This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. The user shares detailed personal experiences with detransition (e.g., taking testosterone, having top surgery, dealing with family), expresses complex emotions like shame and embarrassment, and engages in nuanced discussions about the differences between detransitioners and trans women. There are no obvious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic account.
About me
I never fit in and my discomfort with puberty led me to online communities that convinced me I was a trans man. I took testosterone and had top surgery, which felt like an answer at first. I eventually realized I was trying to become male for others' validation, not for myself, and it was exhausting. I stopped hormones and now I'm trying to re-embrace being female, even with permanent changes like my deeper voice. I believe my autism made me confuse social discomfort with being trans, and medical transition wasn't the right solution for me.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I never really fit in. Looking back, I think a lot of my feelings were tied to being autistic, though I didn't know it at the time. I had a hard time understanding social rules and my body always felt wrong in a way that was hard to describe. I was uncomfortable during puberty and hated the changes, especially developing breasts. I had really low self-esteem and was depressed, and I spent a lot of time online. That’s where I found communities that told me these feelings meant I was trans.
I started identifying as non-binary first, and then later as a trans man. It felt like an escape from all the pressure to be a certain way. At the time, it felt like the answer. I started taking testosterone and I had a "honeymoon period" where I felt great. The changes, like my voice dropping and growing facial hair, were exciting at first. I also got top surgery, and unlike some other parts of my transition, I don't regret that decision.
But after a while, the excitement wore off. I realized I was spending all my energy trying to "pass" as male for other people, to get their validation, and it was incredibly stressful. I wasn't doing it for me anymore. I started to see that I would never actually be male; I would always be "trans." Living as a mix of the two just didn't seem worth the struggle. I also faced pressure from within the trans community for having what they considered "bad" opinions, which was hurtful and confusing.
Coming to the decision to detransition was even harder than deciding to transition. I feel a lot of shame and embarrassment, especially about telling my family. It's tough to explain that I was trying to find a treatment for my unhappiness, and it didn't work, so now I'm moving on to something else. I'm not trying to feminize myself like a trans woman might; instead, I'm trying to re-embrace my female body, even though I have to live with permanent changes like a deeper voice and facial hair.
I don't regret my top surgery, but I do have regrets about taking testosterone and the permanent effects it had. My thoughts on gender now are that for some people, especially autistic people like me, the difficulty with social roles and hypersensitivity can get confused with being trans. Medical transition wasn't the right solution for my underlying issues. Even though it's hard, I know there are other detrans people leading happy lives, and that gives me hope that I can, too.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early Teens | Experienced significant discomfort during female puberty, hated developing breasts. Felt depressed and had low self-esteem. |
| Late Teens | Found trans communities online. Identified first as non-binary, then as a trans man. |
| 20 | Started taking testosterone. Had a "honeymoon period" where I felt better. |
| 21 | Underwent top surgery. I do not regret this. |
| 22 | Realized I was trying to "pass" for others, not for myself. Felt stressed and invalidated by the trans community. Stopped testosterone. |
| 23 | Began the process of social detransition, trying to re-embrace being female while living with permanent changes from testosterone. |
Top Comments by /u/mirrorofgorgon:
i was taught that doing this would make me happy
i then realized that attempting to pass was stressing me out because i wasn't doing it for me. i was attempting to pass for other people, for the view of me, and seeked out validation to make myself feel better from
i was harmed by the trans community for having "bad" opinions and views towards certain things.
Just some relatable content here.
I don't know about AGP specifically, but I've met a lot of trans-identified autistic people, and their supposed "transness" is absolutely a symptom of the autism. Their difficulty following social roles, their hypersensitivity to body sensations, their obsessive behavior, their tendency to take things too seriously....
Even if they felt better bucking expected social roles in terms of dress and mannerisms, I've never seen an autistic trans person that seemed to benefit from medical transition in any way.
I'm in the PNW if you want to message and talk. It would be great to connect to people.
A lot of your story ia similar to mine. I was fairly masc, and should probably have just stayed GNC. I also had the honeymoon period on T like you say. I also don't regret top surgery.
I kind of do. I have a "man's voice" and a beard and am going to have to live with it, so in some ways there's a similar experience.
I think it depends on 2 things: are you actively trying to feminize yourself more the way a TW does? I'm not, so I don't relate to that. On the other hand, a lot of TW are actively trying to reject the reality of their bodies, whereas I am trying to re-embrace mine, which is also different. But I can certainly see how it feels related.
living as a mix of the two just doesn't seem worth it
Very much relate to this. It's the thing I've had to accept -- you can never be the opposite sex, you will always be "trans".
I am under the impression that MTFs have an easier time reversing the changes, . Body fat will redistribute, especially if you get into exercising, for example.
But as for dealing with family etc. that is definitely hard. The way I've seen it is, if they accept you and love you, then they will want you to be happy and healthy. You can explain to them that you transitioned because you you were trying to find "treatment" for yourself, and it didn't work completely, so now you are moving on to another kind of treatment. I definitely feel a lot of shame and embarrassment about having to tell my family I'm detrans, it's even harder than coming out as trans in my opinion.
Just know there are detrans people leading happy lives now, which means you can too.