This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments are highly consistent, nuanced, and emotionally intelligent. They demonstrate a deep, personal understanding of detransition, radical feminist philosophy, and the internal conflicts surrounding gender identity. The advice is compassionate yet firm, and the language is natural and varied, showing the passion and strong opinions common in this community without resorting to repetitive scripts.
About me
I was a young woman who felt deep unhappiness with my changing body during puberty. I was influenced online to believe I was a transgender man, and I took testosterone and had surgery. I eventually realized my problem wasn't being female, but the pressure to fit a feminine stereotype, and changing my body didn't fix my depression. I stopped hormones and now deeply regret the permanent changes, like becoming infertile. I am finally learning to accept my female body and find my value just in being myself.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition was a long and difficult one, rooted in a deep unhappiness I felt with myself. I was born female, and from a young age, I felt a lot of discomfort, especially during puberty. I hated the development of my breasts and felt like my body was betraying me. This wasn't about wanting to be a man; it was a deep-seated unhappiness with the changes happening to me and the expectations that came with being a woman.
I spent a lot of time online, and I was heavily influenced by the communities I found there. I started identifying as non-binary, which felt like a way to escape the pressures of being a woman. This eventually led me to believe I was a transgender man. I think a lot of my feelings were tied up in internalized homophobia and a low self-esteem that made it hard for me to accept myself as a woman, especially one who wasn't feminine. I felt like I didn't fit anywhere.
I took testosterone for a period of time. I also had top surgery to remove my breasts. For a while, I thought this was the solution. I thought changing my body would fix the deep unhappiness inside me. But it didn't. The underlying issues—the depression, the anxiety, the feeling of not being good enough—were still there. I just had a different body to feel uncomfortable in.
I began to realize that my problem wasn't with my sex; it was with the concept of gender itself and the boxes it tries to force people into. I came to understand that being a woman has nothing to do with how you dress, what hobbies you have, or how you feel inside. A woman is just an adult human female. I can be a woman and be loud, be good at math, hate dresses, and be attracted to women. My personality is my own; it doesn't have to be "feminine."
My detransition began when I finally accepted this. I stopped testosterone. I had to come to terms with the permanent changes the hormones had caused and the fact that my surgery was irreversible. I am now infertile, which is a serious and lasting health complication from my transition. I regret that deeply. I regret that I wasn't given better guidance and that my underlying mental health issues weren't addressed properly instead of being affirmed as a transgender identity.
I don't believe in gender identity anymore. I think we are our bodies, and we can't change our sex. The idea that we have a "true" gender inside is a harmful delusion that solved nothing for me. True freedom, for me, came from rejecting all of that and learning to accept my body for what it is: a good, normal, female body. I had to learn that my value isn't in how well I perform a gender role, but just in being me.
I benefited greatly from therapy that was not affirming. A therapist who helped me work on my self-esteem and my depression without telling me to change my body was crucial to my healing. I found support in other detransitioned women who shared their stories, which made me feel less alone.
I have many regrets about transitioning. I regret the permanent changes I made to my body. I regret the time and energy I lost. But I don't regret the person I am now, because going through this hell gave me a perspective on life and self-acceptance that I might not have found otherwise. My life now is about living authentically without labels, taking care of the body I have, and finding peace.
| Age | Date (Approximate) | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 13 | Around 2010 | Started puberty, began to feel intense discomfort and hated my developing breasts. |
| 19 | Around 2016 | Heavily influenced online, began identifying as non-binary as a form of escapism. |
| 20 | 2017 | Socially transitioned to living as a transgender man. |
| 21 | 2018 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 22 | 2019 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 23 | Late 2019 | Realized transition was a mistake, stopped testosterone, and began my detransition. |
| 23 | Late 2019 | Came to terms with being a woman and began non-affirming therapy to address self-esteem and depression. |
Top Comments by /u/milpathecat:
Hey, sorry you are suffering.
Something jumped at me from your post. I just want to point out that wearing a skirt or make up or seeing "the woman inside" has nothing to do with being a woman. Being a woman is a descriptor for material reality. The way you live and present yourself has nothing to do with it: you can be a woman and dress in completely stereotypically masculine ways, and have masculine occupations. Women don't feel like anything particular inside: they just are. Like all human beings. If people want to impose models of femininity on you, that's on them, but femininity has actually nothing to do with being a woman.
Do what will make you happiest. But keep in mind hormone therapy will produce some irreversible changes in your body, that is maybe why I would wait a couple years until you're finished with your teenage years. You are so young and have your whole life ahead of you. If you're doing alright, and you want to think it over properly, maybe waiting a bit won't hurt. Life gives us perspective on things that we might not expect at first.
I hope you will feel better and find your path.
You can't not adhere to sex. It's just a material fact of your existence. But you can be fully gender non-conforming whether male or female. You can dress however you want, go by whatever name you want, live in whatever way you want. Of course you are more than your sex, so is everyone. We are so so much more than our biological reality. But ignoring it or desperately trying to change it doesn't help in any way.
What do you earn, you ask? You earn the freedom to live as you are, no performance, no need to change your body or appearance. You earn self-acceptance and the peace that comes with it.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's so unfair that you were convinced to do this. But you can detransition, and it will be okay in the long run. Find a therapist that supports you and take it one day at a time. You owe explanations to no one. And I promise, you will start finding more and more of your people as you begin living as your more authentic self. Maybe you will be alone for some periods of time but you will find people eventually. Anyone who doesn't support and love you through this difficult time, you don't need to deal with at the moment. You can pospone that until you feel better.
I recommend two YouTube channels: Peak Resilience Project and GNC centric. They are all wonderful detransitioned women, they are also on Twitter and open and receptive to talk with people.
I wish you the best.
A couple of my friends are like you, they are gay men but don't relate to the hyper sexual, impersonal, consumeristic gay scene. They are just sensitive people looking to date other normal emotional people. There are other guys like you out there. Just take your time :)
Just like with marriage, or having a child, or any other major life decision: if you're having doubts, don't do it. Give it some time. Get your depression treated separately (if you can, find a therapist that doesn't affirm transition). Try to live without labels for a while. Your body is your body, it can't be swapped for another body. Take good care of it, it can do amazing things and it's keeping you alive and healthy. Best of luck.
Not inferior by any means. You are as much of a man as any other man and deserve the same level of respect, from others and from yourself. Man just means adult human male. Societal expectations of so-called 'manhood' are toxic and designed to keep women down and beat men into becoming toxic themselves. Don't give in to them.
I am sorry they did that to you. You were only a child. You deserved better. I hope you will find healing.
Don't be ashamed, you didn't know any better at the time, it's as simple as that. You will find women who will support you :). Take it one day at a time. And welcome to the joys of radical feminism! Hugs if you want them.
Edit: Oh and please do cry as much as you need, even if when home alone. Crying is a wonderful mechanism for self soothing and healing. It makes us stronger.
You are a good human in a good normal body and you are valuable and beautiful for it. You just are therefore your life is good and valuable, there is no more to it. There was nothing wrong with your body before and there is nothing wrong with it now. Please keep looking for a therapist that will help you solve your self esteem issues without actually trying to change you. I'm so sorry you are suffering.
But women are also afraid of men going into their single sex spaces. By invading them you will be making women feel unsafe and some may stop using that particular space or service having no other space to turn to. Their rights matter as much as yours. Your right to safety should not be at the expense of other people's safety.
Yeah, I feel like the homophobia bit is the most important. Safety always first.
But if you live in a reasonably tolerant area, you should be OK in my opinion (and it's your toilet, you are allowed there!!). Most people will be able to tell you're a woman. Best of luck.