This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "meteorpuppy" appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake account. The user shares detailed, consistent, and emotionally resonant personal experiences about desisting, therapy, relationships, and the social repercussions of their decision. The writing style is natural, varied, and reflects the passion and frustration common among genuine detransitioners and desisters.
About me
My journey started with being bullied so badly about my looks as a teenager that I hated being a woman. Friends and an ex-boyfriend in my early twenties then pushed me to believe I was a transgender man, which felt like an escape from my self-hatred. Thankfully, therapy helped me address my underlying depression instead of rushing into transition. Meeting my current boyfriend was a turning point, as he loved me as a woman and helped me see I could just be myself. Now, at 27, I'm happy and comfortable in my body, realizing my dysphoria was rooted in trauma and not who I truly am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was bullied really badly in secondary school, especially about my looks. Kids would tell me I was ugly, and it destroyed my self-esteem. I developed an eating disorder and felt like a monster. I couldn't even look in the mirror without crying. Around 15, I cut and straightened my hair, which gave me a tomboyish look, and for the first time, I actually felt a little bit cute.
But the real push came from my friends and my ex-boyfriend in my early twenties. We were all really into anime and boys love (yaoi) stories. They started treating me like a "cute little gay boy" and would use "he/him" pronouns for me online, even though they knew I was a woman. My ex especially started fantasizing about us being a gay couple. He made me feel like I wasn't enough as a woman and starved me of affection because I wasn't a man. This made me believe that I was a solid 7 or 8 as a man, but maybe a 2 as a woman. It was a really dark time, and my depression got worse. I was also very active on Tumblr back then, and I realized around age 19 that it was making my depression worse, so I left.
That's when I started seriously thinking I was transgender. The idea of becoming a man felt like an escape from hating myself as a woman. But I had a huge fear of regretting it. I was terrified of doing anything irreversible to my body. Thankfully, I started seeing a therapist who wasn't focused on gender issues. She convinced me to work on my underlying depression and anxiety before making any big decisions about medical transition. I promised her I wouldn't do anything like take hormones or get surgery until I had sorted my mental health out. That therapy was the best thing I ever did; it was non-affirming in the sense that it focused on my deeper issues first, and it helped me immensely.
What really changed everything was meeting my current boyfriend. He saved me from all that nonsense. He told me I was beautiful as a woman. He said I didn't need to transition to be attractive to him. He loved me whether I had short or long hair, whether I was hairy or shaved my legs, whether I wore skirts or dressed like a tomboy. He helped me see that I could be gender non-conforming without needing to change my body with medication or surgery. I know you're not supposed to rely on others for self-worth, but I needed that starting point. His love helped me learn to love myself.
I also focused intensely on my studies, which gave me another goal and purpose. As I grew up and matured, my feelings of dysphoria just faded away. By the time I was 25, they were completely gone. I realized that "identifying as a specific gender" made less and less sense to me as I got older. I came to understand that my values and hobbies aren't inherently male or female. I'm a software developer, and my boyfriend is too. We like the same things, and that doesn't make me less of a woman.
When I started to desist and told people I wasn't sure about being trans anymore, I lost friends. The trans community I was part of ostracized me. My ex and others who had pushed me towards transition blocked me and tweeted things like "cis people are disappointing." It was painful, but it showed me they weren't real friends.
I don't regret exploring my gender, but I am so profoundly grateful I never medically transitioned. I have no regrets about not taking hormones or having surgery. I see now that my desire to transition was rooted in trauma, bullying, low self-esteem, and being influenced by the people around me and online spaces. I hated my body because of the bullying, not because I was truly transgender. I now see that I was trying to escape being a woman because I thought it was the source of my pain, when really, I just needed to heal from my past and learn to accept myself.
Today, at 27, I'm comfortable in my body. I'm a woman, not in a "gender identity" way, but just because that's what I am. I've reconnected with my birth name, which was hard at first because it was tied to bullying, but I did it by using a diminutive version for a while before going back to the full name. I'm just me now, and I'm finally happy with that.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early Teens | Experienced severe bullying about my appearance, leading to low self-esteem and an eating disorder. |
| 15 | Cut and straightened my hair, began presenting in a tomboyish way. |
| 19 | Left Tumblr, realizing it was exacerbating my depression. |
| 20-22 | Heavily influenced by friends and ex-boyfriend into believing I was a transgender man. Experienced strongest feelings about transitioning. |
| Early 20s | Started therapy with a psychologist who focused on treating my depression and anxiety first. Promised not to pursue medical transition until my mental health was stable. |
| 23 | Feelings of gender dysphoria began to fade. Met my current boyfriend, who helped me see my value as a woman. |
| 25 | Gender dysphoria completely disappeared. Fully desisted from identifying as transgender. |
| 27 | Present day. Comfortable and happy living as a woman, having worked through my past trauma and self-esteem issues. |
Top Comments by /u/meteorpuppy:
I don't know. I get misogynistic vibes from your post. This, especially:
Cis men would prefer a mediocre looking cis woman who is truly a female biologically over even the most attractive trans woman who is still biologically male.
Are you that superficial that you think there is nothing more to women than looking good? Don't they look mediocre to you because they don't obsess over "passing" and some of them just want to be comfortable and not wear makeup everyday, crazy hairstyles / wardrobe, etc.?
You don't seem to even consider their inner side as to why partners would choose them over you and it makes me wonder if you really take care of your personality as much as your passing.
If you like your body as it is, accept it, accept the fact that you are not a cis woman but a trans woman (or even a feminine guy if you prefer) and there is nothing wrong with that.
You talk about male / female treatment without specifying what treatment is that. Women do not have a hive mind and don't live their lives equal to each other, nor they are treated the same by other people.
I live with a man and we equally share chores, I play videogames like him, we watch the same youtubers, we are both software developers with the same programming language even. I ressemble way more my cis male partner than my female peers. This does not make me a man. It makes me my own person with my own hobbies, dating a man who does not care if I often look like a potato.
I would say, start looking into you as a person more than the passing thing, or just your physical appearance.
Also, people here are far from being black and white. Here people treat transition as a poison when it is used as a first care (the affirmative care) instead of looking into the root of the problem.
Try to learn to not care about the "it was a phase" comments. I'm 27 and I was really scared of being told that back in my early twenties, because it sounds like it wasn't real, which is untrue. Looking back, we all go through multiple phases in life, which is not inherently a bad thing. We are allowed to experience life and grow from it. You were once transgender and now you are detrans, until you get old enough to not care about labels anymore and you just enjoy being you.
I would say, be careful by shutting people out. They care about you and need to know that you are at least well enough. You can wait until you are ready to tell them about your detransition, but don't forget to reach out and tell them you are okay.
As for the last thing you said: friends who disappear if you detransition are not friends. It is painful at first, but not a real loss.
Take care.
To be fair... You should get rid of all those gender stereotypes you got. Your values aren't specifically those of a woman at all. If you are fine with yourself being slim and feminine as a man that's good.
I've had men and women as teachers and some of them were good, some weren't but gender had no impact in it, you can be a good male teacher.
You can be yourself. Don't worry for being a virgin, not everybody needs to "start early", build up confidence in yourself and put yourself out there (I don't have much experience in dating as I had luck finding my boyfriend but I'm sure people can give you some good advice).
If you have just a glimpse of doubt that you might regret transitioning, just don't, at least don't do medical transition yet. You can explore the social part because you can go back anytime if you don't like it.
There is no superior gender for anything. Some people are good outdoors some are better indoors. There might be a tendency gender wise but it most likely comes from education received as a boy or as a girl than from gender itself.
I would say, even 25 years old. We have so much growing up to do in our early twenties as young adults. I had my strongest feelings about transitioning at 20-22 and they started fading at 23 to completely disappear at 25+ (I'm 27).
OP, if you have even the slightest doubt, don't do it yet.
What actually helped me with my chest is to stop wearing stuff that would make me feel uncomfortable (bras that don't fit or chest binders), because the constant pain and discomfort made me hate my boobs more and more.
Wear something less tight, just enough to support your breast (Uniqlo sells underwear t shirts with integrated bras that are super comfortable for example) and more baggy / oversized t-shirts to give yourself a more androgynous look.
Let yourself grow and mature before doing something so permanent on your body.
Mutilating yourself just for the looks is kinda wild... You know a vaginoplasty requires maintenance right? It needs to be dilated regularly to prevent your body from closing it (as it is considered an open wound).
Also, be aware that your testicles produce testosterone. If you plan to remove the testicles to get a "smooth crotch", you'll need hormone therapy for the rest of your life. Not to mention the complications related to the surgery itself.
Natural vaginas have a mucosa and are self cleaning. An artificially created vagina does not, and requires regular cleaning to avoid infections. And external lubrication during sexual intercourse since they don't self lubricate either. I think there is another technique that uses the rectal tissue to create the vagina but it comes with other downsides.
Also ... What does a smooth crotch even mean ? I am a woman and I don't have a "smooth crotch", I don't feel like I do.
Maybe learn to pluck it ? Way less impact on your health (certainly less permanent).
Please read lots of serious literature about the surgery (e.g. https://transcare.ucsf.edu/guidelines/vaginoplasty ) Get some non-affirming gender therapy (which does not imply transphobic or anything, but just to help you get another perspective). Such heavy surgery should be an absolute last resort to actual gender dysphoria where therapy and hormone therapy didn't help. Not just a cosmetic thing.
Please .. start changing your therapist. She is tremendously unprofessional and unhelpful.
The following advise is not always liked by everyone... But it worked for me. I hated myself for many reasons. I didn't believe anything good about me. I know we must get better for ourselves but what if we get a starting point with the people that we love and they love us ?
What actually helped me was focusing on what my boyfriend thought of me. If he is with me, there is a reason right ? If he tells me "you're beautiful / strong / clever" (whatever compliment) I didn't allow myself to reject his compliments. Even though I couldn't believe it, it'd say thank you and eventually I started believing it. He isn't a liar so I have to believe him even though it is hard to understand. If the man I love and respect loves me, there must be a good reason.
If your boyfriend loves you and he is good to you, you can focus on what he feels about you and then eventually start relearning to love yourself. Talk to him. Maybe talk to your parents or siblings if you have a good relationship with them (I didn't back then but to each family their own dynamics).
It gets better, with effort but it does. It does seem like an eternity with no end in sight, but eventually you will get to a point where you will ask yourself "since when I feel so good ?". There is no switch on/off for depression. It does leave a scar for a long time but eventually it fades away without you noticing. Maybe you are better now than 6 months back, maybe ? Maybe not yet. Please don't give up.
Much of love to you.
I can say the same: To you, anyone who disagrees with your ideology is a TERF ?
Go away. Nobody here has anything against transgender people but we do want vulnerable people to think twice, even thrice and try to accept themselves and take care of their mental issues before doing anything irreversible to their bodies. Nothing wrong with that.
I have never been abandoned by my "subculture friends", be it gothics or metalheads when I changed hobbies, gays when I started a straight relationship... But I was automatically ostracized by the trans community when I dared to desist from transition.
How many women do you know to affirm that most of us DESIRE to be cute and sexy ? That is plain gross and sexist. Life as a woman is not based on feeling cute and sexy smh... You might as well learn a lot more about what being a woman means before doing anything irreversible to your body, because you will be very disappointed. Also, you absolutely can feel cute and sexy as a man, this is really not an exclusive feminine trait.
I have a male name in my head that I call myself it’s not my birth name, my birth name has a lot of connotations of bullying and poor self worth, which is why i might of thought i was trans in the first place.
This happened to me.
When I met my boyfriend, I was in the process of desisting but I had a hard time being called by my birth name... For the exact same reason. I went by a diminutive of my name. Fast forward a few years, I re-adopted my full name again, grew to like it and reattach myself to my identity.
Bullying does a lot of damage to our self esteem and self worth. It destroys our identity. You can heal from this though.