This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on this limited sample, the account appears authentic. The comments show a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal narrative of detransition that aligns with known experiences.
No serious red flags for inauthenticity were found. The user:
- Describes a complex, multi-year journey with specific, plausible emotional and physical details.
- Expresses a range of emotions (fear, frustration, relief) appropriate to the topic.
- Provides detailed self-analysis linking their gender dysphoria to other conditions (autism, eating disorders), which is a common theme in detransitioner accounts.
- The writing style is consistent and reflective, not repetitive or formulaic like a bot.
About me
I'm autistic, and my gender confusion started at 13 because I felt I couldn't relate to other girls. I found online communities that affirmed my feelings and I quickly transitioned to live as a man. Testosterone made my dysphoria worse by making me fixate on the parts of my body I couldn't change. I realized transition wasn't making me happy, so I decided to detransition after eight years. Letting go of that identity was freeing, and I'm now finding peace with my body by addressing my autism and anxiety in therapy.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was 13. I’m autistic, and looking back, I think that played a huge part. I felt like I couldn't relate to other girls and found the social rules between boys and girls totally confusing. I interpreted that feeling of being different as meaning I wasn't a girl at all. At the same time, I became obsessed with male characters from stories and fanfiction. I was fantasising about being these fictional men, and I convinced myself that this meant I was transgender. It was a very rapid onset; the idea just clicked into place as soon as I learned what being trans was from online communities.
I spent all my time online with other teenagers who identified as trans. While it felt like a support system, it was also a form of escapism. We all affirmed each other's feelings constantly, and the idea was always that if you had dysphoria, you were supposed to transition. No one ever suggested that dysphoria might be a sign of other issues, or that transition wasn't the only solution. I wish someone had told me that back then.
I started socially transitioning as a guy and eventually went on testosterone. T did change some things I hated about my body, like my voice. But it also made me hyper-focused on the parts of my body I couldn't change, like my height, my hands and feet, and the width of my hips and shoulders. Instead of making me happy, transition made my dysphoria worse because I was constantly measuring myself against an impossible ideal of what a man's body should be. I was terrified of the thought of spending the rest of my life hating my body so intensely.
I also have a history of an eating disorder and body dysmorphia. In retrospect, I see that my desire to transition was another way to control and change my body, similar to those other issues. There were other factors, too, like internalised misogyny and homophobia. I felt inadequate as a girl and was influenced by unhealthy ideas from porn about power dynamics in relationships. I think I wanted to escape from all of that.
After about eight years of living as male, I realised the vision I had for myself was never going to be a reality. I decided to detransition not because I was 100% sure it was wrong for me, but because I knew transition wasn't making me happy. My logic was that transition has permanent changes, but detransitioning socially and stopping hormones didn't. I figured I should try it to see if I could find another way to deal with my feelings.
Letting go of that "supposed to be" identity was incredibly freeing. Since detransitioning, my dysphoria has decreased a lot. I'm no longer spending all my time worrying about how male I look or trying to hide my female features. It was like a weight was lifted. I still have moments of dysphoria, and it's hard because I no longer have the "cure" of transition to look forward to. But now I'm learning to handle those thoughts in a healthier way, using techniques I learned in therapy for my eating disorder and body dysmorphia.
I don't regret exploring transition because it led me to where I am now, but I do regret not looking deeper into the root causes of my feelings sooner. I was too scared to talk to therapists honestly because I was afraid they would tell me I wasn't really trans. I've benefited a lot from therapy that wasn't just about affirming a gender identity, but about understanding my autism, my anxiety, and my low self-esteem.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's incredibly complex. For me, it was tangled up with so many other things. My goal now is to find peace with my body as it is, without worrying about how masculine or feminine I appear.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
Age | Event |
---|---|
13 | Realised I felt different from other girls. Became obsessed with male fictional characters and discovered online trans communities. Socially transitioned to male. |
14-20 | Lived socially as male. Started testosterone (T) hormone therapy. |
21 | Began to question my transition. Realised T was not alleviating my dysphoria and was making me more focused on my unchangeable female traits. |
21 | Decided to medically and socially detransition. Stopped taking testosterone. |
22-Present | Living as female. Experienced a significant decrease in dysphoria. Working on body acceptance and addressing underlying issues like autism, body dysmorphia, and anxiety in therapy. |
Top Comments by /u/moss-woman:
From my personal experience (may not apply to everyone but this is what I have realised wrt myself in retrospect):
- Eating disorder and self-harm behaviour, because it suggests there could be a deeper underlying desire to control/hurt/change your body and transition could be another manifestation of that
- Also with an eating disorder there'll be a level of body dysmorphia there that is distorting the sufferer's perception of their body, so that is another reason why its a red flag
- Being on the autism spectrum - trans population is way more likely to be autistic, suggests that their dysphoria is more related with autism than the need to transition (for me my Aspergers made me feel like I couldn't relate to other girls, which I interpreted as meaning I wasn't a girl. I found socialisation and gendered dynamics between boys and girls really confusing and wasn't able to navigate that sphere well in highschool)
- Having your image of men/boys being based off of fiction (and celebrities.) I did want to be like the guys at my high school but mostly my perception of what it meant to be a man was based off of relating to male characters, especially fanfiction! IDK if that is relevant for you, but it's a pattern I have noticed with myself and many other FTMs who are involved in fandom. Had to finally admit to myself that it was a fantasy and not at all rooted in reality.
- Internalised misogyny and gender roles
- Internalised homophobia
- And on the other hand, if you are straight/bi, an internalisation of unhealthy power dynamics that could be present in heterosexual relationships, like the extreme sexism in porn, and a desire to escape from that.
- And, most importantly, not working with to try to get to any possible roots of dysphoria BEFORE you transition! I wish I had done that but I was too terrified of opening up to my therapists because I was scared that I would discover I wasn't actually a trans guy - that would mean I was a girl and that was the last thing I wanted. But its SO important because there might be things contributing to your dysphoria that transition cannot help. For me it was the things I mentioned above, plus internalised homophobia, social anxiety, a crazy level of perfectionism making me hate myself and try to change myself, feeling inadequate as a girl... A bunch of different things really.
Other red flags I have seen other people speak about include having a history of abuse, and also ROGD! (I didn't have the social elements of ROGD but it sure was rapid onset, the second I turned 13! And after I started identifying as trans, spent ALL my time online around other teenagers who identified as trans - so as well as being a social support it was also a kind of fantasy escapism and we all affirmed each other in our feelings and our 'validity' etc)
Sorry this is such a long reply! There were a LOT of red flags in my case u_u I hope this is in some way helpful? And best of luck to you, I know how horrible dysphoria can be, I hope stuff gets easier for you! x
Wish that my autism didn’t make me get obsessed with male characters to the point that I wanted to be them and aged 13 became convinced that fantasising about being a fictional man meant I was transgender . Wish that the online trans community and resources I found at the time had said that dysphoria didn’t necessarily mean that transition is the solution, and had been honest that having dysphoria does not mean you’re literally ‘supposed’ to be the opposite sex.
I feel the same. I’m still very much obsessed with how I look and it’s very unhealthy for me… what I would like out of detransition would be to eventually come to a place where I’m at peace with my body and apparence and don’t worry about how masculine or feminine I am
For me it was similar feelings to you - realising that the vision I had of myself was never going to be realistically achieved. Eventually I had to accept that transition might not be right for me because it just wasn't helping my dysphoria. Sure, T did change some things I hated about myself, but at the end of the day I still had a female body that I wouldn't ever escape, no matter how many years I was on hormones, or how many surgeries I got.
When I decided to detransition, it wasn't because I knew 100% for sure that transitioning wasn't right for me, all I knew is that it wasn't making me as happy as I had expected it to, in fact it was making me WORSE, because I was just getting more and more intensely focused on the unchangeable aspects of my body, eg. my height, the size of my hands and feet, the width of my shoulders and of my pelvis. I was terrified of living the rest of my life hating my body in that way. I decided that I needed to at least TRY detransitioning and see if I could deal with my dysphoria without permanently changing my body. My logic was basically, transition has permanent changes, whereas detransition does not, and so if there's a possibility that transition isn't right for me, I should try to find out sooner rather than later! I couldn't justify carrying on with transition and permanent surgical changes when I wasn't completely sure about it any more.
Since I socially and medically detransitioned I've definitely had much less dysphoria than I used to. It was like a sort of release - for 8 years I had been carrying around these expectations of who I was SUPPOSED to be, the body I was SUPPOSED to have, and I just finally let go of that and just.. allowed my body to exist the way it is. Now I don't spend tons of time worrying over how male I look, terrified if people can see the female aspects of my body, trying to hide them as much as possible, etc. It's been very freeing. The decrease in dysphoria is what let me know that detransition was right for me.
So basically - I didn't know until I tried it! This is a very simplified version of events - it was a very stressful time with lots of complicated feelings and realisations, and I still do deal with dysphoria now, and oftentimes it is hard to deal with since I now know longer have the 'cure' of transition to look towards. So its not all perfect. But those instances are far less than the dysphoria before, which was really just all-consuming, and I'm learning to deal with it the way I deal with my eating disorder/body dysmorphia thoughts. I found therapy for those issues quite helpful as an approach to dysphoria feelings too.
Best of luck to you, I hope that whatever decision you reach is one that helps you find peace with yourself <3
No but I want to. If it wasn't for the health issues, the discomfort/pain, and the worry about worsening by body dysmorphia / dysphoria by trying to change my body, I would bind. I have tried to do it again but it just makes me feel physically anxious and panicked