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Reddit user /u/mofu_mofu's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 13 -> Detransitioned: 21
female
internalised homophobia
took hormones
regrets transitioning
trauma
serious health complications
now infertile
homosexual
puberty discomfort
autistic
This story is from the comments by /u/mofu_mofu that are listed below, summarised with AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the extensive comment history provided, the account "mofu_mofu" appears to be authentic.

There are no serious red flags suggesting this is a bot or a fake account. The user demonstrates:

  • Deep personal experience: They share detailed, first-hand accounts of taking testosterone, binding, detransitioning, and the social and medical challenges involved. The narrative is consistent and complex over several years.
  • Consistent perspective: Their viewpoint as a detransitioned female who is same-sex attracted, autistic, and has a history of trauma is a well-established and recurring theme that aligns with known detransitioner experiences.
  • Passionate but reasoned debate: The user engages in lengthy, nuanced arguments about medical ethics, informed consent, and community dynamics, which reflects a deep personal investment in the topic, not scripted bot behavior.
  • Community-specific knowledge: They show a clear understanding of the nuances within the detrans, trans, and gender-critical communities, referencing internal debates and slang specific to these spaces.

The user's passion and occasional anger are consistent with a genuine detransitioner who feels harmed by their transition and stigmatized by both trans and medical communities. The account exhibits the hallmarks of a real person who has lived this experience.

About me

I was a tomboy who felt uncomfortable in my body and transitioned to male for nearly a decade, thinking it would fix my deep-seated issues from trauma and internalized homophobia. I took testosterone and lived as a man, but I eventually realized I was chasing an impossible ideal and that my true problem was not accepting myself as a female. After detransitioning, I lost friends and had to accept permanent changes to my voice and body from the hormones. I now live as a butch lesbian and have found peace, understanding that my dysphoria was rooted in trauma, not identity. I’ve learned that womanhood isn’t about stereotypes and that transition isn’t the right solution for everyone.

My detransition story

My journey with gender started when I was very young. I was always a tomboy and never fit in with other girls. I felt uncomfortable in my body from a young age, especially when puberty hit. I hated my developing chest so much that I used saran wrap to bind before I even knew what a binder was. I identified as trans from around age 13 and socially transitioned, living as a boy and then a man for almost a decade.

I was autistic and had a history of trauma and sexual abuse, which I now see played a huge role in my feelings about my body and gender. I also struggled with internalized homophobia, as I was attracted to women and felt that being a lesbian was wrong or something to be ashamed of. I thought that transitioning would fix these deep-seated issues.

I medically transitioned in my early 20s. I was on testosterone for about a year. The changes happened very quickly for me. My voice dropped to a male range within just a few months, and I experienced significant bottom growth and facial hair. I passed as a cis man and lived stealth for a long time. I even scheduled a consultation for top surgery.

But doubts started creeping in. I began to realize that no matter how much I changed my body, I would never actually be male. I was chasing an impossible ideal. I also started dating a woman who was mtf, and being in a relationship where I felt safe and accepted allowed me to explore my femininity for the first time without fear. This was a big turning point for me.

I decided to detransition around age 22. Stopping testosterone was a personal decision. I stopped cold turkey, which isn't recommended, but I didn't experience bad mood swings. In fact, my mood improved a lot. Coming off T made me realize how much it had been affecting my mental state.

Detransitioning was incredibly isolating. I lost many friends from the trans community. Some accused me of being "brainwashed" by TERFs or thought I was detransitioning because of financial or family pressure. It was frustrating and hurtful. I had to cut out a lot of people who couldn't accept my decision.

Since detransitioning, I've had to accept the permanent changes T made to my body. My voice is still deeper, I have facial hair I need to shave, and my clitoris is larger. My breasts changed shape from years of binding, becoming softer and less "springy." I also developed health issues like vaginal atrophy and potentially Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), which my doctor thinks might have been triggered or worsened by T.

I've struggled to find therapists who understand. Many gender therapists tried to suggest I was nonbinary or still trans, just in denial. It was exhausting to constantly defend my reality as a detransitioned woman. I present in a masculine way—I wear men's clothes, have short hair, and don't shave my body hair—and people often assume I'm a trans man or nonbinary. It's frustrating that people can't accept a woman can be gender-nonconforming.

My feelings about gender have completely changed. I now believe that womanhood is not about stereotypes or performance. It's about accepting my female body, even if it's been altered by testosterone. I don't regret my transition because it was a part of my journey to self-acceptance, but I do regret the permanent physical changes and the time I lost living as someone I wasn't.

I've found peace in identifying as a butch lesbian. I've learned to love my body for what it allows me to do, not just how it looks. My dysphoria has lessened significantly since detransitioning, which is ironic but true. I think for me, a lot of my dysphoria was rooted in internalized misogyny, homophobia, and trauma, not in a true innate identity.

This journey has taught me that transition isn't the solution for everyone, even if you have intense dysphoria. It's important to explore the root causes of those feelings. I wish I had therapists who challenged me instead of just affirming me when I was younger.

Here is a timeline of my transition and detransition events:

Age Event
13 Socially transitioned to male. Began identifying as trans.
13 Began binding chest regularly, often unsafely.
Early 20s Started testosterone therapy.
Early 20s Voice dropped significantly within 3 months. Experienced rapid facial hair growth and bottom growth.
21 Stopped testosterone after approximately 1 year of use. Began detransitioning.
22 Fully accepted identity as a detransitioned female.
Early 20s Noticed breast tissue changes from long-term binding. Developed health issues including vaginal atrophy and suspected PCOS.

Top Reddit Comments by /u/mofu_mofu:

267 comments • Posting since August 5, 2019
Reddit user mofu_mofu (detrans female) discusses the hypersexualization and stereotyping of women in trans spaces, citing personal experiences with MTF individuals who fetishized her race and reduced womanhood to regressive stereotypes like "skirt go spinny" and girly mannerisms.
114 pointsMar 2, 2024
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there was a thread i saw recently on a lgbt meme sub (won’t name it but it’s a popular one) and it was a mtf asking for suggestions to be more like a woman and “euphoric” w/o crossdressing bc ig they couldn’t at present. the suggestions were literally stuff like “text in a girly way with exclamation points and emojis!” or “paint using the color pink!”, “use lotion” (lmao?), “shave”, “act cute and girly to friends” etc. i didn’t see a single comment that called out how weird it was to distill women and girls to coquette-y stereotypes.

i think about stuff like that (bc that is definitely not the only instance, just a more memorable recent one) and “skirt go spinny” and feel similarly to you. it feels weird as a woman who has and still does struggle with internalized misogyny and feeling othered as a woman for never being conventionally feminine. i have mtf friends still but i drifted away from most bc of this behavior. it’s like they were trying to act out an anime girl fantasy and bc i was female (even if at that moment i identified as ftm) i was a piece of their “set” to play along. sooo many times i got asked for fashion advice related to clothes i never even wore or “girl talk” or whatever, and it only got worse after i detransitioned. like they couldn’t process as a gnc woman i legit had no interest in fashion, boys, makeup, etc and were trying to get me to teach them how to woman or something. which, some women are into that and dressing up men or whatever but ffs lol i never even wear makeup myself and the only skirt i wore was my school uniform.

i find the whole having to learn to woman thing rly weird for a person who claims to have a woman’s soul/heart/brain. like why do you have to learn/adopt mannerisms to be more “woman like”if you already are one? it only makes sense if woman = regressive gender stereotypes and gendered socialization that have to be learned by people not born female, which is not a belief i personally subscribe to.

ofc ✨not all mtfs ✨but having experienced a lot of creepy mtfs who were all too happy to fetishize my race and view me as female bc of what i was born as even when i identified otherwise, or who act like the above with no self-awareness, i feel better setting hard boundaries and calling it out as hypocritical bc it is. it is distinctly uncomfortable to be around people who hypersexualize women and view you as one - and since detransition ofc that veil has completely come away and it only got worse. i’ve gotten extremely sexual chats from mtf acquaintances, even “accidentally” sent google drive folders of nudes 😭 it’s a meme in mtf circles that most of them are “slutty” and poly and transbian, every trans sub has oodles of cringey (imo) comments about headpats and awkward flirting rp calling each other good girl. and every trans group i’ve been in that’s had issues with sexual stuff has usually had an mtf perpetrator and often a ftm victim, though occasionally it’s been another mtf. and the sexual harassment and assault i’ve experienced in trans spaces has only ever been one sided and from mtfs, sadly from mtfs i thought were my friends.

this isn’t to demonize them or say only mtfs are this way but like. yeah, it’s a problem. i know i wasn’t the only ftm who experienced that. and whenever it gets called out people blame the calling out as transmisogyny instead of actually addressing the issue of how oversexualized trans spaces (esp ones like reddit which lean male dominant) tend to be.

even if i ignore the feminism aspect and my distaste for the conflation of gender stereotypes with womanhood, it bothers me that even when other mtfs or detrans men say something like you have, the reliable outcry of remains “not all mtfs” or “you can’t generalize” is always there. ik my experience is anecdotal but you can’t honestly say you’ve seen ftm subs en masse idealize the idea of whatever the inverse of all-girls slumber parties or pretty pink dresses and skirt go spinny is, such that it becomes a meme even outside of the english speaking community. let’s be fkn for real. (not to say ftms don’t do something similar in terms of idealizing boyhood and gay male relationships but the tone is markedly less overtly sexual ime.)

tldr i agree with you and i find it interesting the dissenters are mostly detrans men or “questioning” flairs. i’d be interested to see more detrans women chime in tbqh.

Reddit user mofu_mofu (detrans female) explains why they believe more FTMs than MTFs detransition, citing social incentives for MTFs and a lack of support for FTMs.
82 pointsDec 26, 2022
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besides the points others made, mtfs have very little reason to detrans. even if they don’t pass, they basically get to “upgrade” in leftist circles going from basic, often white and hetero men to uber oppressed transbians lol. a lot do exhibit some extent of agp and/or eroticization associated with transition (ie feminization or sissy or trap/otokonoko kinks which are MAD common in mtfs pre and even during transition) so they rly have little motivation to stop. another poster put it as pleasure is a better and more insidious motivator than pain and it’s true. even mtfs who are keenly aware they don’t pass and struggle w/ dating in lesbian circles can still fall back on the trans community and sour grapes their way by accusing lesbians of being terfs.

ftms don’t have that luxury. if you look at r/AskGayBros vs r/ActualLesbians the difference is night and day. nobody is coddling osa ftms in the same way osa mtfs are - gay men aren’t heavily policing their own to make sure no female feefees get hurt while women bend over backward in the lesbian subs, to the point where up till very recently jokes about “cis” lesbians were considered exclusionary and every fkn post about liking pussy or whatever would get a “but what about males” comment. [eta: for clarification this change recently seems to be an acknowledgment of the optics of constantly trying to center amabs/males in lesbian subs and now even some mtfs, usually the sort that want to “assimilate” into the community, are saying they don’t want to be called out so often lmao. there’s usually some bickering btwn that sort and the sort of mtfs who absolutely do want their girldique front and center. it’s a Lot.]

interestingly this type of interaction also happens in non-lesbian women’s spaces, where discussion of women’s issues gets derailed with what-about-menism. but men don’t have that same pressure to do so for women, and so in gay male subs you get men ripping into ftms and calling them out for attention seeking and validation farming. meanwhile “i’m a trans lesbian am i valid uwu” posts are a dime a dozen on the AL sub and every one is met with reassurances that they totes are and that terfs lurk and downvote but they’re a minority.

so for mtfs it’s basically win/win. ftms basically have to face the same misogyny they did as women except it’s labeled as something else and they also don’t get to talk abt it bc they supposedly have “transmasc privilege” a la baeddel circle discourse. imo it makes sense why ftms pull out while mtfs remain all in, when you factor this into the other factors mentioned.

Reddit user mofu_mofu (detrans female) discusses how "egg culture" pressures GNC and gay youth, arguing that normal discomfort with gender stereotypes is often misdiagnosed as being trans.
76 pointsApr 30, 2021
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i'm glad to see other ppl talk about this, egg culture is (and always was) creepy to me and i think calling it "grooming" might be strong, but hell if it isn't close. imo it's especially insidious bc the ppl most likely to question their gender or feel uncomfortable with it are...gay youth.

gnc is closely tied to homosexuality and it's horrible to frame any questioning/discomfort as dysphoria or being trans and esp so to promote that to vulnerable youth at a time when most are going to feel uncomfortable, hate their bodies, or otherwise wish they were someone else!! no one, not even "cis" friends, liked who they were during puberty or high school. and even in adulthood, almost every woman i've known (with men it seems to vary more) has had consistent discomfort with womanhood. it's to the point where i'm like, if you frame this as transness with transition as the cure, you're just obscuring the problem. why do so many women feel uncomfortable with gender stereotypes of femininity, or with being perceived as female, etc.?

seeing gnc people getting bombarded with "you might be trans" for being gnc is so frustrating. like imagine if ppl posted on cis ppl's tweets/posts/etc with "oh sounds kinda eggy you might be cis" lmaooo

(sorry this turned out super long :"o)

Reddit user mofu_mofu (detrans female) explains that while both male femininity and female masculinity face challenges, female masculinity is often seen as "gross" and unsexy, and is rarely celebrated outside of sexualization, unlike the "hip" and progressive perception of GNC gay men in liberal circles.
68 pointsOct 20, 2020
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Honestly, and this is coming from someone who is constantly craving rep of masc women, the rep for feminine men isn't exactly mainstream enough that being a GNC (esp straight) man won't get you looks (or worse). I think GNC in specifically gay men is celebrated bc gay male culture is "hip" rn, not as a celebration of being GNC in and of itself.

That said I do personally feel that at least socially female masculinity is "gross" (unsexy, unattractive, d*ke-y, etc) while male femininity for gay men is seen as progressive and cool and fun in some circles (at least, the liberal young ones I run in). I've never rly heard anyone positively regard butch women outside of sexualization (ie wanting a butch woman to "step on you" etc) and that's something I hope we can change 😭

Reddit user mofu_mofu (detrans female) comments on the irony of being called right-wing, arguing that many detrans women are left-leaning and that the trans community's use of "bigot" labels pushes people toward the alt-right.
58 pointsFeb 14, 2024
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“bigots playground” bruh.

ironic also getting called “right wing” when it’s a literal meme for mtfs to have actual alt right, and occasionally even neonazi, roots, and when many detrans women (ime) are radfem or rf leaning and staunchly left. esp nowadays when most women are shifting left (wonder why! not like the other side is licherally trying to undo health access and reproductive rights in legislature for that one sex and not the other..)

it’s giving “everyone i don’t like is hitler” energy except it’s “everyone i don’t like is [alt right/fascist/right wing/bigots/etc]”. it’s funny to think they probably would say you can’t be detrans and leftist bc something something guilt by association, and then get surprised that right wingers end up using us as political pawns. they are trying to memory hole thousands of ppl bc it threatens their worldview and tying that to some leftist purity test. is it shocking that alt righters end up realizing they can use us as a gotcha if their belief system is we can’t/don’t exist?? ??? ?

Reddit user mofu_mofu (detrans female) discusses frustration with "questioning" users who brigade the sub, debate in bad faith, and act as "undercover agents" to protect potential transitioners.
54 pointsNov 11, 2023
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thank you OP for all you do. it gets tiring to see users with “questioning” flairs come and start going on anti-detrans tirades - i don’t have anything against questioning people but most i see in the past few months are just transitioners who want to argue or debate or larp as undercover agents to protect “eggs” who might come here (which, i have mixed feelings about all the “i’m debating starting transition, let me ask you detransitioners so i hopefully don’t fuck it up” posts here too tbh bc a lot act like we are the reason transition didn’t work for us). not surprised to see brigading and bad faith from those types in this sub given all that but it’s still disappointing.

Reddit user mofu_mofu (detrans female) explains the social stigma and backlash that causes many detransitioners to remain silent, contradicting public claims that their numbers are rare.
53 pointsFeb 12, 2023
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insane bc i know multiple detrans women and men just in my random little art nerd circle, and most who would identify as detrans don’t do so publicly bc of the potential backlash. i get it, bc i’m very open about it and get treated like i have a damn scarlet letter on me lol. i’ve been blocked online by random friends of friends, i’ve been made to stand in as a Spokesperson for All Detransitioners (and occasionally as a sub in for ftms since my more male oriented hobbies related friend group has zero, versus the like six+ mtfs in the group). i’ve been told point blank i’m lying and sometimes by salty mtfs that i’m fembrained for regretting transition (lol). it’s insane to me bc it’s not like i wear a detrans pride pin (as if that exists) or talk about it constantly. i just say i am honestly if someone asks and if ppl ask preferred pronouns i tell them i don’t care, i detransitioned.

i don’t blame anyone for wanting to avoid that level of stigma, esp in the more leftist field i work in. moreover plenty of detrans people seem to want to just move on. unlike transition there isn’t a “goal”, you just..are. so i find a lot of detransitioners who’ve been a few years past doing so just exist as normal women/men.

erin reed is being pretty disingenuous here but i’m not surprised. trans ppls’ claims that detransitioners are totes rare and most do so bc of transphobia is the result of an entirely self serving narrative and no trans person has a reason to willingly contradict their own belief systems if they can help it, doubly so if they’ve gone “all in” like reed has and had srs.

Reddit user mofu_mofu (detrans female) explains the misogyny and violent rhetoric they've observed from some MTF individuals, comparing it to incel ideology and detailing specific threats made against women like J.K. Rowling.
53 pointsSep 26, 2024
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just wanted to agree and say it is hilarious to me how misogynistic these types of men can be. i’ve been called “fembrained” by a mtf for posting my detrans story and knowing the type of crowd that uses that language, i know they are likely what would be called agp. i’ve seen the absolute wildest statements from mtfs towards women they don’t like - there was a popular post about mtfs pissing on margaret thatcher’s grave and the comments were other mtfs gleefully talking about wanting to piss on jkr’s too. it’s like, a man who is “transphobic” doesn’t commit the cardinal sin of being what they envy so badly, so they don’t have the vitriol that they do towards women. no mtfs talk at length about what sexually violent acts they’d do to graham lineman but jkr has received countless death and rape threats as well as dick pics from mtfs. i’ve seen too many “kink” tumblr posts about “terfbreaking” and essentially punishing women who disagree with them in a violent, sexual way. it really does remind me of incels and their absolute seething hatred for women tbh.

Reddit user mofu_mofu (detrans female) explains how being called a "TERF" for detransitioning led her to radical feminism, discovering many women privately agree with its critiques of porn and gender stereotypes but fear speaking publicly. She argues the term is used as a silencer rather than a legitimate criticism, details the hypocrisy in leftist spaces, and advises trusting private conversations over public confrontations.
53 pointsAug 4, 2024
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as others have said, they don’t even know what “terfs” believe. i ended up reading a lot more about radical feminism than i would have if i didn’t get called terfy for detransitioning lmao and fwiw plenty of normie friends have agreed with some radfem viewpoints (such as porn being harmful to women, gender being based on stereotypes, etc.) so long as they aren’t presented as radfem thoughts. it’s interesting and sad. a lot of women friends have confided not being comfortable with a lot of things happening with trans activism too, for instance, and if i give them “permission” to vent by agreeing the floodgates open wiiiide. it’s made me feel way less alone tbh, even if none of us are willing to suicide bomb our careers and social life by talking about it publicly.

i don’t believe in bullying trans people and most “terfs” i know are lesbians lol. plenty are detrans as well. there’s a lot of scary press about terfs but genuinely i’ve not met one who advocates for violence or whatever, it’s usually been the “other side” (there is no rf equivalent of a “terf bat” for instance, as far as i’ve seen). ime most people using the word terf not only don’t know a terf talking point from an altright one (inb4 they’re the same picture - what altrighters do you think listen to feminists??) and the word is moreso used as a silencer like karen or bitch than as a legitimate criticism of any ideas.

you’ll see more screeching about terfs than you will about racists and misogynists combined in most lefty spaces and it’s craaaazy to me. my best guess is that rf has “dangerous” ideas about gender which directly challenge trans ideology? like i got called a terf once in my questioning-detrans-days bc i said offhandedly that i believe gender is fake lol. bc…it is, it’s a set of stereotypes about a sex. but i got told by sooo many “friends” then that gender is real bc some ppl (them) really identify with it!1!1!1! and how phobic of me to suggest gender isn’t innate ig. it’s wild.

ANYWAYS massive rant but there is no way out atm. once you’re in the terf trenches, even if you crawled out and begged forgiveness from the powers that be you’d always be side eyed and need to self-flagellate. ironically i’ve seen mtfs admit to being literal neonazis pre-transition who don’t catch as much flak for it. but the best thing is to (imo) just keep this stuff relatively private with friends you trust and if you get accused of terfiness, try to let it roll off your back. it doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things, the same way a random dude on the road calling you a bitch doesn’t mean anything sincere. you can try appealing to them by explaining your position but they likely aren’t even listening.

it sucks but believe me it is 100000x better to let these friends go if this happens than it is to walk on eggshells 24/7.

Reddit user mofu_mofu (detrans female) explains how desisting led her to appreciate radical feminism for its focus on liberating women and its controversial stance that "feminism is for women."
52 pointsJun 19, 2024
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always nice to see male rf allies, as someone who might describe myself as "aligned" but not necessarily rf i have found it to be the brand of feminism that is most directed towards liberating women and girls, and i have also really appreciated how it always centers women - "feminism is for women" should never be a controversial statement, and yet it is :(