This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user demonstrates a consistent, nuanced, and passionate perspective that aligns with a desister's experience (someone who stopped identifying as trans without medical intervention). The comments show personal investment, the ability to engage in complex debate, and a clear, evolving understanding of the topic, which is not typical of bot behavior. The user's tone is often critical and frustrated, which is consistent with the stated potential for strong feelings within this community.
About me
I'm a masculine woman who started transitioning socially because I felt my developing female body was wrong. I thought becoming a man was the only answer to my deep discomfort and low self-esteem. I realized I was just building a new shell and that my real issues were mental health, not my sex. I stopped before any medical interventions and I'm grateful I did. Now I see that I can be any kind of woman I want, and I'm finally working on accepting myself.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I never felt like I fit in, especially as a girl. I hated going through puberty and developing breasts; it felt wrong and like my body was betraying me. I spent a lot of time online, and I started to believe that these feelings meant I was actually a man. I thought transitioning was the only way to fix the deep discomfort I had with myself.
I began by socially transitioning. I cut my hair, bought a binder, and asked everyone to use he/him pronouns for me. For a little while, it felt like a relief. I felt like I was finally taking control and becoming someone new. But that feeling didn't last. The more steps I took, the more I realized I was just building a new shell to hide in. I started to see that my problems weren't really about gender. They were rooted in other things: low self-esteem, anxiety, and a deep discomfort with the changes that come with growing up.
I never went on hormones or had any surgeries. I'm grateful for that now. I came to understand that medically transitioning would not have solved my underlying issues. In fact, from what I've seen and read from others, going further down that path often makes things worse, not better. It can create even more dysphoria and health complications. I believe that at my core, I am my sex, female, and that is something that can't be changed, no matter how much you alter your outside appearance.
A big part of my confusion was also related to being a masculine woman. I like masculine clothes and have what some would call a more masculine personality. For a long time, I thought this meant I couldn't be a woman. The online spaces I was in reinforced this idea, making it seem progressive to transition instead of just accepting that a woman can be any kind of woman. Now I see that line of thinking as extremely sexist and backwards. Why can't a woman be masculine and still be a woman? Why can't a man be feminine and still be a man?
I don't have any regrets about socially transitioning because it was a necessary part of my journey to figuring myself out. It helped me see that it wasn't the right path for me. But I do regret how much time I spent thinking that changing my identity was the answer. I benefited from stepping back from all of that and working on my mental health instead of focusing on my gender.
My thoughts on gender now are that it is often used to enforce stereotypes. The constant focus on pronouns and identities feels extremely online and toxic to me. It distracts from the real issue, which is that people should be free to express themselves however they want without having to change who they fundamentally are.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and developing breasts. |
| 16 | Began spending a lot of time online and started to question my gender. |
| 17 | Socially transitioned; cut hair, started binding, used he/him pronouns. |
| 19 | Realized transition wasn't solving my problems and began to desist. |
| 20 | Stopped identifying as trans and accepted myself as a masculine woman. |
Top Comments by /u/mirayami:
I think it's all so extremely online and toxic. Why oh why can't someone wear masculine clothing and still be a woman which she is? Same goes for any man that likes femininity whether it's makeup or clothing. It's seen as progressive when it's just what? Extremely sexist? How modern and not backwards..
Wanting a new identity when the commenter specifically says life is hard after detransition and he doesn't want more people to make a mistake while going down this path, if transition isn't for them. He couldn't have been aiming for awareness more clearly. Maybe you should focus on your reading comprehension before resorting to petty hostility.
As a radfem I'd say so but every community differs greatly. Based on how you described yourself though, I'd say you'd be welcome, but that's just one person's opinion and I'm not a mod in any radfem space.
For you information, your identity will not be respected — but I am not sure how you'd define respect so I can't say.. Expecting to be respected (in a way of referring to you in your preferred he/him pronouns) in itself is a weird thing to expect because, men are usually from my experience not allowed and what we care about is a person's sex. So the question is are you okay with people perceiving and referring to you as your biological sex? If not, I'd advise you against trying to join one.
The entirety of this sub usually tries to explain that transitioning more and more fires back, when it's 'meant to help'. Often times it creates more gender dysphoria and there's more struggling — say the ones with experience of medical transitioning on this sub, anyway. Good luck in your journey.
Not that it's any of my business- and perhaps I am missing something but why seek advice from only medically detransitioned when you just want to know about desisting (socially transitioning)? I suppose medically transitioned people would also know, though. Apologies, just curious. Best of luck and I hope there'll be with helpful words of advice waiting for you soon.
If she gets into a fit because a person in your life has English not up to her standards (esp about the pronoun issue) you should drop them.
Kind of related and on a less serious note, watch this bit.
I would advice you seriously think if the friendship is worth it. If so, you may try what many others have said; let it go and respect it.
The future of lesbians is trans. It’s non-binary. It’s inclusive. If this is a threat to you, if an inclusive intersectional future is a threat to you, please, at this point, just take it back to TERF island and lament your fragile egos there.
So radical feminists are the ones with fragile egos because biological men liking women don't get to be called gay?
I remember a study someone linked on this sub before that the more a trans person transitioned, the worse their depression got or something (?) Quoting it by memory isn't the best idea, so if anyone knows what I'm talking about, maybe they can post it here again
Adding to this, desisted men and women like myself can admit that we still have 'strong' gender dysphoria, at least a part of us, but personally I know that transition would not solve any of my problems, therefore not help my GD because well; at my core, I am my sex, as anyone is. This is unchangeable, whether one likes it or not.
Hmm well, I researched since you asked and I gotta say, maybe OP is right, though I never denied these two couldn't be connected, as I believe dysmorphia is wider therefore can also have dysphoria in it.
Basically dysmorphia is when a person finds flaws about their physical appearance, but those flaws are often very minimal (hardly seen by others). Anyone can have it, but mostly teenagers, young adults and women do.
The difference includes a lot of trans activist agenda, imho... Because while dysmorphia is classified as a mental illness, dysphoria, as you guessed it, is not. It's when a person views their body as ugly because they don't like their gender. So different, but not really.
TL;DR: The two are connected. However it is interesting that dysphoria isn't called a mental illness, while dysmorphia is. Dysphoria is when you don't like your body because of your gender, meanwhile dysmorphia is when you don't like your body for, well, any reason. I'm guessing beauty standards though.