to love yourself as you are and dealing with it. No one is born with a condition where the cure is taking cross sex hormones and having medically unnecessary surgeries where they lob off healthy body parts. Even intersex people sometimes regret that they were operated on or told to take cross sex hormones when they were younger.
My main concern is that you are 18. I am 23, so I'm not some preachy middle-aged person who forgot what it's like to be a teenager, but I think I am about to say something that makes me sound like I am. You have not lived as an adult woman yet. You don't know what your adult life will look like or how you will feel about it.
I did not anticipate how much my life would change just in my early 20s. In my teen years, I was horribly depressed and felt like I would amount to nothing. I was stuck in a small town, feeling trapped in a suffocating society and trapped in my own body. Now I'm married to a woman who makes my life worth living, I'm immigrating to another country and living in a beautiful city I could've never imagined.
Of course my life isn't perfect but I feel filled with hope that I might actually get to travel the world, get a job I don't hate, learn new languages and forge new friendships that matter. Once I settled into the beginnings of adult life, I began to feel more comfortable with who I am and how I present (masculine).
I think you need to experience new environments, new people, your first real love, insanely good food, etc. and start loving life before you start messing with the concept of transition, which is not so different from drastic plastic surgeries people unnecessarily get, except with more potential health issues. I'll also throw in a mention that I'm dealing with an ovarian cyst right now, and reproductive system issues are no joke. Testosterone can cause your reproductive system to atrophy, and atrophy or hysterectomy are both awful. I would never bring something like that on myself now that I've dealt with something that, let's be real, is mild in comparison (but still very painful).
A huge part of the reason is probably that the tank top style makes your torso look more square, but also, it's okay to dress masculine. It doesn't make you any less of a woman even if people misgender you.
People might also know that you're obviously a woman, but just tell you what they think you want to hear because of the current state of gender politics. That's what happens to me.
Stop watching porn for the rest of your life and only let yourself think about healthy sexual relations and fantasies. How do you think monks stay celibate? It's about self-control and valuing your quality of life. Put your morals and respect for yourself above your desire. Instead of feeling fear, feel confident in your self-control.
The majority of people are straight. So even though there's plenty of gay people that are trans and that used to be the majority, as gender ideology and being trans became increasingly mainstream and accepted (and very online) it is not surprising at all that there was an astronomical increase of heterosexuals involved.
So, now, a lot of trans spaces are dominated by transbians and fujoshi. It's only going to continue to get worse, as we can already see there's people at the head of trans organizations (some of which used to be gay rights orgs, rip) that are straight.
This is just an unscientific observation, but there seems to be a higher rate of actual homosexuals in detrans communities vs trans communities. Since gay people are way more likely to experience actual gender dysphoria and not just be fetishists, this kind of goes against the argument that there are people that are truly trans. What I mean is that the people that transitioning doesn't work out for are exactly the people it's supposed to help, meanwhile people that are getting off on it and also getting off on attention/grifting are the ones that actually stick with it.
If gay people abandon gender ideology en masse because it's become something harmful, and we just watch from afar as the str8s prance about ruining their lives and calling themselves kweers, we'll be a lot better off.
And of course transbians put a lot of emphasis on hsts cases being "straight" and saying they have it easier, because it's darvo. All trans politics has become is straight people gleefully reversing who the victim is.
The brain theory bullshit is pseudoscience. Women's and men's brains don't have differences other than how they develop as a result of external stimulus, and a small difference in size that causes slight changes like % of grey and white matter. Ultimately, they're much more alike than they are different. Brains are not like reproductive organs. They're like your stomach or kidneys, etc. They're not very different between the sexes.
It shouldn't be upsetting to hear people talk about their sexist brain theory or how behavior somehow determines sex because both claims are so ridiculous they shouldn't be entertained by anyone who does possess a functioning brain, no matter it's size.
It's definitely a higher likelihood than that. The truth is that the majority of people who have transitioned have done it in the last 10 years. Just because they haven't detransitioned yet doesn't mean they won't eventually. The biggest influx of detrans people hasn't happened yet. It'll probably happen when the majority of trans people are middle-aged instead of in their teens/20's and they start having very serious health complications as a result of medical transition.